Xa ungena kubudlelwane, ukuba kungenzeka ukuba kungasebenzi akuthathi nokuba ukude nasiphi na isithuba engqondweni yakho. Nanjengoko ubudlelwane buqhubela phambili kwaye kuqalisa ukubonakala iyantlukwano kunye nokungqubana, awukakulungeli kwaphela ukuba kuphele de kube ngamakhethini - ukwahlukana kuyenzeka. Yiyo loo nto ukuphumelela ex yakho umva inokuba yeyona ngcamango ilawulayo engqondweni yakho xa ubudlelwane buqhuba.
Kweso simo sengqondo, xa ubhidekile, ubuhlungu, uphantsi kweemvakalelo zokulahlekelwa kunye nentlungu, konke oku kukushiya ukhathazekile emoyeni, ukucinga indlela efanelekileyo yokwenza kunokuba nzima. Ngaba ngokwenene ufuna i-ex yakho ibuyele? Okanye ngaba lo mnqweno ubangelwa kukungabi nangxaki okuye kwadalwa kukwahlukana?
Umgama othile kunye nembono echanekileyo yile nto kufuneka uthathe isigqibo sokuba ukuvuselela uthando oludala ngenene yinto oyifunayo. Kungoko kuphela onokuthi ucwangcise kwaye uphumeze izigaba ezahlukeneyo zokubuyela kunye kunye ne-ex ukuya kwi-T. Masikuncede wenze njalo, ngamagalelo amafutshane asuka kwisazi sesayikholoji. Juhi Pandey (MA, Psychology), ojongene nokuthandana, ngaphambi komtshato, kunye nokucebisana nokwahlukana, kunye neeNgcebiso zengqondo yengqondo uGopa Khan, ojongene nonyango lwentsapho kunye nemiba yempilo yengqondo.
Amanyathelo ali-18 okuphumelela i-Ex yakho emva
Isiqulatho
Ukuphela kobudlelwane akusoloko kusisiphumo sabantu ababini ukuwa eluthandweni okanye ukungahambelani njengamahlakani. Ngamanye amaxesha, iimeko zinokunyanzela isandla sakho, zikuzise ukuba uthathe isigqibo obungasifuni ngokwenene.
Kwiimeko ezinjalo, ukufuna ukuphumelela i-ex-girlfriend yakho emva - okanye ex-boyfriend kulo mbandela - ayisosigqibo esineflegi ezibomvu. Ukuba ucinga ukuba wenze ngokungxama okanye uzisole ngokwahlukana, kulungile ukuba ufune ukunika ulwalamano olunye udubulo. Ngapha koko, kungcono ukuba uzame kunokuba uphile ubomi bakho uzibuza ukuba inokuba yintoni.
Nangona kunjalo, kubalulekile ukwazi ukuba okuphumelela ex umva akukho lula njengoko ukuthumela “heyi” indlela yabo. Uya kuthandazela impendulo, kwaye ex yakho uya kuzibuza ukuba uphendula njani na ukuba 'hey' kwaye ulibale ngayo phambi kokuba babeke ifowuni yabo phantsi. Akufuneki ukuthetha, ukuba ucinga "Ngaba ungaphumelela i-ex emva?", Unako, kodwa kufuneka usondele kulo mbandela ngokufanelekileyo.
Ukuba kulapho ukhoyo emva kokwahlukana, nazi iindlela ezili-18 eziqinisekileyo zokuphumelela umva wakho wangaphambili kwaye ubenze bahlale ngonaphakade:
UkuFunda okuFanayo: Ukuhlukana kwexesha kusisondeza ngakumbi
1. Musa ukuqhagamshelana ne-ex yakho okwethutyana
Xa ufuna ukuphumelela ex-isoka lakho emva okanye ubuyelane kunye ex-intombi yakho, ukuchola ifowuni kwaye adubule kubo umbhalo inokuba ithuku ukoyisa. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba ufuna ukwazi ukuba uphumelele njani umva wakho wangaphambili kwaye wenze ukuba usebenze ixesha elide, impendulo ixhomekeke ekuzikhwebuleni kubo ngokukhawuleza emva kokwahlukana.
