What Is Ghosting: Complete Guide On the Brutal Dating Trend

Isimo sobudlelwano besimanje siveze izitayela eziningi ezithakazelisayo, ezihlanganisa izinhlobonhlobo—ezijabulisayo, ezivumelanayo, ezididayo nezinonya. Isiphetho esisodwa esinonya se-spectrum singumqondo wokungenwa yizipoki ekuqomeni nasebudlelwaneni. 

Uma uke wasebenza esigcawini sokuqomisana, kungenzeka ukuthi kudingeke ukuthi ugwinye leli philisi elibabayo noma uliphathe komunye umuntu. Ngakho-ke, kuphephile ukucabanga ukuthi uyayazi impendulo emfushane yokuthi, yini isipoki? Empeleni kusho ukunyamalala ekuphileni kothile, kungazelelwe, ngaphandle kwesixwayiso noma incazelo—njengesipoki. Nakuba ukwenza isipoki othile kungase kubonakale kulula futhi kungenazinkinga, umthelela wako uvame ukuba yinkimbinkimbi kakhulu futhi uhlala njalo. 

Kungakho, nginomuzwa onamandla wokuthi kufanele kube nokuqwashisa okwengeziwe mayelana nencazelo yesipoki kanye nemiphumela yako. Ngakho, lesi sihloko. Uma usanda kuba neshwa lokungenwa isipoki, futhi uhlushwa nemibuzo efana nokuthi: kungani umuntu ekudlisa ngaphandle kwesizathu, kusho ukuthini uma umuntu ekudlisa, noma ucabanga ukudonsa isenzo sesipoki, qhubeka ufunda. Umbono omusha ungase ukusize uphathe isimo kangcono kakhulu. 

Iyini i-Ghosting?

Okokuqala, ake sibuyele emuva embuzweni osukhona: yini isipoki? Manje, njengoba sengishilo, futhi njengoba wazi kahle, kusho ukuthini eqeda ukuhlobanaukuhamba kungazelelwe, ngaphandle kwencazelo noma isexwayiso. Kodwa-ke kuphinde kusho ukuthi lowo obhungwayo usala edidekile eqagela ukuthi konakelephi.  

Elandisa ngokuhlangenwe nakho kwakhe kokuba nesipoki, uSheila, uchwepheshe wezokuthengisa oneminyaka engu-32 ubudala, uthi: “Sasilele embhedeni, sibambana, futhi sixoxa indaba yamakhabethe. 

Ungacabanga ukhuluma ngokwabelana ngamakhabethe bese uhamba emzuzwini owodwa bese unyamalala emoyeni omncane ngokulandelayo? Ukuba nesipoki ebuhlotsheni noma ngisho nalapho ukuphola kungaba yingozi empilweni yengqondo yomuntu oyisipoki futhi kungabashiya bezabalaza nokuzethemba okonakele, ukuzethemba okuphansi, kanye nobuhlungu bokungamukelwa. Brutal, njengoba ngishilo. Nakhu okwenza kube njalo:

• Asikho isixwayiso noma incazelo: Isipoki sinqamula ukuxhumana ngokuzenzakalelayo, ngaphandle kwengxoxo
• Kuya ngokuya kuvame: I-Ghosting iya ngokuya idlanga kule nkathi yedijithali, okusho ukuthi abantu abaningi babhekene nemiphumela yako
• Umthelela ongokomzwelo: Lowo ongenwa isipoki ngokuvamile uzizwa enqatshiwe, edidekile futhi elimele
• Ukuntuleka kokuvala: I-Ghosting incisha abantu ngabanye ithuba lokuqonda isizathu sokuphela kobudlelwano

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Unesipoki Ngemva Kwedethi Yokuqala? Kungani Kwenzeka Futhi Kubhekwana Kanjani

Kungani Abantu Besaba?

