Momwe Mungalumikizire Ndi Bwenzi Lanu Pamlingo Wozama - Katswiri Amathandiza

Kulimba kwa ubale uliwonse kumadalira maziko ake. Kumayambiriro kwa ubale wanga wapano, ndimaganiza kuti tifika pachimake posachedwa. Ndipo mkati mwa masabata angapo, ndinali ndikudabwa kale momwe mungalumikizire ndi wokondedwa wanu pamlingo wozama. Mukuwona, ndimaganiza za ine ngati wafilosofi yemwe amakonda kusinkhasinkha za moyo ndi luso. Mnzanga, kumbali ina, ndi munthu wadziko lapansi, mapazi okhazikika pansi ndi malingaliro okhazikika mu bizinesi ya moyo. Zimenezi n’zimene zinayambitsa kusiyana pakati pathu. Choncho tinayenera kukumana ndi mavuto kuyambira pachiyambi.

Izi zati, sitinalole kuti izi zisokoneze ubale wathu kapena chikondi chathu. Tinkadziwa kuti tikufuna kupanga ntchitoyi ndipo tinayesetsa kuti tigwirizane mozama. Ndikamacheza naye kwambiri za zinthu zimene ndimakonda, m’pamenenso ndinayamba kudziwa za makhalidwe ake oipa, omwe ndi osiyana kwambiri ndi anga. Koma zimenezo sizinandipangitse kuti ndizimukonda.

Ndipotu ndinayamba kuyamikira mmene amaonera moyo komanso mmene ubongo wake umagwirira ntchito. Izi zinakulitsa kutsimikiza mtima kwanga kuti ndikhale ndi mgwirizano wozama muubwenzi. Kufufuza kumeneku kunandipangitsa kuzindikira kuti pangakhale ena ambiri omwe akuyenda m'madzi ofanana. Pamodzi, tiyeni tiwone moona mtima momwe mungalumikizire ndi mnzanu mozama, ndi chidziwitso kuchokera kwa akatswiri azamisala. Nandita Rambhia (BA Psychology), yemwe amayang'anira nkhani zofananira, nkhani zakulera, komanso upangiri wa zibwenzi zakunja.

Kodi Kukhala ndi Chiyanjano Chozama Mu Ubale Kumatanthauza Chiyani?

Chinthu choyamba chimene ndinaphunzira m’kalasi langa la Sociology n’chakuti anthu ndi nyama zamagulu. Monga momwe ndikuvomereza mfundoyi, ndikuganiza kuti pali chinthu chimodzi chomwe chimatilekanitsa ndi zinyama, ndikuti timabadwa ndi njira zosagwirizana ndi zomwe zilipo komanso zomwe zilipo. Kodi munayamba mwadzifunsapo kuti n’chifukwa chiyani ana obadwa m’mimba imodzi, amene amafika padziko lapansi limodzi, amakhala ndi umunthu ndi mikhalidwe yosiyana? Chinthu chimodzi chimene chimatilekanitsa ndi zinyama n’chakuti tonsefe sitifanana. Timabweretsa zovuta zathu komanso zovuta zathu kudziko lino, zomwe zimapangitsa kukondana ndi munthu wina kukhala kovuta kwambiri kuyenda.

Ichi ndichifukwa chake zimakhala zovuta kudziwana bwino ndi mnzanuyo mozama. Kukhala ndi chiyanjano chozama ndi munthu kumatanthauza kumumvetsa bwino, kumumvera chisoni, ndi kudziwa chifukwa chake ali momwe alili, kuphatikizapo zowawa zawo zakale, mantha awo, mphamvu zawo, zofooka zawo, ndi chirichonse chokhudza iye mkati, ndikumupatsanso. malo awo enieni. Kulumikizana komwe kumapitilira kugwirizana kwa anthu. 

Malinga ndi Nandita"Kugwirizana ndi okondedwa anu kudzakuthandizani kulimbitsa ubale wanu ndi okondedwa wanu ndipo pali zinthu zingapo pa izo osati kungokondana nawo kapena kusangalala limodzi." Izi zokha sizingayankhe funso lanu la momwe mungalumikizire ndi wokondedwa wanu pamlingo wozama. Yesani kugwirizana nawo pamagulu angapo. Mwachitsanzo, mukhoza kulankhula nawo za nkhani zanu zokhudzana ndi ntchito. chibwenzi/msungwana/mnzako koma ndichinthu chomwe umayenera kuchigwirira ntchito nthawi zonse.

