Kufunika kwa kugonana muubwenzi kungawonedwe kuchokera ku mfundo yakuti maubwenzi abwino nthawi zambiri amakhala okhudzana ndi kugonana. Lingaliro ndiloti okwatirana okondwa amakhala ndi moyo wogonana wopambana, pamene omwe ali muubwenzi womvetsa chisoni alibe.
Komabe, poganizira kuchuluka kwa maubwenzi okondana masiku ano, pangakhale kusamvana koyenera kwa kufunikira kwa kugonana muubwenzi. Mwachitsanzo, tanthauzo ndi kufunika kwa kugonana kwa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha kungakhale kosiyana kwambiri ndi kwa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha.
Ndiye, pali okwatirana omwe sagonana ndi amuna kapena akazi okhaokha komanso omwe amasankha kusunga maubwenzi awo opanda kugonana. Choncho, yankho lakuti kugonana n’kofunika bwanji kuti banja liziyenda bwino limasiyanasiyana malinga ndi mmene zinthu zilili komanso zimene anthu okhudzidwawo angasankhe.
Komabe, kwa okwatirana omwe amasankha kugonana kukhala gawo la ubale wawo, kumakhala chimodzi mwa mfundo zazikulu za ubale wawo wachikondi. Tiyeni tikambirane nkhaniyi, ndi malingaliro a akatswiri ochokera kwa dokotala wa maganizo Dr Aman Bhonsle (Ph.D., MBA, PGDTA), ndi katswiri wa zachiwerewere Dr Rajan Bhonsle (MD), awiri a abambo ndi ana aamuna omwe adalemba nawo "What The FUQ? - Frequently Unayankhidwa Mafunso Okhudza Kugonana" pakati pa mapulojekiti ena aumwini pantchito zawo zodziwika bwino.
Kufunika Kogonana Paubwenzi
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Kufunika kwa kugonana muubwenzi kwakambidwa kwambiri komanso kukambitsirana. Polankhula pa nkhaniyi, Dr Aman akutiuza chifukwa chake kugonana kuli kofunika m'moyo waumunthu "Kugonana, mwa njira zambiri, ndi mfundo ya chiyanjano.Popeza ndilo kusiyanitsa kwakukulu pakati pa ubwenzi ndi chiyanjano, kuphatikizapo kugonana ndi kugonana ndi chiwerewere ndizofunikira kwa anthu ambiri omwe ali pachibwenzi.
"Kuphatikiza apo, ndizolimbikitsa chikhalidwe cha anthu kukakamiza anthu kulowa gawo lotsatira la moyo. Kaya kuyambitsa banja limodzi kapena kukhala ndi moyo wogawana pamodzi. Munjira zambiri, kugonana kumachita ngati chothandizira kukakamiza anthu kuti azichita zinthu zomwe zimakonda kukhala maubwenzi."
Ngati "kugonana kumalimbitsa ubale" kudayambapo m'malingaliro anu, kutengera zomwe Dr Aman akunena, kugonana muubwenzi kumatha kukankhira awiri pamodzi ndikukhala ngati chothandizira kudzipereka kwa moyo wonse.
Tsopano ndi mfundo yodziwika bwino kuti anthu ochita zogonana amafunika kukhala paubwenzi kuti azichita bwino muubwenzi wawo. Kafukufuku watsopano wozikidwa pa zomwe zapezeka m'maphunziro anayi osiyanasiyana watsimikiza kuti "kugonana sikumangowoneka kopindulitsa chifukwa cha zotsatira zake zakuthupi kapena zachisangalalo komanso chifukwa kumalimbikitsa ubale wolimba komanso wabwino ndi wokondedwa wawo."
Izi zikutanthawuza kuti osati kugonana kokha koma chikondi chomwe chimatsagana nacho ndi chomwe chimalimbikitsa chisangalalo ndi kukhutira pakati pa okondedwa. Zionetsero zachikondizi zimapitilira kupitilira kugonana, komanso kukumbatirana, kupsopsonana ndi kukhudzana kwina kulikonse.