Uma kubhekwa ukuthi lo mkhuba unonya kangakanani, kungokwemvelo ukuzibuza, “Kungani abantu beyizipoki?” Hhayi-ke, kholwa noma ungakholwa, ngenkathi ukubhula ngokungangabazeki kungenanhliziyo, abantu abaphendukela kukho kungenzeka kungabi njalo. Lesi sidingo sokumane sikhiphe konke ukuxhumana bese sinyamalala ngokuvamile sisuka emthwalweni womuntu ongokomzwelo. Namanje akukwenzi kulunge—hhayi ngokudutshulwa isikhathi eside—kodwa “akuwena, yibo” ukuqaphela kungase nje umuntu oyisipoki enze ukuthula nakho, Ake sibheke izizathu ezivamile zokuthi kungani abantu beyizipoki:

• Ukwesaba ukungqubuzana: Isipoki singase singabi muhle ngezingxoxo ezinzima noma ukubhekana, futhi singakhetha indlela elula yokuphuma
• Ukungatholakali kwemizwa: Ukungalungeli ubudlelwano obuzibophezele noma ukuxhumana okujulile kwemizwa 
• Ezizwa egajwe amandla: Bangase bazizwe becindezelwe noma begajwe yijubane lobudlelwano futhi bakhethe ukunyamalala kunokuba bakhulume ngakho
• Ukuphelelwa yintshisekelo: Esikhundleni sokwethembeka, bakhetha indlela elula yokufiphala ngaphandle kwencazelo
• Ukugwema imizwa elimele: Bangase bakholelwe ukuthi isipoki kuyindlela emnene yokuqeda izinto, becabanga ukuthi kuzolimaza kancane kunokuhlukana ngokwethembeka.
• Izinkinga zomuntu siqu ezingakaxazululwa: Izipoki zingase zibe nokungazethembi kwazo, ukuhlukumezeka okwedlule, noma izindaba zokuzibophezela ezibenza bangagcini ukuxhumana
• Lula: Kulula kakhulu ukunyamalala ngokuchofoza okumbalwa kunokubhekana nemizwa engcolile evame ukubandakanyeka ekuqedeni ubudlelwano.

Wazi Kanjani Uma Uke Wahlushwa?

Njengoba kunikezwe amandla okuguquguquka okuyinkimbinkimbi kwe ukuphola kwesimanje kanye nobudlelwano, kungase kube nzima ukwazi ngokuqinisekile ukuthi uke waba nesipoki—okungenani ekuqaleni. Phela, ngaphandle uma usebudlelwaneni besikhathi eside, obuzinzile, ukuthintana njalo noma imihlangano yomuntu siqu akunikeziwe. Uma “ugcina izinto zivamile”, “uqhubeka nokugeleza nje” noma “ungabeki noma yimaphi amalebula”, kuwubuqili ukubeka okulindelekile nemingcele. Ngakho-ke, wazi kanjani ukuthi isithakazelo sakho sothando/umlingani wakho ukunyamalala ngokuzumayo kungenxa yokuthi umatasa noma unqume ukuqeda izinto? Nokho, noma yiziphi izinguquko ezibalulekile neziqhubekayo emaphethini okuxhumana ziwumkhondo wakho wokuqala futhi osobala kakhulu. Nansi indlela lezi zinguquko ezingabonakala ngayo: 

1. Ukunyamalala kungazelelwe ekuxhumaneni

Kusho ukuthini uma umuntu ekudlisa? Kusho ukuthi bayayeka ukuxhumana nawe, kungazelelwe futhi ngaphandle kwencazelo. Imibhalo, izingcingo, nemiyalezo yezwi ayiphendulwa, okuhluke ngokuphawulekayo kunoma yikuphi ukuphazamiseka okungokwemvelo ekukhulumeni okungenzeka uma omunye umuntu ematasa, ematasa, noma isidingo sendawo ethile. Nakhu ukuthi kubukeka kanjani isipoki ekupholeni:  

• Bayekile ukuphendula ekungeneni kwansuku zonke
• Izingcingo zakho ziya ngqo kuvoyisimeyili ngokuphindaphindiwe
• Ubonakala ungakwazi ukufinyelela kubo

Echaza ukuthi kungani lokhu kukhathaza, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uDkt. Jennifer Rhodes sithi, “Ukuthula kukhulu ngoba lapho othile ekukhathalela ngobuqotho, ngokuvamile uchaza isidingo sendawo noma ukubambezeleka kokuphendula.” 