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Momwe Mungalumikizire Ndi Wokondedwa Wanu Pamlingo Wozama - Njira 7 Zosavuta

Kungoti inu ndi mnzanuyo mwadziwana kwa nthawi yaitali sizikutanthauza kuti mukhoza kusiya kuphunzira zinthu zatsopano zokhudza iwo. Ndipotu zilibe kanthu kuti mwakhala limodzi kwa nthawi yaitali bwanji. Mudzakhala mukuwerenga mutu watsopano wokhudza iwo, kutembenuza tsamba latsopano, kapena kuwawona m'njira yatsopano yomwe simunachitepo kale. Chikondi chingakhale chotere, choncho konzekerani kudabwa! Koma zimenezo si zoipa kwenikweni. Kwenikweni si chinthu choipa nkomwe. Makamaka pamene inu Ace luso la mmene kugwirizana ndi mnzanuyo pa mlingo wozama.

Nthawi ina ndinawerenga mawu opatsa chidwi kwambiri. Zimamveka motere, "Kukonda munthu kwa nthawi yayitali ndikudutsa maliro chikwi cha anthu omwe anali kale." Zokhudza mtima bwanji! Anthu, malingaliro awo, zomwe amakonda ndi zomwe sakonda, zonse zimakhala zamphamvu. Sitingatchule chilichonse m'moyo wothamangawu kukhala chosakhazikika. Momwe timatha kumanga mgwirizano wolimba, wosagwedezeka ngakhale katundu yense ndi kusatetezeka mu ubale ndi zomwe zili zofunika.

Kuti mugwirizane m'maganizo ndi mnzanuyo, muyenera kumva kuti ndinu otetezeka komanso otetezeka pamaso pawo. Muyenera kugawana nawo chikondi ndi chitonthozo chomwe simungathe kumva kwina kulikonse. Simungathe kumanga ubale wozama ndi bwenzi lanu kapena bwenzi lanu kapenanso mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu ngati wina wa inu akuwonetsa kusamvetsetsana. Ngati mukufunadi kulimbitsa kulumikizana kwanu ndi SO yanu, dutsani masitepe asanu ndi awiri amomwe mungalumikizire ndi bwenzi lanu mozama ndikuyesera kuzigwiritsa ntchito paubwenzi wanu:

1. Kulankhulana ndiye chinsinsi

Kodi mumalumikizana bwanji ndi munthu mozama pakanthawi kochepa? Sindingathe kutsindika kufunika kolankhulana ndi wokondedwa wanu mokwanira, makamaka pamene nonse mukufuna kuchita mofulumira komanso mu nthawi yochepa. Kulankhulana sikutanthauza kutulutsa kapena kutulutsa malingaliro anu osasefedwa ndikuyembekezera kuti winayo azichita bwino. Kumatanthauza kukambitsirana komwe kumaphatikizapo kuona mtima kotheratu. Ndipo kulankhulana sikumangotanthauza kulankhula, kumatanthauzanso kumvetsera.

Mwachidule, kulankhulana kumaphatikizapo ma C asanu: omveka, achidule, okakamiza, okonda chidwi, ndi achifundo. Kulankhulana kuti mumvetsere zomwe wina akunena, popanda chinkhoswe kumbali yanu, sikungakuthandizeni pamene cholinga chanu chiri kuphunzira kumanga ubale wozama ndi mnzanuyo. 

Funsani mafunso ndikutsimikiza mumamudziwa bwino mnzako. “Pamene ubwenziwo ukukulirakulira, m’pofunika kukhala womasuka ku makambitsirano amtundu uliwonse, mikangano, ndi mikangano.” Kuvomereza kusiyana maganizo kwanu kudzakuthandizani kumudziŵa bwino mnzanuyo mozama. anatero Nandita. 

2. Momwe mungalumikizire ndi okondedwa wanu mozama? Khalani achifundo kwambiri

Pamene tikukhala m'chivundikiro, m'pamenenso timachepa chifundo ndi anthu ena. Kukhala wachifundo kwa wokondedwa wanu ndi yankho la momwe mungamangire ubale wozama ndi mnzanuyo. Kumvetsetsa ndiye khomo la chikondi ndi chifundo ngati mukufunadi kulumikizana ndi mkazi kapena mwamuna. Kuti mumvetse bwino mnzanuyo, muyenera kudziwa kusiyana pakati pa chifundo ndi chifundo.

