Humour

Ten commandments for the bedroom

Some commandments that you must follow to maintain good marital health

The Ten Commandments in the bedroom that couples should follow for a successful marriage-

1.   Thou shalt not covet thy spouse’s half of the bed.

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‘give some space!’ Image Source

2.   Thou shalt endow thy spouse with half of thy blanket.

blanket sharing
‘share the blanket!!’ Image Source

3.   Thou shalt not snore.

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‘do NOT snore’ Image Source

4.   Thou shalt cleanse thy earthly body thoroughly before thou retirest.

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‘take a shower before sleeping’ Image Source

5. Thou shalt not consume onion, garlic, or any other malodourous substances before thou retirest for the day.

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‘it smells’ Image Source

6. Thou shalt not pass any noxious fumes under the sheets or over or anywhere near thy spouse.

‘no obnoxious smells allowed’ Image Source

7. Thou shalt not speak in thy sleep. But if thou must speak, thou shalt speak clearly and lucidly

‘incoherent speeches are a no’ Image Source

Related reading: The trick to a happy, joyful marriage

8.  If thou dreamest an interesting dream, thou shalt wait till the next morn to relate thy dream to thy (non-slumbering) spouse.

‘share your dreams’ Image Source

9.  Thou shalt not warm thy spouse’s side of the bed in summer.

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‘no cuddles in summer’ Image Source

10.  Thou shalt embrace thy spouse (especially in the cold winter months) to have and to hold till sleep do you part.

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‘ONLY cuddles in winter’
Image Source

8 reasons why separate bedrooms are good for couples

When I saw my live-in boyfriend having sex with someone else in our bed

Published in Humour

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