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Indlela Yokuphendula Ku-Ghosting—Izimpendulo Zenani Eliphezulu Ezingu-80

2. Ukungabi bikho ezinkundleni zokuxhumana ngendlela engaqondakali

Ukungalandeli, ukuziba, noma ukuvimba umuntu yonke indawo is ghosting 101. "Ama-Ghosters avame ukusebenzisa amabhulokhi enkundla yezokuxhumana ukuze enze umngcele oqinile, asuse ukuthi kungenzeka ukuthintana," kuchaza umelaphi uNatalie Jones. Uma othile ekudlisa umoya, angase asuke ekuxhumaneni njalo aye ekuthuleni okungazelelwe, okuthusayo. Bangase badale ibanga lamabomu ngokuthi: 

• Ngokungazelelwe uyeka ubungane/ukuyeka ukukulandela ku-Facebook noma ku-Instagram
• Vimbela noma wenze i-akhawunti yabo ibe yimfihlo ngaphandle kwesixwayiso
• Ungaphenduli yize uku-inthanethi 
• Thumela ama-DM akho endaweni ebonwayo

3. Ukwehla okungazelelwe komzamo kanye nentshisekelo

Uma izingxoxo zakho zisukile ekuhlanganyeleni zaya kokungekho noma izimpendulo zazo zingacacile noma zingatshaliwe kangangokuthi asikho isidingo sokuyisa ingxoxo phambili, ungase ube semazingeni okuqala okungenwa umoya. Le ndlela yaziwa nangokuthi isipoki esithambile noma i-caspering, lapho umuntu enciphisa kancane kancane ukuthintana nezimpendulo ezibenza babonakale bengenasithakazelo engxoxweni ngaphambi kokuba bagcine beyeke ukukhulumisana. Umuntu ongakwazi ukuphefumula, 

• Thumela imibhalo ye-monosyllabic njengokuthi “kulungile”, “yebo”, noma “hmmmm”
• Misa ukuthumela umbhalo kuqala kodwa usaphendula 
• Yekani ukuqala izinhlelo noma izingxoxo eziphusile

4. Ukuziba imibuzo eqondile noma ukugwema izinhlelo

Isipoki singase sigweme noma yimiphi imizamo yokwenza izinhlelo noma sigweme imibuzo mayelana nokuthi izinto zibhekephi. “Izipoki zivame ukugwema ukuziphendulela ngokugcina izinhlelo zingacacile, zishiye omunye umuntu esesimweni sokungaqiniseki,” kusho umqeqeshi wobudlelwano uLindsey Ellison. Lokhu ngokuvamile kuwuphawu lokuthi a umuntu uphelelwa isithakazelo nokuthatha isinyathelo emuva, futhi kungase kubangele ukuziphatha okufana, 

• Ukuhlela kabusha amadethi ngaphandle kwesizathu esiqinile
• Imibuzo ephendulayo mayelana nekusasa
• Ukungazibophezeli mayelana nokutholakala kwazo, kungaba okwesikhathi esifushane noma sesikhathi eside

5. Uzwa sengathi ukhuluma nodonga

Wazi kanjani ukuthi ubhekene nesipoki ekupholeni noma ekuxhumekeni kwezothando? Hhayi-ke, kuqale kube sengathi ukhuluma nodonga. I ukungabi nokuxhumana futhi umzamo uthola ukukhungatheka kangangokuthi ufuna ukukuqeda ngokwakho-okuyikho kanye lokho isipoki esingase sikufune. Ukuze benze lokho, bangase,  

• Misa ukuqalisa othintana naye 
• Yeka ukubuza imibuzo 
• Gcina izimpendulo zabo zifushane futhi zivaliwe 
• Thatha isikhathi eside kabuhlungu ukuphendula imibhalo noma ukubuyisela izingcingo

Impact Of Ghosting 

Sesike sakhuluma ngemizwa yokungafaneleki kanye nokulimala okuvusa amadlingozi kumuntu, saphinde sathinta neqiniso lokuthi isidingo sokuba nesipoki sisuka kumuntu. umthwalo wemizwa. Njengoba kuvela, isenzo se-gposting asinqunywa futhi somile phela. Nansi indlela ukuba nesipoki kudlala ngayo ezingqondweni zabantu:

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Okufanele Ukwenze Uma Ekuphephetha Futhi Ebuya

Ukuthi isipoki sibathinta kanjani abayizipoki

Ukuba nesipoki kungaba okuhlangenwe nakho okubuhlungu kakhulu. Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uDkt. Jennice Vilhauer sithi, “Ukuthula kwesipoki kudala ukungezwani kwengqondo, okuphoqa izipoki ukuba zigcwalise izikhala ngokwengqondo, ngokuvamile ngezindlela zokuzigxeka.” Ngenxa yalokho, umuntu oyisipoki angase azizwe enqatshiwe, edidekile futhi engabaza ukuzibheka kwakhe. 

Ukuntuleka kokuvala nokucaca mayelana nokuthi kungani ubudlelwano buphelile kungashiya umuntu ezibuza ukuthi konakelephi, futhi ukungaqondakali kungaholela ekutheni, 

• Imizwa yokungazethembi
• Ukuzithemba
• Ukucindezeleka ngokomzwelo
• ukukhathazeka
• Izinkinga zokuthembela

Lokhu kungaqiniseki okuqhubekayo kwenza kube inselele ukuphulukisa, njengoba bashiywa ngaphandle kwesizathu esicacile sokuqhubekela phambili noma ukuqonda okwenzekile.

Ukuthi isipoki kusithinta kanjani isipoki

Nakuba ukungenwa yizipoki kungase kubonakale kuyindlela elula kumuntu onqamula konke ukuxhumana naye, kungase kube nomthelela enhlalakahleni yabo yengqondo nengokomzwelo. Umelaphi uSarah Stoltz uyachaza, “Ngokuthatha isipoki, abantu ngabanye bayawudelela umthwalo wabo wemfanelo, kodwa lokhu kuziphatha ngokuvamile kungaqinisa amaphethini okugwema nokungavuthwa ngokomzwelo.” 

Impumuzo yesikhashana yokugwema izingxoxo ezinzima ngokuvamile ithatha indawo yecala nokuzisola ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Ngaphandle kwalokho, ukugwema ukuziphendulela kungakhinyabeza ikhono lesipoki sokwakha ukuxhumana okujulile, okuthembekile esikhathini esizayo njengoba bengafundile ukuthi bangabhekana kanjani naso. izinselelo zobudlelwano nezingxoxo ezingakhululekile ngendlela enempilo. 

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Indlela Yokwenza Insizwa Izisole Ngokukubhebhetha—21 Izindlela Ezingenangqondo

Ingabe Kuke Kuhle Ukufeba Umuntu? 

Manje njengoba sesithole ngaphandle kokungabaza ukuthi isipoki singalimaza kakhulu ngokomzwelo, hhayi nje kulowo oyisipoki kodwa nakulowo okwenzayo, umbuzo wokuthi kulungile yini ukuba nesipoki othile ungase ubonakale ungenangqondo. Kodwa kuthiwani uma ngikutshela ukuthi ukuphefumula isipoki kuyisinqumo esinengqondo ezimweni eziningi zobudlelwano? Yebo, ufunda lokho kulungile—ngezinye izikhathi, ubuhlobo bungalimaza kangangokuthi ukunqamula konke ukuxhumana nokugcina ukuthula komsakazo kungase kube ukuphela kwendlela yokuzivikela etholakala kumuntu. Nazi ezinye zezimo ezinjalo:  

• Ubuthi noma ukuhlukumeza: Uma uku toxic noma ubudlelwano obuhlukumezayo lapho umlingani wakho ehlala ezama ukukukhohlisa nokulawula, ukunqamula ukuxhumana ngokuphelele kungaba uhlobo oludingekayo lokuzivikela.
• Ukungahloniphi imingcele: Uma othile eshaya indiva imingcele yakho echazwe ngokucacile—efana nesidingo sendawo noma ukungafuni ukuphishekela ubuhlobo—isipoki kungaba indlela yokubeka izidingo zakho kuqala.
• Ukuxhumana okufushane nokujwayelekile: Lapho usuka ekujikeni noma ekuxhumaneni okusekusha futhi okungajwayelekile (uke waba nedethi eyodwa noma ezimbili noma usesesiteji sokukhuluma futhi akukho okulindelwe komunye nomunye), ukungenwa yizipoki kungase kungabi umqondo omubi kakhulu njengoba kungekho ukubandakanyeka okukhulu ngokomzwelo.
• Ulaka noma ukuba nobudlova: Ukufaka umoya kumuntu ophikelelayo ophushayo futhi onolaka, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi wenza izinhlelo, ufuna ukuqinisekiswa, noma ukukucindezela ezimweni ezikwenza ungakhululeki kusemthethweni ngokuphelele.

