Bae: /bei/: noun (informal)
Bæ/bae is a Danish word for poop. Also used by people on the Internet who think it means baby, sweetie etc. People were confused about its origin up until 2011 when someone tweeted that the term was an acronym which stood for “before anyone else”.
Four women sat across each other. The table had an odd spread from homemade to gourmet. The cafeteria was quiet as the project managers took a break from the emergency meeting they had to conduct on a weekend. They loved the company and each other’s too, so nobody was complaining.
Nainika unpacked her foil packed sandwiches opening the conversation, “I love when he makes a grilled turkey sandwich. I felt bad though that he had to finish making the sandwiches after an exhausting round of what can only be called animal sex.” She snagged the attention of all three pairs of ears immediately.
The man who cooks
Nainika explained with a little defensiveness and a lot of smugness, “Arrey, it’s my thing. Every time he is in the kitchen shuffling through cabinets, flipping pancakes with his sleeves folded up to his elbow, I find him extremely hot. A small smudge of flour across his cheek and the long familiar fingers gracefully folding the edges of little baked thingies he makes…. Ooh mama! So yes, this morning he tried to surprise me with breakfast in bed and I surprised him by taking him to bed instead!” All four chuckled and Tabassum blew a cheering whistle. They all shared bites of the delicious sandwich that had seen too much, and delved deeper into what had been silently picked as the tiffin topic: ‘When is your bae the sexiest?’
Related reading: Do men who cook make the best lovers?
He’s cute when he’s angry
Humming approvingly at the sandwich, Niharika cut in, “You know, mine is a classic. Every time we have a heated row and he is all flushed and passionately countering me, I end up shutting his baseless argument with a kiss.” Tabassum interjected, “That is such conventional BS! In the middle of an argument instead of paying attention to the words you are distracted by his ‘sexiness’. Counter objectification is going to do us no good I tell you!”
“O mata! I take up the argument from the point we left it and vanquish him, but only after a good old session of hot sex. I cannot help if he is most attractive in the middle of a spat! His passion otherwise is under the wraps of his corporate metal suit and poker face,” Niharika defended herself and shrugged. Her audience murmured sadly as the drab corporate cafeteria before them resonated with Niharika’s words.
I like the handcuffs
Tabassum elbowed Raya who was sitting there playing with her noodles. Newly married to the boy she married off a newspaper listing she always felt a little out of place in these chats. But the girls would not have that. Niharika and Tabassum, both were in live-in relationships; while Nainika was the only other married chick in the group, to her four-year boyfriend.
Raya let out a nervous laugh, “I don’t know. It has been three months, and it all seems pretty new and exciting. But you know what…. We tried something the other day and I think…” “Spit it!” interjected Nainika. “Well, I find him very hot playing submissive in bed. I mean blindfolds, ties and all…” Raya smiled slyly. “Ae hae hunterwali! Go girl!” Tabassum cheered.
He’s my muse
“Hey! My turn!” Tabassum was the quirkiest among them all. Sporting a pixie dyed red, she was the woman who had left her home to follow her own rules. She was the rebel in leather jacket, earning the big bucks and running her own project right now with women and transgender sex workers, working towards their empowerment.
Wrapping some curry in a piece of roti Tabassum continued, “Okay, so the other day we were watching Danish Girl and he was completely enthralled. We went out to the terrace for some coffee and smoke, and we started talking about gender roles and questioning ourselves…” “I knew it,” interrupted Niharika. “Let me finish Nihar! I had to finish a couple of canvases of the series I was painting. So I suggested the idea and he agreed to dress up for me and let me tell you I have had a lot of good days in bed but that day kind of blew my mind to the north pole,” Tabassum ended with a whistle.
“Wait… dress up as in?” Raya asked innocently. Tabassum flashed a wide smile, “In my clothes, silly! I made him wear my red Bardot dress and did his makeup. I could only start painting after we had the crazy sexual tension out of the way. He looked smouldering hot!”
She turns me on with a glance
“That sounds like some lovely time you had there, Tabu!” came a quip from the coffee machine corner as the four of them turned to see Shreya pouring herself a big cup. Boss lady had snuck up on them and the five of them giggled like teenagers. “Arrey, Shreya tu bata na! What is your undoing?” asked Nainika of her boss and batch mate.
Shreya joined them at the table and thought for a second before a wicked smile appeared on her face. “You know some times when you are talking or just doing your thing and you suddenly look at each other… like a long and warm look. I don’t know what builds up within me when she looks at me like that. I don’t need her to undo her buttons, or say something dirty… I’m ready to go! Khoon khaulne lagta hain behn… oh! HR!” Shreya started laughing as the others joined in. “Boss, that is a cliché and you are made out of crumbly sugar,” said Tabassum and they all went back to their lunch debating the Sales strategy this month.