“Oh no, I never expected this doc, so officially from now on I’m labelled a wicked mother in law. ” These were my words to the gynaecologist as he carefully positioned our new born son beside me in Command Hospital, Bangalore. Obviously, My primeval desire was a daughter this time after previously having a son.
Its been quite a journey ‘kuch khattee kuch meethee’ bringing up our two boys.Today, they are married and I’ve worked very hard and still struggling to be a balanced mother in law. I may not be the best but definitely I’m not a wicked one.
But my question still remains unanswered after so many years, as to what is so great about having sons?? Although with the awareness for protecting girl child, there is some change but even today it remains a huge issue in our society. Gone are the times when parents expected the boys to be ‘buḍhape ka sahara’, with the upsurge in average age parents are ‘buḍhape meiṅ bhee bachchon ka sahara’. Affordable old age homes are mushrooming in the best locations in most of the cities. Another option is to take the path of the modern and stylish spirituality that will keep you fit and occupied. In the name of donations most of the five star ashrams allow you to buy a room on time sharing basis. Chalo, one most pressing reason to have sons falls redundant.
Our elder son has been married for eight years, since then I’ve been questioned umpteen times by relatives and friends about the upgradation of my status to a grand mom. Two years back our younger son also tied the nuptial knot so now the reasons to prove the fertility of my family have doubled. Ṭhose who are reccomending the IVF and IAV clinics for the continuity of our family generations, like responsible citizens of India, discuss the population issues over a drink in their drawing rooms every evening. I May sound unconscionable but its none of my business to force parenthood on my children just to fulfill my desire to be a grand mum. My generations shall continue even if I adopt a grandchild and bring meaning to the life of one destitute child. After all, with the increasing population, there has to be a beginning somewhere, my children can afford to have a child but there are countless children already there in our country who can afford nothing. Thus, the best gift we can give our children on their wedding is to give them the freedom from honouring our desires to become grandparents.
In fact the sole benefit of having sons is that they come with the survival kit of spirituality for their parents preloaded with unlimited patience, detachment, fearlessness, calm and equanimity.
A daughter will always dote on her family…… its so so natural naaa….
A husband should always dote on his wife……its highly essential jee….
Now now now….I know what’s going on in your mind….the sons have trained their parents the supreme practice of freedom from relationships,mind you not tutored by their better half but it happened long long before they got married. If you wish to be a spiritual Buddha the bhikshu,go ahead and wish to have sons.
SO BE IT