Lapho isipoki singalungile

Ngingathi kuzo zonke ezinye izimo, ngaphandle kwalezo ezicashunwe ngenhla, ukwenza isipoki kuwukukhetha okubi. Kuba nzima kakhulu ezimweni ezilandelayo: 

• Ebudlelwaneni obuzibophezele, besikhathi eside: Ukufaka isipoki uzakwethu ku ubudlelwano obuzibophezele ayihloniphi futhi iyalimaza. Ukunyamalala kwakho kungazelelwe kungabashiya bezizwe bephuphuthekisiwe futhi belimele kakhulu
• Ngemva kwamadethi amaningi: Uma utshale isikhathi esibalulekile nomuntu othile futhi uxhumano olujulile seluqalile ukubamba, ukuphuma kungazelelwe kungase kuzwakale njengokukhaphela.
• Uma unombuthano wokuxhumana ovamile: Uma unabangane abafanayo noma umbuthano ojwayelekile wokuxhumana nabantu, ukungenwa yizipoki kungadala izimo ezingezinhle futhi kuholele ekungaqondini okungathinti nje umuntu oyisipoki kodwa nabanye abahililekile. 
• Bebenomusa futhi behlonipha: Uma othile ekuphathe ngomusa nangenhlonipho, kuhle nje ukuthi ubuyisele umusa futhi ukhulume ngokwethembeka ukuthi awunantshisekelo yokuqhubeka nobudlelwano.

Enye indlela yesipoki

Uma ungekho ebudlelwaneni obunobuthi, obuhlukumezayo, noma usebenzelana nomuntu ohlale eshaya indiva imingcele yakho noma okucindezela ukuba wenze izinto ongakhululekile ngazo, kufanele ucabangele enye indlela esikhundleni sesipoko. Ngamanye amazwi, thatha indlela ehlolwe isikhathi yokuqeda ubudlelwano/ukuxhumana kwezothando ngokuthi:  

• Ukuba nengxoxo eqotho: Dlulisela imizwa yakho kumuntu. Yiba oqondile futhi ugomele kodwa ube nomusa. Bazise ukuthi awunantshisekelo yokuqhubeka nobudlelwano/ukuxhumana
• Thumela umlayezo ocacile nohloniphekile: Ukuhlukana ngombhalo akupholile kodwa kuyindlela engcono kune-ghosting. Uma ungeke ukwazi ukuba nengxoxo mathupha, thumela umlayezo omfushane kodwa ocacile odlulisa izinhloso zakho. Ngokwesibonelo, “Ngisijabulele isikhathi sethu ndawonye, ​​kodwa angizwani nokuxhumana okuqhubekela phambili.”
• Beka imingcele: Uma ususidlulisile isifiso sakho sokuqeda izinto, beka imingcele ecacile esikhundleni sokunyamalala. Qina kodwa ube nesizotha ekwenzeni kanjalo 
• Thatha isikhala: Uma ungenaso isiqiniseko ngemizwa yakho noma ubanjwe ohlotsheni lwesimo sokuphinda-phinda, ibanga elithile lingakusiza. Thatha isikhathi nendawo ukuze usule ikhanda lakho futhi uqiniseke ngalokho okufunayo. Uma uzwa ukuthi ukuxhumana kuncipha, kudlulisele komunye umuntu ngaphambi kokuthi uqhubeke

Okufanele Ukwenze Uma Umuntu Ekuphephetha — Izindlela Eziyisi-7 Zokubhekana Nazo

Naphezu kokukhula kokuvumelana ngomthelela wesipoki ebudlelwaneni, kwenzeka ngaso sonke isikhathi. Ngezinye izikhathi, ezimweni lapho ungalindele khona. USammy, oneminyaka engu-25 ongumfundi we-Economics, uyangitshela, “Bengikade ngithandana nalo mfana cishe izinyanga ezingu-6. Ngobunye ubusuku, sasibhalelana imiyalezo futhi wathi, “Uzizwa kanjani ngokubhaka amakhekhe kule mpelasonto? Ngifuna senze okuthile okunethezekile ndawonye.” Kwakuzwakala kusondelene futhi kunothando, ngangingaphezu kwenyanga. 

