I wish I could speak to you , I wish i could tell you the puniest things happening in my life, but … I have got my limitations, i am not your girlfriend, I am just a friend of yours and not more than that. I want. I really want to speak to you. Sometimes, when my mood is off, I feel like calling you up and tell you everything, sometimes, I want to tell you why I hate going to parties, sometimes, I want to tell you about the annoying passengers in the train, sometimes… everything… just like a stupid scoundrel… I would, I definitely would, but dear, you have made all the barriers , just because you made and I respect you, I will obey it with all the powers that I have. May be that is fate or may be not. May be that is an etiquette or may be not.
Yes, I have got feelings for you, but I , I won’t express it… I remember doing it once and you just ran away. That day, I came to know the feeling of losing you. Luckily, you came back, but now, I have gulped that thought away deep in my intestines and have promised myself to survive with that unrequited feeling. So, I silently love you and I will. I will see you and watch you over from the furthest view and make you comfortable when you feel uncomfortable, because now, I get you, may be the whole of you.
It’s not that when I see your girlfriend, I get jealous, of course, I don’t but yes, my butterflies stop when you are around her, when you hold her from back and make a solace to her, when I see you holding hands with her and when I coincidentally meet you with her in my favourite coffee shop.
It’s me with my untold feelings. I have got less friends in my life, with some untrusted impressions, but you have luckily got yourself into my trusted company. In spite of everything, when I feel like telling you some secrets of dark desire, I suppress myself, when I want to tell you some of my childhood insecurities, I eat a lot, in order to vanquish myself from calling you. Because, once I start blabbering out, I will speak with my heart and soul, thus, I will end up losing you. So, most of the times, I conclude with some unique loneliness and in this way, I get to talk to you and not lose you. When I see you in a bad mood I rush up to you and force you to talk to me, because I want you to be happy, and not see you with some forlorn faces.
After everything, you are just my unrequited love and at some point, it aches… it really aches a lot, but doesn’t matter as long as I have you, I will be doing everything just like any lover would , because after all your unrequitedness , I still love you and I adore you and I hope you understand that.Published in