Break-up & Loss

When my body betrayed me, she saved me by leaving me

Dr Deepak Bindra writes about the woman he loved, and why she left him when his body parts failed, in this entry for the Bonobology 'You got my back' contest
Gift in Hand

Thank you, Nikita…

It has been five years since we fell in love and, looking back, it wasn’t just love, it was a whole lot of love. But things don’t remain the same forever. Change is the only constant, they say. Change is good if it happens for the good. Our relationship also changed, but not for the good. It changed for the worst.

It all started when I was diagnosed with kidney failure. Nikita stopped calling me from that day onwards. She couldn’t even be bothered to visit me. I tried to contact her, but her cell could not be reached. Whatsapp messages weren’t being delivered; maybe she had blocked my number. Where the hell did I go wrong, I wondered.

My hopes for staying alive were already on their death-bed as I could not find a donor. What could be worse than your beloved leaving you in the middle of such a thunderstorm? Not even in the weirdest of dreams could I have imagined this. She used to say that all she wants is to be happy and she could go to any extent to achieve it. Maybe she did the right thing, as she couldn’t possibly have been happy with an ailing person.

Related reading: Love Overcomes any Handicap

I was counting the days to my date with death when, suddenly and unexpectedly, I got a donor. The transplant was scheduled. I tried to get in touch with Nikita to give her the good news, but to no avail. She just wasn’t there for me. The one who had promised to be by my side through thick and thin, to share my joys and sorrows, had decided to leave at a time when I needed her the most. She had left me because she couldn’t find happiness with me. May she never find the happiness that she ditched me for.

man in hospital
(representative image) Image Source

I was advised bed rest for three months but thanks to my love for her (which had now turned to hatred and anger) I was out of bed within a week. I wanted to meet her one last time, to confront her for the reason for her betrayal and to show her that I could live happily without her.

I rushed to her house and was shocked to see that she was bedridden! Her mother told me why. I was stunned. It was she who had donated her kidney for my surgery. It was she who had fought her entire family to save my life. Despite the fact that her health did not permit it, she had risked her life to save mine. She even got our families to promise not to disclose this to me until I was completely fit.

breakup and loss

When I asked her why, she smiled and said, “Remember? I told you… I can go to any extent for my happiness and you make me happy. So, I did the little I could for you.”

Her answer left me in tears. I had been a fool to doubt her intentions and her love for me. Her love… so pure, so true. I cannot forgive myself for all the things that I thought of her. What I can do is give her immense love and happiness… till the end of time and even beyond. I will give her the best possible life in the world.

May God bless our endless love…

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