Break-up & Loss

Sleeping with my best friend WASN’T the reason why I divorced him and moved on

One woman's story of discovering her husband's true nature and how she came through the experience
Sad woman divorce

(As told to Team Bonobology)

Why sometimes divorce is not the worst thing that can happen in a marriage

They say a divorce is the worst thing that can happen in a marriage. It tears apart a family, hurtful words are exchanged and the pain is indescribable. People will offer free (and usually unwanted) advice and tell you to work on your marriage. But they don’t have to wake up with dread to face another day with a man they no longer love. When a woman wants a divorce, you have to trust that she has already done all that it takes to save the marriage and has exhausted all means. And more importantly, is ready to face whatever consequences are thrown her way. I want every woman to understand that divorce has some natural reactions that always fade away in time, and we can all pull through and arrive at the end as a much happier, stronger and positive person.

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The final straw

After much deliberation and thought, one day I packed my bags and left my husband of two years. I stood strong that I wouldn’t be taken for granted, manipulated and treated like shit anymore; and towards the end I discovered his involvement with my very married best friend, which was the last straw. I left him standing there in shock, pain, agony and tears. And nothing gave me more satisfaction. Because I knew he would bounce back into a nasty person within a span of hours. I knew he would call our family and friends and anyone who would listen and craft a story to show him in great light while tainting me. He would do everything he could to vilify me.

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  1. A bond does not die in one night. The death of a bond crawls in slow in the roots and then it happens all at once. And marriage is much complex a bond than the other relationships in our lives. And if a marriage is toxic then it has the capacity to damage us more than we imagine. There’s something meaningful i have read once- “The opposite of love is not hatred; it is apathy.” Like love, apathy too is formulated by a compiling episodes. And the heart knows what it knows. And there’s no deny to the truth. The best thing we can do to ourselves when we are in a toxic relationship is to release ourselves from its bondage. Because, like any human being you don’t deserve to be hurt and stay in a pit that has no fathom at all. I just understand your choice and i want you to know that you made a right choice.

  2. You won! We know! Congrats on being the matured one… Mistakes may happen but you corrected it.. Hope many others have the same courage like you..

  3. Strong woman !! I hope every women b as strong and deal with their beakups graciously. Divorce should not b seen as a taboo

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