Vulnerable women

Vulnerable women

This is the story of my friend and colleague.

A young innocent girl, fresh out of college, beautiful inside and out, looking at the world with the eagerness of youth. She was 22 years old while I was 37,  and on the threshold of a new life. Bright -eyed, enthusiastic, full of life,she reminded me of myself those many years ago.

We were co- teachers in a primary school for 3 years. Soon,our regiment moved out of the small cantonment in Rajasthan  and I lost touch with her.But as they say, we were destined to meet again; and thanks to modern technology, FB reunited us after 16 years. Much waters had flowed in the intervening years.

I came to know that soon after I had left the school , she had got married to a boy of her parents’ choice. He was an engineer with a government job, well settled and from their community. Everything was going good.  They were much in love and it seemed like a rosy life ahead of them. But things never pan out as we want. Four months into the marriage, expecting her first child, she lost her young husband in an accident and was left alone to bring her son into this world, seven months after his death.<

Married at 25, widowed and a mother at 26, I cannot even begin to fathom what she must have gone through in these years, bringing up her son alone, managing a job, all on her own.

But this is not the story that I want to tell…..I want to talk about when we are alone in the adult world , with no partner/husband with us, how it makes us vulnerable to opportunistic males who are on the lookout for females like my friend.

 Some 5 years back , she met a guy from her office, though from a different department, who knew her circumstances and took full advantage of her situation. Giving her a sob story of his marriage from hell -an illiterate wife,a son who may not be his own, suspecting his wife of having an affair(it boggles my mind that how can a village woman whom he claimed to be very simple and uneducated , could be in an extra martial relationship) and how he was just not happy with her and wanted out .

He convinced my friend that she was the woman for him and he had filed for divorce and will marry her and adopt her son too. He even moved in with her and for all purposes they were like husband and wife except that he would go back to his first wife till the divorce happened. He cooked up a story of how the first wife was not giving him a divorce without taking half his property from him (which he had agreed to). My friend believed everything that he told her and waited patiently for his divorce to come through. By now, she had fallen in love with him and her son had also taken to him and saw him as a father he had never known.

But then,thank God, something snapped and she started questioning him about his intentions. Driven by her need to understand,she made enquiries at the local court  and was horrified to find out that no divorce had been filed by him in the last 5 years and no such case existed.Imagine what she must have gone through.

What makes us women prey to such guys ? Is it our need to find a husband or  our vulnerability as a single mother ? How come our antennas are not up and we can’t sight a lech and a villian like this guy? What blinds us from a danger like this , where we don’t even question his story, enquire about his antecedents and blindly believe whatever is told to us ? Why do we women need  a crutch of a man even in 21st century, when we have financial independence and education to lead our own lives?Is it because we still perceive that our life is incomplete without a man in our lives? I can very well understand the need to have a fulfilled relationship but what makes us so gullible that we get taken in by these kind of slimes ? Is it because we women lack something or is it because the world is full of such men? I am absolutely horrified  to know  that educated women even today are duped so easily and fall prey to depraved guys like this .


Readers Comments On “Vulnerable women”

  1. I think, to survive in this world woman should be bold enough to face any problem in life.I personally,believe that remarriage,intimacy or whatever is not only solution. Actually mindset matters and women should have the fighting ability. The term dependency….should not be given priority.

  2. Vaishali Chandorkar-Chitale

    Yes, this episode in her life has taught her the invaluable lesson of never trusting prima facie. Most guys are looking for a good time only and never hesitate in betraying his wife and also having a good time outside the marriage.

  3. Perhaps some of us are strong enough to brave the world and somw of us aren’t.

    But I hope that this episode must have given her strength to do what is right for her and her child. Good luck to her.

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