We always pay so much attention to how to get into a relationship and make a relationship last. Compromise, understanding, trust building – are only a few of those things. While that is right in it’s own place, it is also worth considering what are the things not to do in a relationships. Those factors can easily make or break a relationship just as much as practices that make a relationship work in the first place.
6 Things You Should Never Do In A Long-Term Relationship
So if you want to consider making your relationship last, let’s take a different tangent altogether today and talk more about the things not to do in relationships. It is possible that you or your partner might be indulging in one of these, without any understanding of how these little things can creep up into your relationship and really make it a toxic relationship.
Better safe than sorry, right? But don’t worry. Now that you’re here, it will only get better as we are going to give you some really important long-term relationships advice. If you have been dating the same person for a while now, these are some common problems that will sprout as you both start getting attuned to one another. Thus, we give you 6 things not to do in relationships, especially if they’re long term.
1. Being complacent
Every relationship is a work-in-progress. It requires constant labour, designing and moulding. What usually goes (possibly) wrong is when laziness invades. And one may begin to think that it’s there, it’s available, and it’s not going to end or get over. FYI, it does get over. Relationships too expire and sometimes sooner than you realize, if not kept fit, strong and free of lethargy. Complacency, therefore, is the commonest contaminant in a relationship.
Forgetting that you have a life with your wife, poring over work in the office, or going out to have your customary glass of whiskey every day with your group of friends without paying heed to spending some private time with your spouse may seem regular parts of domesticity, but that’s how complacency begins, that’s how dissatisfaction sets in. Consider this one of the relationship mistakes to avoid and try to be more vigilant with your partner in matters of spending time or working on the bond together.
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2. Letting performance pressure get the better of you
This adulterant is not just restricted to sexual competence. In the times we live in, everything about our lives is about performance and targets and in matters of sexual performance, achieving the big O. We constantly lose our original and authentic self by trying to shape ourselves in ways that are deemed ideal and perfect. We constantly strive on Facebook or on Instagram to be liked by people, to be validated and authenticated by them. It’s as if we must become a ‘certain someone’ if we are to be accepted and loved.
This tendency may very well spread into a relationship and our presence in that relationship may merely become a way of performance, where we are clearly not ourselves but are only trying to achieve external goals. Considering what not to do in a relationship? Make this your first milestone. In a long-term relationship, this invariably needs to go. Try to be as original, authentic and absolute as possible in front of a partner with whom you might consider spending your life.
3. Feeling insecure about yourself
Do you constantly find yourself outside the body, judging yourself and beating yourself up for not looking the way you’re supposed to look? Well, it’s time for those anxieties to leave! In a long-term relationship, you can’t afford to be outside your body, judge yourself from a distance and spend all your time wondering how you look.
You need to come back to your body and start accepting that even though you may look like a broom in the morning when you wake up, it’s okay to show your face and let yourself be kissed. Body image issues are too lame for an LTR to survive! This long-term relationship advice is not just for your relationship, but also for you.
4. Indulging in doubtful behavior
It takes time to have the kind of trust that would allow a relationship to flourish. It’s easier for love to come by, but trust may take its own time. But if you find yourself constantly wondering: Which friend did he go out with tonight? Is he really going to a house party or a night club, (I heard music when he called – maybe he’s lying, maybe he’s somewhere else)? Being a jealous, possessive boyfriend or girlfriend is certainly one of the things not to do in a relationship to make it work.
Did she directly go home from my place? Why did she leave early today? She recoiled when I touched her phone, maybe there was a WhatsApp message that she didn’t want me to see? early in a relationship and don’t stop, then maybe it’s time to talk it out as honestly as possible and tell your partner how best you’d like to resolve it. These are relationship mistakes to avoid and mistakes that you need to avoid NOW. Because the moment this starts overcoming you, you will not even realize it and it will drag your relationship all the way to the bottom.
Related Reading: Are Indians ignorant about their bodies and intimacy?
5. Sticking to utopian ideas of romance
Sex may fade over time and become not so good. Love too may fade and it is natural for that to happen over time. What will not fade though is company and companionship. We give ourselves to ideas of how our relationships will look in the future and we keep harping on the amount of love we feel from our partners, and how much we are capable of giving. Whether the sex is great or not, or whether it’s going to be that great five years down the line.
Of course, love and sex are integral parts of being in a relationship. They bring compatibility. But that’s not what will let you and your partner survive in a long-term relationship. Companionship is the only thing that survives and helps two people either to remain under one roof or within the choice and commitment to be together. So learn this before it’s too late and make working on the friendship and camaraderie, one of the things you do in a relationship!
6. Seeking instant gratification
This is again a byproduct of the times we live in. Replying to a text message instantly, or seeing the blue tick and writhing in anxiety when the reply doesn’t come, the desire to be constantly connected, expecting a ‘love you’ at the end of each phone call, or getting upset when no ‘kiss’ emoticon appears in a text message – all of these are indeed common long-term relationship problems, but know that they need to be done away with.
You’ll realize how frivolous such things are but how they occupy so much space and time in our heads and how futile all of that really is. Such expectations are absolutely inconsequential, and they only make you insecure and rob both of you of your personal space.
With all these relationship mistakes to avoid, trust us when we tell you that if you consciously work on these, your relationship will take a turn for the better. What’s even more significant is that, when you really adhere to these things not to do in a relationship – you are also creating a better version of you. Use this as a short and easy manual to love and life and you will be good to go!
Common long-term relationship problems are frankly abundant. They can start at miscommunications and misunderstandings and go all the way to constantly doubting your partner’s intentions, having low self esteem and using that to attack your partner and so on.
Long-term relationships fail as soon as the couples think it’s time to fold their arms and sit back and relax. Once the comfort sets in, a couple might start to get lazy or too satisfied and not indulge in the same kind of chase or effort anymore. Moreover, any kind of breach of trust, insecurity issues or anger issues can do the same.