It’s not easy to stay married to a man you know has cheated on you. I don’t like using that word because I believe it is not natural for a person to live the rest of their life with just one person. People will step out of their marriages in one way or another. They either flirt quite ‘harmlessly’ or have sex without strings attached or have a deeply-satisfying emotional affair or have deep friendships but won’t commit physically. All of this counts as cheating, but it is also natural human behaviour. So then why do I call it cheating? Because when you get married, you enter a bond that says you will be there for each other in every way. And you are breaking that bond if you are giving yourself emotionally to someone else. You are taking time away from the person you are married to if you are giving yourself physically to someone else.
Now let me tell you why I chose to forgive my husband even after I found out that he was having an affair with someone. There are two reasons and both are simple. The first is that we have built a life together that I don’t want to undo. He treats me with respect and the affair is never rubbed in my face. He takes care of our kids as much as he can and spends enough time with them. It’s only him and I that don’t get time together but I understand that now. When I didn’t know about his affair, I used to fight with him to do things together, but now I don’t. When I first discovered his affair and created trouble, he was the most unhappy that I had ever seen him. But when I gave up struggling with him, and let him be, he became calmer and happier. And that is the best thing for the home and our family. He is agreeable, helpful, responsible and kind. What more can I ask for?