Maubwenzi ndi zolaula nthawi zambiri zimabweretsa mikangano. Okwatirana ambiri amavutika kuti agwirizane ndi mbali imeneyi ya kukhutiritsa kugonana m’moyo wawo wapamtima, zomwe zimadzetsa kukayikira, kusagwirizana ndi kusagwirizana. Makamaka pamene malingaliro a okondedwa onse a vis-à-vis zolaula ali osiyana kwambiri ndi wina ndi mzake.
Izi zingayambitse mafunso ambiri okhudza njira zomwe zolaula ndi maliseche zimapweteketsa maubwenzi. Kodi kuonera zolaula ndi chizindikiro cha zizolowezi zoipa? Kodi kufunafuna zokhutiritsa zogonana kuchokera ku zolaula kumafanana ndi kubera? Kodi zimasonyeza kuti munthu alibe chikhumbo chofuna bwenzi lake? Nanga bwanji kuzolowera zolaula ndi zotsatira zake pa maubwenzi?
M'nkhaniyi, Sangeeth Sebastian, woyambitsa VVox (Voice of Vatsyayana's Voice) - nsanja yodzipereka yomanganso thanzi la kugonana ku India, akulemba za nthano zosiyanasiyana ndi zowona zokhudzana ndi maubwenzi ndi zolaula ndikuyankha mafunso ambirimbiri omwe maanja amavutika kuti amvetsetse.
Ubale ndi Zolaula: Nthano Vs Zowona
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Mavuto a m'banja omwe amabwera chifukwa chakuti mnzawo mmodzi amakonda kwambiri zolaula si achilendo. Komabe, chifukwa chachikulu cha izi si kuonera zolaula zokha koma malingaliro athu okhudza kugonana komanso mavuto omwe ali m'banja omwe okwatirana sakanatha kuwathetsa.
Mwachitsanzo, ngati munthu amangoyang'ana kugonana ngati konyansa kapena sanaphunzire kuvomereza zilakolako zawo zogonana ndi zofuna zake, akhoza kuwonetsa malingaliro omwewo pazochitika zowonera zolaula. Momwemonso, tauzidwa kuti tikhulupirire kuti abambo amafunikira kukopeka kowoneka bwino kuti adzuke pomwe, kwa akazi, kumalumikizidwa ndi kulumikizana kwamalingaliro.
Chifukwa cha izi, mwamwambo, amayi ambiri sankasangalala ndi maganizo okhudza zolaula. Komabe, kafukufuku akusonyeza kuti sizili choncho. Azimayi ochulukirachulukira samangodya zolaula komanso kuvomereza kuti maubwenzi ndi zolaula zimatha kukhalapo popanda zotsatirapo zoipa pa khalidwe la mgwirizano wa okwatirana.
Nthano ina yotchuka ndi yokhudzana ndi zolaula komanso maubwenzi. Kugwiritsa ntchito zolaula kumawoneka kuti ndizovuta chifukwa anthu amada nkhawa ndi chizolowezi cha zolaula komanso momwe zimakhudzira maubwenzi. Komabe, kuledzera kwa zolaula si vuto ndipo sikuchirikizidwa kwathunthu ndimankhwala.
Mbendera zofiira ndi zolaula ndi maubwenzi
Kotero, monga momwe mukuwonera, kuti palibe mbendera zofiira zomwe zili ndi zolaula ndi maubwenzi ndizofunikira zokhudzana ndi kugwiritsa ntchito zolaula konse. Zimachokera ku kusamvetsetsa kapena kuvomereza zolaula kapena zovuta zomwe ubale wayamba kale.
Mwachitsanzo, ngati munthu akumva kuti alibe chitetezo chifukwa wokondedwa wake amaonera zolaula, m'malo moyang'ana vutoli kuchokera ku chizoloŵezi cha zolaula ndi maubwenzi, munthu ayenera kuyesetsa kumvetsetsa chifukwa chake mnzawo akukondana ndi chifukwa chake ndi vuto kwa winayo.
Zingakhale nkhani ya kusowa kwa kugonana kapena chilakolako chogonana chosagwirizana, komwe chilakolako cha mnzawo wina chimaposa cha mnzake, zomwe zimamupangitsa kufunafuna chisangalalo chogonana kudzera mu zolaula. Chimodzi mwazochitika zomwe izi zingachitike nthawi zambiri ndi kubereka mwana. Pa gawo limenelo la moyo, kugonana kwa mkazi kumadutsa mu kusintha kwa malingaliro. Mphamvu zake zogonana zimayendetsedwa kuti alere ndi kusamalira mwanayo.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kuonera Zolaula Kunapulumutsa Ukwati Wanga - Nkhani Yeniyeni
Izi zikhoza kusiya mnzanuyo kufuna kukhutitsidwa ndi kugonana, ndipo akhoza kubisala zolaula. Popeza mayiyo angakhale akulimbana ndi vuto la maonekedwe a thupi lake pambuyo pobereka, kusinthaku kungalimbikitsenso kusatetezeka kwake.
Momwemonso, munthu yemwe adaberedwapo kale kapena ali ndi mawonekedwe osatetezeka angaone kuti chidwi cha mnzawo pa zolaula ndi chochepa. Choncho, mbendera zofiira ndi zolaula ndi maubwenzi nthawi zonse zimagwera anthu awiri omwe ali pachibwenzi, chikhalidwe chawo payekha komanso thanzi la mgwirizano wawo ngati okwatirana.