Chofunikira ndichakuti kugonana koma osakondana sikungapindule ndi ubale wanu. Lingaliro la kufunika kwa kugonana muubwenzi limagwira ntchito pokhapokha ngati likugwirizana ndi chikondi ndi chikondi. Ichi ndichifukwa chake:
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Zifukwa 5 Zomwe Ubwenzi Wapamtima Pakati pa Okwatirana Umatha Ndipo Momwe Mungapewere
1. Kugonana kumabweretsa chisangalalo
“Kugonana kwapangidwa kuti kukhale kosangalatsa, kukadakhala kuti sikunali kosangalatsa, anthu sakadachita, ndiye, kugonana ndi njira imodzi yomwe timapezera ubwezi ndi kusangalala,” akutero Dr Aman.
Chifukwa cha kutulutsidwa kwa mahomoni omva bwino omwe amatsatiridwa ndi orgasm, kugonana kumakupatsani chisangalalo. Kutulutsidwa kwa endorphins kumathandizira kuchepetsa kupsinjika, testosterone imathandizira kupititsa patsogolo magwiridwe antchito m'mbali zonse za moyo, ndipo dopamine imayendetsa malingaliro anu achimwemwe ndi malingaliro opita.
Akaphatikizidwa, mahomoniwa amagwira ntchito ngati zomatira zomwe zimalimbitsa mgwirizano pakati pa okwatirana ndikupangitsa ubale wanu kukhala wolimba. Kafukufuku wotchulidwa kale wokhudza ubwino wa kugonana akuwonetsanso kuti malingaliro abwinowa amatha kwa maola osachepera 24, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti mukhale okhutira.
'Hangover' iyi imalimbikitsa malingaliro abwino kwa okondedwa anu, kukupangitsani kukhala wofunika ndikukonda kwambiri ubale wanu. 'Kukoka mtima' komwe mumamva kumayambiriro kwa chibwenzi kumathanso kunenedwa chifukwa chakuti maanja ambiri amagonana kwambiri atangoyamba kumene.
2. Ndizovuta kwambiri
Kugonana kumatulutsanso oxytocin, yomwe imapereka mpumulo wanthawi yomweyo ku nkhawa komanso kumapangitsa kukhala omasuka. Amagwira ntchito ngati mankhwala a cortisol, omwe ndi timadzi tambiri tambiri timene timayambitsa nkhawa.
Kafukufuku wokhudza makhalidwe osangalatsa omwe amachepetsa kupsinjika maganizo akusonyeza kuti kugonana kumayambitsa dongosolo la mphotho muubongo, motero, kumathandiza kuchepetsa kupsinjika. Kuti mupeze zabwinozi simuyenera kutopa kwambiri. Kukhudzana ndi khungu ndi khungu komwe kumatenga nthawi yoposa masekondi 20 ndikokwanira kuti oxytocin ilowe m'magazi mwanu.
Choncho, kugonana kungathandize kwambiri kuchepetsa kukangana ndi kupsinjika maganizo, kaya zokhudzana ndi ubale kapena chifukwa cha zinthu zakunja monga ntchito, thanzi kapena mavuto azachuma. Chifukwa chake, palibe kugonana muubwenzi kumatanthauza zomwe mukuganiza kuti kumatanthauza: zovuta za moyo nthawi zonse zimawabweretsera mavuto.
3. Kutsimikizika kuchokera ku kugonana kungapangitse kudzidalira
Kaonekedwe ka thupi ndi kusadzidalira kobisika zimakhudza kwambiri moyo wa munthu wogonana. Kafukufuku wokhudza kaonekedwe ka thupi ndi momwe zimagwirira ntchito pogonana akusonyeza kuti izi zingakhudze mbali iliyonse ya kugonana, kuyambira chilakolako chogonana mpaka kukhutira.
Chochititsa chidwi n'chakuti, kusiyana kwake kulinso koona. Mchitidwe wogonana ndi mawonekedwe ovomerezeka kuchokera kwa wokondedwa, zomwe zingakhale zolimbikitsa kwambiri kuti mukhale ndi chidaliro. Onjezani kuthamanga kwa dopamine ku kusakaniza, ndipo muli ndi zinthu zonse zofunika kuti mumve bwino za inu nokha komanso omasuka pakhungu lanu.