Oku kwaziwa kakhulu njenge Akukho Mgaqo woQhagamshelwano, enokuthi ibe luncedo ekuhlanganiseni amaqabane angaphambili kunye, njengoko ibanceda bafumane imbono yobudlelwane babo.
UGopa uthi, "Ukudlula kwispell sokungadibani emva kokwahlukana kubalulekile ukunqanda ukubanjiswa kubudlelwane obujikelezayo - apho amaqabane abambeke kwikhonkco lokuqhekeka kunye nokubuyelana. Ukuze isebenze, bobabini abantu kufuneka bazibophelele ekuthatheni inyathelo kubomi bangaphambili kwaye bahloniphe imida yomnye nomnye."
2. Vavanya ubudlelwane bakho
Ngexesha lokungaQhagamshelwana naye, thatha ixesha lokuzazisa kwaye uvavanye ubudlelwane bakho ngokufanelekileyo. Benithandana na nobabini? Ngaba usavakalelwa ngendlela efanayo ngabo? Kuthekani ngabo? Ngaba yayiyiyo ubudlelwane obunempilo? Ngaba nonwabe ngokwenene omnye komnye? Nanohlulwa yintoni?
Ngaba unokuwucombulula loo mahluko? Ngaba ex yakho ikulungele ukwenza iinzame zokutshintsha izinto ekupheleni kwazo? Ngaba uqinisekile ukuba unokwaphula iipatheni ezindala ezinokuba negalelo ekuqhekekeni?
Nyaniseka kuwe xa uphendula le mibuzo. Iimpendulo zakho ziya kukunika ingcaciso malunga nokuba ufuna ukuphumelela ex yakho emva okanye hayi. Ukuba ewe, ungaqala ukucwangcisa indlela yokuphumelela ex yakho emva emva kokuba akukho umfowunelwa. Ngokuzibuza le mibuzo, uya kube uphendula ungaqondanga “ukwazi njani ukuba kufuneka ubuyelane ne ex yakho okanye hayi”.
Ukuba ngexesha lokuphumla uye waqonda eyona nto uyithandayo yayiyimbono yobudlelwane kwaye hayi iqabane lakho lilonke, uphendule umbuzo ngokwakho.
3. Fumanisa ukuba basenendawo ethambileyo na kuwe
UMaria waphoswa ngumfana awayethandana naye kuphela waqonda ukuba ulwalamano lwaluyeyona nto ilungileyo eyenzekileyo kuye kwixesha elide. Ezi mvakalelo wazityhala ixesha elingaphezu konyaka, kodwa zabuya zomelele. Ngamanye amaxesha, wayezibamba ecinga ukuba "Kutheni ndikhumbula i-ex yam kakhulu nangona ndiyishiyile?" Ngaxa lithile, wagqiba ekubeni asebenzele ukubuyisa isithandwa sakhe sangaphambili.
“Umbuzo owawundijongile wawusithi: “Ungamfumana njani umntu owayethandana naye emva konyaka?” Ndandingasanxibelelani naye kangangethuba elithile yaye ndandingazi nokuba sele ehambile okanye akunjalo.” Emva koko, umhlobo osisilumko wathi ‘indawo yakhe ethambileyo ngoyena mhlobo wakho unamandla ekumzuzeni umva’, yaye loo nto yandichukumisa ngokwenene.
Uthi: “Ndaqala ngokungenamdla kubahlobo bakhe, ndibamb’ ongezantsi, ndisithi ‘molo’ kumakhasi onxibelelwano, ndikhokelela ekubeni ndibuze nje ukuba baqhuba njani.
UMaria wakubona oku njengomqondiso wokuba afuduke. Ukuba nawe uyafuna win ex-boyfriend back kwaye andazi ukuba baya kusabela njani, ukujonga ukuba basakukhathalele yindawo elungileyo yokuqalisa. Ukuphumelela umva ex kufuna iindlela ezahlukeneyo ngokuxhomekeke kwimeko yakho. Ulwazi oluninzi onokuthi uluqokelele phambi kokuba wenze intshukumo yakho luya kunceda amathuba akho okuphumelela.
