Malangizo 9 Akatswiri Olimbikitsa Chiwopsezo Paubwenzi

Kufalitsa chikondi

Kuyamba kwanga pachiwopsezo paubwenzi kunabwera m'njira zochititsa manyazi kwambiri. Nthawi yoyamba yomwe bwenzi langa linanena kuti amandikonda, ndinathamangira mbali ina. Zaka ziwiri pambuyo pake, mkhalidwe wofananawo unachitika - mwachiwonekere ndi mtsikana wina. Nthawi imeneyi ndinali wokonzeka bwino. Ndinakhala nthawi yambiri ndikudzifunsa kuti, "Kodi zimatanthauza chiyani kuti ndikhale m'chikondi?" – yankho linali lodabwitsa.

Ambiri a ife tinakulira m’dera limene tinali kuphunzitsidwa chilichonse chokhudza kukhala abwino osati kukhala osangalala. Pafupifupi chilichonse chotizungulira chinalimbikitsa lingaliro lakuti kukhala “wabwino” kumatanthauza kudzimana chimwemwe chanu. Takhala tikukhazikitsidwa kuyambira tili achichepere kukhulupirira kuti sitiyenera kukhala osangalala ndi chikondi pokhapokha titayesetsabe. Chifukwa chake, timapanga chitetezo chodziteteza komanso kusapezeka kwamalingaliro komwe kuli pafupi nafe. Izi zimapangitsa kuti zikhale zovuta kwambiri kuti tiyime ndikulingalira - "Kodi kusatetezeka ndikofunikira mu ubale?"

Popeza ambiri aife timavutika kukumana ndi chiwopsezo muubwenzi, timavutikanso kumvetsetsa chisangalalo chenicheni cha chikondi chenicheni. Timasokoneza maubwenzi athu ngakhale titafuna kuti agwire ntchito. Osati chifukwa chakuti sitiwona kuwala kumapeto kwa ngalandeyo, koma chifukwa chakuti timapeza chitonthozo mu mdima umene watizinga.

Tiyeni tipeze chitsogozo chaukatswiri kuti tidutse mkanganowu kuchokera kwa mphunzitsi wamalingaliro abwino komanso oganiza bwino Pooja Priyamvada (yotsimikiziridwa mu Psychological and Mental Health First Aid yochokera kwa Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health ndi University of Sydney), yemwe amagwira ntchito yopereka uphungu wa zibwenzi kunja kwa banja, kulekana, kupatukana, chisoni, ndi kutayika.

Kodi Kukhala pachiopsezo ndi Wina Kumatanthauza Chiyani?

M'ndandanda wazopezekamo

Kusatetezeka m'malingaliro mu maubwenzi ndikuvomera kuti anthu omwe mumawakonda ali ndi mphamvu yakukhumudwitsani. Izi sizikutanthauza kuti ndinu wofooka, kapena kuti aliyense adzakhala wopusa ndikukunyengeni. Kukhala pachiwopsezo ndi umboni wa kulimba muubwenzi, osati kufooka. Kuwonetsa kusatetezeka pachibwenzi ndikudziyika nokha kunja ndikuyika pachiwopsezo chopatsa munthu wina mwayi wakukhumudwitsani.

Nthawi zambiri timapereka zitsanzo zolakwika za kukhala pachiwopsezo paubwenzi. Pamene mwamuna ali pachiopsezo, amayembekezeredwa kuledzera ndi kumuimbira bwenzi lake lakale monyoza kuti amamukondabe kwambiri. Pamene mkazi ali pachiwopsezo, timayembekezera sappy zolemba pama social media kuti aliyense awone. Chiwopsezo chenicheni chimafuna nkhani komanso kufunika kwake. Ndi kufotokoza zakukhosi kwanu kwa munthu wapadera.

Kodi Vulnerability Ndi Bwino Mu Ubale?

Mukafunsa, "Kodi kusatetezeka ndikofunikira muubwenzi?", choyamba muyenera kusankha mtundu wa chiwopsezo chomwe chili pansi pa sikani apa. Chiwopsezo chandalama? Ayi, sungani izo. Kusatetezeka m'malingaliro? Inde, muyenera. Ubwenzi uliwonse umakhala ndi nthawi yomwe timamva ngati sitikukhulupirira mnzathu kapena akutikhumudwitsa. Nthawi zomwe sitikutsimikiza ngati tili abwino mokwanira. Nthawi izi zikuwonetsa mphamvu ya kusatetezeka mu ubale.

M'malo mongoyang'ana pa mantha a chiwopsezo m'maubwenzi, tiyenera kukumbukira momwe zatithandizira kukhala amphamvu, okondana nawo okhulupirika. Ziyeneranso kuganiziridwa kuti ndi kangati zomwe zatsimikizira kuti mantha athu alibe maziko ndipo mnzathu ali pomwepo ndi ife, akugwira manja athu ndi kutithandiza kudutsa nthawi zovuta.

