Umlutha Wezinhlelo Zokusebenza Zokuqomisana: Kungani Singakuyeki Ukuswayipha?

"Umlutha wezinhlelo zokusebenza zokuphola? Ngeke kwenzeke. Ngivele ngiswayiphe isikhashana," ungase ucabange. Kodwa ngaphambi kokuthi wazi, lawo “maswidi ambalwa” aphenduka abe ukuzingela okuthatha amahora amabili, ekugcineni uthi, “Kungani wonke umuntu eyinqaba kangaka?” 

Futhi uma ucabanga ukuthi usuqedile ukudabula i-cesspool ye-bios ethi “Awunasiqiniseko sokuthi kungani ngilapha” noma abafana abame nezilwane ezifuywayo zomngane wabo, ucabanga ukuthi uqedele konke. Kodwa ngokuzayo uma uvula ifoni yakho, inkumbulo yemisipha iyangena, futhi awukwazi ukuzibamba kodwa uvule i-Bumble/Tinder/Hinge, “isikhashana nje”.

Kanjalo nje, ukulutheka kohlelo lokusebenza lokuthandana kungakuhlasela. Ugcine nini ukuya endlini yokugezela ngaphandle kokukhipha ifoni yakho ukuze uthole umuntu ongaba ngumlingani wakho wokuphila (yeka uthando!)? Kulesi sihloko, isazi sezengqondo uDkt. Aman Bhonsle (Ph.D., PGDTA), ogxile ekwelulekeni kobudlelwano kanye ne-Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy, ukhuluma ngokuthi singase sibe umlutha kanjani futhi kungani singase sibe umlutha kumasayithi okuthandana.

Kungani Siyimilutha Yokuqomisana Izinhlelo Zokusebenza?

Abantu banomkhuba wokuthatheka kunoma yini eyenza inqubo ibe lula. Uma okuthile kwenza inqubo yokukhetha eyisicefe yangaphambilini ibe sobala kangaka, nakanjani bazolutheka yikho. 

Ngokusho kocwaningo olwenziwe yi -Match , ama-15% abantu abangashadile eMelika athi azizwa ethanda inqubo yokufuna idethi. Kusukela ngo-2021, i-Tinder inabasebenzisi abangaphezu kwezigidi ezingu-75 abasebenzayo ngenyanga emhlabeni jikelele. Uma ucabangela izifundo ezisitshela ukuthi izinhlelo zokusebenza zokuthandana ezisekelwe ku-swipe zihlotshaniswa nokwehla kwempilo yengqondo, lezo zinombolo ziyinkinga.

Mhlawumbe isizathu esikhulu salokhu kulutha ukuthi lezi zinhlelo zokusebenza zokuthandana zithengise into eyayiyinto ethule kakhulu futhi engakhulunywa ngayo, ikakhulukazi ezweni elifana ne-India.

Ukuqomisana kusakwenziwa kakhulu ngaphandle kwemvume yabazali. Uma uphendula into ethize ibe yifomula esuselwe kuhlelo lokusebenza, empeleni weqa leso singqimba somlindelo esingase siqondiswe indlela yakho ngumndeni. Ngandlela thize, i-apula lase-Edene ephaketheni lakho. Isithelo esenqatshelwe sitshelwe ukuthi singasiphishekeli. 

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izinkinga Ezinkulu Eziyi-13 Zokuqomisana Ku-inthanethi

1. Izinhlelo zokusebenza zokuqomisana zingenza kube lula inqubo ebangela amahloni 

Ukuqomisana kungaba, empeleni, inqubo yokuhlola. Umzuzu lapho ucela umuntu ukuthi enze inhlolokhono noma azibeke lapho, kungase kubangele amahloni kakhulu.

Ngakho-ke, isizathu sokuthi kungani ungase ube umlutha wezinhlelo zokusebenza zokuthandana ukuthi zenza yonke inqubo ifinyeleleke futhi ibe lula. Ngaphezu kwalokho, zidlula umthetho wokuthandana, obangela sonke isici esijabulisayo salokho.

