My wife has lost her libido during pregnancy

Pregnant wife with husband

Dear Ma’am,

My wife is eight months pregnant and is losing interest in sex. Now she wants to go to her mother’s place. is it because she is bored of our sex techniques?

Second question: Is it safe to have intercourse at this stage of pregnancy? What about oral sex?

Dr. Sharmila Majumdar says:


The big changes in your wife’s body are bound to alter your sex life. Some women are just too tired or feel too nauseous to make love, especially in the first trimester.

The hormones that a pregnant ladies body produces during pregnancy are thought to be one reason for loss of libido.

The state of mind is another factor. If your wife feel positive about her pregnancy and the changes that her body is undergoing, she is likely to feel more sexual. But if she is not particularly happy about the pregnancy or feels insecure about growing tummy or other issues, this can have a negative effect.

Sex drive often wanes in the third trimester as birth, labour and her belly loom large. Many mums-to-be simply feel unattractive.

At any stage of pregnancy, though, there are wide variations in how women feel and how sexually active couples are. What’s normal for one person won’t necessarily be the same for you.

Coming to your next question, whether it’s safe to have sex at this stage of pregnancy, I would say if your wife has a history of cervical weakness, a low lying placenta or bleeding, abdominal cramps, or broken water, please check with your doctor first. Otherwise you can have sex even till the ninth month – only if everything is normal.

Most important right now is your wife’s desire to have sex or not. As she is carrying and a mother to be, she may have many concerns and fears, hence maybe she’s uncomfortable. So she should be taken seriously.

About oral sex yes, normal oral sex won’t harm you or your baby. In fact, it can be a good solution if intercourse is deemed too risky.

The only thing you must avoid is you blowing air into her vagina. Blowing air can cause a blockage of a blood vessel by an air bubble (known as an air embolism). An embolism can be potentially fatal for your wife and her baby.

It’s safer if you sticks to kissing and licking her clitoris and labia (the lips around your vagina) rather than placing your tongue inside her vagina.

All the best to both of you and I hope you have a healthy baby and a happy family life.

Dr Sharmila

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Readers Comments On “My wife has lost her libido during pregnancy”

  1. Vasudha Tripathi

    I think the man needs to be patient enough during the pregnancy period of his woman. It is a very tiring activity for her and that is the most probable reason for her low libido.

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