When relationships are no more about ‘We’


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There was a time when relationships were valued so much so that they were over- prioritised most of the times. However, things seemed to have changed. They are taken for granted so much that relationships have lost its substance. It is more about ‘I’ or ‘Me’ than ‘We’.  It has become truly transient and momentary. If I expect my partner to reciprocate the same amount of love, am I being selfish or harsh? If I have some expectations, be it monetary, materialistic or emotional, am I being just too much? If I  make sure that I meet his desires, shouldn’t he respond similarly to ensure I stay satisfied or should I relate to the age-old tradition of male chauvinist society and that we women must succumb to them? No, I am not speaking about feminism or gender equality. These are for intellectuals to debate and perhaps arrive at a solution.

Perhaps, gender equality has its role to play in every sphere of relationships. So perplexed that I don’t know what to do. I feel trapped at times and then going through quotes on my news feed is another dilemma. Forget and forgive are two fancy terms that I wish I could adopt but I really can’t.  It is owing to the forgiveness and ignoring mistakes that the concept of relationship is getting washed away. If I can prioritise him, ensure I make up to him, inadvertently arrange things for him, reach out to him when needed, making sure that the relationship does not lose the spark, isn’t it his duty as well? Can he blame me for every wrongdoing by claiming our love to be selfish and not selfless?  Shouldn’t he reach out to me and make efforts to restore the lost belief in the relationship. The matter of the fact is, if he does it, he terms it as ”too many expectations”. I am not expecting a Bentley or Gucci per say but basic emotional support when I need and definitely not to those who feature on the friends’ list is all I ask.

Maybe I give him too much importance! Maybe I should respect the opinions of others and not turn a blind- eye to him as I have been doing so far. His thought makes me anxious, gives me butterflies compelling me to spend the rest of the life with him but the question is – does he feel the same? Can he spare all of his time for me? Can he forget his friends for me? Can he vouch for these claims and strongly be a part of my life. The crestfallen truth is loving someone deeply has the power to make you forget these woes but at times they creep up just to disrupt your peace of mind.


Readers Comments On “When relationships are no more about ‘We’”

  1. Very touching….each and every words written r true. Both the parties should take effort to make a good relationship. I too was going through my facebook pages which is filled with buddhist quotes….like.” 4give and 4get…not bcos they deserve it but u deserve peace”. But its very difficult to apply it in real life ..especially when v have 2 face rejection… from the most loved ones.

  2. Shobha Mahapatra

    The dynamics of relationships are changing drastically, and I must say, it is scary. Gives me all the more reason to hold on to it more and give priority to my own set of relationships.

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