Humour

The Penis Diaries Chapter 5: The sob-sob story

A series from the point of view of that supreme object of man's obsession, his penis
Man with towel

If you need an introduction to the protagonist, read his story here and here. And further episodes here and here.

Hey, Dick here again! How have you guys been doing? Anybody who was looking forward to meet me? Well, hello!

Now I usually don’t share sad stories, but we know each other as well as the nuts in the sac, so I guess I can share this with you!

Big John was out on the field. The game was a close one and that too the finale.

Second half, and the other team was taking a free hit!

All players lined up, dutifully clutching their crotches. Home ground for Big John’s team, so lots of cheering going on! I end up a happy soul in such situations. And, while I agree it was totally unwarranted, I just sprang up to life.

As luck may have it, Big John looks around and makes eye contact with Jenny. Now my bad luck, and perhaps there is only so much blood in one’s body that they can either afford thinking clearly or a hard on. Big John choses to waive! :facepalm:

That’s not where Murphy’s law ends, contrarily that’s where it starts! So the ball flies into the air, takes a trajectory that no God-damn scientist can ever explain and lands the only half protected crotch in the lineup.

Oh damn

Jenny dropped her coke glass! The guy who took the free hit covered his face yelling “Oh crap!”. Every single soul in the stadium stood in silence, shock and awe! Big John fell on the ground with a thud, I saw a tunnel of light and a bearded pecker with a white jizzy robe. Or perhaps I had passed out and no nothing of what happened.

Big John ended up at the doctor, who said all looked fine, but I lay lifeless for three full days!

They say a cat (no pun intended) has nine lives. I guess Dicks have at least two!

This is how your break up affects your pet: A dog’s point of view

Post break-up drama

Published in Humour

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