Why I won’t take my granny for ‘Veere Di Wedding’

Swaty Prakash
swara bhaskar

Oh my God, a woman likes sex???

What is that one news that will create more ripples than a man masturbating in public? Well, it is a woman masturbating in private! Yes, women giving themselves pleasure in the confines of their bedrooms are quite scandalous by a lot of standards. How else can one explain all the trolling that dogged Swara Bhaskar when she was seen masturbating in her latest film Veere Di Wedding?

Related reading: Why are men afraid of women who want sex?

To empower or not to empower?

Yes, lots of trolls have asked her how it is empowerment and she has replied quite aptly that the girl gratifying herself in a non-judgemental way is quite empowering. She is right and has brilliantly taken care of these trolls head on. But I don’t get the entire empowerment topic, among other things. My confusion is, why does it have to be “empowerment” at all? Why should an act to give yourself some pleasure be about empowerment? Shouldn’t it be a normal act, just like shitting or eating? The way we want women to justify every single act on or off screen is ridiculously funny.

The way we want women to justify every single act on or off screen is ridiculously funny.

I wouldn’t be surprised if some day we question a woman snoring. How it is empowering women if they sleep relaxed, stress-free and, well, SNORE like a man?

Can we accept that we women do a lot of things just because we want to do them and not to prove a point? Well, the act itself might prove a point or two, but we have a life and we make it large! With a glass of beer or with friends, with solo trips or masturbation, just like men!

Veere di grandmothers!

Yes, the news is a lot of people went to watch the movie with their grandmothers and when the grannies came out of the hall, they all said they were “ashamed” of the movie and Swara’s actions in the movie. While the first part of this story made me want to go hug all these grandchildren who took time out to take their grannies for an A-rated all-women movie which right from the trailers strongly indicated the “bold” aspect of the movie. The second part, however, made me doubt the authenticity of these grandmothers and their well-wishing grandchildren. But if we do believe that these trolls are real and not paid, there are a few other things to ponder.

Why do we expect grandmothers to feel ashamed with what Swara’s character in the movie did? Ours is probably the only country that elaborately decorates the room where the bride and groom are supposed to spend the first night together.

Ours is probably the only country that elaborately decorates the room where the bride and groom are supposed to spend the first night together.

While we will not discuss the act itself because it hurts our cultural sentiments, we don’t mind slyly telling the new brides of the “good news” the entire family is eagerly waiting for. We are so hypocritical about the entire sex topic that sometimes I feel that our entire nation needs some serious sex education.

Related reading: Sex education does not lead to more sex

Granny had children, too, didn’t she?

Ours is the society where the guy gets a glass of milk on the wedding night so that he can “perform” well. And I am not even talking about the Kamasutra and Khajuraho temples and their explicit images. We have had enough discussions about them and we have decided to not pay any heed to any of these examples.

So, coming back to the entire hullabaloo around Swara and her indecent act in the movie, let us discuss the grandmothers again. These grandmothers bore more children than we could ever imagine and I really wish they knew how to give themselves some pleasure. But why should we even doubt their abilities? And what make us think it is only the young, progressive women who know how to take pleasure?

Why is men’s dignity so fragile in our society?

I remember how a well-known journalist was interviewing Sunny Leone and he started the interview saying that he feels morally corrupted sitting with Sunny Leone. The fact that she had starred in porn movies made her capable of polluting the spiritual or moral karma of the guy in question. Yes, educated, aware men in our society live in these fragile bubbles.

So I am surprised that these men would even take their grannies for such a movie. They can’t imagine that once upon a time, when their grandmothers were young and had an active libido, they had various sexual encounters and “had sex” as a consequence of which they are here! Similarly, when guys allegedly took their grandmothers to watch the movie, why were they feeling so corrupted by the masturbation scene? Why is an act that often marks the beginning of a lot of men’s days is suddenly so revolting when attributed to a woman? Well, I am not a man, so I guess I will never know.

Disclaimer: While it might seem that I have been advocating the recently released Veere Di Wedding, let me also clarify that I will never take my grandmother for the movie. Not because she would be any less “Hindustani” if she watches “the” scene, but because I don’t want her to think that we women are all show and no substance. I don’t know why all the “chick flicks” look so pretentious.

I know there are tons of dude flicks which just talk about girls and booze. But I am an educated young woman with a lot of women friends, some of who are married, but a lot of them are single and when we meet, guys and orgasm is not what we are talking about. It is one of the many things that bother us but that is not all. So, I feel pained when I see these few women’s films that become sources of cheap thrills and titillation for guys and “embarrassment” for grandmothers.

Swaty Prakash

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