Alukho uhlelo olungenangqondo lwendlela yokuphatha owesifazane ngendlela efanele. Njengabantu ngabanye, abesifazane banelungelo lemizwa yabo, imizwelo eyingqayizivele kanye nalokho abakulindele. Akubona bonke abathanda izidlo zakusihlwa eziwubukhazikhazi noma abadinga ukuthi uhlale ubabambele umnyango. Nakuba ngezinye izikhathi befuna ukuzizwa bekhethekile futhi bethandwa, izimfuno zabo zangempela ebudlelwaneni zingokwemvelo.
Indlela yokuphatha owesifazane omthandayo akukhona nje ukumyisa kumafilimu afanele ukumbonisa ukuthi uyamkhathalela. Ijula kakhulu kunalokho. Ebudlelwaneni, owesifazane akafuni nje ukuzijabulisa kodwa futhi ufuna ukwakha ukuxhumana okuqinile, okunenjongo nawe, ukusondelana ngokomzwelo angakujabulisa.
Impendulo yokuthi ungayiphatha kanjani intombi yakho ngendlela efanele ilele ekubhidlizeni lezo zindonga, uyibonise uhlangothi lwakho olusengozini futhi uyivumele ingene enhliziyweni nasempilweni yakho. Kuzwakala njengokuhleleka okude? Hhayi-ke, uma inhliziyo yakho isendaweni efanele futhi uzwa ngempela ukuxhumana naye, kuzoza kuwe ngokwemvelo. Ukukusiza ukuthi usheshe, silapha ngemininingwane yokuthi uphathwa kanjani umuntu wesifazane osebudlelwaneni.
Ngakho uma ufuna ukwazi ukuthi kufanele umphathe kanjani owesifazane omthandayo, indlela yokumenza azizwe efunwa futhi enakekelwa, indlela yokumenza azizwe ethandwa futhi ehlonishwa, kufanele ulandele amathiphu ethu awusizo.
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Okuqukethwe
Ziningi izindlela zokukhombisa owesifazane ukuthi ungaba khona kuye. Ukuzijabulisa nemidlalo kunendawo yakho, kodwa ubudlelwano bangempela bakhelwe phezu kwezinqwaba ukuhloniphana. Owesifazane akafuni nje ukuthandwa, kodwa ufuna ukuzizwa ehlonishwa futhi ehlonishwa. Ufuna ukuzizwa ethandwa futhi aziswa.
Indlela yokuphatha owesifazane ngothando? Indlela yokuphatha owesifazane ngenhlonipho? Izimpendulo zale mibuzo zincike esimweni sakho sengqondo kuye nasebudlelwaneni bakho. Ukuthola lezi zithako ezincane ebudlelwaneni bakho kufanele kukubekele isiqalo esihle. Nazi ezinye izindlela zokuphatha umuntu wesifazane ngendlela efanele ebudlelwaneni:
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1. Yiba khona kukho konke ukusebenzelana kwakho
Uma uthanda othile, ulindele ukuba udlulele ngale kwezici zakhe ezikha phezulu futhi umqonde ngokujulile. Owesifazane akafuni ukuthi umane uwele ngenxa yobuhle bakhe, kodwa khomba ukujula kobuntu bakhe. Uma umuntu wesifazane evula isifuba ufuna ukukukhombisa uhlangothi lwakhe angalukhombisi njalo kwabanye abantu.
Uma ufuna ukuphatha kahle owesifazane ekusebenzelaneni kwakho, kufanele ube khona futhi wamukele konke azimisele ukwabelana ngakho nawe. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ama-anecdotes akhe adlule noma ingxabano abe nayo emsebenzini, akufanele ungamnaki.
Ukuphatha owesifazane ngendlela efanele kuwukuvuma ukuba khona kwakhe futhi ngezinye izikhathi lokho kulula njengokumnaka ngokungaguquki. Kungaba ukuqonda indlela yokuphatha owesifazane ngosuku noma wenze ezinye zakho ezibalulekile bazizwe baziswa futhi baziswa, ukuba isilaleli esihle kuyisihluthulelo.