Chisoni chingakufikitseni pafupi ndi wokondedwa wanu pomwe chifundo chikhoza kufooketsa kapena kukhumudwitsa mnzanuyo. Dziike nokha mu nsapato zawo pamene mukuyesera kuti mudziwe mnzanuyo pamlingo wozama. Kuwonetsa a kusowa chifundo pamapeto pake mutha kumiza ubale wanu. Nandita anati, “Lumikizanani ndi bwenzi lanu mozama m’malo mogawana naye ubwenzi wongoyang’ana.

Izi zingaphatikizepo zinthu zachinsinsi kwa inu komanso zokhumudwitsa pang'ono monga zabanja, zowawa paubwana, kusadzidalira, kapena matenda amisala.

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3. Yambani kugawana zofooka za wina ndi mzake

Kukhala pachiopsezo ndiko kufunitsitsa kwa munthu kuika pachiswe maganizo, malingaliro, ndi zofooka zake poulula kwa munthu wina. Ili mwa ambiri zofunika zamaganizo mu ubale. Kugawana malingaliro anu akuya ndikulola SO yanu pazinthu zomwe zimakukhudzani kwambiri ndikukupwetekani ndi mtundu wa kumasuka kwamalingaliro komwe kungakuthandizeni bwino ngati mukuyesera kudziwa momwe mungalumikizire ndi mnzanuyo mozama.

Pachiwopsezo komanso kumasuka kwa okondedwa wanu, Nandita akuti, "Khalani pachiwopsezo. Ndi chimodzi mwazinthu zokongola kwambiri chifukwa mumalumikizana nawo mozama. Gawani zosatetezeka zanu ndikuchita momasuka momwe mungathere. Yesani ndikulankhula za zinthu zomwe zidakuumbani m'mbuyomu. Ngati muli ndi zowawa zilizonse kapena zosokonezeka m'maganizo, khalani omasuka kugawana nawo momasuka ndi okondedwa wanu, kudziwa momwe mungalumikizire bwenzi lanu. moona mtima za momwe mukumvera komanso kusamala wokondedwa wanu.

"Panthawi yomweyo, ndikofunikira kuti ukhulupirire wokondedwa wako, kondani kwambiri chibwenzi chanu powakhulupirira ndi mtima wonse. zolimbitsa thupi zolimbitsa maubale kulimbitsa mgwirizano wanu. Pokhapokha mutakhulupirira okondedwa wanu m'pamene mudzatha kugawana nawo zofooka zanu. Pamene ali pachiwopsezo ndikugawana malingaliro awo amkati kapena nkhani zakale, musamaweruze. Osapanga ziganizo zotsutsa ponena kuti izi ndi zoipa kapena izi sizinthu zoyenera kumva. Ingovomereza zomwe mnzako akunena."

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4. Yang'anani mnzanuyo muzochita zake

Kuti mupange kulumikizana mozama ndi SO yanu, muyenera kuziwona. Awonetseni akuchita zinthu zomwe amazikonda kwambiri. Poyamba, ndinkaona kuti n’zodabwitsa kuti mnzanga ankandionera ndikuwerenga ndi kulemba. Amangondiyang'ana ndikamatsegula masamba kapena kulemba pa laputopu yanga. M'masiku oyambirira a chibwenzi chathu, nthawi yomweyo ankayang'ana kwinakwake akagwidwa akundiyang'anitsitsa.

Ubwenzi wathu utakula, anayamba kuchita momasuka. Tsopano sakunjenjemera ndikayang'ana m'buku langa ndipo maso athu akumana. Pakali pano zimandichititsa manyazi. Anaona kuti ndimanjenjemera n’kunena kuti ndimaphethira kwambiri ndikamawerenga kapena kulemba. Ndi njira yapamtima komanso yochenjera yolumikizirana mozama mu ubale.

Kodi mumalumikizana bwanji ndi munthu mozama pakanthawi kochepa? Dzifunseni mafunso ofunikawa, ndipo n’zimene zingakufikitseni kufupi nawo. Kodi gawo la mnzanu ndi chiyani? Mpira? Kuyimba chida? Kuphika? Kuphika? Chilichonse chomwe chiri, pitani mukawone iwo akuchita ndipo mudzadziwa mwachibadwa momwe mungalumikizire ndi mnzanu mozama. M'malo mwake, mudzayamba kuyandikira pafupi nawo kuyambira nthawi yomweyo.