4. Zisebenzele
Ngaphambi kokuba ufikelele kwi-ex yakho, ufuna ukuqhubeka ukusuka apho uyeke khona, thatha ixesha lokuzisebenzela. Ukuba ubudlelwane abuzange busebenze okokuqala, bekufanele ukuba ube negalelo kulo ngandlela ithile. Weeding ngaphandle ezo irritants encinane ubambe isitshixo indlela yokuphumelela ex yakho emva okulungileyo. Ukuba uqala kwakhona njengabantu abafanayo abangakwaziyo ukuyenza okokuqala, uya kugqiba iziphumo ezifanayo.
Kwakhona, uya kuzifumana usehla kwithambeka lomtyibilizi lokulwa kunye neengxabano ezixela intshabalalo kulwalamano lwakho. Umzekelo, ukuba ubungakhuselekanga kakhulu okanye unomona kubudlelwane, yiya kwiingcambu zolu tyekelo kwaye uzisombulule ngaphambi kokuba wenze iinguqulelo zokuphumelela umva wakho.
Ukubona iinzame zakho zivelisa iziphumo, izizathu zakho kufuneka zibe zilungile. Yenze ukuba ube luguqulelo olungcono kuwe, kwaye hayi ngenjongo yokuphumelela umva ex yakho. Ukuba uzama ukuphendula "Ngaba kufuneka uzame ukuphumelela i-ex yakho kwakhona?" impendulo intle kakhulu hayi, ukuba kuthetha ukuba uya kubuyela kwiindlela ezonakalisayo ezike zonakalise ubuhlobo bakho ukusa kwinqanaba lokwahlukana.
UkuFunda okuFanayo: Ngaba ulandela i-ex yakho kwimidiya yoluntu?
5. Yakha ukuzithemba kwakho
Juhi Pandey uthi ukuzithemba okuphantsi kunokuba ngunobangela weepateni ezininzi ezinobungozi ezinokukuxabisa ubudlelwane bakho. "Ukuba uziva ungakhuselekanga kubudlelwane bakho okanye usebenze kwindawo yomona okokuqala ngqa, ukuzithemba okuphantsi kunokuba ngunobangela.
"Indlela efanelekileyo yokujongana nayo kukutyalomali ekuzinyamekeleni. Ukutshintsha kwendlela yokuphila encinci njengokuhlala usebenza, ukuziqhelanisa nokuzibophelela ngokutya okufanelekileyo kunye nokulala kunokutshintsha indlela ozijonga ngayo, kunye nendlela oziphatha ngayo kubudlelwane, "utsho.
Kwimeko apho, iqabane lakho linguye othe uyekile, ukwahlukana kunokuphucula ngakumbi imvakalelo yakho yobuqu. Oku kwenza ukuba kunyanzeleke ngakumbi ukuba usebenze ekuvuseleleni ukuzithemba kwakho ngaphambi kokuba ucinge ukuba ungaphumelela njani i-ex-girlfriend yakho emva okanye ufumane i-ex-boyfriend yakho ukuba iphume nawe kwakhona. Ngokuhamba kwexesha, unokuqonda ukuba ukuba nemiba yokuzithemba kunokuba sesinye sezizathu kutheni ungatshatanga.
Xa uziva uphantsi ngawe, unokugqiba ukucinga ukuba ukubuyela kubudlelwane kunye ne-ex yakho kuphela kwendlela yokubuyisela ukuzithemba, ekubeni umntu owahlukileyo uya kukunika ukuzithemba. Kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuba akufuneki ujonge ukonyuswa kokuzithemba okanye ukuqinisekiswa kuye nabani na ngaphandle kwakho. Ukuba uthi, "Ndikhumbula i-ex yam kakhulu kubuhlungu", sebenzela ukuba kutheni kubuhlungu kakhulu ngaphambi kokuba uzame ukubabuyisela.
