Momwe Mungalumikizire Ndi Bwenzi Lanu Pamlingo Wozama - Katswiri Amathandiza

Kulimba kwa ubale uliwonse kumadalira maziko ake. Kumayambiriro kwa ubale wanga wapano, ndimaganiza kuti tifika pachimake posachedwa. Ndipo mkati mwa masabata angapo, ndinali ndikudabwa kale momwe mungalumikizire ndi wokondedwa wanu pamlingo wozama. Mukuwona, ndimaganiza za ine ngati wafilosofi yemwe amakonda kusinkhasinkha za moyo ndi luso. Mnzanga, kumbali ina, ndi munthu wadziko lapansi, mapazi okhazikika pansi ndi malingaliro okhazikika mu bizinesi ya moyo. Zimenezi n’zimene zinayambitsa kusiyana pakati pathu. Choncho tinayenera kukumana ndi mavuto kuyambira pachiyambi.

Izi zati, sitinalole kuti izi zisokoneze ubale wathu kapena chikondi chathu. Tinkadziwa kuti tikufuna kupanga ntchitoyi ndipo tinayesetsa kuti tigwirizane mozama. Ndikamacheza naye kwambiri za zinthu zimene ndimakonda, m’pamenenso ndinayamba kudziwa za makhalidwe ake oipa, omwe ndi osiyana kwambiri ndi anga. Koma zimenezo sizinandipangitse kuti ndizimukonda.

Ndipotu, ndinayamba kuyamikira momwe amaonera moyo komanso kumvetsetsa momwe ubongo wake umagwirira ntchito. Izi zinandilimbikitsa kufunitsitsa kukhala ndi mgwirizano wozama muubwenzi. Kufufuza kumeneku kunandipangitsa kuzindikira kuti pakhoza kukhala ena ambiri omwe akuyenda m'madzi ofanana. Pamodzi, tiyeni tiwone moona mtima momwe mungalumikizane ndi mnzanu pamlingo wozama, ndi chidziwitso kuchokera kwa katswiri wa zamaganizo Nandita Rambhia (BA Psychology), yemwe ndi katswiri pa nkhani zokhudzana ndi kuyanjana, nkhani za kulera ana, komanso uphungu wa chibwenzi kunja kwa ukwati.

Kodi Kukhala ndi Chiyanjano Chozama Mu Ubale Kumatanthauza Chiyani?

Chinthu choyamba chimene ndinaphunzira m’kalasi langa la Sociology n’chakuti anthu ndi nyama zamagulu. Monga momwe ndikuvomereza mfundoyi, ndikuganiza kuti pali chinthu chimodzi chomwe chimatilekanitsa ndi zinyama, ndikuti timabadwa ndi njira zosagwirizana ndi zomwe zilipo komanso zomwe zilipo. Kodi munayamba mwadzifunsapo kuti n’chifukwa chiyani ana obadwa m’mimba imodzi, amene amafika padziko lapansi limodzi, amakhala ndi umunthu ndi mikhalidwe yosiyana? Chinthu chimodzi chimene chimatilekanitsa ndi zinyama n’chakuti tonsefe sitifanana. Timabweretsa zovuta zathu komanso zovuta zathu kudziko lino, zomwe zimapangitsa kukondana ndi munthu wina kukhala kovuta kwambiri kuyenda.

Ndicho chifukwa chake zimakhala zovuta kudziwa mnzanu mozama. Kukhala ndi ubale wozama ndi munthu kumatanthauza kumumvetsa bwino, kumumvera chisoni, ndikudziwa chifukwa chake ali momwe alili, kuphatikizapo mavuto ake akale, mantha awo, mphamvu zawo, zofooka zawo, ndi chilichonse chokhudza iye mkati, komanso kuwapatsa malo awoawo . Ubale womwe umapitirira maubwenzi ena a anthu.

