Did you ever feel like you were the only one in his life at one point, only to discover he has a penchant for charming every woman in the room? Are you in a relationship where his initial devotion turns into a constant flirtatious escapade with other women? Brace yourself and let us break it to you – you might be in a relationship with a womanizer.
So, what is a womanizer? Ever wondered why your husband can’t resist making eye contact with that stranger at the café? Or are you confused about why he’s extra flirtatious with your friends? Coping with such behavior is emotionally draining, fueling insecurities and negative emotions, and destroying self-confidence. You might wonder, “Do womanizers ever feel guilty?” Well, let’s find out. Understanding the psychology behind a womanizer’s actions and the signs of their womanizing ways can empower you to navigate this challenging situation effectively.
In this article, relationship and intimacy coach Shivanya Yogmayaa (internationally certified in the therapeutic modalities of EFT, NLP, CBT, REBT), who specializes in different forms of couples counseling, helps us identify the different aspects of a womanizer’s personality and understand how to cope if you’re already in a relationship with such a man. So, do you want to know how to mess with a womanizer and emerge victorious? Read on.
Who Is A Womanizer?
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It’s impossible to pinpoint what causes a guy to be a womanizer. But unraveling the mystery begins with understanding who a womanizer truly is. The actual womanizer meaning is one who engages in multiple relationships or frequent encounters with different women, all while projecting the image of desiring a committed relationship with each of them.
Unlike men in polyamory or open relationships, who are transparent about their sexual links, men who are womanizers keep their multiple romantic ties hidden. Lacking empathy, they deceitfully mimic signs of falling in love, while secretly seeking numerous connections. But what causes a guy to be a womanizer? According to research, there are various psychological reasons behind womanizing, like attachment insecurity, fear of commitment, and lack of ideal role models.
Related Reading: Should I Break Up With My Boyfriend? 11 Signs It Is Probably Time
Dating a so-called Casanova often means infidelity becomes routine in romantic relationships, with the aftermath revealing a startling absence of remorse. It is hard but not impossible to spot the signs of a womanizer. Now that you have a basic understanding of the subject, let’s find the answer to — “What is a womanizer?” by decoding the tactics he might use.
Common tactics of a womanizer
My friend, Tabby, a Houston-based fashion designer, fell for Joe, a suburban businessman. Despite catching him cheating, Tabby, stayed in the relationship, blinded by love. Joe’s charm and sweet words masked his womanizing ways. It took her some time, but Tabby finally admitted, “My boyfriend is a womanizer.” She learned the hard way that she was in a relationship with a womanizer, realizing Joe used classic womanizer tactics, causing her unnecessary pain and heartbreak. She never knew what a womanizer meaning was until this incident but she sure learned how to deal with heartbreak.
If you find this situation relatable and suspect that a man is using you for convenience, pay attention to these common womanizer tactics to avoid falling into a trap of smooth talk and seduction:
- They use looks, status, and/or wealth to attract partners
- They throw you off their scent by flattering you with compliments and romantic gestures
- They project themselves as private individuals to keep their shenanigans under wraps
- They blow hot and cold for no apparent reason
- They can charm their way out of or into any situation
- They sweep you (and many others) off your feet at the most unexpected moments to keep you hooked to them
- The body language of a womanizer is sharp, and he is especially groomed to make his womanizing ways inconspicuous
Related Reading: 15 Sure-Shot Signs He Is Heartbroken Over You
Signs You’re In A Relationship With A Womanizer
Often, we find ourselves wondering, “What is a womanizer?” Coping with the “my partner is a womanizer” realization is challenging. Despite red flags, understanding the impact of dating a womanizer on your emotional well-being can be difficult. A womanizer’s mastery of charm makes it difficult to pinpoint issues.
Signs of a womanizer falling in love may emerge temporarily, but old patterns return even without the womanizer meaning to. Identifying womanizer tactics and addressing problematic behavior becomes difficult, yet certain character traits can provide valuable insights — like the body language of a womanizer. It is important to know the signs. If your partner is a womanizer, then he would surely show these signs:
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1. He knows his way around women
It is hard to spot womanizer tactics, but not impossible. A tell-tale sign of a womanizer is his adeptness in navigating interactions with women. Observe how he interacts with women to spot if you’re dating a philander. Here are a few things that you can keep an eye on:
- Watch out for overtly charming manners: If he holds doors open and pulls out chairs just for women
- Observe his adaptability: Note how he tailors his behavior to make women comfortable, whether appearing shy or outgoing
- Pay attention to his magnetic vibe: Notice how women are drawn to him not because he is necessarily an attractive guy but because of his warm and relatable presence and charismatic personality
Learn to spot these signs if you want to know how to mess with a womanizer. These will help. A Reddit user rightly says, “You’re not going to be able to tell just from conversation. If he’s actually a womanizer, then he’s probably good at hiding it. Judge a man by his actions, not by his words.”