Ngasekupheleni kwaleyo ngxoxo, wangitshela ukuthi ezinsukwini ezimbalwa ezilandelayo kwakuzoba matasa kakhulu kuye nokuthi uzongibona ngoMgqibelo. Ngaphuma ngesasasa ngoLwesihlanu ngathenga zonke izithako zosuku lwethu lokubhaka ndawonye kodwa angiphindanga ngizwa lutho ngaye. Wavele wanyamalala engashongo lutho.” 

Okwenzeka kuSammy—noma noSheila, empeleni—akuyona into engavamile noma engavamile. Abaningi bethu kade bekhona, futhi kwabaningi namanje, lesi sihluku singase sisondele. Uma ikushaya, kungaba nzima ukuthola ukuthi yini okumele uyenze uma othile ekudlile. Ungakhathazeki, ngilapha ukuze ngisize ngalawa macebiso angu-7 asekelwe ochwepheshe okuthi ungabhekana kanjani nesipoki:

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izindlela Eziyisi-8 Ezihlakaniphile Zokubhekana Nokwenqatshwa Othandweni

1. Yazisa imizwa yakho

Ukuze ubhekane nokuba nesipoki, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uthandana noma usothandweni, udinga ukwamukela imizwa yakho futhi uzivumele uzwe ukudabuka, intukuthelo, ubuhlungu, ukukhashelwa, noma ukudideka onakho. Ukunciphisa imizwa yakho noma ukuyivimbela kungandisa inqubo yokuphulukisa futhi kuholele ezindleleni zokubhekana nazo ezingenampilo. 

Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uxhumano lwaluhlala isikhathi esifushane kangakanani, noma yimiphi imizwa oba nayo lapho uyisipoki iyasebenza. Ungazitsheli ngenye indlela. Umelaphi uDkt. Lisa Firestone uthi: “Ukwenqatshwa ngothando kungase kubangele imizwa yethu esengozini enkulu, “Ukuvuma ubuhlungu kuyisinyathelo sokuqala sokubuyeka.” 

2. Ungajahi ukuvala

Ukuqhubekela phambili ngaphandle kokuvalwa ingenye yezinto okunzima kakhulu ukuzenza. Kodwa-ke, uma othile ekhethe ukukufaka isipoki, ungaqiniseka ukuthi ngeke uzithole izimpendulo ozifunayo mayelana nokuthi kungani futhi kungani kukho konke. Ukube lo muntu ubenakho kuye ukuthi abe nalezi zingxoxo ezingakhululekile, ubengeke akulahlekise kwasekuqaleni. Gwema ukuzama ukuxhumana nesipoki ngethemba lokuthola incazelo ngokuziphatha kwaso. Uma usuthumele umlayezo noma emibili, zinike imvume yokuma futhi uqhubekele phambili, uthemba ukuthi ukuthula kwabo kuyazikhulumela.

3. Gwema ukuzigxeka

Ingabe kukhona okungalungile engikwenzile? Ingabe ngangiphushe kakhulu noma ngibambelele? Bengingemuhle ngokwanele? Le micabango izovela uma ubambana nombuzo othi, kungani umuntu ekudlisa umoya ngaphandle kwesizathu? Ungagxili kuzo. I-Ghosting isho okuningi mayelana umuntu owakuhlukumeza kunalokho okwenzayo ngawe. Ngokuvamile, izizathu azihlangene nawe. Gwema ukucabanga ukuthi kukhona okwenzile okungalungile.