Malinga ndi Nandita , "Kukhala paubwenzi ndi wokondedwa wanu kudzathandiza kulimbitsa ubale wanu ndi mnzanu ndipo pali zinthu zingapo kupatula kungokondana naye kapena kusangalala limodzi. Izi zokha sizingayankhe funso lanu la momwe mungalumikizane ndi mnzanu pamlingo wozama. Yesani kugwirizana naye pamlingo wosiyanasiyana. Mwachitsanzo, mutha kukambirana naye za mavuto anu okhudzana ndi ntchito. Ngati mulibe zosangalatsa zofanana, ndiye kuti mutenge nawo mbali pazokonda zawo ndikupanga ubale wozama ndi chibwenzi/bwenzi/bwenzi lanu. Koma ndi chinthu chomwe muyenera kugwira ntchito nthawi zonse."

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Zifukwa 11 Zomwe Muyenera Kukhalira Pachibwenzi ndi Munthu Wanu Wam'mbali

Momwe Mungalumikizire Ndi Wokondedwa Wanu Pamlingo Wozama - Njira 7 Zosavuta

Kungoti inu ndi mnzanuyo mwadziwana kwa nthawi yaitali sizikutanthauza kuti mukhoza kusiya kuphunzira zinthu zatsopano zokhudza iwo. Ndipotu zilibe kanthu kuti mwakhala limodzi kwa nthawi yaitali bwanji. Mudzakhala mukuwerenga mutu watsopano wokhudza iwo, kutembenuza tsamba latsopano, kapena kuwawona m'njira yatsopano yomwe simunachitepo kale. Chikondi chingakhale chotere, choncho konzekerani kudabwa! Koma zimenezo si zoipa kwenikweni. Kwenikweni si chinthu choipa nkomwe. Makamaka pamene inu Ace luso la mmene kugwirizana ndi mnzanuyo pa mlingo wozama.

Ndinawerengapo mawu olimbikitsa kwambiri. Limati, “Kukonda munthu kwa nthawi yayitali ndiko kupirira maliro ambirimbiri a anthu omwe anali kale.” N’zomvetsa chisoni bwanji! Anthu, maganizo awo, zomwe amakonda ndi zomwe sakonda, zonse zimakhala zosinthasintha. Sitingathe kunena chilichonse m’moyo wothamanga uwu kuti ndi chosasintha. Mmene timakhalira kumanga ubale wolimba, wosagwedezeka ngakhale kuti pali mavuto ambiri komanso kusatetezeka muubwenzi ndiye chinthu chofunika kwambiri.

Kuti mugwirizane m'maganizo ndi mnzanuyo, muyenera kumva kuti ndinu otetezeka komanso otetezeka pamaso pawo. Muyenera kugawana nawo chikondi ndi chitonthozo chomwe simungathe kumva kwina kulikonse. Simungathe kumanga ubale wozama ndi bwenzi lanu kapena bwenzi lanu kapenanso mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu ngati wina wa inu akuwonetsa kusamvetsetsana. Ngati mukufunadi kulimbitsa kulumikizana kwanu ndi SO yanu, dutsani masitepe asanu ndi awiri amomwe mungalumikizire ndi bwenzi lanu mozama ndikuyesera kuzigwiritsa ntchito paubwenzi wanu:

1. Kulankhulana ndiye chinsinsi

Kodi mumalumikizana bwanji ndi munthu mozama pakanthawi kochepa? Sindingathe kutsindika kufunika kolankhulana ndi wokondedwa wanu mokwanira, makamaka pamene nonse mukufuna kuchita mofulumira komanso mu nthawi yochepa. Kulankhulana sikutanthauza kutulutsa kapena kutulutsa malingaliro anu osasefedwa ndikuyembekezera kuti winayo azichita bwino. Kumatanthauza kukambitsirana komwe kumaphatikizapo kuona mtima kotheratu. Ndipo kulankhulana sikumangotanthauza kulankhula, kumatanthauzanso kumvetsera.