6. Gxila kwezinye iinkalo zobomi bakho
Ewe, siyazi ukuba usenokuba uyazibuza ukuba ukugxila kwezinye iinkalo zobomi kuya kukunceda njani ukuba uphumelele ex yakho emva. Ewe, isenokungakuthobi kwangoko kwindlela yokulungisa izinto kunye neqabane lakho langaphambili, kodwa ngokuqinisekileyo iya kukunceda uhlale uxakekile ngelixa uqhuba iimvakalelo zakho zasemva kokwahlukana kwaye uqonde into oyifunayo ngokwenene.
Yiba ngumsebenzi, izinto ozonwabisa ngazo kunye nezinto ozithandayo, ukomeleza ubudlelwane bakho nabahlobo kunye nosapho, yenza izinto ezikuzisela uvuyo ukuphepha ukwenza izinto ngokukhawuleza okanye ngokungxama. Ngaphandle koko, oku kuya kunceda ukuguqula ubuntu bakho, kukwenze ube yinguqulelo yakho ejikeleze kakuhle kwaye enqwenelekayo.
Yiba umntu ex yakho akayi kuba nako ukuxhathisa xa wenze overtures ukuba wiyise phezu kwakhona. Nje ukuba ugxininise ekutshintsheni ngokunemveliso ingqalelo yakho kwizinto eziya kukwenza uphile kwakhona, uya kuba ubuyisela nakuphi na ukuzithemba okulahlekileyo okanye ulonwabo onokuthi uphulukene nalo endleleni. Ngaba ex yakho ngokwenene ukuthi hayi kuwe ukuba uvutha ngexesha elizayo xa bekubona?
Isenokubonakala iyinto ephikisanayo ekuqaleni, kodwa ukuphumelela umntu owayesakuba ngasemva kufuna ukuba uzisebenzele phambi kokuba wenze intshukumo. Ke khupha ezo dumbbells, okanye uqale ukuchola iiprojekthi ezanelisayo.
7. Sebenza kwimbonakalo yakho
Ngaba ngokwenene kufuneka ugxininise inkangeleko yakho ukuze uwine ex-isoka emva okanye ukufumana ingqalelo ex-intombi yakho? Ewe, isenokungabuyiseli i-ex yakho ibuyele kuwe kodwa ngokuqinisekileyo iya kubenza bahlale kwaye baqaphele. Mhlawumbi, ndikujonge ngendlela entsha.
UStacey uthi uye wayokwenza utshintsho olukhulu emva kokwahlukana kwakhe okubuhlungu. Nangona wayenjalo ecinga nge ex yakhe emva kweenyanga behlukene, wayengenayo intliziyo yokumfumana emva kokulahlwa. Emva koko, wathumela imifanekiso embalwa yohambo awayeluthabathe neqela lemigulukudu yakhe yamantombazana.
Nanko, owayesakuba esabela kwimifanekiso yakhe kwimizuzu nje eyithumele. Emva kweeveki ezimbalwa zokuyeka ukuthanda, ekugqibeleni wangena kwi-DMs yakhe ngokuphendula kwibali le-Insta. Oko kwamnika ithuba elifunekayo lokuvuselela uthando kunye nowayesakuba ngumfana wakhe.
Ukuba sele uqalile inguqu yakho yokuzivocavoca emva kokwahlukana, sele unyuse amathuba akho okuba u-ex wakho abuyele kuwe. Xa ezo ntsuku zomlenze ekugqibeleni ziqala ukuhlawula, uya kuba nomyalezo ovela kwisicatshulwa sakho ngaphambi kokuba uphendule "Ngaba kufuneka uzame ukuphumelela i-ex yakho emva?"
8. Musa ukuba badmouth ex yakho
Le yenye yeempazamo zakudala ukuphepha xa ubuyela ex yakho. Xa usentlungwini emva kokwahlukana, kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukufuna ukuphalaza imbilini yakho. Kodwa ukwenza oko phambi kwabahlobo okanye kwimithombo yeendaba zentlalo kunokuthoba kakhulu ithemba lakho lokuphumelela umva wakho wangaphambili.
