Humour

Watch out, women hate dating these kinds of men!

Don't miss these essential tips for dating for men from a woman who's on their side
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Dating tips for men from your biggest cheerleader

Hello to all you fabulous men reading this. I am so thankful for all of you, I really am. Our planet and our lives are so much better because of you. Your intelligence, your ingenuity, your courtesy, the list is endless.

By now you would have guessed that I love guys. I cheer for them, I understand them and I really can’t wait to have a man in my life. (If I am coming off as a despo, truth be told, I am doing it for heightened emotions.) In a nutshell I am so on your team, and this is why it troubles me when a good fellow doesn’t understand why has he been dumped by a lady who was into him not a long while ago.

Today I will give you a cheat sheet. I will tell you why many of you might have been doled out ‘that’ treatment by women. If you think that you belong even remotely to the following categories, you can understand what the problem may be.

Related reading: 25 dating tips for introverts

The Anti Hygiene Man

Hygiene is important to most of us, more so to the women. The point is, it is not enough that you shower every day. There are guys who don’t clip their nails and have dirt or worse, ‘boogers’ stuck there. The others have dirt at other places!

I once dated a fantastic guy, really witty and caring, but he had a dirt line at the back of the neck. I decided to ignore it at first, but even months after when it grew stronger, I bid adieu.

While not many women expect their men to be metrosexual, most of them want one to be clean.

Representative image Image source

The ‘I know everything’ guy

While knowledge and intelligence are likeable qualities, a ‘know-it-all’ is likely to fall from grace sooner or later.

I recently dated a guy from a pedigreed institution, with good looks and the gift of the gab.

By the end of the first date I got to know that he had daunting knowledge about the coffee brews, method of preparations and what not. On the second date I knew that he was better equipped than the director of the movie we were watching about camera angles and story-boards.

The third day enlightened me on how Mr E Sreedharan (India’s metro man) should have consulted the man I was dating on laying out the route, laying the beams and scheduling work on the underground line.

On the fourth date, just as I was biting into a cheesy, juicy, perfectly cooked pizza, I was enlightened on how pizzas in India suck and why should one go to Sicily to enjoy a pizza slice. Not only that, by the end of the date I had lessons on my car’s registration plate and why my spectacles could lead to nerve issues.

I said my goodbyes before he went on to give me lessons on breathing. You get the drift…right?

The ‘Lover Boy’

A while back, I met a fantastic guy at a friend’s place. He followed me on social media and soon we were exchanging messages. I was enchanted. He was quite a catch and my heart fluttered when he said ‘Juhi’, but just in a couple of hours he went from addressing me as ‘Juhi’ to ‘Love’ and sending hearts and what not. Now I really have a high opinion of myself, but come on, I am not that naive to fall for ‘Love’ and ‘heart eyes’ in a few hours.

So guys, if you are really interested in a girl, please, please don’t come on too strongly.

hopeless romantic
Image source

Related reading: 7 bad dating habits you need to break right now

The ‘Nose Picker’

Nope, I am not making this up. It is a true story. So true that I can give the co-ordinates and even the scanned copy of the bill to prove the point.

I met the guy at a book club. He was sweet, responsive and a good listener. Every bit a gentleman. On top of it he was working with the UN (my dream organisation) and was visiting his parents in India. We bonded over the books we both were reading at the time, international bureaucracy and how he babysits his friend’s daughter once a week.

I had to pinch myself to make sure that I was not dreaming when he subtly hinted that a long-distance relationship is worth it with the right person.

We decided to meet for a proper dinner date the next night. He was considerate enough to pick a place close to my house so I didn’t have to drive much after a long working day.

The date started off nicely, and we soon placed our orders. Right then, when I was talking about my vacation plans, I saw his right index finger reach out to his nose and do the unthinkable. I decided to ignore it, but it happened again, I decided to ignore it again but it happened yet again. I just couldn’t control it any more. The next time he was about to reach for ‘it’ I interjected, “don’t prick your nose”, I tried to say as nicely as possible.

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Don’t leave a bad aftertaste

The food came, the poor guy tried striking up and sustaining the conversation but my interest was all lost. I felt a wee bit guilty and as a way to atone myself I footed the bill, but the dinner left a bad aftertaste in my mind and mouth.

The lesson, clean your boogie before the date. If you must do it during the date, then excuse yourself and head to a restroom. Never under any circumstance think that the person in front of you will feel the same sense of achievement as you do when you pick your nose. Trust me, women are not that empathetic yet!

I hope sharing my experiences will be helpful. Men and women are not that different; so next time when you send out feelers to a girl, put yourself in her position for a second and then act. Cheerio.

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