In the New age, where opportunity to meet the opposite sex is rising, the word ‘fidelity’ has started going out of fashion. The new ‘in’ word is ‘betrayal’. One wonder where we are heading. The demon of greed has destroyed the fulfilment in relationships.
‘Fidelity’ for me means giving sense of belonging and security to your partner by sharing the body and emotions only with him/her. It is very important to me because only then can one experience the bonding that gives the ultimate fulfilment in a relationship.
But when one reads and hears about Swinging couples, Open relationships and Polyamory community one wonders. What if your loved one decides to change her/his preferences?
In that case it would be easier to accept the indulgence if it is just for one time where he/she is not going to meet the person again. For the same reason some couples indulge in physical pleasure only when they travel abroad. But if it is a full blown affair or a fling at a physical or an emotional level that interferes in one’s daily life, then one’s sensibilities would revolt. This is because psychologically we humans are wired to wanting attention which when divided leads to several emotional problems. That is the reason; workshops are being conducted on ‘How to manage your emotions in open relationships and swinging activities’ in some parts of the world.
Also one’s self esteem is affected badly in such cases if there is no openness and communication between partners. But unfortunately most people prefer to lie . That is why rules of the Polyamory community [meaning ‘many’ from Greek πολύ poly, and ‘love’ from Latin amor) which is the practice of, or desire for, intimate relationships involving more than two people, with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved. This can save many from heart breaks caused by the sense of betrayal when one finds out about the partner’s affair. It can damage one’s trust for life and can end a relationship. In extreme cases it can even lead to gory crimes or nervous break-down which can take years of recovery .
That is why a clean and clear equation in relationship based on transparency and honesty is very important in today’s trying times.