Cikakken Jagora akan Matakai 10 Na Faɗuwa Cikin Soyayya

Ƙauna, ƙaƙƙarfan ruɗani da ta mamaye mawaƙa, masana falsafa, da mafarkai tsawon ƙarni, motsi ne mai nau'i-nau'i. Wannan cikakken jagorar yana zurfafa cikin matakan soyayya, yana ba da haske game da asirai waɗanda suka ba mu mamaki kuma suka dame mu cikin shekaru masu yawa. Alal misali, za a iya taimakon yin soyayya? Ta yaya mutane suke soyayya? Kuma yaya soyayya take ji?

Yayin da na yi tunani a kan abubuwan da na samu don taimaka muku samun amsoshin waɗannan tambayoyi masu ban sha'awa, na tuna da wani gamuwa mai ban tsoro. Wani babi na musamman na rayuwata ya fito waje - lokacin da na tsinci kaina ina zagayawa cikin labyrinth da ke soyayya. Wannan tafiya ba hanya ce ta madaidaiciya ba amma taswirar motsin rai da bincike, kowane mataki yana barin alamar da ba za a iya gogewa a raina ba.

A lokacin farkon farkon soyayya, lokacin hutun amarci ne, na fuskanci jan hankali wanda ya kusance ni da wani ta hanyar da na kasa bayyanawa. Ban san cewa wannan shine kawai share fage ga abin da ke gaba ba. Ku kasance tare da ni yayin da nake bayyana matakai 10 na soyayya.

Menene Alamomin Soyayya?

Ta yaya soyayya take farawa? Ko ta yaya mutane suke soyayya? Alamun faɗuwa cikin soyayya kamar taurarin taurari ne a sararin sama - da dabara amma mai zurfi, saƙa da kaset na motsin rai wanda zai iya barin mutum cikin farin ciki da rauni. Yayin da muke bincika alamomin da ke nuna cewa soyayya tana bunƙasa, yana da mahimmanci mu gane cewa waɗannan sigina sukan wuce iyakokin al'adu, suna shigar da harshen duniya wanda ya samo asali daga jin ƙauna wanda ya wuce kalmomi. Ko kana cikin farkon matakan soyayya mai tasowa ko samun sha'awar wani da kuka sani shekaru da yawa, waɗannan alamun suna zama alamomin sama akan taswirar tafiyar zuciya:

• Butterflies a cikin ciki: Sau da yawa ana danganta jin daɗin soyayya tare da motsin motsi, kama da malam buɗe ido na tashi a ciki. Wannan alama ce ta al'ada ta farkon matakan soyayya. Tashin hankali da jira kafin gani ko mu'amala da abin so alamu ne da ba su da tabbas.
• Tunani na yau da kullun: Yaya soyayya take ji? Anan akwai wata alama da ba ta da tabbas cewa kuna soyayya: mutum ya shagaltu da tunanin ku, ko dare ko rana, kuma ba za ku iya daina tunanin su ba ko kuma ku ci gaba da damuwa da su. Yana da kama da matakan farko lokacin da soyayya ta mamaye zuciyar ku
• Hankali mai ƙarfi: Ƙauna tana da hanyar haɓaka martanin motsin zuciyarmu. Idan kun sami kanku fiye da yadda kuke ji da buƙatun mutumin da kuke faɗowa gare shi, tare da samun ƙarin fahimtar farin ciki da baƙin ciki, wannan shaida ce ga zurfafa haɗin gwiwa
• Maganar Magnetic: Sha'awar maganadisu da ke jawo ku ta jiki da ta jiki zuwa ga mutum wata alama ce da ba za a iya fahimta ba. Ya wuce sha'awar kamanninsu kawai; Ƙarfin da ba za a iya kwatantawa ba ne wanda ke jawo ku kusa, yana haɓaka fahimtar kusanci da kusanci. Wannan shine ɗayan mafi yanke hukunci na faɗuwa cikin soyayya
• Gabatar da farin cikin su: Yayin da soyayya ta samu tushe, abubuwan da suka fi dacewa da ku suna canzawa, kuma farin ciki da jin daɗin sauran manyan ku sun zama mafi mahimmanci. Da zarar sadaukarwar da ba za a iya zato ba na iya zama kamar maganganun dabi'a na zurfafa ƙaunarku

Bincike ya nuna cewa ilimin halayyar soyayya ba shi da bambanci da jin daɗi da kwayoyi ke haifarwa. Don haka, idan kuna mamakin, "Za a iya taimakawa yin soyayya?", Sau da yawa fiye da a'a, amsar ita ce a'a. Yin yaƙi da jin daɗin soyayya babban yaƙi ne ga mafi yawansu. Ya ce, “Tare da sabbin dabarunsu don bayyana kanmu na sinadarai da kuma neurophysiological, gungun mutanen Darwiniyanci na zamani ba su sami matsala wajen kawar da asiri daga soyayyar soyayya ba.