2. He is charming in his appearance and ways
The psychology behind a womanizer is complex, but his ways can be easy to identify. A womanizer’s go-to tactic is dressing to impress, ensuring heads turn wherever he goes. Here are a few characteristics:
- He is impeccably groomed and radiates style
- He smells great
- He has shoes that could double up as mirrors
- You won’t find him in wrinkled shirts or casual boxer shorts
His polished appearance, cultivated during his time on the prowl, becomes his second nature. When dating a womanizer, learn to spot signs like these. While maintaining personal grooming standards is admirable, it’s essential to recognize when it crosses into a womanizer’s territory.
There’s a fine line between taking pride in self-care and using impeccable grooming as a tactic. If the focus on appearance becomes a tool for manipulation in relationships rather than genuine self-expression, it might be a red flag and a signal that it’s time for you to accept and say — “My boyfriend is a womanizer.”
Related Reading: What Makes A Man Sexually Attractive – 11 Things Science Vouches For
3. He’s good at seducing women of all ages
If you ask a dating coach, he will tell you about the body language of a womanizer. Watch out for these signs:
- He effortlessly captivates women of all ages with unparalleled charm
- He stares at every passing woman
- He knows how to flirt
If your partner mirrors these traits, you might be dealing with a womanizer. Men who are womanizers have a special talent for seducing women of all ages and walks of life. Maggie, a reader from New Mexico, realized she had married a man who was a characteristic womanizer when she found him flirting with their daughter’s friend.
“He had cheated in the past but I had forgiven him for the sake of the children. When I saw him flirting with a 14-year-old girl in our own house, it became clear to me that his hunger for attention knew no bounds. I realized that I had clearly ignored all the signs of a womanizer and regret it to this day,” she says.
4. He has a prominent male ego
His ego is his prized possession, prominently displayed for all to see, fueled by the constant attention he garners from women. The essence of a womanizer lies in this insatiable need for ego-stroking, always craving fresh admirers.
If denied the attention he craves, he resorts to the following tactics:
- Emotional manipulation
- Making disparaging remarks
- Employing guilt-tripping tactics
- Brushing off the emotional needs of his partner
- A tell-tale sign of a womanizer is his blatant disrespect, as he objectifies women, unable to perceive them as equals and taking advantage of their trust in him.
Related Reading: Healthy Flirting Vs Unhealthy Flirting – 8 Key Differences
5. Over-complimenting is his default setting
We all enjoy compliments, but when someone excessively praises your looks and personality, it might raise some concern. While sincere admiration feels great, repetitive flattery could signal ulterior motives. Superficial compliments for women to melt their hearts would be his specialty. Consider the notion that some might say what it takes to get what they want. You need to proceed with caution if compliments like these are more common than you’d like:
- If beauty were time, you’d be an eternity
- They say laughter is the best medicine, I guess they’re right because your smile could cure anything
- You’d be richer than royalty if charm were a currency
- If grace were a crown, you’d be wearing it like a queen
You might be able to notice signs of a womanizer who’s falling in love if he compliments your attributes like empathy and emotional maturity, but you have to be really diligent to spot them.
6. He’s good at emotional manipulation
Dealing with a womanizer is a daunting task, as he skillfully manipulates and gaslights, leaving you questioning your judgment. Taking advantage of your love and trust is an easy way for him to manipulate you. Despite confronting him about his womanizing traits, he uses smooth-talking tactics to dismiss your concerns, convincing you it’s all in your head.
When you’re with a womanizer, enduring perpetual insecurity in the relationship and invalidated feelings becomes the painful norm. So, how to deal with a womanizer like this one? The first step is to identify his manipulating ways.
7. He doesn’t let you in on his dating history
Ask about his past, and you’ll find a fuzzy story. He might say he hasn’t been in serious relationships, but the reality is that he probably has a history of short-term romances and changes partners frequently. Dating such a guy comes with a lot of uncertainty about his past and your future together.
8. He doesn’t have many genuine female friends
A scarcity of genuine female friendships may signal womanizing tendencies in a guy. A womanizer often struggles to maintain platonic relationships, as his focus tends to be on romantic conquests. Limited connections with women outside of romantic interests suggest a pattern of fleeting engagements, making it worth considering his intentions and ability to form meaningful bonds beyond romance.
Related Reading: 15 Early Signs He Is A Player And Isn’t Serious About You
9. He’ll show a few non-verbal signs that signal questionable behavior
Watch out for non-verbal signs that scream ‘womanizer’:
- He’s overly touchy with other women
- He’s constantly checking out other women, thinking you’re not paying attention
- He seems uncomfortable with commitment talks
Those are red flags and common womanizer tactics. Pay attention to his actions rather than his butter-smooth words. Trust your instincts. If something feels off, it probably is. You’ll soon figure out if it is real love or just a short-term fling for him.
10. He doesn’t try to get to know you on a deeper level
Real love runs deeper than corny and cheesy conversations. If your partner skims the surface and avoids delving into deeper conversations, it might be a ‘womanizer alert’. A guy genuinely interested in you would want to know more than just the basics and not just be in it for the good times. If he consistently sidesteps meaningful discussions and personal details, it suggests a focus on superficial chemistry rather than building a genuine, emotional connection. He probably intends to keep it short-term and you’re probably in a relationship with a womanizer.
