If you feel lucky that you are the first one to embark on marriage among your friends, then you must also brace yourself for a lot of pressure from your peers. Those who say marriage changes nothing are lying to you. It not only changes your relationship status from single to married, but it affects every aspect of life. You move in with someone else, you change your routine, you start a new life. Bet on it that your friends will be the first to notice and point out every change you make. But you can trust them to be your loyal support system while you are going through this transition. So don’t give up on the old relationships for the new one; move forward with your life in grace. If you are the first bride among your friends then enjoy the journey with them by your side.
You Will Relate To This If You Are The First Bride Among Your Friends
Vinita Paul says told us, “I was the first one to get married in my friend’s group. My conservative parents thought I had to get married at 21 to a stark stranger in an arranged match. While I was dying of nervousness thinking of how my life would unfold, for my friends they had the first bride in the girl gang and they were thoroughly excited and had an absolute blast at my wedding.”
But Vinita had not quite braced herself for a few realisations that being the first bride in the group would bring to her. As such she didn’t know what to expect from her marriage after the wedding but neither did she think that being the first one to get married among her friends would make her friends react like this. What did they do? Here’s the list…
Related Reading: 7 things a girl should do with her bestie before getting married
1. Moaning bridesmaid
Being the first bride among your friends as soon as you announce your marriage, your friends will start their celebrations. On the day of your wedding you will definitely hear some wailing and moaning from your bridesmaid on the lines of the popular song, “Tera hua abh mera kaya hoga?” Your marriage will make them think about their relationships and life choices. Some will wonder when or whether they will ever get married. You can even expect some healthy jealousy and complaints from your peers. They will compare your fiancé with their partner and evaluate their life. Don’t bother about that, at the end of the day they are happy for you, though you will have definite moments of doubt about it. The best option is to give them something to do in the ceremony; that’ll keep their mind off things.
Related reading: 10 annoying things that I learnt about while planning my own wedding
2. Information desk
Once you are the first one who is married among your friends, you become the source for information for the rest of your friends. Be it the location for the wedding or the perfect honeymoon spot, you have become the authority on those details. Enjoy it while you can, as the rest of them are going to join your ranks soon. From how to budget a wedding to what to buy for the trousseu to what works better an arranged marriage or a love marriage, being the first bride in your group you will be expected to be the expert in everything. If they believe you are one, don’t disappoint them.
3. Be ready for the intimate questions
They could ask you anything and everything about intimacy. If you are the first bride in your friend’s group you could have to give answers to questions like what lingerie you packed on your honeymoon, if you thought your man was a virgin and what was the first night like?
Be ready to field questions on married sex and like how many times you made out, and what was it like waking up together with a man everyday?
You should be ready to answer the questions with a stoic face no matter how many intimate details they wanted to know.
4. Girls’ night out
After marriage your priorities change. So you keep cancelling or delaying appointments with friends. But trust me when I say that it won’t be taken in good spirit by your friends, then hear me out. They will not understand your predicament unless they go through the same thing. In life, those who matter never mind and those who mind never matter. Remember that and choose wisely.
So in the first year of marriage you might have to forget the night out with the girls but as you settle down in your marriage you could resume those gradually.
5. Safe space
After marriage you are definitely considered an adult by your friends. So whenever they are in trouble, they will think of you for comfort. Your home would become a parent-free safe space for them and you should be prepared for some unwanted guests from time to time.
Related reading: 7 reasons to have your own friend circle distinct from your spouse
6. Best bachelorette night
You will receive the best bachelorette party. All other bachelorette parties that will come after yours will always be compared but never surpass yours. That is because in your party it will be a bunch of single people having the time of their life since you are their first friend to get married. But all others bachelorette parties would include married people with responsibilities, refusing to sip vodka into the wee hours.
7. Matrimony association
If you are married first among your friends, you become someone who has joined the club of elites. Your friends who look up to you and would want you to fix them up with someone. They would believe that you have some magical access to marriageable candidates and will urge you to help them out. Marriage is something some people don’t understand without experiencing it. So please cut them some slack.
8. Universal approval
The one who becomes the first to get married among her friends becomes the glowing example to parents. All the parents of all your friends will use your example to nudge their kids towards marriage and your friends in their turn will use your name to get approval for everything.
Be it a short trip with their partner or a night out, they will use your name to get approval from their parents. It’s just common sense that if a married woman is in the group, she will be more responsible than others. Common sense is not always true, but the illusion is very useful.
9. Saree lender
This is funny but true. Being the first bride in your group you become the go-to girl for every-occasion sarees. If you think that all the sarees you received at your wedding as gifts belong exclusively to you, then you are undoubtedly wrong. Now that you own a bunch of them, your friends will designate you as the official saree lender for every auspicious occasion. But don’t be afraid, sometimes they will even return those sarees unharmed.
10. The first baby
If along with the first marriage you have the first child in the group, then God may help you to raise your child without a bunch of pampering uncles and aunties around. Your kid will not run out of gifts, toys and clothes ever. You will always find someone to babysit for you. And the best part is your friends will be around you, as they are yet to shoulder these responsibilities. They would also help you out if you find it hard to figure out the baby schedule. They would learn with you but will be around when you are alone and need company.
Enjoy your married life and things do get better with a little help from your friends.