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The bitch factor

half face of woman

I attained puberty at a very early age. From the little knowledge that I gathered about being an adolescent, I understood that my body was slowly undergoing visible changes. However, I didn’t care about any of those changes. All I wanted was a good patch of eyebrows. I hated my eyebrows. Maa didn’t allow threading of my eyebrows until I have reached higher secondary educational level. Hence, I was bullied throughout my entire high school days- the reason being my ugly eyebrows.

You heard it right! My seniors (obviously girls) would pick on me every single day at school. They would make fun of my eyebrows behind my back or at times, right on my face. Here, I won’t be shy to declare that I was one of those good students in school but a very timid girl. I hardly spoke up. That was my weakness. Maybe that was the reason they got to me.

It is not an unknown fact that a girl is another girl’s worst enemy. Well, I realised that just a few years ago. Before that I always gave up my heart and soul to my girlfriends. The first best friend that I made in school used to slander me in my absence. When caught, she will let out her waterworks and that would leave me helpless. In short, I had a toxic best friend for many many years. Recently, one of my close friends even went to the extent of fat shaming me. I welcome honest criticism but there is a very fine line between a good bronx cheer and a bad bronx cheer. Hers was the latter.

Why is it so difficult for a woman to rejoice in an another woman’s success?

I am making this statement from many small and big personal encounters. I remember this particular friend who was so competitive with me regarding her grades that she went around spreading a very childish rumour. The rumour was something like this, “My Maa went to a palmist. He said that my grades are falling down because I am friends with Sumona!” Can anyone believe this absurd story? I immediately stopped being friends with her. It was impossible to continue our friendship because that rumour just broke my heart.

Also, why is that a woman blames the other woman for stealing their fictional man?

We were a group of four friends and one of them had a crush on this good for nothing guy. I am referring him as a fictional man because he had no idea about my friend’s existence. It was a total one-sided crush. But one fateful day, out of nowhere that guy asked me out. I immediately turned him down but before I could explain this to my friend, she kind of disbanded me from her life. I was a boyfriend stealer, as I heard later. Seriously? I was just so baffled and angry that I chose not to explain myself. I did nothing wrong. Ironically, that was her stupid eight standard crush and at present, she is married to someone else. We are now just facebook friends. Well, so much for breaking our friendship over a silly crush.

In the course of time, I met many other girls who were evil beyond comparison. One of them particularly quoted, “My parents don’t want me to be friends with a northeast girl!” Why? Do you think I am a cannibal or do I perform black magic on beautiful girls? Whatever it is or it was, meeting a girl genuinely liking a girl was a far-fetched dream for me.

These are the reasons why I believe in being good friends with boys.

In fact, I tend to gel well with them more than girls. They aren’t green-eyed monsters (jealous) and they aren’t addicted to gossiping. The camaraderie I share with my male friends is simple and hassle-free. I can be what I want to be without being judged by them. The most weird thing about women is that they grow up to hate woman who they haven’t even met in real life. I blame myself for doing that too. I do feel threatened by girls with both beauty and brain. But, this is also true that I have never given up to the bitch factor to water my jealous crop. I have undergone the pain of being disliked for no reason. So why should I inflict the same on other women?

At present, I have a couple of great girlfriends. They are amazing! But then again, it is a lot of work. Some days are joyful as a field of sunflower while other days are gloomy as a dark night. Because we are all women and we ourselves don’t know what may tick us off at any moment on any day.

P.S- This blog is entirely written from my personal point of view and also real life experiences. Let us not get into any kind of debate on whether two girls can or cannot be good friends. Opinions may differ. Period!

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16 Comments

  1. @Sumona Chetia… I could really connect and my life came as a flashback – beautifully written… Even I feel the same – don’t know why I am unable to make true friendship with females; but I feel proud of my very best male friends with whom I gel very well; ” The camaraderie I share with my male friends is simple and hassle-free”
    even i spend evenings crying why these girls didnt call me for get-together – Am I a bitch ??

    1. @nisha-nair-gupta Ma’am, even if we aren’t born as bitches, the cruel world forces us to become one. But till the time we know how to control our own bitchy urges and don’t stoop down to their level we are fine 😊

  2. In Mumbai we all females are bitches. I cry a lot myself but crying is a way for gaining strength not weakness, that’s what it says in Buddhahood, it gives inner wisdom, well written article Sumona, loved reading it

    1. Haha. I love the fact that you are so genuine in your opinions. Thank you Rimli! Also, congratulations on being the star blogger. You deserved it 😊

  3. I think all girls above 3 years age are bitches. Having said that I have had these other women fight over my man….I was magnanimous enough to say lets share because good guys are difficult to come by. But no! Bitches will be bitches. LOL

  4. It took me years to find out why my girlfriends hated me then. Turned out I had picked the wrong ones to befriend. I have two really great girlfriends now. 😉 But the fact still remains – for some weird reason I can’t make more girl friends. 😀

  5. Even I had such experiences….while reading each and every line…I could feel …what I had gone through. The difference is that u were quite bold and confident …but I used to cry endlessly..Looking back, I regret. Imyself spoiled my teenage days

    1. Hello Sawmya Ma’am,
      The secret is that even I used to cry helplessly. I was and I am still a big cry baby 😄. It’s just that these lessons of life made me stronger with time and thus, with help of the mighty pen I am able to express everything boldly.

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