It’s not just the big things, it’s the small ones
When you are in the first few days of falling in love, everything is larger than life. You and your partner want everything to be just perfect and romance to be grand. However, in a marriage, especially one which has completed several years, it is indeed the smaller things and moments in the daily routine that make it work. Here’s a list of such moments/things.
Saying ‘I am sorry’ even if it is not your fault
Even if you know that it is not your fault, if you say sorry to end the argument, then you are focusing on the fact that your partner and marriage means a lot more to you than winning an argument, which will only give you momentary joy. This small gesture makes a huge impact on the success of a marriage. One of my uncles, a dentist, follows this religiously. He allows his wife to win the argument and says sorry, because he knows that his marriage means a lot more to him than the argument. Having said that, it is not that he is always correct.
I am not sure if he does this because he loves his marriage or because he loves the peace of his mind more. Whatever the reason, it has worked, because they’ve been a loving couple who enjoy their time together for the past 34 years.
Saying ‘I love you’ every now and then
While ending a call or stepping out of the house, do you say ‘I love you’ to your spouse? In some marriages it is so organic, it’s almost like it’s subconscious. It takes less than a second to say it, but it only reinforces the fact that your bond is unbreakable and that your love for each other only keeps growing each day.
Waking up next to each other and saying ‘Good Morning’
Last week my partner slept in the other room because he wanted the fan switched on and I did not. I told him that he will not sleep in a different room and that we must wake up next to each other every day to wish each other ‘good morning’. A very small yet significant act in a marriage is to sleep and wake up on the same bed.
A very small yet significant act in a marriage is to sleep and wake up on the same bed.
Life is too short to be spending even those 8 hours of sleep apart from each other.
One very important thing that makes a marriage work is being able to be yourself in front of your partner. You should not have any inhibitions about farting, burping, scratching, etc. in front of your partner. If you can’t be yourself, then you’ll always feel burdened by the relationship and soon will start getting fatigued. It is only this freedom to be yourself and do anything and everything you want, of course keeping the rules set by you as a couple, that makes the marriage last for eternity.
You go out with your spouse even when you are tired
One small thing, which I have experienced myself, is when my partner comes out with me even if he has had a tiring day at work just to spend some quality time with me. There have been days when I have wanted to go to eat ice cream after dinner and he still makes the effort to come out with me and take me to the ice cream shop. I think that this is very romantic. Who needs a candle light dinner after your partner has shown you how much he loves you through this gesture?
Related reading: He looked tired, but he was there
You give each other a hug
A small yet a very significant moment is when you two hug each other. “As soon as he wakes up, he comes and hugs me, even if we’ve fought the previous night,” says Sherinaz. This is a wonderful gesture. A marriage lasts only if you are friends with your spouse and as friends you need to hug it out after a fight. Why only wait for a fight to happen? No one is stopping you from hugging each other, right?
To make a marriage work you do not need to do big things together like buying a house or having babies and raising them. The small things of your day to day life can keep the marriage full of liveliness and joy. The smallest of all things I feel these days is to keep your phone away when you are with your partner on the dining table. Try it!