4. Zijwayeze ukuzinakekela futhi ube nomusa kuwe 

Uma uncelisa inhliziyo ebuhlungu futhi ubhekene nemizwa enamandla kakhulu, kubaluleke kakhulu ukubeka phambili ukuzinakekela ukuphakamisa umoya wakho futhi uqinise umuzwa wakho wokuzethemba. “Lapho uzijwayeza ukuzinakekela, uzikhumbuza ukuthi ubalulekile, futhi akukho muntu ongakushintsha lokho,” kusho uchwepheshe wezempilo uJayne Hardy. Ngakho-ke, zinike isikhathi sokucwilisa emisebenzini ekulethela injabulo nokuthula, kungaba njalo, 

• Ukuchitha isikhathi nabangani
• Ukuthatha umsebenzi wokuzilibazisa
• Ukugxila emigomweni yakho
• Ukuziphathela into enhle

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: "I-Ex Yami Yaqhubeka Njengokungathi Ngingelutho": Amathiphu Okubhekana Nawo

5. Funda kokuhlangenwe nakho

Ukuba nesipoki ngokungangabazeki kuyinto ebuhlungu kodwa futhi kungaletha izifundo eziningi ezibalulekile ekuphileni kwakho. Mhlawumbe, uphuthelwe okuthile kusenesikhathi ubuhlobo amafulegi abomvu ngoba wawuthatheke kakhulu nalo muntu, kodwa manje, ngokubheka emuva, uyabona ukuthi izimpawu eziyisixwayiso zezidingo ezingalungile, imigomo, kanye nokulindela bekukhona ngaso sonke isikhathi. Sebenzisa lesi senzo ukuze wenze isiqiniseko sokuthi awukuvumeli lokho ukuthi kwenzeke futhi. Isibonelo, uma umuntu ebengahambisani nokuxhumana kusenesikhathi, kungenzeka kube wuphawu lokungafuni ukuzibophezela, ongakubuka ukuze uqhubekele phambili.

6. Ncika ohlelweni lwakho lokusekela

Uma uzizwa uwedwa noma ulahlekile noma ungafaneleki ngemva kokungenwa isipoki sophathina/intshisekelo yothando, ungaziwisi wedwa. Kunalokho, finyelela obathandayo—abangane nomndeni—ukuze bakusekele. Abantu abaseduze nawe bangakukhumbuza ukubaluleka kwakho futhi bakusize uhlele kabusha isimo. Ngaphandle kwalokho, lonke uthando nokusekela abangakunikeza kungakusiza ukuba ucoshe izingcezu futhi uye phambili. 

7. Cabangela ukufuna usizo lochwepheshe

Uma uzame konke okusemandleni akho kodwa ukuhlukumezeka ngokomzwelo kokushiywa ngumuntu omethembayo futhi watshala imali yakho ezintweni ezinkulu, kungase kudingeke ukuthi ucabangele ukufuna usizo lochwepheshe. Umelaphi angakunikeza imibono nokusekelwa okubalulekile, akuqondise emizweni yokulahlwa futhi asize ukwakha ukuqina. Uma ucabanga ukufuna usizo kodwa ungazi ukuthi ungaqala kuphi, ochwepheshe bezempilo yengqondo abanolwazi Iphaneli yeBonobology zilapha kuwe. 

Imicabango Final 

Nakuba isipoki sesamukelwe njengesu elikahle lokuphuma, kuza ngezindleko ezinkulu ezingokomzwelo. Ishiya inqwaba yemibuzo engaphenduleki nemizwa engaxazululeki, engenza kube nzima kumuntu ophethwe yimimoya ukuthi athole ukuvala aqhubeke. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, izipoki zingase zizithole zibhajwe emaphethini okugwema avimbela ukuxhumana okunempilo. Ukuxhumana okuqotho, noma ngabe kubonakala kunzima kangakanani okwamanje, kuhlale kuyindlela engcono uma kukhulunywa ngokuqeda ukuxhumana kwezothando. 

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Ungakuyeka Kanjani Ukucabanga Nge Ex Yakho? 11 Amathiphu Asekelwe Ochwepheshe

Amathiphu ayi-11 alula futhi asebenzayo okusinda ekudabukeni kwenhliziyo ngaphandle kokuziphula

Umnikelo wakho awuhlanganisi inhlangano esiza abantulayo umnikelo. Izovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolwakamuva emzamweni wethu wokusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.

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