Ngati mungatsimikize kufunika kwa kugonana kwa mkazi kapena mwamuna, chitsimikiziro chomwe amapeza kuchokera pamenepo chingakhale chimodzi mwazifukwa zazikulu. Sikuti kudzidalira kudzawonjezera magwiridwe antchito awo pabedi, koma kumawonjezera chisangalalo cha moyo wawo wantchito ndipo kumatha kubweretsa zopindulitsa pamoyo wawo.
4. Kugonana kumalimbitsa ubwenzi
Kufunika kwa kugonana muubwenzi kumapitirira chipinda chogona. Chochitikachi chimatchedwa kuti mgwirizano wapamtima. Mukakhala okondana kwambiri, mudzakhala okondana kwambiri m'mbali zina zaubwenzi wanu. Kaya ndi mgwirizano wapamtima kapena kukhala ogwirizana kwambiri, ubwenzi wonse pakati pa okwatirana umakwezedwa ndi moyo wathanzi wogonana. Izi zikubwerezanso mfundo yakuti 'chikondi chimabala kugonana ndipo kugonana kumabala chikondi' yomwe idakhazikitsidwa ndi kafukufuku.
"Chifukwa cha chiyanjano chogawana, kugwirira ntchito pamodzi kumabwera m'dongosolo. Pamene mwamuna ndi mkazi akugwiritsa ntchito zofuna zawo zonse, kaya kuyambira banja, kulandira chiweto kapena kugula nyumba, chiyanjano chomwe amagawana chidzatsogolera ku zisankho zabwino, "akutero Dr Aman, kutidziwitsa momwe kugonana kuliri kofunika m'moyo waumunthu ndi ubwino wake umatuluka kunja kwa chipinda chogona.
5. Kugonana pambuyo pogonana kumakufikitsani pafupi
Kafukufuku wochitidwa ku University of Toronto Mississauga wasonyeza kuti kugonana pambuyo pa kugonana monga kukumbatirana ndi kupsompsonana kumalimbikitsanso ubale wachimwemwe komanso wokhutiritsa pakati pa okwatirana. Izi zimachitikanso chifukwa cha kutulutsidwa kwa oxytocin chifukwa cha kukhudzana. Inde, kuti mugwiritse ntchito phindu limeneli, muyenera kugonana kaye.
6. Zimapangitsa okondedwa kumva kukhala ofunikira
M’maubwenzi ambiri a mwamuna kapena mkazi mmodzi, kugonana ndi mnzanu nthawi zambiri kumawapangitsa kumva kuti ndi ofunika, odalirika komanso okondedwa ndi okondedwa awo. Chifukwa chomwe ubale wakuthupi ndi wofunikira m'chikondi ndi chifukwa chakuti gawo lowonjezera la kugwirizana limayikidwa pa nthawi ya kugonana.
Dr Aman akuti "Ubwenzi wogonana ndi njira yopatsa wokondedwa wanu lingaliro lakuti iwo ndi ofunikira, ndi njira yopanda mawu kunena kuti 'ndiwe nokha munthu amene ndimagawana naye izi', zomwe zimapatsa okondedwawo udindo wapadera. Nthawi zambiri, ndi njira yolankhulirana kuti tsopano ndife omangika kwa wina ndi mzake ndipo omangidwa pamodzi ndi kukhulupirika kwa wina ndi mzake."
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kugonana Kwabwino Kungakuchotsereni Nkhawa Zanu - Nkhani 5 Zoona
Kufunika kwa kugonana pomanga maubwenzi ogwirizana ndi koonekeratu. Maubwenzi amayenda bwino pakukwaniritsa kugonana pakati pa okondedwa ndipo moyo wanu kunja kwa chipinda chogona udzakhudzidwanso bwino. Ndiye, zonse zikanenedwa ndi kuchitidwa, kodi kugonana kumalimbitsa ubale? Akatswiri athu amaganiza choncho.
Kodi Kugonana Kufunika Chiyani Kwa Mayi Ndi Mwamuna?
Kodi pali kusiyana pakati pa kufunika kwa kugonana kwa mkazi, komanso kufunika kwa kugonana kwa mwamuna? Kodi onse amaziona mosiyana? Ngati ndi choncho, amaziona mosiyana bwanji?