5. Momwe mungalumikizire ndi okondedwa wanu mozama? Nthawi zonse amafunsa mafunso opanda mayankho

Kufunsa mafunso oyenera pa nthawi yoyenera kungakuthandizeni kumvetsetsa bwino mnzanuyo. Funsani mafunso kuti khalani ndi zokambirana zapamtima ndi ena anu ofunika. Ndikudziwa kuti tonse tili otanganidwa ndi moyo wathu ... ntchito, kulipira mabilu, kusamalira thanzi lathu lamalingaliro ndi zomwe siziri. Osagwiritsa ntchito maudindowa ngati zifukwa, m'malo mwake yesetsani kuwongolera.

Ndikofunikira kwambiri kufunsa mafunso ndipo koposa zonse, kupatula nthawi yowawonetsa chidwi chotere. Poganizira za kuchepa kwa mnzanga amene ndimamudziwa komanso mmene timatanganidwa ndi ntchito yathu, ndinaganiza zoti ndiyambe kumufunsa mafunso omasuka. Ndimawafunsa pamene tikuyendetsa galimoto kuti tikagule kapena tikakhala pansi kuti tidye. Ngakhale zizikhala zapakatikati kapena mwachisawawa, ndizovuta zomwe ndakhala ndikuchita nthawi zonse.

Kufunsa mafunso oterowo kunandithandiza kumvetsetsa chifukwa chake anatenga udindo wa kholo lotsalalo pambuyo pa imfa ya mnzakeyo. Ndinazindikira kuti sindine ndekha amene ndinalowa muubwenzi umenewu ndi katundu wambiri komanso chisoni. "Kankhirani wina ndi mnzake munjira yoyenera ndikuthandizana wina ndi mnzake kukhala wodziyimira pawokha. Alimbikitseni. Alimbikitseni. Funsani mafunso opusa komanso oseketsa. Funsani mafunso opotoka. Apangitseni kuganiza, ndikudzipangitsa kuganiza. Ndilo yankho lanu losavuta la momwe mungalumikizire ndi bwenzi lanu mozama," akutero Nandita.

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6. Pangani zikumbukiro zabwino pamodzi

Yesani ndi kuseka limodzi kwambiri. Khalani opusa. Chitani zinthu zomwe zingakufikitseni pafupi wina ndi mnzake. Pangani zikumbukiro ndipo khalani inu eni. Vinani pamodzi, onerani mafilimu, ndi kuchitira limodzi zinthu. Nandita amalangiza momwe mungalumikizire ndi bwenzi lanu pamlingo wozama. Momwemonso, ngati mukuganiza kuti mumalumikizana bwanji ndi munthu mwakuya pakanthawi kochepa, kupanga zikumbukiro zatsopano ndiyo njira, ndipo ndiyofunikiradi mu ubale uliwonse.

M'malo mwake, ngakhale mutakhala pachibwenzi chotalikirana, mutha kukulitsa ubale pamameseji ndi mafoni bola mutakhala ndi nthawi yabwino ndi wina ndi mnzake. Kukonda wokondedwa wanu kwambiri kumakhala kosavuta mukakhala ndi thunthu lodzaza ndi kukumbukira. Zokumbukira zomwe mungayang'ane ndikumwetulira ndikuziphonya pomwe palibe.

Pezani zomwe mumakonda, pitani pamasiku, idyani chakudya chonse limodzi ngati nonse muli kunyumba, ndipo limbitsani ubale wanu ndi mnzanuyo. Mu maubwenzi apatali, gwiritsani ntchito mphamvu za malo a pa intaneti kuti mulumikizane, museke wina ndi mzake, ndi kupanga zikumbukiro monga momwe mungachitire pamaso panu. Pamene inu ndi wokondedwa wanu muli ndi mphamvu mu malingaliro a wina ndi mzake, ndipamene inu nonse mudzamva ngati banja.

7. Fufuzani mbali zanu zogonana pamodzi

Tsopano, zinthu zatsala pang'ono kukhala zosangalatsa, koma tiyeni tipitilizebe kuyang'ana pa zomwe zimakupangitsani kukhala paubwenzi ndi okondedwa wanu mozama komanso muuzimu. Mukamaganiza zogonana, kodi munganene kuti mwina “ubwenzi” ndi chinthu choyamba chimene chimabwera m’maganizo mwanu? Chifukwa nthawi zonse ndimaganiza za kugonana ngati malo oti ndimve ngati ndimawonedwa, wokondedwa, komanso womasuka kufotokoza zakukhosi.