2. Ukuzethemba ngokufunwa 

“Ngiyayithanda indlela ogqoka ngayo izinwele zakho!” “Ngiyayithanda into oyigqokile kuleso sithombe!” Ubungaqamba amanga uma uthi lezi zincomo azigcinanga iminwe yakho ebuhlungu ibuya ukuze nje umane uswayiphe, okungase kuthembise enye indumiso. Ngandlela thile, kufana nokukhohlisa ngokuphepha, ukukhushulwa kokuzethemba, kanye nokuqinisekiswa ngokucindezela inkinobho. Kufana nokuthola izinto ezinhle.

Ezweni langempela, kunzima kakhulu ukuthola umuntu ozokutusa ngempela ngendlela obukeka ngayo noma indlela osebenza ngayo noma nganoma yisiphi esinye isici. Lokho kungenxa yokuthi abantu abakhululekile kakhulu ngakho, njengoba iningi labo lingase lingazi nokuthi lingamncoma kanjani umuntu. Futhi uma unesixazululo esisheshayo salokho ephaketheni lakho, izizathu zokulutheka kohlelo lokusebenza lokuthandana zisobala.

3. Abanexhala lomphakathi basengozini enkulu yokuba imilutha yezinhlelo zokusebenza zokuphola

Ngokusho kwemibiko , abantu abakhathazekile ngokwezenhlalo basengozini enkulu yokuswayipha ngokungayeki. Uma unenkinga yokuxoxa mathupha, uzobe ukhululekile kakhulu ukwenza kanjalo ngemuva kokungaziwa kohlelo lokusebenza.

Ngezinhlelo zokusebenza zokuqomisana, ngeke udinge ukuthi ube sengcupheni yokuchayeka ngokomzimba. Futhi umzuzu lapho lokhu okufanayo kwakho kuthumela abaningi kakhulu "Sawubona, wyd?", uyazi ukuthi inkinobho yokungafanisi iseduze negama labo. 

Ngaphandle kokuphoqeleka ukuphuma endaweni yakho yokunethezeka, ukuthola okulungele ubuntu bakho nezidingo zakho kuye kwenzeka. Nokho, lapho izinto ziqhubeka kuze kube yilapho kufanele uqale usuku lokuqala, yilapho ukukhathazeka ngokuthandana kuzokukwenza ucabange, “Kulungile, sengiqedile ngezinhlelo zokusebenza zokuthandana.”

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izinto Abafana Abazenzayo Kuzinhlelo Zokusebenza Zokuqomisana Ezikhipha Abesifazane Ngokushesha

4. Umdlalo wokusebenza kwengqondo yomuntu, ukuswayipha okukodwa okukhanyayo ngesikhathi 

Idizayini ye-UX/UI yalezi zinhlelo zokusebenza idlala indima ekuqiniseni lokhu kumlutha. Noma yini esheshayo ngokuvamile ibonakala iwusizo. Noma yini esebenza kahle ibonakala njengenhle kakhulu. 

Lezi zinhlelo zokusebenza zidizayinelwe ngenhloso ecace kakhulu yokugcina abasebenzisi abaningi bexhumeke ngokuzinzile ngangokunokwenzeka. Abenzi bohlelo lokusebenza ababazisi ukuxhumana okwenziwa abantu, bayasazisa isikhathi abantu abasichitha ezinhlelweni zabo zokusebenza. 

Ngakho-ke ngesikhathi esizayo lapho ubona imibala ekhanyayo ikhanya ngamagama athi “Kuyafanelana!”, yazi ukuthi ukungena okungazelelwe kwe-dopamine eshaya ubuchopho bakho kwenza umonakalo omkhulu kunalokho ocabanga. Lungela ukuthatheka ngephrofayili, ngenkathi uzama ukuthola ukuthi ungamenza kanjani lo muntu athandane nawe.

