Why do we return to our abusive partners?

Even after the most traumatic turn in their partnership, victims of abusive marriages and relationships often return to their aggressive partners. This happens mainly because after going through an extended period of abuse in the relationship, the violence becomes normal to the victims. This feeling stems from the low-esteem brought upon us because of the abuse, where we stop believing in our own capabilities and strengths. Alternatively, we live in a society that ingrains a false and harmful belief system in us that our love can ‘cure’ our abusive partner. Even when we try to get out of it, we feel the fear that if we leave our partner, albeit abusive, society will reject us.

We also tend to stay in an abusive relationship to avoid facing failure in the relationship after giving everything to it.

In some rare cases, we get so used to the predictability of abuse in the relationship that we secretly start enjoying it.

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