Mwachidule, kulankhulana kumaphatikizapo ma C asanu: omveka, achidule, okakamiza, okonda chidwi, ndi achifundo. Kulankhulana kuti mumvetsere zomwe wina akunena, popanda chinkhoswe kumbali yanu, sikungakuthandizeni pamene cholinga chanu chiri kuphunzira kumanga ubale wozama ndi mnzanuyo. 

Funsani mafunso ndi kudziwa momwe mumamudziwira mnzanu . "Pamene ubale ukukula, ndikofunikira kukhala wotseguka ku zokambirana, mikangano, ndi kusagwirizana kulikonse. Kuvomereza kusagwirizana kwanu kudzakuthandizani kumudziwa bwino mnzanuyo. Kuyesa kumvetsetsa komwe akuchokera kudzakuthandizani kumanga ubale wolimba ndi mnzanuyo," akutero Nandita.

2. Momwe mungalumikizire ndi okondedwa wanu mozama? Khalani achifundo kwambiri

Pamene tikukhala m'chivundikiro, m'pamenenso timachepa chifundo ndi anthu ena. Kukhala wachifundo kwa wokondedwa wanu ndi yankho la momwe mungamangire ubale wozama ndi mnzanuyo. Kumvetsetsa ndiye khomo la chikondi ndi chifundo ngati mukufunadi kulumikizana ndi mkazi kapena mwamuna. Kuti mumvetse bwino mnzanuyo, muyenera kudziwa kusiyana pakati pa chifundo ndi chifundo.

Kumvera chisoni kungakubweretsereni pafupi ndi mnzanu pomwe chifundo chingakulepheretseni kapena kukukhumudwitsani wokondedwa wanu. Dziyerekezeni nokha mukamayesa kudziwana bwino ndi mnzanuyo. Kusonyeza kusamvera chisoni kungathe kuwononga ubale wanu. Nandita akuti, "Lumikizanani ndi mnzanuyo pamlingo wozama m'malo mogawana naye ubale wamba. Pali zinthu zina m'miyoyo yathu zomwe sitigawana ndi ena, koma ndikofunikira kulankhula ndi mnzanuyo za iwo.

Izi zingaphatikizepo zinthu zachinsinsi kwa inu komanso zokhumudwitsa pang'ono monga zabanja, zowawa paubwana, kusadzidalira, kapena matenda amisala.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Njira 8 Zothetsera Mikangano Mu Ubale Zomwe Zimathandiza Nthawi Zonse

3. Yambani kugawana zofooka za wina ndi mzake

Kusatetezeka ndi kufunitsitsa kwa munthu kuika pachiswe malingaliro ake, malingaliro ake, ndi zofooka zake poziulula kwa munthu wina. Ndi chimodzi mwa zosowa zambiri zamaganizo muubwenzi . Kugawana malingaliro anu akuya ndi kulola SO yanu kuyankha pazinthu zomwe zimakukhudzani kwambiri ndikukupwetekani ndi mtundu wa kutseguka kwamalingaliro komwe kungakuthandizeni bwino ngati mukuyesera kupeza momwe mungalumikizane ndi mnzanu pamlingo wozama.

Pachiwopsezo komanso kumasuka kwa okondedwa wanu, Nandita akuti, "Khalani pachiwopsezo. Ndi chimodzi mwazinthu zokongola kwambiri chifukwa mumalumikizana nawo mozama. Gawani zosatetezeka zanu ndikuchita momasuka momwe mungathere. Yesani ndikulankhula za zinthu zomwe zidakuumbani m'mbuyomu. Ngati muli ndi zowawa zilizonse kapena zosokonezeka m'maganizo, khalani omasuka kugawana nawo momasuka ndi okondedwa wanu, kudziwa momwe mungalumikizire bwenzi lanu. moona mtima za momwe mukumvera komanso kusamala wokondedwa wanu.