Yiyo loo nto kungcono ukuba ugcine isangqa sakho siqinile. Yabelana ngeemvakalelo zakho - nokuba ikrwada okanye ayimnandi kangakanani - nabahlobo abambalwa obathembileyo kunokuba uye edolophini nabo. Ngaloo ndlela, ukuba uthatha isigqibo sokubuyela kunye nabo, amazwi athethwa ngexesha lobushushu awayi kuma endleleni yakho.
Sicebisa ukuba uhambe ngokulula kwiziselo ngokunjalo. Iiglasi ezimbalwa zeeglasi zewayini zingakukhuthaza ukuba uthumele itekisi ethi "I hate u" kumntu wakho wangaphambili. Ngokungafunekiyo ukuthetha, ngentsasa elandelayo uya kuba nguGoogling "indlela yokuphumelela umntu emva kokumonzakalisa".
UkuFunda okuFanayo: Indlela abafana abathumela ngayo imiyalezo xa bekuthanda-Sikunika imikhondo eli-15
9. Musa ukwenza unxunguphalo
Ukubuyelana kunye ne-ex yakho inokuba yeyona nto isengqondweni yakho, kodwa ungavumeli loo nto ikwenze wenze kwindawo yokuphelelwa lithemba. I-Inundating ifowuni yabo nge-barrage yetekisi okanye ukwenza i-2 am iitekisi ezinxilisayo kunye neefowuni ezicela ukuba bakubuyisele ku-no-no enkulu.
Kobo busuku bunesithukuthezi, usenokuba uzisongile uzicingela, “Ndifuna umntu wam wangaphambili abuye kabuhlungu”, kodwa oko akuthethi ukuba ungababiza kanye ngolo hlobo. Oku kubaluleke ngakumbi ukuba ufuna ukuphumelela ex yakho emva xa bebona omnye umntu. UPatrick wayefuna ukubuyisela ubudlelwane bakhe obudala kodwa i-ex yakhe yayisele ibuyele kwindawo yokuthandana. Wayesoloko ebona umntu omtsha.
"Bonke abahlobo bam bandibuza into enye: "Uza kuphinda uphumelele njani intombi yakho yangaphambili xa kubonakala ngathi iqhubela phambili? Isenokubonakala ibubudenge kwabanye, kodwa ndandiqinisekile ukuba iminyaka emibini kunye naye yayiza kuthwala ubunzima ngaphezu kweeveki ezimbalwa ubudala.
Ngapha koko, ukwahlukana kwethu kwakusandul’ ukuba kukungaqondani okukhulu, yaye ndandingafuni ukuphila ngokuzisola ngokungazange ndizame ngokwaneleyo.” Ngoko, ngokuthe ngcembe ndabuyela ebomini bakhe ndaza ndamenza wabona ukuba ndandiya kumxhasa kungakhathaliseki ukuba kwenzeka ntoni na.
10. Yiya kubo ngesicelo nje esiqhelekileyo
Nokuba ufuna ukwazi indlela yokubuyisela i-ex yakho emva konyaka okanye kwiinyanga ezimbalwa kamva, isitshixo asikukubalalela. Endaweni yoko, zikhulule kubomi babo ngokuchukumisa isiseko, uchithe ixesha elithile ubambe, kwaye emva koko, ucebise ukwenza into kunye.
Qinisekisa ukuba nantoni na oyicebisayo ayizibophelelekanga kwaye ayinamaqabane. Umzekelo, ungabaxelela malunga nekhefi entsha okanye ngepub entsha eshushu efikileyo kwindawo yakho, kwaye ubabuze ukuba bangathanda na ukuyijonga nawe. Okanye usenokubamema ukuba bafumane isiselo kunye nabahlobo ngempela-veki.
Nantoni na engenzi ex yakho uzive ngathi ufunxwa emva kubudlelwane kanye bat yindawo elungileyo ukuqala. Ngaphezu koko, ukuba uzama ukuqonda ukuba wazi njani ukuba kufuneka ubuyelane ne-ex yakho okanye hayi, indlela abasabela ngayo ekuxhomeni kunye nabo. impawu zomzimba xa nobabini nidibana uya kunixelela yonke into enifuna ukuyazi. Ngubani owayesazi ngokuqaphela indlela abaziphatha ngayo ngakuwe uya kukuxelela ukuba ungaphumelela umva okanye hayi?