2. Buza ngosuku lwakhe
Ungayiphatha kanjani intombi yakho ngendlela efanele futhi ube yindoda yamaphupho ayo? Akufanele nje ube khona ngokugcwele futhi wamukeleke, kodwa kufanele futhi ube nemibuzo. Ukwazi ukuthi uphathwa kanjani umuntu wesifazane omthandayo wukwazi konke ngaye. Angase aqhume imizwa noma izindaba angase azenze ngifuna ukwabelana nawe. Kodwa akumele uhlale ulindele ukuthi azenzele yena.
Kufanele uveze izihloko akhulume ngazo ngaphambili, ubuze ukuthi banjani abangani bakhe futhi ubuze ngothando ngosuku lwakhe. Owesifazane akafuni nje ukwabelana nawe ngempilo yakhe. Naye ufuna ukwazi ukuthi nawe ufuna ukwenza okufanayo naye.
Ngentshisekelo yakho, ungamazisa ukuthi utshalwe kuye njengoba naye etshalwe kuwena. Lokho nje kukodwa kwanele ukumenza azizwe ethandwa, ehlonishwa, futhi ethandwa futhi unomlingani omphatha kahle.
3. Mshayele njalo
Indoda kufanele imphathe kanjani owesifazane? Ngendlela engamshiyi ehlale eqagela izinhloso nemizwa yakhe. Ukusabela, ukuqalisa ukuthintana nokubuyisela imizamo yakhe yokuhlala uxhumekile kuyizindlela ezimbalwa zokwenza lokho.
Ukuphatha owesifazane ngenhlonipho kuwukuqaphela indlela asondela ngayo kuwe. Uma ekufonela kungenzeka akukhumbule. Nokho, uma ungakwazi ukuthatha ucingo lwakhe, kulungile. Ungakhohlwa ukumfonela emuva uma uthola ithuba.
Kuvamile ukukhohlwa ukuphinda ushayele othile ucingo kodwa hhayi esimeni lapho uzakwenu ohilelekile. Ukuba yingxenye yokuphila komunye nomunye kuwukunaka kakhulu omunye komunye. Ukukhohlwa ukumfonela kungamenza azizwe engabalulekile kuwena. Futhi, qiniseka ukuthi umthumelela umbhalo noma ungambuyiseli Uthumele umyalezo kuqala.
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4. Mtshele izinto ozifelayo ngazo
Impendulo yendlela yokuphatha owesifazane ngamanga othando imenza azizwe sengathi uyingxenye ebalulekile futhi ebalulekile yempilo yakho. Umuntu wesifazane kumele azi ukuthi umbona ngendlela akubona ngayo. Ufuna ukuthi ube nentshisekelo futhi angathanda ukubuyisela umusa kuwe.
Ukuphatha owesifazane ngendlela efanele, akufanele uvikele imizwa yakho, imibono, noma imibono kuye. Ubudlelwano obunempilo bumi ekukhulumisaneni. Uma ukhuluma naye umenza azizwe ekhethekile. Angathanda ukwazi okwengeziwe ngempilo yakho siqu nokuthi ungubani njengomuntu. Mnikeze lelo thuba futhi uvule isifuba kuye.
5. Yiba nokuqonda
Iningi labangane bami asebevile eminyakeni engu-20 likhala ngokungabi bikho kwalesi senzo sabesilisa. Ikakhulukazi phakathi nezinsuku zokuqala zokuqomisana, kungaba nzima ukukala ukuthi yini umuntu ayifunayo noma izinto azithandayo. Kodwa-ke, abesifazane bavame ukushiya amacebo acashile. Uma ufuna ukuphatha owesifazane ngothando ngendlela efanele, thatha lawo macebiso.
Ukuthi owesifazane ufuna ukusondelana ngokomzimba ngaleso sikhathi noma unesithukuthezi esisobala ngalesi simo, uzoshiya izinkomba. Ukuhogela lezo zimpawu kuba umthwalo wakho omkhulu. Ungamnaki ngisho ekupha amasiginali ahlanganisiwe ukufunda indlela yokumphatha ngothando.
Awudingi ukweqa phezulu ekwenzeni kanjalo, kodwa ukuqaphela okuncane kanye nombono kungabongwa kakhulu. Lapho azi ukuthi uvumelana nemizwa yakhe futhi uyayazisa, uyozizwa anelisekile futhi enakekelwa.