Ngati tiwona kusatetezeka mu maubwenzi ngati chinthu chomwe chimapangitsa maubwenzi athu kukhala abwino, zimakhala zosavuta kusiya kusamala. Ndiyeno, mwina, tikhoza kuona kukongola kwa kukhala pachiwopsezo. Mukakhala pachiwopsezo ndi munthu amene amakusamalirani komanso amalemekeza malire anu, mumapanga ubwenzi weniweni.

Malangizo 9 Akatswiri Olimbikitsa Chiwopsezo Paubwenzi

Kuyesera kukhala pachiwopsezo ndi munthu yemwe sangathe kulandira chiwopsezo chanu ndi tsoka. Koma munthu woyenera adzayamikira kusatetezeka kwanu ndikudzipereka kwambiri kwa inu chifukwa cha izo.

Posachedwapa ndinakambitsirana ndi mnzanga, ndipo anali kunena za zovuta zomwe amakumana nazo kuntchito. Anali atangokwezedwa kumene kukhala manejala ndipo kusinthaku sikunali kopanda nkhawa. Panali zinthu zambiri zomwe zinamupangitsa kuti azivutika maganizo, koma vuto linali lokhudzana ndi ubale wake ndi abwana ake. Panthawiyi, sindinkafuna china chilichonse kuposa kuti atsegule, andikhulupirire ndikundiuza zomwe zikuchitika. Koma iye sanatero.

Vuto pa mkhalidwewo silinali lakuti sanali kundikhulupirira kapena kuti sanafune kukhala pachiopsezo. Iye analibe mawu osonyeza kusatetezeka kwake. Kodi sichofala kwambiri panthawi ya chiwopsezo? Kukhala pachiwopsezo sizochitika nthawi zonse, ngakhale muubwenzi wapamtima. Imafunika kusonkhezeredwa mobwerezabwereza. Nawa maupangiri akatswiri okuthandizani kuti mukhale omasuka mukakumana ndi chiopsezo mu ubale wanu:

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Lumikizanani ndi Wokondedwa Wanu Pamlingo Wozama

1. Osawopa kufunsa mafunso

Njira yabwino yowonetsera kusatetezeka muubwenzi ndikuyika zoopsa ndi funsani mafunso ofunika kwa wokondedwa wanu. Yambani ndikudzifunsa mafunso ovuta ngati "Kodi ndi bwino kumupempha kuti akuthandizeni?" kapena “Kodi ndimuuze mmene ndikusangalalira panopa?” Ngakhale mukuwopa mayankho, kungofunsa mafunso kungathetse mantha ambiri.

2. Kuchita kumapangitsa kukhala wangwiro!

Pooja akufotokoza kuti: “Ngakhale m’maubwenzi athu apamtima kwambiri, nthaŵi zambiri sitiulula zofooka zathu.

Mukamayesetsa kukhala pachiwopsezo, zimakhala zosavuta. Kuopa kusatetezeka mu maubwenzi - monga mantha ena aliwonse - amakoka mphamvu zake kuchokera ku zosadziwika. Njira yokhayo yochigonjetsa ndi kuyang'anizana nacho mutu. Onetsetsani kuti mutsegule kwa mnzanuyo mpaka mutakhala wachiwiri.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kuopa Ubwenzi: Zizindikiro, Zoyambitsa & Njira Zogonjetsera Izi

3. Pezani munthu amene akufuna zinthu zofanana ndi zanu

Ndikofunikira kupeza munthu amene sangakuweruzeni kuti ndinu wosatetezeka. Wokondedwa wanu ayenera kukhala munthu amene amafuna zinthu zofanana ndi inu. Sadzagawana malingaliro omwewo - komanso sayenera - koma ayenera kukhala okonzeka kuvomereza ndikumvetsetsa momwe mumaganizira. Munthu akamvetsa mmene mukumvera pa moyo wanu, angakuthandizeni kuthana nazo bwino. Chofunika kwambiri, mnzanu amene amakumvetsetsani adzakuthandizani kuyika chiopsezo chenicheni muubwenzi.

Monga Pooja akunenera, "Kugwirizana ndiko kupeza munthu amene amafuna ubale womwewo monga mukuchitira. Ngati mutapeza munthu wofanana naye, ndiye kuti ubwenzi umenewo udzakhala wopindulitsa ndiponso wokhalitsa.”

Mphamvu ya kusatetezeka mu ubale — Kutsegulira mnzanu

4. Vomerezani zomwe mukuziopa

Pali mantha ambiri omwe amatilepheretsa kukhala pachiwopsezo ndi anzathu: kukanidwa ndi munthu amene umamukonda, kusekedwa, kuwonedwa ngati ofooka kuposa iwo. Ndikofunika kuti muvomereze mantha awa kuti muthe kukambirana nawo ndi wokondedwa wanu. Kupanda kutero, mantha amenewo adzasokoneza ubwenzi womwe nonse mukuufuna ndi kuulakalaka. Ndizothandizanso kuvomereza kuti kukhala pachiwopsezo sikophweka nthawi zonse kapena kumasuka - wokondedwa wanu sangachite momwe mumayembekezera, koma mukatero, zimamuwonetsa kuti ndinu ozama paubwenzi wanu.