11. Yiphathe njengomhla wakho wokuqala
Ngenxa yokuba nobabini benithandana kwaye nahlukana ngeendlela, kuya kufuneka kubekho itoni yomthwalo weemvakalelo ukujongana nayo. Kanye xa uphinde wadibana ne ex yakho ayiloxesha lokuyilungisa. Kubalulekile ukutyhubela amanqanaba ahlukeneyo okubuyelana nomntu othandana naye, inyathelo elinye ngexesha, ukunqanda ukubetha umqobo endleleni.
Ngaphambi kokuba ufikelele kwinqanaba lokuphakamisa imiba emidala, kufuneka ufunde ukuba kwigumbi elinye ngaphandle kokuva intliziyo yakho ikrazula. Emva koko, kuza icandelo apho nifunda ukonwabela ukuba kunye nakuba ningafani. Kuphela kuxa udlule kula manqanaba apho unokuthi ube nencoko enyanisekileyo malunga nexesha elidlulileyo nelizayo.
Ukufika apho, kufuneka uphathe le nto eqhelekileyo, ngaphandle kokuzibophelela kunye ne-ex yakho njengoko ubuya kwenza nawuphi na umhla wokuqala. Gcina imibuzo yakho imnandi kwaye inika umdla, kodwa ungaphazamisi kakhulu. Usenokuba uyafa ukwazi ukuba baye balala nomntu ukususela ngokohlukana okanye ukuba baye yomhla okwethutyana. Sixhathise eso sihendo.
Kunoko, babuze ngomsebenzi wabo, abahlobo, izinto abazithandayo, intsapho, njalo njalo. "Ngoko, ngaba usadlala igalufa encinci kunye noJoseph?", Ifanelekile ngakumbi umbuzo 'womhla wokuqala' kunokuba, "Ugqibele ulala nalaa mntu uphangela naye ubumthanda?"
12. Dlala kancinci
Enye yeempazamo eziqhelekileyo zokuphepha xa ufumana umva wakho wangaphambili uzama ukubuyisela ukuxhatshazwa ngokwesondo xa udibana nabo okokuqala emva kokwahlukana. Ukwenza njalo kunokukufaka ngokukhawuleza kwi-friendzone. Owakho wangaphambili unokungaqondi kakuhle ii-overtures zakho njengomzamo wokuba ngabahlobo emva kokwahlukana.
Ke, yenze inqaku lokudlala ngothando kancinci, ungashiyi ngqiqweni malunga neenjongo zakho. Nokuba awuyithethi ngamagama amaninzi, baya kufumana ingqiqo yento oyifunayo. Nangona kunjalo, kusafuneka ulumke kancinci ngale. Ukuba uzama ukuphumelela umntu emva kokumlimaza, banokungakuxabisi ukuba udlala ngothando kunye naye kwangoko. Funda igumbi, tyibilika kwi-flirt kwaye ubone ukuba baphendula njani.
13. Ungalali nabo okwangoku
Ukuncwasa umntu owayesazama ukubuyisela umva yenye into, ukungena engxoweni kunye naye yenye into. Eli lokugqibela lithambeka elimtyibilizi eliya kukubeka kwindawo edidayo apho ningekho kunye okanye niqhawuke. Ukubuyela umva ukusuka apho kunye nokwakha kwakhona ubudlelwane kunokuba nzima.
USuzie, owayethandana ne-ex yakhe, wagqiba ekubeni adibane naye kwaye ancokole malunga noko kungahambi kakuhle nokuba banokunika ubudlelwane obunye.
“Ukuhlangabezana nobunzima bokuba kunye okwesihlandlo sokuqala emva kokwahlukana, sobabini sabetha ngaphezu kwamatyeli ambalwa.Ndithe ndingekathethi nokuthetha, imilebe yethu yayitshixiwe.Sayihlawula ngokukhawuleza itshekhi saza sabuyela kwindawo yakhe saza sagqibela ngokwenza uthando olungagungqiyo nolunenzondelelo omnye komnye.Kangangezihlandlo eziliqela.