6. Qaphela izinto ezibalulekile kuye
Ukuphatha owesifazane omthandayo akukhona nje ukwazi izinto azithandayo nangazithandi, kodwa futhi ukukhombisa ukuthi unendaba efanayo. Uma ewukhathalela kakhulu umndeni wakhe noma inja yakhe, vumela ukuqaphela kwakho lokho kubonise kahle ekuhlanganyeleni kwakho. Ukuze wazi ukuthi yini ayikhathalela kakhulu ungakwazi ambuze imibuzo embalwa.
Uma emkhathalela ngokujulile udadewabo, kufanele ukukhumbule lokho futhi mhlawumbe ummemele esidlweni sakusihlwa esijabulisayo. Uma umlingani wakho etshale imali enkulu emsebenzini wakhe futhi ewukhathalela kakhulu umsebenzi wakhe, jabulela imibono yakhe naye. Ukusebenzisa izinto ezibalulekile kuye ukwakha ukuxhumana okuqinile naye kuyindlela engaphansi kodwa enomthelela yokuphatha owesifazane osebudlelwaneni ngendlela efanele.
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7. Mzwele
Indoda kufanele imphathe kanjani owesifazane? Ngendlela angathola ngayo isiqiniseko sokuthi usebuyile, futhi uzizwa evikeleke ngokuphelele ebuhlotsheni. Enye yezindlela eziningi ongenza ukuthi lowo wesifazane okhethekile empilweni yakho azizwe ngaleyo ndlela iwukuba ngaso sonke isikhathi ube khona ngenxa yakhe.
Uma owesifazane omthandayo enosuku olunzima noma isonto, angase akudinge okungaphezu nje kokumgona. Khumbula, isizathu esiyinhloko sokuthi nindawonye ukuthi uyakuthanda ngobani ongowangaphakathi.
Uma ebhekene nesimo esinzima, udinga ukuthi wenze umlingo wakho futhi ube ngumuntu athandana naye. Ukumkhumbuza ukuthi uyathandwa futhi waziswa. Udinga ukwazi ukuthi kunezinto ezingcono kakhulu empilweni yakhe kunezinkinga zakhe, udinga ukuthi umsize.
8. Menze ahlangane nabangane bakho
Kusho ukuthini ukuhlonipha umlingani? Indlela yokuphatha owesifazane ngenhlonipho? Ingabe imayelana nokuvumelana naye ngaso sonke isikhathi? Noma ngezenzo ze-chivalrous ezifana nokumbamba iminyango? Cha, futhi cha. Ungenza umuntu wesifazane azizwe ehlonishwa ngokumenza ingxenye yempilo yakho futhi ungamshiyi uzizwe sengathi uyimfihlo encane edinga ukufihlwa kubantu osondelene nabo.
Umuntu wesifazane uhlale efuna ukwazi ukuthi uyaziqhenya ngaye nangobudlelwano bakho naye. Awufuni neze azizwe sengathi unamahloni ngaye. Ukuze ugweme leyo mizwa ngokuphelele, mfake empilweni yakho ngokusemandleni akho. Indlela enhle yokwenza lokho ukumethula kubangani bakho. Ngaleyo ndlela uzokwazi ukuthi uyakujabulela ukuba naye futhi umbheke njengobalulekile ngokwanele ukuhlangabezana naye ukuphumula kwephakethe.
9. Pheka isidlo sakhe sakusihlwa kanye ngesikhathi
Impendulo yendlela yokuphatha owesifazane ngokothando ilele ezenzweni ezincane, ezingenangqondo nezothando. Ukupheka kuyindlela enhle yokunakekela umuntu futhi nokumkhanga. Kungumzamo olula uma kuqhathaniswa ongahamba ibanga elide.
Lapho ufaka umzamo wokwenza owakho izinsuku ezikhethekile, umlingani wakho uzozizwa ebaluleke kakhulu. Lena indlela enhle yokumenza azizwe efunwa. Ngokumenzela ukudla akuthandayo, uyomenza azizwe aziswa. Vula ibhodlela lewayini futhi usuku lwasekhaya oluthandekayo.