Kuti tiyankhe ena mwa mafunso athu, Dr Aman akulingalira pa mutu wakuti "Ngakhale kuti ma paradigms akusintha nthawi zonse m'madera athu, mfundo zazikuluzikulu ndizoti akazi ndi okhazikika pamtima. Kwa iwo, kugonana ndi kukhulupilirana. Kwa mwamuna, kugonana kumawoneka ngati kosangalatsa, kuli ngati kuyabwa kumbuyo komwe amafunika kukanda nthawi ndi nthawi."
Dr Aman akutsutsa kuti ngakhale zizoloŵezi zina zimakhalapo, nthawi zambiri zimakhala zopanda madzi. "Wina angatsutse kuti amuna ali ndi luso lachisangalalo chomwe amapeza kuchokera ku kugonana." Pamene akazi amawona ngati pasipoti kuti apeze chivomerezo ndi bwenzi.
“Ngakhale kuti chiŵerengero cha akazi amene amafikira pa kugonana kokha chifukwa cha chisangalalo chawo chakuthupi nchochepa pang’ono poyerekezera ndi amuna amene amafikirako kaamba ka chisangalalo chakuthupi,” akutero Dr Aman, akumatsimikizira kuti ngakhale kuti kusiyanako kumasintha nthaŵi zonse, zizoloŵezi zina zofala zimakonda kukhalapo.
Tiyeni tione mozama za kufunika kwa kugonana kwa mkazi ndi mwamuna, kuti mudziwe zomwe zikuchitika m'maganizo mwawo.
Kodi kugonana ndi kofunika bwanji kwa mwamuna mu chiyanjano?
Pamene kukankhira kukafika pa kukankhira, malingaliro a amuna pa kugonana amakhala osiyana kwambiri ndi a akazi. Muubwenzi uliwonse, kumvetsetsa momwe wokondedwa wanu akukhudzira kugonana, ziyembekezo zake ndi zongoganiza ndizofunikira kwambiri kuti mukhale ndi moyo wogonana wokwanira. Komabe, ngati muli pachibwenzi, simungathe kugwirizana ndi maganizo a mnzanuyo pankhaniyi.
Koma nthawi zonse mutha kuyesetsa kuti mumvetsetse kufunika kogonana kwa mwamuna muubwenzi komanso chifukwa chake:
- Kugonana ndi thupi: Kwa amuna, kugonana ndi thupi. Izi zikutanthauza kuti chilakolako chawo chimalimbikitsidwa ndi kuthamanga kwa testosterone m'thupi, komwe kumayendetsa kufunikira kwawo kwa kugonana. N’chifukwa chake kwa amuna ena chilakolako chogonana chimakhala chovuta kuchiletsa
- Kugonana ndi njala: Kugonana ndi chosowa chachibadwa, ndipo kumawonekera kwambiri kwa amuna. Amachilakalaka monga momwe anthu amakhumbira chakudya chimene amachikonda kapena mchere. Pamene chilakolako chimenecho chikugwira mu malingaliro awo, iwo sangakhoze kuchigwedeza icho kupatula ngati iwo atachikhutitsa icho
- Kugonana kumalumikizidwa ndi ubale: Ndizolakwika kuti amuna nthawi zonse amakhala okonzeka kuchitapo kanthu. M’malo mwake, zilakolako zawo zakugonana zimalamuliridwa ndi mkhalidwe waubwenziwo. Mwachitsanzo, kumenyana kosalekeza kapena kusokonekera kwaubwenzi ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wake kungaphe chilakolako cha mwamuna chogonana
- Kugonana ndi chionetsero cha chikondi: Kugonana ndi njira imene mwamuna amasonyezera chikondi. Nthaŵi zambiri, kugonana sikuli chikhumbo chongofuna kudzifunira. Amafuna kusangalatsa anzawo, kuwawona akuyatsidwa ndikusangalala nawo. Kwa iwo, ndi njira yoperekera chikondi kwa wina wofunikira
- Kugonana ndi kulumikizana kwamalingaliro: Amuna nthawi zambiri amatsutsidwa kuti akufuna kugonana kokha paubwenzi, koma izi sizingakhale kutali ndi choonadi. Nawonso amuna amalakalaka kukondedwa. Kungoti kwa iwo kugonana ndi chiwonetsero cha kulumikizana uku
Kodi kugonana ndi kofunika bwanji kwa mkazi paubwenzi?