"Ngentsasa elandelayo, incoko endandinayo engqondweni yayibonakala ingenamsebenzi. Andizange ndibuze into endiyifunayo, akazange acebise ukuba sibuyelane. Ngoku, sibanjwe kuhlobo lwe-fuck-buddy lobudlelwane. Sithinta isiseko rhoqo ngeveki okanye ngoko ukuze sidibanise kwaye yiloo nto, "u rues.
Imeko elolo hlobo isenokuphela ikukwenzakalisa ngakumbi, kwakhona. Ngaphandle kokunyaniseka, incoko evulekileyo, awusoze ukwazi ukuxelela i-ex yakho into oyifunayo kwaye uya kubambeka kwi-limbo ye- abahlobo abanokuxhamla ngamandla. Ngaphambi kokuba uyazi, uya kuzifumana uthi, "Ndifuna i-ex yam ibuyele kabuhlungu kubuhlungu" kwakhona.
14. Yiba nencoko ngekamva
Nje ukuba nobabini nikhululekile omnye komnye kwaye benidibana kwaye nincokola rhoqo, ninokuthi ekugqibeleni nixoxe ngesihloko sokubuyelana. Xelela ex yakho ukuba ufuna ukunika ubudlelwane enye shot, kwaye ke, bavumele ukuba baphendule.
Indlela abasabela ngayo ekuqaleni isenokuba okanye ingabi yile nto ubuyilindele. Oko benikhe nahlukana, kuqhelekile ukubona ukuba uyathandabuza okanye ungaqinisekanga ngokubuyelana. Khumbula, ukuba ubucinga ngendlela yokuphumelela ex yakho emva ixesha elide ngoku.
Owakho wangaphambili, kwelinye icala, usenokuba khange ayonwabele ingcamango ngokweenkcukacha ezininzi. Ngexesha lokuqala xa ubuza umbuzo, mnike ixesha langaphambili lokucwangcisa, ukucinga nokuphendula. Kulungile ukuba bafuna ukulala phezu kwayo okanye bacinge ngayo ngaphambi kokuba benze isigqibo.
Musa ukothuka okanye uqalise ukucinga ngezona meko zimbi entlokweni yakho.
15. Yazisa indlovu egumbini
Enye yeempazamo ekufuneka uziphephe xa uphinda ubuyela umva uphinda uqale ubudlelwane bakho ngaphandle kokujongana nemiba eyabangela ukuba uhlukane kwasekuqaleni. Umzekelo, ukuba uzama ukuphumelela eyakho ex emva emva ukukopela, kunyanzelekile ukuba uthethe malunga nendlela oza kuyenza ngayo intsilelo yentembeko.
Thatha umzekelo kaEliana noSteve. U-Eliana waphuma kubudlelwane kunye nekhaya awabelana ngalo noSteve emva kokufumanisa ukuba wayemkhohlisa. USteve wazisola ngempazamo yakhe, wayefuna ukulungisa aqale phantsi.
Nangona inxalenye ka-Eliana yayifuna ukuba noSteve, wayengenakukwazi ukudlula ukungathembeki. Ke, baye kunyango lwesibini kwaye basebenza indlela yabo yokuvuselela ukuthembana kubudlelwane ngaphambi kokuba babuyelane ngokunyanisekileyo.
UkuFunda okuFanayo: Ndithini xa ndithanda umntu ongandithandiyo?
16. Xoxa ngendlela onokwenza ngayo ubudlelwane 2.0 bubengcono
Into yokuba wena nowayesakuba nahlukane bubungqina bokuba kukho into engahambi kakuhle phakathi kwenu nobabini. Mhlawumbi, omnye wenu wayengakhuselekanga kakhulu okanye enomona kubudlelwane. Okanye mhlawumbi bekukho imilo eqhubekayo malunga neqabane elinye elidinga indawo kubudlelwane kwaye elinye lingayamkeli loo mfuno.
