Can we ever get back to the way we were? That’s a question people keeping asking themselves as they contemplate their love life. This constant thought process can eventually take you to a place where you are almost begging your ex to come back.
Whether it is closing the distance between your current partner and you or it is longing for an ex, the past seems to take on a rose-tinted glaze for most of us and we want to go back there – to our happy place. A place which we think we can navigate better now that we know what all could go wrong.
Should I Beg My Ex To Come Back?
Begging for love is something that we have all sadly been guilty of at some point or the other. Heartbreak is not easy and instead of learning how to be happily single, it just seems easier to find yourself at your ex’s door, begging to come back.
However, no matter how right it may feel in that moment, it may not be the correct decision for you. It is important to remember why you broke up with them in the first place and keep reminding yourself of the same. It is very easy to let your emotions slip, have way too many drinks and make drunk calls to try and get your ex back after begging constantly.
There are many reasons you might ignore all maturity and ask yourself, “Should I beg my ex to come back?’, hoping it will give you happiness again. But know that your reason for going back to them might not have to do with love but more about how the situation has left you feeling.
Related Reading: 10 Ways To Deal With Heartbreak
Nostalgia is the culprit
Longing to be with an ex is natural, of course. Time has a way of making a thing that seemed unbearable at the time suddenly desirable again. Like old books and old photos, nostalgia is the ultimate romantic. We have all thought about the good times with an ex at least once after the breakup.
Whether it was the good sex, the considerate partnership, the amazing adventures or their ability to love you, we all were in relationships for one thing or the other. Being single is great, you see, but nostalgia has a really strong pull that can be difficult to deny.
Why Am I Begging To Come Back And Reconcile?
Our emotions are rarely a crystal clear stream that we can see through. We have to jump through hoops in order to figure out what we are feeling. So, when we actually want to get back with our ex, we are almost begging to come back without even realizing the actual repercussions of the same.
We don’t always know it immediately; we can see it in our actions and other emotions we may feel. There is no good reason why one should be wondering how to beg someone to take you back for two primary reasons. One reason is that begging someone to love you is already going to make for an unhealthy relationship because nobody should be in a relationship that is forced.
Moreover, the breakup happened for good reason and in very rare cases, will going back to your ex make things better. But sometimes, our broken hearts get the better of us and that’s why, here are some reasons you might find yourself begging to come back into a relationship.
1. The panic mode
Usually, immediately after a sudden breakup, you feel the uncertainty crowding you. You feel like a closet that’s been ripped apart by a storm and you need to arrange it back again into order. Since the sudden absence of your partner is what causes this mental clutter, it is only natural to want them again and can lead you to begging to come back into a relationship.
The missing piece of the puzzle, as it were. You want to call them and ask them to get back, help you put your life in order again. The amount of dependency you felt is made abundantly clear in this situation. But use this as an excuse to work on yourself and teach yourself how to be alone. Your happiness should not depend on a person to an extent that you have to beg them for anything.
2. You feel like calling them and talking to them
While friendly exes certainly exist, there’s usually some time that needs to pass before they can get there. When this time has passed, there’s this pull you feel towards them. Time softens the blows and negativity that come with a breakup. At this time, feeling like you want to talk to them is natural.
But if you keep wanting to talk to them the same way you used to as lovers, if you want them to share more than platonic intimacy with you, you might be longing for more than friendship with your ex.
Related Reading: How To Win Your Ex Back – And Make Them Stay FOREVER
3. Feeling like you have unfinished business
Looking at anything in retrospect can give you perspective. When looking at a relationship in retrospect you realize where you both went wrong and it can make you feel like you left the relationship too early, as if there was room to grow and you could give it another shot.
Your mind will constantly be buzzing with ways to improve your relationship. If this feeling lasts longer than the retrospection itself, if you keep feeling that you have something left between you, you might think that you will only feel better if you get your ex back after begging.
4. The comparison
Every relationship comes with a unique rhythm and its own set of problems. However, if you’ve had a relationship before, you will always compare parts of it with your current one. Sometimes, you might feel that your ex-partner was a better lover or better friend, better at giving you company than your current boyfriend and you might want to give it another shot. This is a painful process though, because it means that you’ve started thinking about breaking up your current relationship.
Related Reading: How Do You Know If Your Girlfriend Still Loves Her Ex
5. The growth riddle
A relationship may not work sometimes because of the time that it exists in. Whether you’re too young, too busy, too naive or too arrogant, it doesn’t work for both of you at the time. However, time tends to change people and teach them a thing or two about their behavior. People change, their circumstances too, and as a result, when you see each other after a long time something just clicks. Because of this reason you will still be thinking about how to make him miss you and commit to you.
You both have now learnt the life skills that you needed back then to make things work and the idea of getting back together with them doesn’t feel odd. You know a little bit of the love still remains and even though the breakup that happened scares you, you still consider the alternative. This situation is rare, but when it arrives you know that it’s time to give it another shot.
It could but it may not be the best situation for you. Understand why you are begging to come back in the first place and then think about all the reasons you broke up in the first place. After having thought about it rationally, reconsider going back to your ex.
Yes. If you have to beg them and force them, that means you deserve better. You deserve to be with someone who chooses to love you and not somebody who has to.