Kodi kugonana ndi kofunika bwanji kwa mkazi paubwenzi? Funso ili ndilofunika tikamakambirana za kufunika kwa kugonana muubwenzi chifukwa chabodza chofala chakuti akazi saona kufunika kogonana. Chowonadi ndi chakuti akazi nawonso amatha kukhala okonda kwambiri kugonana m'mabwenzi awo achikondi. Kusiyana kwa maganizo a amuna ndi akazi pa kugonana kumachokera m'mene awiriwa amafotokozera komanso kukumana ndi kugonana kwawo.
Ngakhale yankho loti kugonana kuli kofunika bwanji kwa mkazi paubwenzi silingathe kufotokozedwa momveka bwino, mitu ina yodziwika bwino imasonyeza kufunika kwa kugonana ndi momwe mkazi amaonera:
- Kugonana ndi kotengeka maganizo: Kwa amayi, kugonana ndi njira yozama kwambiri ya chiyanjano chomwe amagawana ndi okondedwa awo. Zilakolako zake zakugonana ndi zilakolako zake zimachokera kumalingaliro, kukumbukira ndi malingaliro ake osati kuthamangitsidwa kwa mahomoni.
- Kugonana kumamupangitsa kumva kuti akufuna: Kugonana ndikofunika kwa amayi omwe ali paubwenzi chifukwa kumawapangitsa kumva kuti akufuna. Mnzake kuyesera kumutembenuza ndi kupanga chikondi kwa iye ndikubwereza kuti amakondedwa ndi kuyamikiridwa
- Kugonana kumayendetsedwa ndi thupi ndi malingaliro: Kugonana kwa mkazi kungakhale kosasinthasintha, chifukwa kumayendetsedwa ndi zinthu zakunja monga thanzi lake lakuthupi ndi maganizo. Choncho, ngati pali mavuto mu chiyanjano, iye sangakhale ndi chidwi ndi kugonana. Mofananamo, pamene akutuluka m'thupi - nthawi zambiri pambuyo pobereka kapena pafupi ndi kusamba - kufunikira kwa kugonana kwa iye kungachepetse.
- Kugonana ndi chikondi: Azimayi ambiri sangafike pachimake pogonana ndi mbolo okha. Kwa iwo, chikondi ndi kunyenga zomwe zimatsogolera ku mchitidwe womaliza ndizofunikanso chimodzimodzi.
- Kugonana ndi njira yoperekera chikondi: Mofanana ndi amuna, akazi amaonanso kugonana monga njira yosonyezera chikondi. Ndicho chifukwa chake nthawi zambiri akazi amavomereza kugonana ngakhale sakumva. Si chifundo kugonana Komanso sali wokakamizika kunena kuti inde pamene sakufuna, koma amatero chifukwa chomufunira zabwino ndiponso mwachikondi.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Malangizo 10 Oti Musunge Kugonana Muukwati Wanu Ndi Kukusangalatsani
Mosakayikira, unansi wakuthupi ndi wofunika m’chikondi. Koma chimachitika ndi chiyani zinthu zomwe takhala tikulembapo zabwino zake, zikasiya kukhala muubwenzi wanu? Kodi ndizowona kuti palibe kugonana muubwenzi kumatanthauza zomwe anthu ambiri amanena: chiyanjano chosasangalatsa? Tiyeni tifufuze.
Zotsatira Za Kusowa Kugonana Mu Ubwenzi
Poganizira kufunika kwa kugonana muubwenzi, n'kwachibadwa kudabwa ngati kusakwanira pa chibwenzi kungasokoneze mgwirizano wa okwatirana. Kodi kuchoka pakugonana kochuluka koyambirira mpaka kukhala banja losagonana kumatanthauza kuti ubale wanu utha? Kapena kodi kuchepetsa nthawi zogonana ndi njira yabwinobwino?
Tinayankhula ndi Dr. Rajan Bhonsle, mlangizi wa mankhwala okhudzana ndi kugonana ndi uphungu, kuti amvetse zotsatira za kusowa kwa kugonana muubwenzi.
