When I met my future husband for the first time in college, I won’t say it was love at first sight. But there was definitely a strong connection between us. We spent a lot of time together, talking, sharing but never felt we wanted more than friendship. I had grown up on Bollywood movies and often fantasized about my Raj from DDLJ coming into my life and changing it completely. Two friends falling in love with each other without realising it is an age old Bollywood cliché and I re-lived it in real life. He went away to the US on work and only once we were apart we realised what we meant to each other. Distance did make our hearts grow fonder and we decided to get married.
Marriage feels more like a live-in relationship with us being equal partners in everything, be it doing the weekly groceries or setting up the house for a party. The ease with which we have accepted each other’s “not so good habits” makes life smooth. We have differences of opinion like any other married couple. But not taking our fights to bed has helped a long way in strengthening our relationship. We believe our relationship is more important than our individual egos and never fear saying “sorry” to each other irrespective of who is wrong.
Now, even after almost ten years of married life, we still cook together, have late night chat sessions, go on date nights, play games with our son, watch movies together, finish each other’s sentences, hold hands often and look lovingly at each other without the need to say the obvious.
A soul mate can mean different things to different people. For me, it has meant finding the “right” person who is always by my side. Someone who loves me when I deserve it the least for he knows that’s when I need it the most. Someone who shares my dreams and allows me to fly. Someone with whom I can be myself without being judged. Someone who still looks at me and remembers the first time he saw me. I don’t think this soul mate pre-existed. I rather think this soul mate is a fruit of labour- long years of nurturing our relationship, spending time understanding our weaknesses, working through our differences, respecting each other’s individuality yet presenting our combined strength as the face of our marriage.