Humour

Techno-age husband and stone-age wife

He does everything on his phone, but she regards technology with suspicion
Techno

So what happens when a tech-savvy guy and a gadget-wary gal come together? Do sparks fly? Well yes, they most certainly do, but of a different kind! Not the warm, mushy ones, but the cold, hushy ones!

Hi, I am Bindiya, the ancient-in-spirit woman of the story. Jesal, my husband of ten years, is the whacky techie. And though a decade of marriage has brought us together in many ways, the tech-divide separates us by a century (so to speak).

Upon introspection, I realise that I am tech-wary. I’m a fiercely private person, who dislikes technology invading my privacy. And while I love the connectivity that FB and WhatsApp provide, I don’t like the way they intrude upon my personal space. Browse any hotel through the phone’s Internet, and its ads instantly show up on my FB page, offering the best deals. I uninstalled the FB app from my phone the day I realised that it was pulling contacts from my phonebook to give me friend suggestions. That is why I keep fancy Internet stuff at arm’s length as a policy. Jesal, on the other hand, is different. He has no qualms about using various apps on his phone; with him, privacy is not that big a concern. He’s of course well aware of all the threats of Internet theft, so he just keeps his banking stuff out of reach, and away from his phone.

After DeMon, Jesal advised that I should install Paytm into my phone to pay for sundry purchases. I flatly refused. I still pay by cash most of the time, at others, it is by card. I understand technology makes life easy, but that ease cannot come for me at the cost of my personal information. And where physical involvement is both easy and available, I prefer not to let tech take over.

Once while travelling by train, we saw that the cleaning of the compartment was deficient.

Me: We must report this to the TT when he comes.

Him (with phone in hand): I have already tweeted about this to Mr. Suresh Prabhu on his Twitter handle.

Me: Oh! Good!

Discussing song playlist for my car:

Me: I want to make a playlist of songs by Lataji and Kishore. Is there a safe website to download these songs?

Him: No, all such free websites invariably carry one or another virus.

Me: Fine then, I’ll buy CDs.

Him: Don’t, I’ll get you music cards.

Find out how you can celebrate the differences in a marriage.

Me: I’m not sure about those. Will they have nice songs?

Him (slightly irritated): They have separate cards for different singers: Lataji, Kishore, Rafi et al.

Me: So can we pick and choose what songs of a particular singer we want to download?

Him (more irritated): No, it’s a pre-prepared song mix.

Me: Oh, then I think CDs are better. At least they have 20 odd good songs of my choice.

Him (highly irritated): Music cards contain 200 songs, that’s multiple times those on CDs. Me: Will they play properly in the car?

Him: (Silence.)

End of discussion.

Even if both are poles apart, mutual understanding and effort is essential for any relationship to thrive.

Upon leaving behind stuff at a hotel:

Me: Calling up the hotel lost and found department a dozen times, asking where it had reached.

Him: Unfavourable review on the hotel’s Twitter page, got an instant call from a senior official, assuring it would be delivered in two days. And it was!

Me: Good use of Twitter!

Shopping online:

Me: Hey, I ordered a packet of coffee, should arrive today, please pay Rs. Xyz to the delivery person.

Him: I bought a camera lens, just let me know when it arrives.

Me: How much do I have to pay the delivery person?

Him: It’s already paid.

Me: How can you pay such a big amount upfront? What if it doesn’t reach us? How will we prove that we haven’t received it? What if someone else picks it up?

Him: IT.WILL.COME.

End of discussion.

Our own beliefs notwithstanding, our approach to our daughter’s tech exposure is singular: Bordering on nil. She has very limited access to our phones. She doesn’t know how to play mobile games. Nor can she use an Ipad. Instead, we spend time playing carrom, Scrabble and other board games. She isn’t allowed to skulk away into a corner with a mobile or tab, instead, she’s encouraged to be in the company of family and have fun. There at least, the ancient and the modern merge!

P.S.: I am not as tech-ignorant as this post might suggest ;-).

Published in Humour

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