"Palibe kutsutsa kufunika kwa kugonana muubwenzi. Koma kodi muyenera kugonana tsiku ndi tsiku? Kodi nthawi zambiri kugonana ndi muyeso wokhawo wa moyo wathanzi wogonana? Yankho ndilo ayi. Ubwino wa ubale wapamtima pakati pa awiriwa si chinthu chomwe chingathe kufotokozedwa, osati kutengera jenda kapena zaka, "akutero.
Zotsatira za kusowa kwa kugonana paubwenzi ndizokhazikika
Malinga ndi Dr Rajan, kuti mumvetsetse zotsatira za kusowa kwa kugonana muubwenzi, muyenera kuganizira zochitika zenizeni za banjali. “Ngati okwatirana akhala m’banja kapena ali limodzi kwa zaka 30 kapena 40 ndipo akusangalala ndi moyo wogonana wabwino kwa zaka khumi kapena ziŵiri zoyambirira, ndiye kuti kuchepa kwa chilakolako chogonana sikusokoneza ubwenziwo.
“Zikatero, kuchepa kwa kaŵirikaŵiri kungabwere chifukwa cha zaka, kuchepa kwa libido, kapena kusintha kwa msambo ndi perimenopause mwa akazi.” Pali kumvetsetsa ndi kuvomereza kuti kusintha kwachilengedwe kumeneku n’kosapeŵeka.
"Kumbali ina, ngati awiriwa akadali ndi moyo wabwino ndipo moyo wawo wogonana ndi woipa chifukwa cha mavuto a m'banja monga mkwiyo, mkwiyo kapena kukwiya, ndi pomwe zotsatira zoyipa za kusagonana muubwenzi zimayamba kuonekera. Mukakhala pachibwenzi chodzipereka , kugonana koma palibe chikondi nthawi zambiri sikugwira ntchito. Chimodzi chimalumikizidwa ndi china."
"Kenako, pali chochitika chachitatu - chimodzi mwazosokoneza zogonana, pomwe mnzako wina atha kukhala osangalatsa poganiza kuti mugonane tsiku lililonse ndipo winayo sangamve kudzutsidwa. Panonso, zotsatira zosokoneza za kusowa kwa kugonana muubwenzi zimawonekera," Dr Rajan akutero.
Anthu ambiri akamamvetsetsa kufunika kwa kugonana muubwenzi, nchifukwa ninji nkhanizi zimabuka? Ndipo n’chiyani chingachitidwe kuti athane nazo mogwira mtima? Dr Rajan akuti zonse zimatengera kulumikizana pakati pa abwenzi.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Maumboni 11 Ochokera kwa Anthu Okwatirana Pa Chifukwa Chake Anasiya Kugonana
Kugonana, kufotokoza zofuna ndi zofuna za kugonana, kungakhale mutu wokhudza mtima. Makamaka, pamene okwatirana alibe chiyanjano chogonana. Izi zimalepheretsa kukambitsirana za zilakolako ndi ziyembekezo, zomwe nthawi zambiri zimayambitsa mavuto omwe angathe kuthetsedwa kukhala nkhani zazikulu.
Kuti ubwenzi ukhale wolimba, kugonana ndi kofunikira nthawi zonse, kapena kulankhulana bwino za izo. Umu ndi momwe kuyankhulana - kapena kusowa - kumakhudzira kuthekera kwa maanja kuthana ndi vuto la kusowa kwa kugonana muubwenzi:
Pamene maanja salankhulana za kusowa kwa kugonana
"Choyamba, okwatirana ayenera kudziwa tanthauzo la kusagonana, ndikuwonetsetsa kuti ali pa tsamba limodzi. Ndizochibadwa kuti okwatirana azigonana kwambiri atangoyamba kumene. Kuchepa kwa nthawi zambiri m'kupita kwa nthawi kulinso kwachibadwa. Choncho, kukhazikitsa ziyembekezo ndikofunika kwambiri. Izi zimafuna kukambirana.
“Nthaŵi zambiri, okwatirana sakambirana zinthu zimenezi moona mtima, makamaka ngati pali mavuto ena a pachibwenzi.” Chotsatira chake n’chakuti, kusakhutira m’chibwenzi kumakula.” Chizoloŵezi china chofala ndicho kuyembekezera kuti mnzanuyo amvetse zosoŵa zake popanda kuzifotokoza bwino.