"Suna gaya mana cewa lokacin da muka fada cikin soyayya muna fada cikin rafi na amphetamines na dabi'a da ke gudana ta hanyar cibiyoyin tunani na kwakwalwarmu. Wannan shine dalilin da ya sa muke jin farin ciki, manic, mai karfi, m, ba zato ba tsammani girma idan muna matasa, kuma ba zato ba tsammani ya sake farfadowa idan mun tsufa. Ƙaunar soyayya tana cikin jijiyar mu, mun zama abin da ya fi girma. Amphetamine rigakafi ko gajiye, da kuma delirium na free faɗuwar mu mun sauko zuwa Duniya.

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Waɗannan alamomin farkon tafiya ne mai zurfi. Yayin da muka ci gaba, za mu bincika matakai daban-daban na soyayya.

Takaici Akan Matakan Fadawa Cikin Soyayya

Shiga cikin tafiya cikin ƙauna yana kama da tashi cikin wani yanayi mai ban sha'awa, inda muka haɗu da jerin matakai daban-daban waɗanda ke tsara yanayin haɗin gwiwarmu mafi zurfi. Kowane mataki yana buɗewa da nasa tsarin motsin zuciyarsa, ƙalubale, da bayyananniyar wahayi, yana jagorantar mu ta cikin rikitacciyar wasan soyayya. A cikin wannan cikakken bayani, za mu kewaya matakai daban-daban na soyayya wanda ya taƙaita ma'anar soyayya, yana ba da hangen nesa cikin zurfin tafiya mai canzawa na zuciya.

1. Ta yaya soyayya take farawa? Tare da jan hankali

Wannan shine farkon matakai masu yawa na soyayya. Farkon tartsatsin da ke kunna wutar soyayya, jan hankali shine ƙarfin maganadisu da ke haɗa mutane biyu tare. Wannan matakin farko na soyayya yana da alaƙa da jan hankali wanda ba za a iya bayyana shi ba, galibi saboda kamanninsu na zahiri, amma tare da sanin wani abu na musamman wanda ya wuce nau'ikan hormones daban-daban a wasa. A cikin wannan binciken, masu bincike “sun auna yadda wani sashe na kwakwalwa ke da alhakin saka wanda muke ƙauna a cikin wannan soyayya ta farko.”

2. Soyayya

Ƙaunar sha'awa tana nuna mataki na gaba inda motsin rai ke ƙaruwa da zafin zafin rai, kuma sabon abokin tarayya ya zama tushen tunani da sha'awar. Lokaci ne na tsananin sha'awa, inda duniya ke da alama ta yi haske da kuma zazzagewa a gaban masoyi, kuma matakan sha'awa suna haɓaka sama da matakin da ya gabata. Wannan shi ne, za a iya cewa, mafi ɗaukaka daga cikin matakan soyayya.

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3. Ganowa

Yayin da sabuwar dangantaka ke zurfafa, mataki na uku – matakin ganowa – ya bayyana, yana bayyana nau’ukan halayen juna, dabi’u, da burin juna. Wannan lokacin yana da alamar sha'awa da fahimtar juna. Abokan hulɗa suna jin tausayin juna kamar yadda suke su san juna. Kuma gogewar kasancewa cikin soyayya tana jujjuyawa, daga jin daɗi zuwa jin daɗin ƙasa.

4. Zumunci yana farawa ne a farkon matakan son wani

Kusanci wani tsari ne na hankali da kusanci na jiki, yana haɓaka alaƙa mai zurfi da aminci tsakanin abokan tarayya. Fiye da kawai tasirin testosterone da haɓakar jima'i, ya haɗa da rashin ƙarfi, sadarwa mai buɗewa, da raba tunani da ji na ciki - abubuwan tatsuniyoyi. A nan ne ji na soyayya ya ɗauki ma'anar mabambanta.

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5. Gina amana shine mataki na gaba na kasancewa cikin soyayya

Amincewa ita ce ginshiƙin kowace dangantaka mai kyau. Daga cikin matakai daban-daban na soyayya, wannan yana da mahimmanci musamman saboda ya ƙunshi kewaya ƙalubale tare, gina tushen dogaro da aminci. amince da dangantaka, da kuma tabbatar da imanin juna. Ƙauna a cikin dangantaka tana nufin kaɗan ba tare da amincewa ba kuma mutane da yawa suna yin watsi da wannan muhimmin al'amari.