"Nthawi yomweyo, zimakhala zofunikira kuti mukhulupirire mnzanu. Pangani ubale wolimba ndi chibwenzi chanu mwa kuwakhulupirira kwathunthu. Mutha kuyesanso machitidwe ena odalirika kuti mulimbikitse ubale wanu. Mukakhulupirira mnzanuyo, mudzatha kugawana zofooka zanu. Akamavutika ndikugawana malingaliro awo amkati kapena nkhani zakale, musamaweruze. Musamaweruze mwa kunena kuti izi ndi zoyipa kapena izi sizinthu zoyenera kumva. Ingovomerezani zomwe mnzanuyo akunena."

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Mikangano 11 ya Ubale Yomwe Imayambitsa Chiwonongeko cha Ubwenzi Wanu

4. Yang'anani mnzanuyo muzochita zake

Kuti mupange kulumikizana mozama ndi SO yanu, muyenera kuziwona. Awonetseni akuchita zinthu zomwe amazikonda kwambiri. Poyamba, ndinkaona kuti n’zodabwitsa kuti mnzanga ankandionera ndikuwerenga ndi kulemba. Amangondiyang'ana ndikamatsegula masamba kapena kulemba pa laputopu yanga. M'masiku oyambirira a chibwenzi chathu, nthawi yomweyo ankayang'ana kwinakwake akagwidwa akundiyang'anitsitsa.

Ubwenzi wathu utakula, anayamba kuchita zimenezi poyera. Tsopano sachita mantha ndikayang'ana mmwamba kuchokera m'buku langa ndipo maso athu akukumana. Zimandipangitsabe manyazi . Anaona kuti ndimagwedeza nkhope yanga ndipo ananena kuti ndimathinya kwambiri ndikawerenga kapena kulemba. Ndi njira yapafupi komanso yobisika yolumikizirana kwambiri muubwenzi.

Kodi mumalumikizana bwanji ndi munthu mozama pakanthawi kochepa? Dzifunseni mafunso ofunikawa, ndipo n’zimene zingakufikitseni kufupi nawo. Kodi gawo la mnzanu ndi chiyani? Mpira? Kuyimba chida? Kuphika? Kuphika? Chilichonse chomwe chiri, pitani mukawone iwo akuchita ndipo mudzadziwa mwachibadwa momwe mungalumikizire ndi mnzanu mozama. M'malo mwake, mudzayamba kuyandikira pafupi nawo kuyambira nthawi yomweyo.

5. Momwe mungalumikizire ndi okondedwa wanu mozama? Nthawi zonse amafunsa mafunso opanda mayankho

Kufunsa mafunso oyenera panthawi yoyenera kungakuthandizeni kumvetsetsa bwino mnzanuyo. Funsani mafunso kuti mukambirane momasuka ndi wokondedwa wanu. Ndikudziwa kuti tonsefe tili otanganidwa ndi miyoyo yathu ... ntchito, kulipira mabilu, kusamalira thanzi lathu la maganizo ndi zina zotero. Musagwiritse ntchito maudindo amenewa ngati zifukwa, m'malo mwake yesani kuwathetsa.

Ndikofunikira kwambiri kufunsa mafunso ndipo koposa zonse, kupatula nthawi yowawonetsa chidwi chotere. Poganizira za kuchepa kwa mnzanga amene ndimamudziwa komanso mmene timatanganidwa ndi ntchito yathu, ndinaganiza zoti ndiyambe kumufunsa mafunso omasuka. Ndimawafunsa pamene tikuyendetsa galimoto kuti tikagule kapena tikakhala pansi kuti tidye. Ngakhale zizikhala zapakatikati kapena mwachisawawa, ndizovuta zomwe ndakhala ndikuchita nthawi zonse.