Anthu okwatirana ambiri amakopeka ndi kugonana kwachisawawa akamacheza kwa nthawi yaitali. Pewani nazo pokulitsa ndi kufufuza zilakolako za wina ndi mzake zakugonana. Khalani omasuka ndi oona mtima pa zosowa zanu. Ngati mukufunsa momwe mungalumikizire bwenzi lanu pamlingo wozama, ndiye lolani kuti mufufuze malingaliro anu ndi a mnzanuyo popanda manyazi ndikudzipereka kwathunthu ku zilakolako zakuya za wina ndi mnzake. Zidzakuthandizani kuti mugwirizane ndi mnzanuyo ndikuwonjezeranso kuya kwa chidziwitso, mosiyana ndi chirichonse chomwe mudamvapo.

Kodi Kukhala ndi Ubale Wakuya Ndi Wokondedwa Wanu Kumathandiza Bwanji Ubwenzi Wanu?

Ndizowona kuti kukhala ndi kulumikizana kozama, kokhalitsa ndi bwenzi lanu ndikoyeneradi pachibwenzi chanu. Koma kodi zimenezi zimachitika bwanji? Kodi ubale wanu umayenda bwino bwanji pambuyo pake? Nazi njira zingapo:

• Kukhala okoma mtima pa mikangano: Mukakhala ndi chifundo ndi chikondi kwa wokondedwa wanu, n'zoonekeratu kuti zopusa mikangano ya ubale sichidzasokonezanso moyo wanu wachikondi. Mukawona mnzanuyo momwe alili ndikumvetsetsa zizolowezi zawo, simungatengere njira yokwiya pamakangano ndipo m'malo mwake mutenge njira yolimbikitsa.
• Pali kumvetsetsa bwino kwamakhalidwe awo: Tsopano popeza mwatsiriza maphunziro a zowawa za mnzanu zakale, mbiri ya ubale, ndi zina zotero, mutha kumvetsetsa bwino momwe amachitira ndi momwe angathanirane ndi vutoli. N’chifukwa chiyani amadana kwambiri ndi mfundo ya ukwati? Mwina chifukwa chakuti makolo awo analibe munthu wabwino. Nchifukwa chiyani samatchula nkomwe ex wawo? Mwina chifukwa wakale wawo adawapweteka m'njira yomwe palibe amene adachitapo kale
• Malo osatetezeka ali ochepa: Mukakhala pachiwopsezo chambiri ndi munthu wina komanso kukhala womasuka zikafika powafotokozera, mumamva kuti ndinu ovomerezeka, okondedwa, komanso osamalidwa. Izi ndithudi zimapita kutali kukuthandizani kuchotsa kusatetezeka kwanu mozungulira iwo ndi chiyanjano
• Mudzakopeka wina ndi mzake: Inde, kugwirizana kozama kungapereke njira ku kukopa kwa maginito. Mukayamba kugwira ntchito paubwenzi ndikuyesera kukulitsa ndi kukulitsa ubalewo, mudzamvanso chikondi ndi kukopeka kwambiri.
• Kuphunzira zinthu zatsopano: Kukula kwanu monga munthu kudzalimbikitsidwanso mukayika mtundu uwu khama mu ubale. Sikuti mudzangophunzira za mnzanu, muphunziranso malingaliro atsopano ndi zinthu zatsopano za dziko lapansi, zomwe zingakuthandizeni kukula ngati munthu.

Osasiya kukhala ndi chidwi ndi mnzanu. Lumikizanani kuti mulumikizane, mufotokozere komanso mumvetsetse zodetsa nkhawa za mnzanu ndi chisangalalo. Moyo si nthawi zonse utawaleza ndi kuwala kwa dzuwa, pamene ali ndi vuto, khalani nawo kwa iwo. Kukhululuka muubwenzi ndikofunikira. Osasunga chakukhosi kwa nthawi yayitali kapena zingafooketse kudzipereka kwanu kwa wina ndi mzake. Gonjetsani zovuta ndi zovuta limodzi ngati banja ndipo tulukani mwamphamvu kuposa kale. 

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