6. Fahimtar bambance-bambance

Babu wata dangantaka ba tare da bambance-bambance ba, kuma wannan mataki na gaba ya ƙunshi yarda da kuma rungumar keɓancewar kowane abokin tarayya. Yana game da kewaya rikice-rikice tare da tausayawa da haɓaka haɓaka ta hanyar sasantawa. Wannan kuma shine matakin da ma'aurata ke fuskanta bayan lokacin hutun amarci. Ana buƙatar ciyar da lokaci tare a wannan lokacin don ciyar da dangantaka.

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7. Yin soyayya, tabbas

Wannan matakin soyayya shine madaidaicin inda motsin zuciyarmu ke canzawa daga sha'awa zuwa ƙauna mai zurfi, mai dorewa. Yana da alaƙa da alaƙa mai zurfi, jin tsaro, da sadaukar da kai ga kyautata dangantakar. Anan shine masoya kuma sun zama abokai na kwarai kuma, a wannan lokacin, yaƙi da jin daɗin soyayya, aikin wawa ne. Wannan kuma shine inda duk shakku da dimuwa suka ɓace. Ba ku ƙara tambaya, "Ina soyayya?" Kun san amsar da tabbas.

8. Alkawari

Ƙaddamarwa yana ƙarfafa haɗin gwiwa, yana nuna yanke shawara mai hankali don saka hannun jari a cikin dangantaka na dogon lokaci. Ƙauna a cikin dangantaka ta ƙunshi fuskantar ƙalubale tare, tallafawa mafarkan juna, da magance guguwar da ke tasowa. Ba kamar matakan farko ba, wannan yana ɗaya daga cikin matakan soyayya wanda ke buƙatar ƙoƙari don kewaya da kuma tabbatar da cewa duka abokan haɗin gwiwa suna kan shafi ɗaya.

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9. Aminci mai ni'ima

A cikin wannan matakin na soyayya, ma'aurata suna samun kwanciyar hankali mai daɗi, inda suke tafiyar da rayuwa a matsayin haɗin kai. Wannan shi ne lokacin da kasancewa cikin ƙauna yana da alamar manufa ɗaya, mutunta juna, haɗin kai na haɗin gwiwa, da zurfin godiya ga haɗin gwiwa. Lokacin da mutane suka fada cikin soyayya na gaske, tabbas wannan matakin zai zo.

10. Soyayya ta har abada a cikin dangantaka ita ce mataki na ƙarshe, daidai

Mataki na ƙarshe a cikin matakan soyayya yana tattare da tafiya ta rayuwa tare. Ƙauna ta har abada tana da alaƙa ta jurewa abota, goyon baya mara kaushi, da haɗin kai da ke gwada lokaci. Abokan hulɗa suna jin haɗin kai a kan matakin zurfi fiye da baya yayin da suke gina makoma tare.

Daya Reddit mai amfani Yana da wannan ya faɗi game da kwarewarsa game da matakan soyayya daban-daban: "Alamomin sun bambanta ga kowane saurayi. Amma lokacin da nake soyayya, babu wani abu da ke zuwa gabanta, kuma babu wani sai ita. Ita ce kawai abin da nake so, kuma duk abin da nake buƙata. Ina jin cewa a cikin jikina kamar dumi. Wannan ba tare da la'akari da lokacin ba: ko a lokacin jima'i, kallon fim, cin abinci, barci, ko ma kawai in koma aiki na karya. Don ƙare. Ina so in zauna a can ina jin / amsa wannan ƙauna.

Yayin da muke bayyana matakan soyayya, wata tambaya ta dade - ta yaya mutane suke fada cikin soyayya, kuma akwai bayanin kimiyya game da lokutan da ke tafiyar da al'amuran zuciya? Mu zurfafa cikin fagen binciken kimiyya domin mu fahimci lokacin matakan soyayya.

Har yaushe ake Soyayya a kimiyance?

Yaya soyayya take ji? Za a iya taimakawa soyayya? Yaya tsawon lokacin da ake ɗauka don haɓaka ji ga wani? Menene matsakaicin lokacin soyayya? Binciken kimiyya na tsari da tsarin lokaci don soyayya yana da rikitarwa kamar yadda motsin zuciyar kansa ya rinjayi, abubuwan da yawa suka rinjayi daga bambance-bambancen mutum zuwa yanayi na waje. Masu bincike da masu ilimin halayyar dan adam sun nemi warwarewa tsarin soyayya, Ƙoƙarin ƙididdige tsawon lokacin da ake ɗauka don daidaikun mutane don ƙetare matakan jan hankali, haɗin kai, da haɗin gwiwa mai zurfi.