Kungase kubonakale njengesenzo esingabalulekile uma kuqhathaniswa nakho konke ukuthinta okuhle ongakwenza ukumazisa ukuthi ubaluleke kangakanani kuwe. Kodwa yilezi zinto ezincane ekuphileni empeleni ezihlanganisa abalingani ndawonye futhi zibabophe ngesibopho esihlala njalo.
10. Khuluma ngalokho okuthandayo ngaye
Ukuze uphathe owesifazane njengendlovukazi, kufanele uhlale umcindezela ukuze abe ngowakhe. Ngokubeka ukholo kuwena, ufuna uthembeke kuye ngokuphelele ngalokho okucabangayo ngaye. Kungaba kuhle upelepele ezinye izincomo ukuphatha kahle owesifazane.
Lokhu kuncoma akufanele kwenziwe noma ngenxa yengxoxo. Lapho umthanda, uyozibona ngempela izinto ozazisayo ngaye. Okufanele ukwenze nje ukumazisa ukuthi uyazibona futhi uyazazisa lezo zinto. Mtshele wena umthole engenakuvinjelwa. Lena indlela ekahle yokumphatha ngothando.
Ngokunjalo, uma uzibuza ukuthi uphathwa kanjani umuntu wesifazane ngenhlonipho futhi umkhombise ukuthi umazisa kangakanani ngalokho ayikho, mncome ngamasudi akhe aqinile nezici zobuntu bakhe. Okuncane okuthi “Wenza okuningi kuwo wonke umuntu oseduze kwakho” noma “Ngiyakwazisa ukuthi unothando lwalesi sizathu” kungaqinisa indlela enibonana ngayo.
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11. Yazi ukuthi amaphupho akhe athini
Ukuthanda umuntu kakhulu kuwukuhlale ufisa ukumqonda. Into eyodwa okufanele uyinake kakhulu ngamaphupho akhe. Izifiso zawo wonke umuntu zibaluleke kakhulu kubo futhi zibumba ukuthi bangubani njengabantu. Uzokwenza ngokuphelele zuza inhliziyo yakhe uma ungaba umoya ngaphansi kwamaphiko akhe.
Ukuphatha owesifazane kahle kuwukuqaphela ukuthi ufuna ukuba ngubani. Noma ngabe ufuna ukuba ummeli, usokhaya, usomabhizinisi noma bonke, amaphupho akhe kufanele abaluleke kakhulu kuwena njengaye. Isihluthulelo sendlela yokuphatha owesifazane kahle ebudlelwaneni ukuthi ungalokothi uphazamise amaphupho akhe noma uwachithe.
12. Menze azizwe e-sexy lapho nihlangana
Ungayiphatha kanjani intombi yakho ngendlela efanele? Ngokumazisa ukuthi uzizwa unenhlanhla kangakanani ngokuba naye empilweni yakho. Isoka kufanele liphathe intombi yalo njengento eshisa kakhulu kulo mhlaba. Akekho owesifazane ofuna ukuzizwa engavikelekile ngokungabi muhle noma efiselekayo ngokwanele kumuntu wesilisa.
Uma u mfise ngokomzimba, mazise ukuthi ushaya ingqondo yakho kude. Amazwi athambile athi 'ubukeka umuhle kakhulu namhlanje ebusuku' phakathi nokuqabulana, angaphinda kathathu ukuzethemba kwakhe lapho enawe. Uzozizwa efunwa kakhulu.
13. Yazisa imibono yakhe eyingqayizivele
Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ngezindlela ezinhle noma ezimbi, owesifazane uzohlala ehlukile kuwe futhi abambe eminye imibono nemibono. Akudingekile ukuthi uvumelane nendlela acabanga ngayo kodwa kufanele uhlale ukwazisa izinto azicabangayo.
Ngokwesibonelo, ukholelwa embonweni oyingqayizivele wefilosofi ongavumelani nawo ngokuphelele. Nokho, umkweleta ukulalela imibono yakhe futhi uzame ukuqonda ukuthi yini emenza acabange ngaleyo ndlela. Indlela yokuphatha owesifazane ngenhlonipho kuya phansi kulokhu.
