Struggles and Scars

When the girl broke up with him, he posted all their sex videos online

She broke up with him and he posted their sex videos online.
Sex video recording of girlfriend

(As told to Akshata Ram)

Abhimanyu was my colleague at work. Abhi was smitten by me since the first day though I wasn’t too keen, as I wanted to focus on my career but he kept pursuing me and I finally relented.

For our eyes only

The very first time I discovered that he was stealthily recording our lovemaking sessions, I almost freaked out and threatened to break up with him. He convinced me that this was only for both of us to watch and bring back to life those sensuous magical moments we had created. Slowly I shed my inhibitions and over time became less conscious of the camera. Whenever we had an ugly fight, we would simply watch these videos and melt into each other’s arms.

However, things were changing and I wasn’t happy. He had started becoming too possessive and would get irritated on small things: if I didn’t take his call or spent time with my girlfriends or family. Of late I had been busy, a new project was coming our way and it meant a year’s overseas assignment. I was working hard to bag that role.

A dream came true

Finally my dream came true. We bagged the project and I was among the chosen few to represent the company for a year in Ireland. While I was beside myself with joy, the thought of conveying this to Abhi scared me. I had to spill the beans and decided it was best to do it at his place, to avoid a scene. After our usual lovemaking session, which had now become tedious, I told him calmly about the project. All hell broke loose and he demanded I immediately withdraw my acceptance. Whether due to the extra wine or the resentment that had built up in my heart over time having to put up with a demanding partner, I refused flatly. And the unthinkable happened. He slapped me. I was too stunned, and stormed out of the house tearfully.

Related reading: Why I broke up with my verbally abusive boyfriend

Two days later I broke up with him.

distressed woman
(representative image) Image Source

Hell broke loose

The next day I woke up with a heavy head. I reached for my phone and was surprised to see 30 missed calls, most from unknown numbers and a few from my close friends. There were also many messages. Before I could comprehend what was happening, the phone buzzed. It was an unknown number. I picked up and the man at the other end said, “So how much do you charge? Do you do threesomes? We have an outstation event and need your services, everything from stay to travel will be arranged, not to worry. Just make sure you satiate our hunger. We will need some exotic stuff not the usual dal chawal that we get at home. Hahahah!” He guffawed. I was so stunned that I couldn’t respond and I simply threw away my phone.

Mother came in with a worried look, my best friend Natasha was on the line and I shakily took the receiver. “Abhi has leaked all your video clips, it’s all over social media. He has also logged into your FB account and posted your nude pic and your number with a tag line ‘Call Girl’.”

I was shell-shocked. Logging into my account I let out a scream. I couldn’t believe my eyes. I ran to the bathroom and locked myself in.

Natasha arrived a few minutes later and pleaded with me to open the door. “What has happened cannot be undone, we have to prevent further damage. Unlock the door. We have to first lock your FB and other accounts and report this to the police. Your parents are here, they know you made a mistake but they love you and are with you.”

Mrunalini Deshmukh, celebrity lawyer, says:

Mrunalini DeshmukhLegal recourse available to a woman whose ex boyfriend has released their intimate videos or pictures:

The girl must not get demoralised in case of such an event. She must immediately file a complaint with the police. Sharing personal moments on social media by an ex, amounts to outraging the modesty of a woman. Threatening to do so amounts to blackmail. And actually releasing the videos for publicly defaming her with motives of revenge or to humiliate her are serious crimes as well. She must file her complaint in detail.

Second, she must register her complaint with the cyber crime cell and attach with it, a copy of the F.I.R. that she had lodged with the police.

She must not lose hope. The authorities will definitely bring the harassment to an end.

Legal recourse

The next step was lodging an FIR. I had to go through a lot of humiliation where the lady inspector questioned how gullible could I be – sleeping with a guy and making videos and then sharing my passwords. The videos were all over the place and people were having a gala time. My parents were getting calls from frantic relatives and friends. The police said that they cannot guarantee that the content will be removed from all sites but they will try their level best.

Related reading: These 7 mistakes kept me out of a relationship. And out of trouble

Abhi was arrested but later let out on bail. The case is still going on. Luckily my office colleagues and seniors were supportive and stood by me, they encouraged me to come back to work. I couldn’t bear to enter those premises where I had lost my respect and resigned in 1 month. While the police managed to delete the content on many sites, it still existed on a few. People forgot all about this in a few days but it took years for me to come out of the mental agony and live a normal life. I had lost trust in people and was always looking around fearfully for hidden cameras.

What happened when her husband caught us sexting

He wants pictures while sexting, but I don’t trust him. Please advise.

Published in Struggles and Scars

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2 Comments

  1. This is just like those acid attacks! Am happy the girl bounced back and hope the guy is punished apropriately!

    I once lost my phone which had a pic or two of my then girl friend and myself (nothing major – but still)- I was shit worried. Thankfully I had my office email set up and the IT guys had installed a client which enabled them to wipe out everything on my phone remotely. At that moment I didn’t care less about the other data.

    This story was of a malicious act – but we all should be careful in what digital history we retain of intimate times and how safe we keep it.

    Best,
    Kritagya Daarshanik (Haywire Chronology)

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