He whainga aroha te marena tuarua e kawe mai ana i tētahi tohutoro tauhou, ā, i ētahi wā he whakamataku, nā te mea ehara tēnei i tō rodeo tuatahi. He mea maori te whakaaro 'kia pēhea te tawhiti e haere ai i tēnei wā?'. Ka kaha ake te kitea o tēnei kare ā-roto ina kua hipa koe i tētahi tau. Mena kei te raru koe i ngā kare ā-roto rerekē mō te marena tuarua i muri i te 40 tau, anei ngā mea katoa me mōhio koe mō ngā mea hei tumanako atu me pēhea te pupuri i tēnei wāhanga o te marena kia roa.
He aha ngā tūponotanga ka moe tāne koe i muri i te 40 tau? Ka taea e koe te whakahoki i te marena kia angitu anō? Me pēhea te whakatau i te wehi kei pakaru, kei mura anō? He mea noa, he mea noa hoki ēnei pātai me ngā āwangawanga katoa. Nō reira, kaua e manukanuka ki te mataku me te harikoa e pā ana ki a koe i mua i tēnei haerenga e haere atu nei koe.
He aha te mea hei tumanako atu māu i te marena tuarua i muri i te 40 tau?
Ripanga o Ihirangi
Ina takahia te marena e te tokorua, me te tumanako kia noho tahi tonu rāua ake ake. Heoi, he maha ngā wā, kāore ngā mea e haere pērā i te mea i tumanakohia, ka meinga koe kia hinga. ara ki te whakarere. Tērā pea kua mate tō hoa rangatira i ngā āhuatanga kino pēnei i te mate, i te aituā rānei. Ahakoa pēhea, he mea whakamataku te whakaora i te mate me te whakarite i a koe ki te whakapuaki i tō oranga ki tētahi atu.
Tuatahi, tera pea ka kitea e koe te manukanuka mō te tūponotanga o te marena anō i muri i te 40 tau. Heoi anō, he mea maori noa iho te hiahia kia roa te wā o tō haerenga marena tuarua. Ko te tikanga o tēnei ko te kimi i tētahi hoa rangatira e taea ai e koe te kite i a koe anō mō te wā roa, ā, e hiahia ana hoki ki te hanga hononga pumau ki a koe. I te mea ka iti haere ngā kōwhiringa ki te hono atu ki ngā tāngata whakaaro rite i muri i tētahi tau, tera pea ka kitea e koe te whakaaro mō ngā tūponotanga o te marena i muri i te 40 tau.
Kātahi ka tae mai te tumanako, te whakama, te whakahawea, te whakarihariha ki a ia anō mō te korenga e 'whakatika i te marena tuatahi' me te hiahia nui ki te whakaatu i te 'kanohi harikoa' ka taea te whakararu i te tangata e hiahia ana ki te marena anō. Mā te mōhio ki ngā mea hei tumanako atu i tō marena tuarua i muri i te 40 tau ka māmā ake te whakawhiti.
Te marena tuarua i muri i te 40 tau - He pēhea te noa o ēnei?
Kei te tere heke te angitu o ngā marena puta noa i te ao. I te US, e 50% o ngā marena ka mutu ki te wehenga tuturu, ki te whakarere rānei. I Īnia, he tino iti tēnei tau. Tekau mā toru noa iho i roto i te 1,000 marena. mutu i te whakarere, ko te tikanga kei te tata ki te 1% te reiti.
Ahakoa te kore harikoa me te kore e makona o ngā tāne me ngā wāhine e whiriwhiri ana kia kaua e marena, ehara i te mea ka ngaro tō rātou whakapono ki te whare. E hia ngā wā ka marena ngā tāne kua whakarerea i roto i ō rātou tau 40? Tata ki te 80% o te tangata e hiahia ana ki tēnei te marena anō i muri i te wehenga te ngaronga rānei o tētahi hoa rangatira. Ko te nuinga o rātou kua hipa i te 40 tau te pakeke. Nō reira, he tino teitei te auau o ngā tāne kua whakarerea e uru ana ki tētahi marena tuarua i muri i te 40 tau.
Mena kei te whakaaro koe mō te marena tuarua i muri i te 40 tau – te nui o te auau o ēnei mea, kua mōhio koe inaianei ko te nuinga o te tangata kāore e mataku ki te whakamātau anō i te marena. Nā tēnei ka tae mai tātou ki tā tātou pātai e whai ake nei – He angitu ake ngā marena tuarua? He aha te ōrau angitu pea o ngā marena tuarua?
Te pānui e pā ana: Kua pōrearea te hinengaro o tō tāne? 12 ngā tohu o te korenga o te marena
He angitu ake nga marena tuarua?
I te mea kua pāngia e te uaua o te tokorua, o tētahi rānei o ngā hoa rangatira, ka whakaaro pea he pai ake te tūponotanga o te marena tuarua. I runga i ō wheako i te wā tuatahi, kua ako koe i ō hapa, ā, kua puta ake i tēnā, kua pakeke ake, kua whai whakaaro nui ake. Koia te take he tokomaha te hunga e hiahia ana ki te mōhio: he harikoa ake te marena tuarua i te marena tuatahi?
E tohu ana ngā tatauranga i te ritenga kē. te whakarere i te marena tuarua Ko te reiti e tata ana ki te 65%. Ko te tikanga, e rua o ia marena e toru hēkona kāore e angitu. Ka nui ake pea te tūponotanga o te marena tuarua i muri i te 40 tau ki tēnei mate. Ahakoa he nui ake tō whakaaro nui, tō marino, me tō pakeke i tēnei wā o te ao, kua tino pakari ake hoki ō huarahi. Tērā pea ka ngoikore ake tō marena tuarua i muri i te 40 tau, heoi, he maha ngā tāngata e mahi ana ki a rātou anō, ā, ka waiho ā rātou marena tuarua hei oranga harikoa. Nā tēnei ka uaua ake te urutau ki tētahi hoa hou.
Ko ētahi o ngā take e kore ai e angitu te marena tuarua ko:
- