Counselling

I want to marry my ex who is not ready to commit

He is not telling me if her loves me or not, but I want to marry only him
lady talking on a phone

Question:

Dear ma’am,

I am going through a depression and want to get rid of it. I am trying hard but it’s difficult to get completely out of it.

I have been through a breakup but the issue is also my parents are forcing me to marry. I am not in a state to marry someone and start a new relationship because the guy (my ex) is still showing some interest in me. He himself is dicey but I really want to marry him. I do not want to look for other guys, but he is not ready to commit and he is not even telling me exactly whether he still loves me or not… What do I do ma’am? I am getting depressed.

Related reading: Unable to get over two-year-old breakup, sometimes I feel suicidal

Snigdha Mishra says:

Dear Young Girl,

I assume this sense of depression or sadness is because you’re in a dilemma. It seems that you’re the only one in a relationship and a fantasy one at that. Either you’re with a man or you’re not. You’re calling him your ex, but waiting for him to tell you what he wants. You’re telling me that you’ve had a breakup, but want to marry your ex. What’s with girls waiting upon on a man to decide for their own lives?

I understand that moving on after a breakup is saddening and it’s true that it takes a little while. So please allow yourself the time to grieve over the loss of a relationship. But also respect yourself enough not to hang on to a guy who doesn’t seem to commit to you. Also, feeling depressed doesn’t mean you’re getting into ‘depression’.

When bad things happen, it is normal to feel bad. You may be sad or dejected about your breakup and it’s perfectly fine. You can choose to let your parents know that you wish to be single for some time and not in a position to decide about marriage currently.

The information you’ve given is limited and I have no clue about the time lapsed since your breakup. I hope you can figure that you’re chasing a ghost in your ex and that waiting for him is futile. It’s important that you look out for yourself and see where and how you’re not prioritising yourself by letting an ex-boyfriend determine your future plans.

All the best!
Snigdha

How to get over the depression of breakup?

I’m 25 years old, unmarried and depressed


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