Marriage is two hearts that beat as one and two souls that crave to be together… all very poetic and pleasing to the ear! Often this gives way to the seven-year itch when, after the first stormy onrush of emotions, replete with Valentine’s Day gifts and outpourings of love, signs of ennui seem to set in. The husband begins to stop pretending that his wife is Helen of Troy and begins looking around, albeit discreetly. The wife is likewise occupied, emptying her spouse’s pocket to line her cupboard, buying expensive clothes, perfumes, accessories; in short, everything to stay attractive and ahead in the race.
However, the first step is always the most difficult as there is the blasted conscience that has to be reckoned with. Once that is quashed, with the little red devil patting one on the back encouragingly, the actual affair begins. What is ironic is that one has to travel the same path of flowers, chocolates, jewellery and romance to strike lucky again!
The Tell Tale Signs: Cupid, don’t be stupid! Women have very strong instincts about their husbands. A straying hubby tries to hide it by turning extra loving towards his wife. Jyoti, a beautician, found her husband bringing her roses, and acting very romantic all of a sudden. He had never been so, and her suspicions were aroused, and she set a tail on him. The act fell apart when she discovered him with his boss’ daughter, who was about sixteen years younger than him! She walked out on him, unable to stand the idea of being thrown over for a younger woman.
Another sign that is a giveaway is when the spouse begins to take special care of his appearance, wearing sexy clothes, spraying on that extra bit of aftershave, striving to lose weight or dyeing his hair; more so if all these changes are brand new. He turns secretive about his whereabouts, switches his mobile off, starts working overtime, and yet, is not in the office when his wife calls!
Thus, there are examples galore of people seeking excitement outside marriage. However, most times, the blame must point within… the excitement and the love have smouldered and died down, and no attempts have been made to stoke the fire. It is time to identify the threats to one’s marriage when this point arrives. There are certain values that must not be forgotten, that actually enhance the sacred bond of matrimony.
Being honest with each other is all important. Respecting each other’s views is paramount. Giving each other space within the relationship without being possessive can make life more exciting. Doing things together, like going on a vacation, spending a night out at a restaurant, communicating feelings and most important, trusting each other, are all core values that can make your marriage work, and how!
Published in ‘Just For Women’