Ubale Ndi Zolaula: Madera Ovuta
Ngakhale kuti zambiri zokhudzana ndi maubwenzi ndi zolaula zimalimbikitsidwa ndi zinthu zowonongeka, kuziyika ngati "zabwino" kapena "zoipa" zingakhale zosavuta. Inde, kuonera zolaula zochitidwa mwamakhalidwe abwino n’cholinga chofuna kukhutiritsa kugonana kungakhale kopanda vuto, ndiponso kungakhale kothandiza. Komabe, izi sizikutsutsa mfundo yakuti pali njira zambiri zomwe zolaula ndi maliseche zimapweteketsa maubwenzi.
Chachikulu kwambiri ndi nkhawa ya machitidwe yomwe imabwera chifukwa cha malingaliro olakwika a thupi la amuna ndi akazi komanso chisangalalo cha kugonana chomwe chimafalitsidwa mu zolaula. Amuna modabwitsa bwino anapatsidwa m'mafilimu kapena tatifupi kungachititse kuti lingaliro kuti kukula kwa mbolo mwachindunji mogwirizana ndi zosangalatsa subconsciously internalized ndi amuna. Nthano zogonana zoterezi zimatha kupangitsa amuna kuzindikira za thupi lawo ndikuwapangitsa kuti aziganiza kuti ali ndi mphamvu zokhutiritsa wokondedwa wawo pabedi.
Komabe, mwasayansi, mbolo ya mainchesi awiri pakapita nthawi yayitali ndi yokwanira. Chofunikira sikuti mwapeza nthawi yayitali bwanji, koma momwe mumagwiritsira ntchito zomwe muli nazo. Kupatula apo, popeza nyini ilibe mitsempha-mathero, simalo osangalatsa kwa akazi, kotero kukula kwake kumaperekedwa mopanda phindu.
Azimayi nawonso amatha kukhala ndi vuto la zithunzi za thupi ngati atengera malingaliro olakwika okhudza kukula kwa mabere, mapindikidwe kapena kuchuluka kwa thupi komwe kumawonetsedwa m'zinthu zolaula. Izi zitha kufooketsa chidaliro cha thupi ndikuyambitsa nkhawa pakugonana. Izi ndizomwe zimayambitsanso nkhawa zokhudzana ndi ubale pakati pa zolaula ndi maubwenzi ozunza.
Pofuna kuthana ndi njira zodziwika bwino zomwe zolaula ndi maliseche zimawononga maubwenzi, ndikofunikira kukumbukira kuti ichi ndi chiwonetsero chazosangalatsa zakugonana. Momwe ma romcom amasonyezera chikondi pa ma steroids, zolaula zimachitiranso kugonana. Kusaiwala mfundo imeneyi ndikofunikira kuti tisalole kukhala gwero la kupsinjika muubwenzi.
Mavuto ena ofala okhudza maubwenzi ndi zolaula ndi monga kusakhutira, zosowa zosakwaniritsidwa komanso kumva kunyalanyazidwa. Zosowa za mnzako m'modzi zikakwaniritsidwa kudzera mu zolaula (ndi kudziseweretsa maliseche), chilakolako chawo chofuna kugonana chingachepe, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti zosowa za mnzako wina zisakwaniritsidwe. Izi zingapangitse mnzakoyo kumva ngati wosafunika, wonyalanyazidwa, zomwe zingachititse kuti moyo wake wogonana usakhutiritse kapena ubale wopanda kugonana ukhale wosasangalatsa.
Kumbali ina, okwatirana amene amaonera zolaula pamodzi angaone kusintha kwa moyo wawo wa kugonana. Muubwenzi uliwonse waukwati wokhala ndi mwamuna mmodzi, kupitirizabe kusangalala pambuyo pa kuthamanga kwa mahomoni achikondi kuzimiririka kumakhala kovuta. Zimatengera kulimbikira ndi kuyesetsa mosalekeza, kubweretsa zinthu zodabwitsa m'moyo wanu wakugonana, ndikufufuza njira zatsopano zolimbikitsira chikhumbocho. Kaya zimenezi zikuphatikizapo kudalira zolaula ndi zoti anthu okwatirana azisankha okha.
Mfundo yaikulu ndi yakuti maubwenzi ndi zolaula zimatha kukhalapo mu mgwirizano wathunthu malinga ngati onse awiri akuvomereza lingalirolo. Monganso mbali ina iliyonse yakugonana pakati pa anthu awiri, kuvomereza ndikofunikira kwambiri panonso. Chilolezocho chiyenera kukhala popanda kukakamiza, chikoka kapena kukakamizidwa. Ngati sipamene inu muli, ndi bwino kufufuza mbendera zofiira ndi zolaula ndi maubwenzi, ndikufika pakatikati pa zomwe zili zoyenera kwa inu monga banja.
Ibibazo
Momwe zolaula zimakhudzira ubale pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi zimangodalira anthu awiri omwe ali nawo pachibwenzi. Ngati onse awiri ali omasuka ku mgwirizano wa maubwenzi ndi zolaula, zikhoza kusintha moyo wawo wogonana. Ngati malingaliro awo pa udindo ndi zotsatira za zolaula pa maubwenzi ndi zosiyana, zingayambitse kusagwirizana ndi kusagwirizana.
Malingana ngati onse awiri akuzindikira kuti kuwonetsera zochitika zogonana ndi thupi laumunthu mu zolaula ndizokokomeza ndipo safuna kubwereza zomwezo m'miyoyo yawo, kukondoweza komwe kumaperekedwa ndi mavidiyo awa, tatifupi, zithunzi kapena mabuku kungapangitse chilakolako chogonana ndikubwereketsa kulimbikitsana kwa libido, motero kusintha moyo wa kugonana kwa okwatirana.
Amayi a 8 amagawana zomwe adachita nthawi yoyamba yomwe adawonera zolaula
Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.
