Married Life

We’re having a baby

How my intimate involvement in the 9 months of my wife’s pregnancy laid the foundations of a deep-spiritual relationship with my daughter

The day after my wife and I finished celebrating the news of her pregnancy, I cancelled all future business trips that I had planned for the next 12 months. My mind was blank to any other thought except to spend every waking moment with my wife and my precious on-the-way baby and I wanted to revel in and cherish every experience that goes with the pregnancy period, as well as the immediate months following the delivery.

And what a joyous and fulfilling decision that turned out to be. From every sonography that my wife had to undergo, to every single meeting with her gynaecologist. From planning the room for my incoming princess (I somehow had never any doubt in my mind that the child would be a girl) to even shopping for her clothes, it was one of the best periods of not only our marriage but also of my entire life.

As parents, we paid acute attention to the development of the physical health as well as psychological well-being of our child. Even the minuscule amount of non-veg that we ever ate went out of the window, fried foods were out and so were junk foods, spicy foods, and whatever else is considered to be unhealthy or tamasic.

For the psychological health of the baby, violent action films were phased out of our lives. The music that played throughout the day were Vedic chants, hymns and soulful instrumental renditions.

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And of course there were prenatal yoga sessions with the beautiful Anugraha Unnikrishnan. We religiously attended every single one.

The only reason why I have shared all of the above is to iterate the preciousness of the pregnancy period and how we have it in our power to convert those months into an opportunity to not only strengthen our bonds with our spouses but also create a spiritual bond with our child, because from the third month onwards, the child hears, feels and some even say, sees everything. Whatever you do, see, hear, feel, the child feels also.

As parents, a lot of us have a warped notion of the importance of creating wealth, legacies or large empires for our children. I feel it is more important to create a solid foundation in the formative years of the child, so that the child grows to be healthy, happy and has the mental tensility to be able to weather the ups and downs that this life has to offer.

In reality, what our child needs from us is our time, love and affection. Any child who is showered with material wealth devoid of love grows up to be an unhappy human being. If we were really to wish to do something of value for our children, all we need to do is to nourish them in their formative years.

When I hear about Saif Ali Khan Pataudi having the same dedication, love and tenderness towards Kareena and spending time with her and treating pregnancy as an important, formative and nourishing experience, I feel that there is hope for this world.

Hope, because children borne out of such compassion, spirituality and wisdom are seldom anything but angels who will invariably grow up and spread love, warmth and happiness in a sanity-deprived world.

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