Ekubeni ukhe wadlula yonke kunye-ngaphandle-ndawonye-kwakhona rigmarole, kufuneka ufumane indlela yokusebenza malunga nale miba kwaye wenze ubudlelwane bakho ngcono kunangaphambili. Ngaphandle kokuba uyenzile loo nto, eli ayizukuba lixesha lokugqibela nahlukana nibuyelane kwakhona.
Olo mkhuba wokuphinda-phinda-kwakhona ukhawuleza unyuke ube kwipateni eyityhefu engaphilanga kulo naliphi na iqabane.
17. Shiya ixesha elidlulileyo ngasemva
Nje ukuba ulungise imiba yakho, izikhalazo kunye nenzondo, usebenze ngemiba yakho, shiya okudlulileyo ngasemva. Ukuba ngokwenene ufuna ukuba hayi nje ukuphumelela ex yakho emva kodwa ubenze bahlale ngonaphakade, oku non-thethwano.
Zibophelele ekuphatheni ubambiswano lwakho oluhlaziyiweyo njengoko ubuya kwenza kulo naluphi na ulwalamano olutsha. Akukho kuzisa iimpazamo ukusuka kwixesha elidlulileyo ukuya kwixesha langoku nakwixesha elizayo.
Umzekelo, emva kokuba uphumelele kwiinzame zakho zokuphumelela i-ex yakho emva kokukopela, zikhwebule kumkhwa wokuzithandabuza kuwo onke amanqanaba endlela. Hayi bejonga ifowuni yabo ngokufihlakeleyo okanye ukubabuza ngendawo abakuyo ngokuphindaphindiweyo.
Nanini na usenza loo nto, uthumela umqondiso wokuba awubathembi ngokupheleleyo. Kwimeko enjalo, amathambo amadala ekhabetheni aya kuphuma ngokukhawuleza okanye kamva kwaye anamandla obudlelwane bakho.
Ukufumana iividiyo ezingakumbi zengcali nceda ubhalise kwisiteshi sethu seYouTube. Cofa apha.
18. Thatha umtsi
Ngoku sele udlule kuzo zonke izigaba zokubuyelana nomntu owayethandana naye, ekuphela kwento eseleyo onokuyenza kukuthatha umtsi niqale ukuthandana kwakhona. Thatha amanyathelo omntwana kwaye wakhe ubudlelwane bakho ngokutsha kunokuba uqale apho ubuyeke khona okokugqibela.
Ngokuqinisekileyo nina nobabini niya kwabelana ngenqanaba lokuthuthuzela kunye nobudlelwane obusondeleyo obukade benobudlelwane ngaphambili. Oko kunokusebenzela inzuzo yakho xa uqala kwakhona ubudlelwane bakho. Nangona kunjalo, zikhulule ubuyele kwinqanaba apho wawukhona ngexesha lokwahlukana.
Ngokomzekelo, ukuba benihlala kunye xa nahlukana, musa ukupakisha iibhegi zakho kwaye ubuyele emva nje kokuba ugqibe ukunika ubuhlobo elinye ithuba. Yima kancinci, ubone ukuba izinto ziqhubeka njani, kwaye uthathe eso sigqibo xa nobabini nisilungele.
Indlela yokuphumelela umva wakho wangaphambili akukho lula okanye ukhawuleza, ngakumbi ukuba ufuna ukwenza ubudlelwane buhlale. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba uhamba ngomonde kwinkqubo yokudala umgama kunye nokuba wedwa okwethutyana ngaphambi kokuba ulungise iibhulorho kunye neqabane lakho langaphambili, ungayenza isebenze.
Indoda Vs noMfazi emva koKuhlukana - 8 Umahluko obalulekileyo
Umnikelo wakho awuquki isisa umnikelo. Iya kuvumela i-Bonobology ukuba iqhubeke nokukuzisela ulwazi olutsha nolwangoku kwiphulo lethu lokunceda nabani na osehlabathini ukuba afunde ukwenza nantoni na.
