Question:
My wife is under tremendous stress as she suspects me of having sexual relations with all the ladies I come across. She also levels numerous irrelevant allegations. I am a responsible officer with the Govt. of India. She feels as if I go to the office and full day am busy chatting with women.
Moreover, she feels that I am spending my money on several women. She never tries to discuss the issue. I tried several times to understand the actual reason which disturbs her but she keeps mum. I even initiated steps to consult some psychiatrist but after a visit or two she refused to continue, alleging that she is perfectly alright and if I want I may continue the treatment. We have two sons both are in job and are of marriageable age. I remain under different pressure to avoid any scene which might get created. I have stopped socializing.
Kindly advise whether some treatment is possible without her support.
Avani Tiwari says:
Hi
I understand the pressure you are experiencing to save all. But sometimes you’ll have to prioritise your issues and let go of a few things specially when the situation is less than ideal.
You’ll have to sit with your wife and discuss your relationship. Try to convince her that you are more than willing to give this relationship a fresh start and she should do the same because it’s a two-way street. Tell her your willing to get professional help for both of you, individually and together.
The next step would be to involve your sons. They are adults and a part of family and they can contribute positively. She’s more likely to yield to their entreaties.
If all these don’t work you may need to approach a psychiatrist in person to work out your options. You have to realise that a treatment, whether psychotherapy or medicines, can only be given to her after evaluation in person if she’s willing. If not you will have to take recourse to the law for this situation.
All the best,
Dr. Avani Tiwari