Related Reading: How To Connect With Your Partner On A Deeper Level – Expert Helps
11. You’ve never met his friends
One of the major signs of a womanizer is keeping you out of his circle. When your partner hesitates to introduce you to their friends, it might indicate womanizing behavior and is one of the red flags to watch out for. In a healthy relationship, sharing social circles is typical. However, a womanizer might keep you at a distance to compartmentalize romantic interests. This also raises questions about their intentions and commitment to a genuine, open connection. And it’s a clear indication that you’re in a relationship with a womanizer.
How To Deal With A Womanizer
Bluntly put, a womanizer remains unchangeable, devoid of remorse for his actions, as his mindset deems them justified. Despite this, you must carefully weigh the long-term toll of this toxic dynamic on your mental health and pay attention to their tactics.
A study highlights: “Being with a womanizer leaves partners feeling used, causing low self-esteem.” The onus falls on you to decide whether to endure these qualities or make the tough choice to walk away. First, you need to identify and analyze the womanizer weaknesses. Here is how to deal with a womanizer husband or partner without losing yourself:
Related Reading: What Is A Womanizer’s Weakness?
1. Have no expectations
Are you wondering how to get over a womanizer with whom you’ve been in a long-term relationship? We have always been told that expectations hurt. So the first and foremost rule is to keep your expectations in a relationship like this one at bay. The more you expect him to be loyal to you and to love you, the more you will feel dejected by his actions. The only way for you to cope with that fact is to not be in denial about the reality of your situation — that you are in a relationship with a womanizer and it comes with its own set of challenges.
2. Deal head-on with embarrassing situations
Dating a womanizer comes with its share of emotional roller-coaster rides. If you find your partner staring at other women or cheating on you with another woman, confront him immediately. You need to know how to deal with a womanizer smartly and rattle him up so that his philandering ways do not get out of hand. Let him know that this is not acceptable under any circumstance.
Related Reading: 9 Expert-Backed Tips For Healthy Conflict Resolution In Relationships
3. Give the womanizer the silent treatment
As we discussed earlier, womanizers tend to have a big ego and it hurts them brutally, if someone else, especially their own woman, ignores them. If you are hurt by his behavior, just use the silent treatment to your benefit and express your discomfort. Being ignored by a woman, just one time, is enough. You will instantly recognize a change in his behavior and he will not leave any stone unturned to make you happy.
4. Clear boundaries > Blind tolerance
Beware of womanizers who excel in manipulation. If he showers you with affection in the short term but turns cold when you’re not responsive, don’t yield. Clearly express your relationship boundaries and stand firm. Those with low self-esteem might fall into the trap of constantly pleasing him, but it opens the door to being used or mistreated. Pay attention to the signs from the beginning. Prioritize your well-being by establishing clear communication and insisting on mutual respect.
Related Reading: 10 Must-Follow Healthy Relationship Boundaries
5. Seek professional help
If your man has fallen too deep into the womanizing pattern, you may find it necessary to seek professional help before you end up with low self-esteem. Womanizing is a form of addiction and needs to be acknowledged and treated as such. The question “Can a womanizer be faithful?” might be eating you up from the inside, but he won’t change until he feels guilty and genuinely wants to change.
The psychology behind a womanizer says that being in such a relationship is bound to take a toll on your mental health and well-being in the long run. It is natural to feel guilty for ignoring the red flags. If you’re still scratching your head, wondering how to get over a womanizer, and are looking for help, Bonobology’s counselors are here for you.
Key Pointers
- A womanizer is a person who has multiple relationships or sexual encounters with different women
- Womanizers thrive on being revered by women
- Dating a womanizer can be an emotionally draining experience that can take a toll on your emotional wellbeing and mental health
- Your best bet is to detach yourself emotionally, even if your circumstances don’t allow you to end the relationship and move on
Being with a womanizer may seem like a heavy cross to bear. Do womanizers ever feel guilty? It is hard to tell honestly. But if a man is using you for convenience, most likely, he doesn’t feel guilty. However, recovery is still possible with adequate time, love, and commitment.
If you are hopelessly in love with a womanizer, and he considers it a real relationship, you may want to try your best to salvage the relationship. Finally, the rewards of recovery are worth the effort, since it not only makes your boyfriend/husband an improved partner and an even better person but also gives your long-term relationship a fresh lease on life. Whilst not everyone can do so, people with strong willpower can.
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I need help dealing with my husband who has all of the signs of a womanizer but I have never caught him cheating or having any problems with other women
Such a well crafted piece, yes and almost every woman has known at least one of this kind.
This article somehow knew what i was feeling and then told me what to do. The thing is how do i follow through? Somewhere the resolve breaks…please help.
Actually I know that what does it feels like to be in relationship with a womaniser man.
With all my experience I only have to say that leave him ASAP.
I think giving it time and trying to put in the elements of patience and understanding of who he is very important here. However, if it goes to such an extent that you feel completely left out from his life, you can consult a professional help in this matter or even take the ultimate decision to stay or not with him.