5. Lankhulani zomwe mukufuna kuchokera kwa wina ndi mzake

Ngati mukumva kuwawa kapena kukwiyitsidwa pachibwenzi, mwayi ndi woti pali kusiyana pakati pa zomwe wina akupereka ndi zomwe winayo akufuna. Kuti mukhale pachiwopsezo wina ndi mzake, muyenera kudzaza mipatayo mwa kulankhulana. Uzani mnzanu zomwe mumayembekezera kwambiri kwa iwo ndipo muwafunse kuti achite chimodzimodzi.

6 Khalani osatetezeka ndi inu nokha

Pooja anati: “Pamafunika kulimba mtima kwambiri kuti munthu aulule zofooka za mnzako monga mmene zimakhalira kuti udzizindikire wekha.

Monga kusintha kulikonse kwatanthauzo m'moyo, kukhala pachiwopsezo ndichinthu chomwe muyenera kuyamba kuchita ndi inu nokha. Mukakhala omasuka ndi kusatetezeka kwanu, kukhala pachiwopsezo muubwenzi kumakhala kosavuta.

7. Osadzitchinjiriza

Wokondedwa wanu akamalankhula nkhani yomwe sakudalira, musamakangane kapena kumudula mawu. Zingasokoneze zonse zomwe zikuchitika m'malo mozikhudza bwino. Adziwitseni kuti mukumvetsera komanso kuti ndinu okonzeka kufufuza njira zothandiza zothetsera mavuto anu paubwenzi.

8. Ganizirani zomwe mumapeza chifukwa chokhala pachiwopsezo pakati panu.

Kuti mugonjetse kuopa kukhala pachiwopsezo, ganizirani za zomwe mwapindula chifukwa chomasuka ndi wina ndi mnzake. Anthu amasintha ndikukula kudzera mu maubwenzi, ndipo amavulazidwanso nthawi zina. Ngati mukulolera kukhala pachiwopsezo wina ndi mnzake, mutha kuthana ndi zowawa mwanjira yathanzi. Chiwopsezo ndi nyonga muubwenzi chifukwa zikutanthauza kuti awiriwo akufuna kuchitira zinthu limodzi.

9. Yankhani moyenerera ngati simukukhulupirirani

Pooja anati, “Inde, nthawi zina okondedwa wanu akhoza kukana, kukugwiritsani ntchito molakwika kapena kuchititsa manyazi chifukwa cha kusatetezeka kwanu. Ndi zinthu zomvetsa chisoni kwambiri kukhalamo. jambulani malire omveka bwino, khalani pamalo anu otetezeka, ndipo kambirananinso mbali zonse za ubalewo.”

Ngati kunyalanyazidwa kapena kukanidwa - kapena kuchitiridwa nkhanza - ndi munthu amene mumamukonda, ndiye kuti ndikofunikira kuti mupeze njira yotulutsira zakukhosi kwanu mwachangu zitachitika kuti zisakule mkati mwanu.

Maganizo ndi ovuta komanso osokoneza. Nthawi zina sitingadziwe zimene tikufuna, ngakhalenso mmene tingafotokozere ena. Koma podziwonetsera nokha zenizeni, mumachulukitsa kuchuluka kwa anthu omwe ali pagulu lanu lothandizira. Zimakupatsirani zinthu zambiri zoti mugwiritse ntchito popanga zisankho - komanso mwayi wochulukirapo wopeza munthu amene angakuthandizeni pamavuto anu amalingaliro.

Kukhala pachiwopsezo paubwenzi ndikofunikira kwambiri m'moyo wanu wachikondi, ndipo kungakhale kosavuta kuiwala kufunikira kwake mukamayang'ana mbali zina zaubwenzi. Ngati inu ndi wokondedwa wanu mukulimbana ndi nkhaniyi, yesani kuyifikira mbali zonse. Lankhulani nawo momasuka ndi moona mtima ndipo ganizirani zosowa zawo monga momwe mukuyembekezera. Muyenera kuphunzira za machitidwe omwe amakupangitsani nonse kumva kukhala otetezeka kukhala pachiwopsezo wina ndi mnzake. Mudzathana nazo limodzi ngati nonse mutayesetsa. Gulu la akatswiri ku Bonobology lingakuthandizeni kuchita izi, ndipo ndizotheka kudina kutali.

Zopereka zanu sizikupanga zachifundo Mphatso. Zilola kuti Bonobology ipitilize kukubweretserani zidziwitso zatsopano komanso zaposachedwa pakufuna kwathu kuthandiza aliyense padziko lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.