So even though ours is a rather clichéd relationship, it is one that has indeed discovered the secret to a happy marriage. And today, I am here to let you in on it. Let me start with a little background at first.
My partner and I both work in the media and communications sector. It isn’t uncommon for a lot of people who work in the media to find a spouse and happy marriage from the same profession. The wife has dabbled in everything from radio, to TV, film, internet content and has even done a stint in journalism. Me? I am into advertising. Not hardcore advertising – because I have flirted with TV and film too but advertising is my core competence and area of interest.
We met when I was pitching a TV idea to her. And yes, the show got made. We fell in love during the making of the show. So, we never worked together again – ethics et al.Despite the various media sectors we dabble in, we do have a lot in common. We discuss scripts, ideas, casting, background music…be it for my ad films or her movies/shows.
We have been around the block – we are both in our 40s and this is our second marriage each. And are seen as (hopefully) a pretty relaxed couple.So that’s the good part – understanding and appreciating the pressures that come with the business is our secret to a happy marriage. But we are very different people. With very different habits.
How To Have A Happy Marriage
The wife found the crowd in the advertising industry to be pretentious and over confident. And a lot of the ads they make can be kind of boring too. I had to introduce her to my friends and ensure she spent quality time with them – also explain how unlike TV or movies, advertising is not an end to itself – it’s a small part of the marketing mix and the overconfidence is necessary to sell an idea to a client in 15 minutes. The ads she finds boring are selected from thousands to do the job – it’s part science.
She interrupts. When you are narrating the idea to her, she will interrupt. Not just her – all TV and film people do. And most advertising people will wait and hear your entire script or presentation. Then I realized that interrupting is not being rude, it’s part of the process. You can’t wait for three hours of narration, the point has to be made then, shared then and you move on.
She loves movie stars. My idea of stars are the people who come on Shark Tank. She watches English, French, Hindi, Marathi and Punjabi cinema. I watch American TV on Netflix. She loves music. I am tone deaf. She loves reading. I am a lapsed reader.
And slowly we started spending the evening doing our own thing. Until we realized that it needn’t be that way. We realized how to be happy in marriage.
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Create The Right Recipe For A Happy Marriage
The secret to a happy marriage is not something you are blessed with. It is something you have to repeatedly create with sacrifice, compromise in a relationship and communication. Confused, how? Then take our example and see how we do it.
Now I watch one movie a week with her.
We pick an American TV show we both like and watch it together most days of the week. She’s now a fan of certain genres of American TV too.
She introduced me to Sufi music and I am hooked to the same.
I took her help in some ads, discussed marketing strategy on a portal her friend is starting and other such things – now she’s enjoying discussing advertising or at least doesn’t hate it.
The 5000 books she has lying around have made me a reader again.
The list of small things that make up our happy marriage goes on… and I have discovered that this is indeed the answer to how to stay happily married.
Related Reading: On Shiva, Parvati, and showing up well for partners
How To Be Happy In Marriage? Make The Right Sacrifices
She has a gang of eight friends and they party together and go for frequent girls night outs. I am more of a one-to-one over a drink guy. Now I look forward to the parties and she looks forward to the ‘meeting a single friend for a long evening’ thing. But we have made our sacrifices and struck a balance there too.
I get up at 4 am to work and now she’s up early too. Earlier, it used to be a Herculean task to drag her out of bed. Now, she chooses to wake up with me and for me. Clearly, the secret to a happy marriage is in doing the little things to your partner.
In the morning, she exercises and I plan to…ok…that’s wishful thinking.
We Have Discovered The Secret To A Happy Marriage
Yup, I can say this with full confidence that we have discovered the secret to a happy marriage. So, all is well in paradise…and the proof of that is that despite all this, we are very much the same people before we got married. Want to know how to stay happily married? We have just picked up each other’s better habits and learnt how to make adjustments for one another.
It’s made us realize that the secret to a happy marriage is celebrating the things we love about each other, showing each other we care and fixing the small things.
Big differences are not fixable and cannot be altered monumentally. Couples who have huge problems either end up divorced or live loveless lives.
Small differences are, and should be fixed. It’s stupid not to. So take this advice for a happy marriage. Because then there’s a danger of drifting apart or no longer having your spouse as your best friend.
And here’s the most important happy marriage tip and a food for thought: If your spouse is not your best friend, then what even is the point of going through the travails of life with them?
If one needs advice for a happy marriage or wants to know what makes a marriage strong – they must think more about the adjustments that they make for their partner. Spending your entire life with someone is about understanding their habits and accommodating the same into yours.
The recipe for a happy marriage lies in two people who are childishly in love, are willing to be better for the other person, practice good conflict resolution and good communication.