“Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serving you; after marriage, he won’t even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.” When American journalist and humorist Helen Rowland said this, she did make a point. And yet, most of you, ladies, decide to take the plunge and more often than not, leave your families, jobs, cities (and sometimes countries) and even surnames, keeping your fingers crossed, hoping that you’ve found ‘the one’. The unfortunate souls who aren’t so lucky the first time, spend their whole lives moving from one relationship or marriage to another in their quest for ‘the one’. However, whether your husband is ‘the one’, or just another person to claim tax benefits with, here are the ten types of husbands you might encounter.
The 10 Different Types Of Husbands
Husbands come in all shapes and sizes there is no denying that. But temperamentally they also come in different kinds. That’s what we endeavour to do in this article we divide them into ten types of husband according to the temperament, mood swings and habits they exhibit most of the time. Check out which type of husband you have.
1. The couch potato
This fella believes in lounging around all day in his boxers with his feet up on a La-Z-Boy. He doesn’t believe in making plans for the weekend (or in life) because choosing what shows to watch on Netflix has already given him anxiety. Netflix without chill is how he rolls, and he is the reason that food ordering apps thrive.
2. The hustler
Diametrically opposite to the couch potato, this gentleman wears busy as a badge of honour and has little to no time for himself and his spouse.
Typically, a lawyer or a banker in an impeccable suit, he looks down upon lesser mortals with 9-5 jobs and believes in working 18 hours a day until, like Harvey Specter of Suits, he no longer needs to introduce himself.
3. The problem solver
Life, for this genius, is one big Rubik’s cube. In essence, his approach to everything from fixing a bulb to finding that hidden gem of a restaurant is to do it himself without asking for help (Did you just doubt his capabilities (*coughs* manliness)?) And yet, his wife continues to baffle and frustrate him.
Related Reading: 8 Things Every Husband Secretly Wants In Bed
4. The entitled nawab
This brat is typically found in the northern and western parts of the country and has been conditioned since birth, to believe that he’s God’s gift to womankind because of an extra appendage. The apple of his mother’s eye, he’ll ‘allow’ his wife to work as long as she can serve him a hot meal at the end of the day.
5. The skirt-chaser
Mr Don Juan has entered the chat – this kind believes, monogamy is for hen-pecked losers, and will continually embarrass himself and his wife, by behaving inappropriately with her friends, cousins, his friends and co-workers – essentially, any woman who catches his fancy. When caught cheating, the only remorse he’ll feel is at getting caught.
6. The baby
This poor boy is probably as lost as you are at starting a new life with you – because it entailed leaving his mama. He’ll rely on you for his very sustenance (just as an infant would), and will look at you with large doleful eyes if you’ve even asked him to get his food or put his wet towel away.
He’ll consult his folks for any decision, saying that adulting is not his thing. Once he’s fed and he’s found his toy (read, PlayStation/ Xbox), he’ll probably ignore you. This is a type of husband you will surely wish you never had.
7. The paranoid freak
This maniac is always insecure and is convinced that his wife is cheating on him. Always suspicious of what his wife is up to, he’ll keep tabs on her, track her phone, read her emails and messages looking for something – anything which shows him that she has a life of her own outside of their marriage, and will accuse her repeatedly to the point where she might feel tempted to do what she’s accused of. This control freak insecure husband is a type of husband who will keep you at tenterhooks and could become a bane for your mental health.
8. The nomad
Among the types of husband, we get to see all around us this one is easy to spot. This free spirit has probably gotten tied down at his family’s insistence because, in his head, he is (and will probably forever remain) a bachelor. He’ll plan solo and bachelor trips, often forgetting that he has a wife, and will insist on having mattresses on the floor instead of a bed, wearing dirty socks and underwear for days on end and ordering pizza instead of having a home-cooked meal because these remind him of the ‘good old days’.
9. The perfectionist
A polar opposite of the nomad, this obsessive-compulsive man will drive his wife nuts by micromanaging everything she does, never complimenting her ways or being satisfied with her cooking/ dressing/ mannerisms, and always comparing her with his mother, sister, ex-girlfriend or female co-workers. This kind often tends to remind his wife that she’s the one that got lucky with him. This type of husband is quite common, and we wonder how women put up with them.
10. The one with the grand gestures
This hopelessly romantic, with his poetry/ cooking/ lavish gifts/ meticulously planned surprises, will probably put Ted Mosby to shame. He truly adores you and will remind you of that every other day, sometimes, a little too much to make you feel sheepish and guilty at not doing enough. But that’
Whatever your situation is, try and remember that marriage is mostly about turning a blind eye to your partner’s faults and loving the imperfect oddball that he is, perfectly. When we say, ‘mostly’ though, we mean, love him, forgive him, embrace his faults, and do whatever you have to, to make it work, but not at the cost of loving and respecting yourself.