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Koyaya, yana da mahimmanci a gane cewa jin soyayya, kasancewarsa na zahiri da gogewa, baya bin ƙayyadaddun jadawali. Yaya tsawon lokacin da za a ɗauka don yin soyayya zai dogara ne akan:

• Canjin mutum-mutumi: Nazarin kimiyya sun jaddada cewa saurin da mutane ke yin soyayya ya bambanta sosai. Abubuwa kamar mutumci, abubuwan da suka faru a baya, matakan jan hankali, da salon haɗe-haɗe suna ba da gudummawa ga keɓantaccen lokacin tafiyar kowane mutum cikin ƙauna. Yayin da mutum ɗaya zai iya shafe watanni yana kokawa tare da tambayar, "Shin ina soyayya?", wani na iya rungumar yadda suke ji da sauri ko ma yarda da manufar soyayya a farkon gani.
• Tasirin al'adu da zamantakewa: Al'adu daban-daban na iya samun sa rai dabam-dabam game da sauri da ci gaban soyayya a cikin alaƙar soyayya. A giciye-al'adu binciken ya nuna cewa matasan Amurka sun fi son soyayya, sai kuma mahalarta Turkiyya. Mahalarta Indiya sun sami mafi ƙarancin makin soyayya
• Canje-canjen sinadarai a cikin kwakwalwa: Neurotransmitters da hormones, irin su oxytocin da dopamine, suna da tasiri a cikin kwarewar soyayya. Wadannan sauye-sauyen sinadarai suna faruwa ne a farashi daban-daban ga mutane daban-daban, suna ba da gudummawa ga lokuta daban-daban da aka lura a cikin binciken kimiyya na jin daɗin soyayya.
• Salon abin da aka makala: Salon haɗe-haɗe na tunani, kamar damuwa, gujewa, ko amintacce, suna tasiri yadda mutane ke tunkarar juna da gudanar da dangantakar soyayya. Waɗannan salon za su iya yin tasiri cikin saurin da wani ya zama mai sha'awar zuciya ko kuma ya sami soyayya. Mutanen da suke jin rashin tsaro da yawa suna da dangantaka mai rikitarwa da soyayya
• Kwarewa da rauni: Abubuwan da suka faru a baya, rauni, da lafiyar kwakwalwa na iya tasiri sosai kan saurin da mutane ke buɗe kansu ga soyayya. Warkar da raunukan da suka gabata na iya hanzarta ko jinkirta tsarin soyayya. Daya binciken ya gano cewa mutanen da "wadanda suka fi fama da rauni sun kasance mafi ƙarancin bayyana ra'ayoyin soyayya."

A cewar ilimin halayyar dan adam soyayya, mata sukan fi saurin soyayya fiye da maza. Duk da haka, masu bincike An sami akasin haka: "Akwai imani da aka fi sani da cewa mata sun fi son soyayya kuma sun fi saurin soyayya fiye da maza. Martani daga daliban jami'a 172 sun nuna cewa duk da cewa maza da mata sun yi imanin cewa mata za su fada cikin soyayya kuma su ce "Ina son ku" da farko a cikin dangantaka, maza sun ruwaito cewa sun fara soyayya a baya kuma suna bayyana shi a baya fiye da yadda mata suka ruwaito.

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"Bincike ya kuma nuna babu bambance-bambancen jima'i a cikin martani ga abubuwa game da soyayya da soyayya. Wadannan sakamakon sun nuna cewa mata ba za su kasance mafi girma "wauta don soyayya" da al'umma ke ɗauka ba kuma sun yi daidai da ra'ayin cewa ra'ayi mai mahimmanci da hankali game da soyayya yana da mahimmanci ga mata.

A }arshe, binciken kimiyance na jadawalin lokacin soyayya yana nuna sarkakkiya da abin da ke tattare da shi. Ƙauna ƙwarewa ce mai tasowa, tana ƙin ƙaƙƙarfan jadawali mai tsauri - Zai ɗauki lokaci mai yawa kamar yadda yake buƙata. Ruwan tabarau na kimiyya yana ba da fahimi masu mahimmanci a cikin yankuna na zuciya da ba a san su ba, duk da haka ainihin ma'anar soyayya ta kasance tafiya ce mai zurfi ta sirri da kyakkyawa.

Ta hanyar ruwan tabarau na kimiyya da zane na abubuwan sirri, mun gano cewa tafiya ta zuciya duka ce ta duniya da kuma daidaikun mutane. A cikin raye-rayen ban sha'awa, sha'awa, da sadaukarwa, mun gano kyawun ba wai kawai a wurin da aka nufa ba amma a kowane mataki na kan hanya. A cikin bikin hadaddun abubuwa, asirai da al'ajabin soyayya, mun rungumi gaskiya maras lokaci cewa a cikin al'amuran zuciya, tafiya tana da zurfi kamar makoma.

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Gudunmawar ku ba ta zama sadaka ba kyauta. Zai ba da damar Bonobology ta ci gaba da kawo muku sabbin bayanai da sabbin abubuwa a cikin ƙoƙarinmu na taimaka wa kowa a duniya don koyon yadda ake yin komai.