The above statement is coming from a woman who has faced her fair share of insecurities and worries.
Experienced and now learning to deal with the repercussions, I witnessed how much an average looking girl like myself has to undergo when dating an incredibly attractive man. Heads turn around and girls give me nasty judgmental looks.
My partner thoroughly enjoys the attention but he also tries to make me believe the opposite. Isn’t he sweet? But “saach karwa hota hain”.
I wasn’t spared even on my engagement day when a relative approached me to comment on what a lucky girl I was to have met my good looking fiance. And this was possibly the umpteenth time that people were going ga-ga over my fiance. So it was starting to get uncomfortable for me. Back then I was naive at reacting to such situations, so I stood there smiling foolishly while the pale color on my face clearly showed my displeasure. Sensing my awkward expressions, my aunt came to my rescue. “Our baby girl is no less!” she retorted. The man left offering me a pity smile. I was all decked up trying to fit into this new avatar of a bride to be but I all got was a “YOUR FIANCE COULD HAVE DONE BETTER” look.
I am definitely floored by the fact that the love of my life is a dreamy man. It is good to hear all the good things circling around him. But my insecurities began when I gave into the common public myth that maybe he is out of my league. I have got a well functioning brain and bit of a pleasant smile to contradict my otherwise boiled squash face. However, that isn’t enough for people to assume that I was in par with my fiance.
All these finally, led to many differences in my relationship with him. I was growing into this horribly possessive and nosy girlfriend.I was trying to keep tabs on all of his social media activities. Here, I would blatantly admit that I even went on to the verge of believing that he is going to cheat on me someday. I just couldn’t put my mind at ease. My self-confidence was diminishing. I was prying on his female colleagues. I lost my faith in him. All these because I was convinced of the idea that I was not enough for him.
Over time our relationship reached a rocky phase.That’s when I decided to confront my fears instead of hiding behind a harmful investigative mind. Once I poured out my heart to him, I felt a sudden upliftment of my lost spirit. He made me realize how idiotic were my thoughts. All my issues were solely based on a few admirers of his.
All I had to do was trust our love for each other. Instead of embracing my partner’s obvious fame I was just letting myself feel deranged and covetous. Moreover, he made me rethink if I wanted a man to define my existence? No, definitely not! We are women endowed with amazing qualities and we have more than enough chances to prove our self worth.
Perfection never goes unnoticed! What can I possibly do to shun away my fiance from all his admirers? Lock him away in a secret dungeon or make him go bald (pun intended). It was all in my head. A devil’s workshop was under construction inside my brain and that’s why I was becoming into a control freak, obsessive and crazy woman.
With every passing day, I am now in a much better place. I don’t care if people still bother me with all sorts of questions regarding my fiance’s good looks or those random girls ,aspiring to date him. He is a great person! It is only normal to admire beautiful people. Human nature!
I am just soaking in these moments of people glorifying my partner because whatever be it, in this lifetime he is already mine. And maybe I am not so average as I think myself to be because a person that good looking pursued me for months before I said yes. So the ball is in my court, I guess! *WINKS*