On most days, my husband drives me crazy. And there’s absolutely no getting around it. From his nature to his habits even to his facial reactions – everything about him is driving me nuts. When we got married, I didn’t think that things would turn sour in this way. I had never expected him to leave his socks all over the house like that. But he does, and he does it a lot.
My Husband Is Literally Driving Me Insane
“See you in the evening!”
“Bye! See ya later”
10-15 seconds later….
That would be the L&M to pick up something or the other he’s forgotten. Some days, he’d make several trips back. It got so bad that if he didn’t come back at least once, I would fret about him having forgotten something important and call him at work to check.
It was driving me nuts to keep opening the door, as I myself would be rushed off my feet in the mornings. I tried making a list of things he needed to take and pasting it on the door; I asked him if he had everything when he left; I shouted and screamed every time he came back. Alas! Nothing worked. My husband drives me crazy and there’s nobody coming to my rescue. And people wonder why I’m such a crazy wife all the time.
I couldn’t honestly accuse him of forgetfulness or carelessness, for he was very careful about stuff and usually remembered important things, though his awful memory when it comes to names is a legend for those who know him in real and virtual life.
Cut to the present: I simply leave the door ajar for a while to facilitate his popping in and out. Having a spare key also helps, except that some days it is left in the keyhole, necessitating another trip. And yes, the habit continues till date, only I have learned to live with it.
And then, he has this habit of taking bites out of my food after he finishes eating his share. When we went to restaurants in the early days of our marriage, it did feel romantic and adorable. I felt gleeful like I was on a first date. But that only lasted for a while – before beginning to get on my nerves.
Soon, I realized it’s driving me nuts and I did not want to have it anymore. I would make a face and ask him to order something else for himself. Even as he said that he was full, he reached for my plate. He still does it – at home or wherever we happen to be eating. It almost happens like clockwork. Small and big irritants, quirks and habits; I won’t lie – I have felt like running away many times because my husband drives me crazy.
Related Reading: 11 Relationship Arguments That Spell Doom For Your Bond
Marriage Changes Things
In the days when the couple didn’t get to know each other before they married, such traits used to sometimes come as a shock after marriage. Even today, couples who know each other well before they settle down find their habits suddenly grating after the initial period of euphoric togetherness when everything seemed cute. Because it’s true that things change after marriage and you start learning a whole new side of your life partner.
Have you noticed how, as a couple grows older, each begins not only being protective of the other but also indulgent and tolerant of the very habits that had earlier infuriated or driven them nuts? That doesn’t stop them from cribbing about each other though and throwing the occasional, “You are driving me nuts.”
But don’t be fooled by it all. Chances are you will get an earful if you voice your own criticism. This includes the children too who have to silently listen to the rants of their parents. They are a solid unit, so beware!
So what has changed? The most important factor, at least for me, is the realization that no one is perfect. Don’t they say that when we point one finger at the other person, four fingers point to ourselves? And if I think I am being magnanimous in putting with him, I am sure he deserves an award for putting up with me. Though we have each tried our best to change the other to our own standard of ‘perfection’, we have made a lot of small and big compromises and learnt to be more tolerant.
Finding middle ground even though my husband drives me crazy
In a quite contrary way, predictability of temperaments in a relationship – even if at times disagreeable – offers comfort. Give me my predictable if infuriating L&M any day to some paragon of virtue who behaves perfectly in every situation and spooks me out. Does that mean that we have happily accepted the other, kinks, quirks et al? No way! We have only found ways to skirt them, just as we would go around a familiar pothole on the road we commute daily on. Why, I can even smile at some of his infuriating traits and habits!
It takes time to iron out kinks, correct missteps and find one’s rhythm by ignoring the annoying things people do, in a relationship between husband and wife – that is if the partners stick together long enough. Often though, the partners give up in frustration. More’s the pity, because often it is just the minor irritants and character traits that have a way of getting blown out of proportion with some help from an offended ego!
I’m sure you want to know what I do when he reaches for my pop tart. I just offer him a choice piece as soon as he finishes eating his – before he reaches for my plate. It makes for happy sharing, wouldn’t you say?