5. Izinhlelo zokusebenza zokuqomisana nazo ziphathwa njengomdlalo

Ubuningi bezinketho manje ezitholakalayo zezinto ezifana nokuphola nje okuvamile kwenze konke okwenziwayo kwaba umdlalo. Umncintiswano wezinhlobo. “Mangaki ama-like osuwatholile?”, “Bangaki abafana abakushayile namuhla?”, “Ingabe uthola noma yimuphi umentshisi?” ezinye zezindlela izimpawu zokulutheka eziku-inthanethi zokuqomisana ezibonakala ngazo. 

Isidingo sokuthandwa siyisidingo esingokwemvelo somuntu. Futhi uma ungatholi ama-pings ocingweni lwakho ngamagama aheha i-dopamine, “Kuyafana!”, nakanjani uzozama ukudlala ngephrofayela yakho, njengokungathi wumdlalo ozama ukuwuphelelisa.

Ingabe Izinhlelo Zokuqomisana Zonakalise Isipiliyoni Sothando? 

Ingabe ukuswayipha okunganqamuki, isipoki, ukuthumela imiyalezo kabili, okulindelekile okuphambene konke konakalise ulwazi lokuqomisana nothando? Okudingekayo yimpendulo eyodwa exakile, futhi ungabheja idola lakho eliphezulu ukuthi umuntu usevele eswayipha ukuze athathe indawo. 

Yilapho-ke “osolwazi bothando” bengenela khona. Abathanda ukuphusha nokudonsa kwalo, labo abasuke bejaha, nomuzwa wokungazi-lapho-lokhu-kuya khona. Kubo, isipiliyoni sokuthandana sehlisiwe. 

Kufana nokuletha ithini lama-noodle enkomishi esheshayo kumuntu ozama ukwenza ama-noodle adonswe ngesandla ngesoso eboshiwe. Lapho okudingeka ukwenze nje ukwengeza amanzi, iningi lizophonsa i-gourmet ngefasitela.

Kodwa, ingabe ikhona indlela efanele yokuthandana? Ingabe ikhona incwadi yemithetho yokuthandana ku-Tinder ? Ekugcineni, ngabantu ababili okufanele babhekane. Ngabantu ababili abathola ukwazi ukulinganiselwa komunye nomunye, izici ezingavamile futhi bathole indlela yokuzilawula. Indlela abazenza ngayo izinto, kungokwabo ukuzisungula.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Umuntu Ongakwesobunxele Swayipha Kwesokudla: Inzondo Esekelwe Ezombusazwe Ekuqomisaneni Izinhlelo Zokusebenza

Umuntu oyisigqila sezindawo zokuqomisana angase aphikise, “Kungani uzama ukuphoqelela ukuqomisana ukuze kungene emigomeni osekunesikhathi eside yanda?” Impela, lezi zinhlelo zokusebenza zinokufaneleka kwazo. Ungasho ukuthi kulula ukuthi ungaya endaweni ethile futhi usebenzise imali ukuze wazi zisuka nje ukuthi awuhambisani nosuku lwakho. 

Olunye uhlangothi luthi kuyinto ejabulisayo, lapho ezothando zithola khona ithuba “lokuqhakaza ngokwemvelo”. Kubo, izinhlelo zokusebenza zokuqomisana azilutho ngaphandle komzamo ongenasineke wokulungisa uthando. Cabanga ngalokhu: Abanye abantu bajabulela amaphathi angalindelekile. Kodwa abanye bajabula kakhulu lapho bazi ukuthi kuhlelwa isimanga, futhi bangathanda ukuhlela ukusabela kwabo. Abanye abantu bathanda ukulawula, abanye abantu bathanda ukuvumela izinto zigeleze. 

Ekupheleni kosuku, ongathemba ngakho ukuhlangana nomuntu ozonda izimanga njengawe. Mhlawumbe uzohlangana kuhlelo lokusebenza lokuthandana “Umzondi”, lapho uxhumana nabantu abazonda izinto ezifanayo. Kulula, akunjalo?

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