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Swiped right in error, thank you Boredom!


“How many times accidental acts have put you on a spot?” A friend asked me while sharing her Friday afternoon lunch with me.

“Well, an Ideal answer is far too many for me”, I said.

Those who are not on Tinder, right swipe means yes, you are interested. This is what my understanding is and needless to say about Left swipe. So out of sheer boredom I swiped right on my ex’s profile (Leena) on Tinder. I’ll save the drama and get to the point; for the next 8 hours I was in a dilemma, about what will happen?

Leena was married is what I was told by her best friends, Tania. Leena and I had not met for years, perhaps a decade or so. Anyway, time factor isn’t all that crucial because juicy bits are is what I wish to share today.

It was a Saturday afternoon, 1 pm. While I browsing on Tinder I realized I had received an alert which said, profile matched. Yes! It was from Leena’s profile. She had initiated the conversation surprisingly and just going by my intuition; I sensed something was off in those words. “No! (Leena) is married now; this might be an error from her end as well.” I wondered. Though I was tempted honestly I tried to escape from my past fantasies. Terrible me!

Our Tinder chat was slightly formal but Leena or whoever was chatting, had started revealing unusual details gradually. It said, “And I am sure you remember that mole around guess where? You were obsessed to that bit, you naughty dog. Weren’t you?”

‘Wow, when did that happened’, I thought. I liked the tone there, would be an understatement. It sounded damn good. Yes I have had my share of fetish with my ladies but this was someone who knew the perfect Art of Seduction.

Though we had a relation in the past, I thought time changes all of us or rather we adapt and accept new things in life with changing times. — Sorry, got a bit philosophical there, moving on.

Sexts poured in by 3 pm on that same day. It was strange but sensual. You know when nostalgia bites your earlobe and stuff. I just coined that biting bit, ugh—spice, you see. Ok, won’t do it ever again. I am not even funny. (Say it, 100 times-ok)

I called Tania and during our ‘casual conversation’ and I was shocked to hear what she revealed. It was confirmed that, Leena, my Ex’s married and available for the fun-factor. Besides, “who says, marriage isn’t fun.” Fast-forward: It wasn’t fun initially but they planned it to make it an enjoyable marriage to avoid social interferences and apparently it worked out well for them. Here’s how!

It was Samantha, my ex’s step mother (35 and smoking hot) who had misused Leena’s identity and created a Leena’s profile for a revenge. YES! But then, I thought, was it really Samantha who was chatting with me on Tinder or was it someone else?

Suddenly, ‘trust issue’ was my new black. After few days I bumped into Leena’s husband Bonny at the Airport. We exchanged numbers and Bonny found me really funny and interesting. God alone knows why but anyway.


In the meantime, I was chatting with my supposedly ex Leena. She planned for a secret meeting at her farmhouse. Key of the farmhouse was hammered on a nail behind the fourth coconut tree. It was a dimly lit house with a small bar at the corner and a music player with a stack of CDs. I made myself a drink and sipped.

I heard footsteps and saw Samantha wearing leather pants, high heel boots and a whiplash in her hand. Two hefty men dressed in dogs’ costumes started following Samantha. I wanted to run away from that freak-show but I was curious to know who had called me to be here at the Farmhouse.

Samantha ordered them to remove their cloths, except their masks. She made them kiss and touch each other. And came closer to me, pulling me closer by my necktie and whispered slowly — you know Leena’s married but you still like watching your married ex-Leena, don’t you? You naughty freak!

Image: Courtesy Google

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