Love is a wonderful feeling. And when you have experienced it in varied forms, it is all the more beautiful. Born into a family with a stable financial background and wonderful social repute, I had a happy life. An only daughter and someone who was allowed to have freedom and an opinion, I was considered lucky among my peers. With time, I chose my own career and my own partner and without a glitch we managed to get hitched amid all the pomp possible.
Until the time I got married, my parents were the world to me. From the best clubs to the best labels, my parents introduced me to everything I could possibly think of needing.
However, after my marriage, my parents are a little bit away from my present world. We have regular calls, mostly in seconds and minutes, and weekly calls that stretch around half an hour. We meet once a month or sometimes twice thanks to my home being an hour’s drive away. I’m still responsible for my dad’s investment plans, my mom’s check-ups and opining on every new showpiece my mom buys. Has marriage made me less concerned? Well, no.
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It’s not a crime
The only thing that has changed is I am more at ease now. Marriage doesn’t make me miss my parents. Marriage has given me much more confidence that they can be independent and on their own. It is no crime that marriage has made me more relaxed, that I have a hubby who can take responsibility of my parents even if I am away for a conference. I think no daughter who is an only child should feel burdened with parents. We should not even miss them in the context of feeling that they are alone now.
We must have the courage to let them be on their own and yet offer a permanent source of support for them without any conditions.
I am so busy with my work life and my new life at home that I barely get time to gossip with Mamma. But then again, is that not a healthy sign, that I have nothing to really gossip about? If I had a hubby I was not satisfied with or in-laws I was disgruntled about, I would have spent hours cribbing with my Mamma.
Life did not throw poor cards my way and whatever I got in the gamble, I made a trump card of. I do not miss my parents because I am happy about how well settled they are. I do not miss my parents because I am happy how busy I am with my new life. And I do not miss my parents because I know my hubby supports me to the point that he can drive me down to my parents’ home even at the midnight hour.
Marriage means gaining a second home
Women in India worry too much over transitions and compromises. I do not. I feel my parents and my in-laws are in tune with me. It is only my perception that could make me miss someone or not.
Marriage has been a blessing for me and I feel that not many women try to understand that it is not about leaving your home to make your hubby’s your own. Marriage is about being secure that you already have a home and parents who need no proof of your dedication. The second home we go into is just a medium to secure with our love and values. Taking marriage with this understanding has made me more liberal and happier. I simply love my parents for instilling such values in me. I love you Mamma and Bauji, but I seriously do NOT miss you, since I know you are always there for me. You can never go missing from my mind.