You can’t ignore the suspicious change of behavior in your spouse if you have been together long enough. But neither can you say you are living with a cheating spouse solely on the dint of suspicion. If you have noticed signs your spouse is cheating, you should probably gather physical evidence to confront them. This is because a person who is determined to deceive you will never come clean by having open and honest discussions.
The usual warning signs of spouse cheating like coming home late, unaccounted spendings, investing more than usual time on personal grooming are some common ways to validate your suspicion, but it’s not enough to know for sure if it is true. Your cheating spouse might carry cheating guilt but they could still continue to hide their transgressions.
So it would be always up to you to look for the signs of cheating to understand if your spouse is having an extramarital affair. They could be going through some serious life-altering issues that they are not ready to share with you yet and trying on their own to cope with it.
No matter what, you can never know for sure if your spouse has cheated on you solely based on their change in activities and preferences. But if you want nothing but the truth, you need to look at the right places.
Related Reading: 22 Sure Signs Of A Cheating Girlfriend
How Common Is Cheating In Marriage?
If you are looking for the signs your spouse is cheating and feel that you are dealing with relationship infidelity then let us tell you that you are not an exception. We are aware that being suspicious of a spouse is extremely distressing but statistics show that more people have extramarital affairs than you can imagine.
According to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, national surveys indicate that 15 percent of married women and 25 percent of married men have had extramarital affairs. The incidence is about 20 percent higher when emotional and sexual relationships without intercourse are included. As more women began working outside the home, their chances of having an affair have increased accordingly.
Top 10 Signs Of A Cheating Spouse
If your spouse is having an extramarital affair or your spouse is hiding something the signs will be all there. All you have to do is observe keenly and you will know what’s cooking. You need to be a little more alert than usual and pick up on their stories and actions. How to tell if your spouse is cheating is really not that difficult if you just remain a little more alert than usual and monitor the things that they do and say.
Here are 10 signs your spouse is cheating that you need to keep a lookout for.
1. Every liar has loopholes in their stories
If you have been married for a considerable amount of time you are probably aware of your spouse’s mannerisms when they are telling the truth.
Even though it’s easy for you to assume that you already know this, don’t be so sure just yet. Ask them a few questions about things you already know the answer to and keenly observe their behavior when responding to your question. There are many signs of a lying spouse and as a partner, you will pick up on them easily.
Notice the hand and feet gesture, eye movement and tone of voice. Do this for a few days to get really good at reading him. If they are cheating they would look away when they answer. And if they are lying and hiding things from you there would be loopholes in the story.
2. A cheating spouse will dodge question
When you think you are ready to take the plunge, take note of your spouse’s most suspicious absent times and slowly introduce your questions without causing any concern to them. Take full control of your emotions and don’t press if your spouse tries to dodge the questions.
Bring them up when they are not expecting them and really observe how they react. They would always try to dodge your questions and turn the tide of the conversation.
Also, earlier if they loved to talk about their girls’ night out or boys’ time at the bar, they wouldn’t anymore. Because that’s not where they’re spending their time although that’s what they’ve been telling you. Ask a few questions around it and your suspicions will be confirmed.
Related Reading: 20 Myths And Facts About Cheating In A Marriage
3. Secretive about the phone
If you are looking for signs that your partner is cheating then just see how they behave around the phone. Some spouses become too secretive about their phones when cheating. They take calls away from you, they keep changing the passwords, their phone is busy at odd hours – but a skilled liar knows that these signs are obvious that your partner might be having an emotional affair.
So they adopt a completely opposite approach. If your partner is lying about cheating, then they could become extra-cool about their phone to not raise your suspicion. Either of these two behaviors can be among the potential signs your spouse is cheating on you.
4. They would be uninterested in sex
Similarly, a cheating partner turns cold about having sex with you over time or gets over-enthusiastic about experimenting in the bedroom because of the reawakened libido.
There are always two ways about it. Your cheating spouse would always complain of a headache or tiredness in bed so that there would not be any physical intimacy between the two of you. Gradually, they would make the lack of intimacy a given in your relationship.
The other way is they would want to keep experimenting in bed with new positions and new things. This is also one of the signs your spouse is cheating because chances are they are already doing these same things with someone else and applying them in your bedroom.
Related Reading: 18 signs your wife is cheating on you
5. They wouldn’t spend time with family
They also tend to ditch family time and time with the kids since they have to now manage their schedule for the secret affair. If you’re wondering how to tell if your spouse is cheating, simply pay attention to how involved they are in the family.
You will know your spouse is hiding something if they are perpetually unavailable even for the kids or couldn-t care less about family values. The Sunday swimming time or the Friday evenings spent with the children suddenly become busy work hours.
A cheating spouse will be constantly traveling for work, will work late at the office or will be busy with formal events and will have no qualms about neglecting the children.
6. They would be bringing home gifts
This is a classic sign of cheating guilt. They would not only surprise the partner with expensive gifts but they would also pamper the children with gifts and come home with goodies like pizzas and pastries often.
This is their way of making up for the lost time with their family and keeping everyone in good spirits. A part of them feels horrible about neglecting the family and these small gestures somehow clear their conscience. If your spouse is giving too many surprises be wary because it could be one of the silent signs your spouse is cheating.
7. Paying extra attention to their appearance
A makeover is common. Spouses going through a mid-life crisis and having an affair at the same time are the ones prone to a complete make-over more often.
Otherwise don’t be surprised if the lipstick becomes a bit darker, the dresses become bolder or the spouse spends more on expensive perfumes every month. Spending more time in front of the mirror is a classic sign of a cheating spouse.
Related Reading: Her SMS To Me Revealed My Husband’s Extra Marital Affair
8. They start picking fights
Fights are normal in a relationship but you will know your partner is cheating if they are picking up fights that they wouldn’t have earlier.
A cheating spouse has to balance two relationships and that’s when the irritation starts building up. So chances are you become the target of all their anger and frustration. So the fights become more frequent, they could become aggressive and even violent. This is a sure-shot sign that your spouse is having an extramarital affair.
9. A cheating spouse avoids family functions
This is one of the warning signs of spouse cheating that does not reveal itself too easily. Suddenly, they are not comfortable at family events and don’t want to bond with the in-laws or cousins. This is a sure sign that your spouse is hiding something and they are scared that the family would be able to spot the difference in the behavior.
Now that a new person has entered their lives, your spouse may not take the same interest or feel the same bond with the family anymore. If they are constantly avoiding family occasions and making excuses then you will know that your spouse is having an extramarital affair.
10. Lack of care and concern
Earlier your spouse would have taken an off from work if you were unwell. But now they just ask you to pop a pill and hurry to work. When you love a partner deeply, there are many ways to show them you care. If you have noticed a decline in the sweet things they do for you, this could be one of the warning signs of spouse cheating.
In any case, a liar establishes the lies based on their intellect and deceiving skills. There is no fits-all sign that can prove his/her infidelity unless your spouse makes a blunder to dry the dirty laundry out in the open. But sooner or later every lie does come out. You get to know soon enough once you pick up on the signs your spouse is cheating.
Because that relationship might not be fulfilling them. That is not an excuse but the main reason people cheat is because things are not enough for them anymore and they are seeking other kinds of pleasure.
You simply confront them. Be level headed but a little vulnerable to show them that what they did is wrong and regretful.