Akekho noyedwa kini okumele aguqule indlela azizwa ngayo kodwa akufanele amahlulele noma amehlise ngokucabanga okuhlukile. Kufanele umhloniphe ngalokho ayikho. Uma wenza kanjalo, uzoyihlonipha ngokwemvelo imibono yakhe nombono wakhe.
14. Hlonipha indawo yakhe
Owesifazane uzokwenza kucace kuwena uma edinga isikhathi sokuphola noma eyedwa ngemicabango yakhe. Ukumxina ngemibuzo nokumqumba ngothando ngaleso sikhathi ngeke kwenze ubuqili. Noma ngabe ukhona ebonakala ecasukile noma umane ezindla, owesifazane ufanelwe isikhathi sakhe kuyena. Mvumele ukuthi abe yedwa ngaphandle kokuzizwa esongelwa.
Indlela efanele yokuphatha umuntu wesifazane osebudlelwaneni wukumnika indawo yokuthi abe ngumuntu wakhe. Futhi lokho kuhlanganisa ukungenzi lutho olukhulu kuye ngokufuna ukuthatha isikhathi sokuqhumisa umusi.
15. Khumbula izinto ezincane
''Ingabe bekungelona igama lenja yakho yokuqala, Amapentshisi?'' noma “Awuwathandi ama-olives ku-pizza yakho, akunjalo?'' yimisho engahleliwe engaletha ukumamatheka ebusweni bayo. Ukubonisa owesifazane ukuthi umthanda ngempela futhi umenzele isikhala ekuphileni kwakho, kufanele uzame ukukhumbula imininingwane ewubulima, emincane akutshela yona.
Ngaso sonke isikhathi lapho isoka lami lazi izinto ngami engangingakhumbuli ngimtshela ngazo, ngangizizwa ngimusha umuzwa wokulondeka kanye nothando. Kuhlala kuyizinto ezincane ezibonisa isithombe esikhulu kunazo zonke.
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Udingani umuntu wesifazane ebudlelwaneni?
Ubuhlobo bungafana nokungena olwandle, okungaba mnandi ngempela ukuhamba ngomkhumbi. Kodwa ukwenza lokho okuhlangenwe nakho kube okujabulisayo, ukapteni nabasebenzi kufanele bavumelane. Ukuze kube nohambo olushelelayo, kudingeka kube nokuxhumana okushelelayo kanye nokushintshisana okwakhayo phakathi kwakho kokubili.
Okudingwa umuntu wesifazane ebudlelwaneni, umaqondana athembele kuye. Ukushintshisana okushelelayo kwezenzo, amazwi, imibono nemizwa kubaluleke kakhulu kuye. Akagcini nje ngokufuna umuntu amethembayo, kodwa ufuna ukuzizwa ethenjwa futhi.
Ngothando, kuza umthwalo omningi komunye umuntu. Owesifazane udinga othile ongase abe namandla okuthwala leyo mithwalo yemfanelo esikhundleni sokushayela aqonde emanzini aneziyaluyalu. Futhi noma isimo siba nzima, udinga ukuba nomuntu angakwazi ukumbamba isandla ngaphandle kokukhathazeka, phakathi nale nkinga.
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Ebudlelwaneni, owesifazane ufuna ukuthandwa, ukwazisa, ukuhlonishwa futhi owesifazane ufuna ukuphathwa ngendlela yothando. Ufuna umaqondana omesekayo, oziqondayo izifiso zakhe futhi ame ngakuye ezikhathini ezinzima.
Awudingi ukwenza umzamo omkhulu ukuze wenze owesifazane azizwe ethandwa futhi enakekelwa. Yenza izinto ezincane njengokumlalela uma ekhuluma, ukumbamba isandla uma ecasukile, ukwazi amaphupho akhe, ukumzwela nokuba nguwena phambi kwakhe. Kufanele ukhumbule izinto ezincane ngaye futhi umenze azizwe engenakuvinjelwa.
Indlela efanele yokuthanda umuntu wesifazane ukumhlonipha. Kufanele umthande futhi umazise ngalokho ayikho, mnike isikhathi sakho futhi umlalele ngokucophelela lapho ekhuluma. Mshayele njalo futhi umenze azizwe efunwa.
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Umnikelo wakho awuhlanganisi inhlangano esiza abantulayo umnikelo. Izovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolwakamuva emzamweni wethu wokusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.