"Koma palibe amene amakonda kuwerenga maganizo. Zosanenedwa - motero zosakwaniritsidwa - ziyembekezo zimatha kuwonjezera kukhumudwa kwa munthu pankhani yogonana. Chifukwa chake, pakakhala kusalankhulana kokwanira pankhani yokhudza kusagonana , zimapangitsa kuti ndewu, mavoti oletsa kugonana ndi nsalu zonyansa ziwulutsidwe pagulu."
Mwachitsanzo, ndinali ndi mlandu womwe mwamuna adanena kuti palibe kugonana kokwanira m'banja, pamene mkazi adanena kuti adagonana kawiri sabata yatha.
"Monga gulu losalowerera ndale, katswiri wodziwa za kugonana angathandize maanja kupeza zomwe amagwirizana ndikugwira ntchito kuti atsitsimutse chikhalidwe chawo cha kugonana m'njira yovomerezeka kwa onse awiri," akutero Dr Rajan Bhonsle.
Pamene maanja amakambirana za kusowa kwa kugonana
Kumbali ina, okwatirana akamalankhulana popanda kuimbana mlandu, amakhala okonzeka bwino kuthana ndi moyo wogonana wosakhutiritsa. "Ndinali ndi wodwala yemwe anali ndi vuto losakhazikika bwino, zomwe zinamupangitsa kudziona kuti akuchita bwino pabedi. Mkazi wake anayamba kuona kusafuna kwake kugonana ngati chizindikiro cha kuchepa kwa chidwi chake pa iye ."
"Atandiyandikira, ndinamuuza kuti vutoli likhoza kuthetsedwa ndi mankhwala. Iye analibe chidziwitso kuti n'zotheka. Ndi chithandizo choyenera, adatha kubwezeretsanso moyo wake wogonana. Zinali zotheka chifukwa chakuti anasankha kumasuka ndi kuyankhulana za izo.
“Momwemonso, padali nkhani yomwe mwamunayo sadakhutitsidwe ndi moyo wake wogonana, titafufuza zifukwa zake, zidapezeka kuti alibe chinsinsi chogonana, mkazi adati amagawana kuchipinda ndi mwana wawo popeza apongozi nawonso amakhala nawo ndipo mwanayo amangogona pang’ono ndipo amadzuka pang’ono.
"Kodi kugonana kungatheke bwanji, adafunsa. Panonso, pokambirana za vuto lawo, banjali lidatha kupeza malo apakati kuti zinthu zitheke," Dr Rajan akufotokoza.
Kufunika kwa kugonana muubwenzi sikuyenera kunyanyidwa. Komabe, kusowa chikondi sikutanthauza kuti ubale wanu ulibe tsogolo. Nthawi zonse pamakhala zifukwa zomveka, ndipo udindo wopeza ndi kuthetsa mavutowo ndi wa awiriwa. Ngati mukuona kuti simungakwanitse kuchita zimenezi nokha, kufunafuna thandizo la akatswiri ndiye njira yabwino kwambiri.
Ibibazo
Kugonana ndi chosowa chachilengedwe, monga kudya kapena kugona. Kupatula apo, zimathandiza okondana okondana kulumikizana pamlingo wapamtima. Ichi ndichifukwa chake kugonana kumachita mbali yofunika kwambiri muubwenzi.
Mosakayikira, kugonana kumalimbitsa maunansi. Ndichionetsero cha chikondi - ndichifukwa chake chimatchedwanso kupanga chikondi - chomwe chimakuthandizani kuti muzimva kuti ndinu olumikizidwa ndi bwenzi lanu komanso kuyamikiridwa ndi kukondedwa.
Inde, maubwenzi amatha kukhala popanda kugonana, bola ngati kuchepa kwa moyo wanu wakugonana sikuyambika ndi zomwe zilipo. Ngati nonse simuli ogonana ndi amuna kapena akazi okhaokha kapena kuchuluka kwa kugonana kwatsika chifukwa chachilengedwe, mutha kupitiliza kugawana ubale wokwanira komanso wachikondi ndi okondedwa wanu.
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