Kufunsa mafunso oterowo kunandithandiza kumvetsetsa chifukwa chake anatenga udindo wa kholo lotsalalo pambuyo pa imfa ya mnzakeyo. Ndinazindikira kuti sindine ndekha amene ndinalowa muubwenzi umenewu ndi katundu wambiri komanso chisoni. "Kankhirani wina ndi mnzake munjira yoyenera ndikuthandizana wina ndi mnzake kukhala wodziyimira pawokha. Alimbikitseni. Alimbikitseni. Funsani mafunso opusa komanso oseketsa. Funsani mafunso opotoka. Apangitseni kuganiza, ndikudzipangitsa kuganiza. Ndilo yankho lanu losavuta la momwe mungalumikizire ndi bwenzi lanu mozama," akutero Nandita.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Njira 9 Zothanirana ndi Mwamuna Wosathandiza

6. Pangani zikumbukiro zabwino pamodzi

"Yesani kuseka limodzi kwambiri. Khalani opusa. Chitani zinthu zomwe zingakubweretsereni pafupi. Pangani zokumbukira ndikukhala inu nokha. Gulani limodzi, onerani makanema, ndikuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi limodzi. Khalani osangalala pamalo amenewo omwe ndi anu ndipo muwapange kukhala okondedwa momwe mungathere," Nandita akulangizani momwe mungalumikizane ndi mnzanu pamlingo wozama. Momwemonso, ngati mukudabwa momwe mungalumikizire ndi munthu wina mkati mwa nthawi yochepa, kupanga zokumbukira zatsopano ndiye njira, ndipo ndikofunikira kwambiri muubwenzi uliwonse.

M'malo mwake, ngakhale mutakhala pachibwenzi chotalikirana, mutha kukulitsa ubale pamameseji ndi mafoni bola mutakhala ndi nthawi yabwino ndi wina ndi mnzake. Kukonda wokondedwa wanu kwambiri kumakhala kosavuta mukakhala ndi thunthu lodzaza ndi kukumbukira. Zokumbukira zomwe mungayang'ane ndikumwetulira ndikuziphonya pomwe palibe.

Pezani zomwe mumakonda, pitani pamasiku, idyani chakudya chonse limodzi ngati nonse muli kunyumba, ndipo limbitsani ubale wanu ndi mnzanuyo. Mu maubwenzi apatali, gwiritsani ntchito mphamvu za malo a pa intaneti kuti mulumikizane, museke wina ndi mzake, ndi kupanga zikumbukiro monga momwe mungachitire pamaso panu. Pamene inu ndi wokondedwa wanu muli ndi mphamvu mu malingaliro a wina ndi mzake, ndipamene inu nonse mudzamva ngati banja.

7. Fufuzani mbali zanu zogonana pamodzi

Tsopano, zinthu zatsala pang'ono kukhala zosangalatsa, koma tiyeni tipitilizebe kuyang'ana pa zomwe zimakupangitsani kukhala paubwenzi ndi okondedwa wanu mozama komanso muuzimu. Mukamaganiza zogonana, kodi munganene kuti mwina “ubwenzi” ndi chinthu choyamba chimene chimabwera m’maganizo mwanu? Chifukwa nthawi zonse ndimaganiza za kugonana ngati malo oti ndimve ngati ndimawonedwa, wokondedwa, komanso womasuka kufotokoza zakukhosi.

Anthu okwatirana ambiri amakopeka ndi kugonana kwachisawawa akamacheza kwa nthawi yaitali. Pewani nazo pokulitsa ndi kufufuza zilakolako za wina ndi mzake zakugonana. Khalani omasuka ndi oona mtima pa zosowa zanu. Ngati mukufunsa momwe mungalumikizire bwenzi lanu pamlingo wozama, ndiye lolani kuti mufufuze malingaliro anu ndi a mnzanuyo popanda manyazi ndikudzipereka kwathunthu ku zilakolako zakuya za wina ndi mnzake. Zidzakuthandizani kuti mugwirizane ndi mnzanuyo ndikuwonjezeranso kuya kwa chidziwitso, mosiyana ndi chirichonse chomwe mudamvapo.

