It is a common belief that a ‘perfect marriage’ is not possible but I have a different opinion, as I have witnessed a perfect marriage. This marriage has been a beautiful story of a great bond. My parents had a perfect marriage and that had a positive influence on our lives.
For a marriage to be perfect, you do not need a frictionless or a plain lovey-dovey romance in your life. A perfect marriage is a blend of love, mutual respect, understanding and maturity that lets the couple settle their disputes and arguments well in time, where they understand the need for independence of their better half, they have the courage to forgive and forget and they stand together through the low and high tides of life alike.
Both my parents have been financially independent and that lent a great deal of security to their lives, leaving no scope for arguments on financial aspects. Their professional background gave them a mature understanding and tolerance for each other’s opinion, hence building a bond of respect between them. Their likes and dislikes were similar, lending further strength to their love.
Any decision concerning the family or house was taken by them jointly. They would confide in each other about the smallest thing as their love was built on trust.
Being in a nuclear family, they had to share all the work amongst themselves and they were both willing to step forward to help whenever there was the need. They faced family pressures like all couples do, but my father always supported my mother and that made life smooth for them.
My mother never refused any help that the family needed and my father ensured that she was not taken for granted.
My mother ensured that all arguments were settled before the day ended. This was her mantra for a happy and peaceful married life. She would say sorry and end the day on a happy note, in case they had argued about something, but she put her point of view across to my father the next day and clear the issue. My father kept an open outlook to understand my mother and apologise if he was in the wrong.
Ego was never a restraining factor in their relationship as both were willing to hear each other’s point of view. My father used to say, ‘we never fight, we only have a difference of opinion’ , and he was so right about it. I have heard both of them apologise at various times and promise never to do something that would not go well with the other. They never gave each other any reason to turn any argument bitter. It was always a mature and healthy argument which would get over fast.
My father would make tea for my mother’s friends whenever they visited us – he would say that my mother makes tea when his friends visit us so he should make tea for her friends.
Their bond has grown stronger over the years with their love, understanding, trust and mutual respect; and this bond has given our home its abundant happiness.
Though my father passed away some years back, yet whenever my mother needs any advice from him, he comes in her dreams to give her the solution to her problem. And the solutions have helped her immensely. This is the beauty of their everlasting relationship.
You may wonder why have I used the present tense in talking about my father. I do so as I believe he is still there with us, in our thoughts and in our hearts.