Awutholi ukuthi uhlukumezekile emoyeni kuze kuhlwe. Kunzima ukuqonda izimpawu zokuqala zokuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo. Ukuhlukumeza ngokomzwelo kwenzeka ngokunyenya kangangokuthi isisulu asikuqapheli lokho ngenxa yokuthi abaqapheli incazelo yokuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo.
Incazelo yokuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo ithi lapho umuntu elawulwa, esetshenziswa, esolwa, exhashazwa, i-gaslight, begxekwa futhi impilo yabo engokwengqondo nokuzihlonipha kuyabhujiswa, ukuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo kwenzeka.
Ukuhlukumeza ngokomzwelo kanye nezimpawu zobudlelwane obunobuthi kuxhumene futhi uma udlula kulokhu okulandelayo kukhona isizathu sokukhathazeka:
• Uma ulahlekelwa ubuwena
• Uma ushintshile njengomuntu
• Uma usushintshe waba kubi kakhulu
• Uma kunesikhala esihlala sikhona ngaphakathi kuwe
• Uma uhlala ngokwesaba
• Uma belokhu bekugxeka ngakho konke
Abesifazane abazimele, abafundile, abaqeqeshiwe banamathuba amaningi okuhlala isikhathi eside ubudlelwano obunobuthi futhi ingxenye embi kakhulu yokuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo izisulu zinomuzwa wokuthi ziyiphutha.
Izimpawu ezicashile zokuhlukumeza ngokomzwelo zivela nge Uthando lwe-Bombing okuyinto eshawa ukunakwa nothando ukuze bathole ukwethenjwa kwabo ngokushesha ngangokunokwenzeka. I-Love Bombing kwenzeka kubo bobabili ubulili.
Uma umuntu ekuqabula namuhla akushaye ngempama kusasa lokho akukwenzi impama ilunge. Kuyizimpawu zomzimba zokuhlukumeza ngokomzwelo. Isitatimende esivamile sabahlukumezi - "Ngacasuka ngoba ungicasule."
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Abantu ngokuvamile bagcina bebekezelela ukuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo nangokomzimba ngenxa yokuntula inkululeko yezezimali. Izingane zisetshenziswa njengezintambo zokuhlukumeza ngokomzwelo umlingani.
Kodwa kanjani ukumisa ukuhlukumeza ubudlelwane? Iphutha lokuxhumana liholela ekuziphatheni okunobuthi, okungalungiswa. Kodwa uma kuwukuhlukunyezwa, ukucekelwa phansi kokuzethemba nokukhwabanisa, ayikho indlela yokukulungisa.
Kunezigaba zokululama ekuhlukunyezweni ngokomzwelo futhi ukuze welaphe ekuhlukunyezweni nakhu okumele ukwenze:
• Yakha inethiwekhi yakho yokusekela
• Xhumana nabangane bakudala
• Thola abangani abasha
• Zilungele ukusongelwa, ukusolwa ngokomzwelo kanye nokuhlaselwa komuntu siqu
• Yenza ijenali ukurekhoda lokho odlule kukho
• Themba imizwa yakho engokwemvelo
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Ukululama ekuhlukunyezweni ngokomzwelo kuthatha isikhathi kodwa kuyenzeka. Hlala phansi nophathina wakho nixoxe ngokuthi nizizwa kanjani ngokuhlukunyezwa bese nihamba nobabili niyokwelulekwa ngobudlelwano. Kukhona ithemba nokuphulukiswa okuvela ukuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo.
Esikhundleni sokubuza ukuthi “yini engalungile ngami?”, buza ingqondo yakho ukuthi “yini engalungile ngalobu budlelwano?”
Ukwelashwa kuzosiza ekwelapheni ekuhlukunyezweni ngokomzwelo futhi ningakhula ndawonye.
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Umnikelo wakho awuhlanganisi inhlangano esiza abantulayo umnikelo. Izovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolwakamuva emzamweni wethu wokusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.