Kodi Kukhala ndi Ubale Wakuya Ndi Wokondedwa Wanu Kumathandiza Bwanji Ubwenzi Wanu?

Ndizowona kuti kukhala ndi kulumikizana kozama, kokhalitsa ndi bwenzi lanu ndikoyeneradi pachibwenzi chanu. Koma kodi zimenezi zimachitika bwanji? Kodi ubale wanu umayenda bwino bwanji pambuyo pake? Nazi njira zingapo:

• Kukhala okoma mtima pa mikangano: Mukakhala ndi chifundo ndi chikondi kwa wokondedwa wanu, n'zoonekeratu kuti zopusa mikangano ya ubale sichidzasokonezanso moyo wanu wachikondi. Mukawona mnzanuyo momwe alili ndikumvetsetsa zizolowezi zawo, simungatengere njira yokwiya pamakangano ndipo m'malo mwake mutenge njira yolimbikitsa.
• Pali kumvetsetsa bwino kwamakhalidwe awo: Tsopano popeza mwatsiriza maphunziro a zowawa za mnzanu zakale, mbiri ya ubale, ndi zina zotero, mutha kumvetsetsa bwino momwe amachitira ndi momwe angathanirane ndi vutoli. N’chifukwa chiyani amadana kwambiri ndi mfundo ya ukwati? Mwina chifukwa chakuti makolo awo analibe munthu wabwino. Nchifukwa chiyani samatchula nkomwe ex wawo? Mwina chifukwa wakale wawo adawapweteka m'njira yomwe palibe amene adachitapo kale
• Malo osatetezeka ali ochepa: Mukakhala pachiwopsezo chambiri ndi munthu wina komanso kukhala womasuka zikafika powafotokozera, mumamva kuti ndinu ovomerezeka, okondedwa, komanso osamalidwa. Izi ndithudi zimapita kutali kukuthandizani kuchotsa kusatetezeka kwanu mozungulira iwo ndi chiyanjano
• Mudzakopeka wina ndi mzake: Inde, kugwirizana kozama kungapereke njira ku kukopa kwa maginito. Mukayamba kugwira ntchito paubwenzi ndikuyesera kukulitsa ndi kukulitsa ubalewo, mudzamvanso chikondi ndi kukopeka kwambiri.
• Kuphunzira zinthu zatsopano: Kukula kwanu monga munthu kudzalimbikitsidwanso mukayika mtundu uwu khama mu ubale. Sikuti mudzangophunzira za mnzanu, muphunziranso malingaliro atsopano ndi zinthu zatsopano za dziko lapansi, zomwe zingakuthandizeni kukula ngati munthu.

Musasiye kufuna kudziwa zambiri za mnzanu. Lankhulani kuti mulumikizane, mugwirizane, ndikumvetsetsa nkhawa ndi chisangalalo cha mnzanu. Moyo nthawi zonse suli ngati utawaleza ndi dzuwa, akakhala ndi vuto, khalani nawo. Kukhululuka muubwenzi ndikofunikira. Musasunge chakukhosi kwa nthawi yayitali kapena kungafooketse kudzipereka kwanu kwa wina ndi mnzake. Gonjetsani mavuto ndi zovuta pamodzi ngati banja ndipo tulukani mwamphamvu kuposa kale lonse.

Zizindikiro 10 za Ubale Wathanzi

8 Njira Zothetsera Mikangano mu Maubwenzi Omwe Amagwira Ntchito Nthawi Zonse

Kodi Chikondi Chenicheni? Mfundo 10 Zoti Mudziwe Ngati Ndi Chikondi Chanu Choona Kapena Ayi

Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.

Onani Ndondomeko Yathu Yolembera

Kumanani ndi Bungwe Lathu Lowunika

Gawani Ndemanga

Ndemanga zanu ndi zotani?

×

zothandiza Nenani Cholakwika Zina

kugonjera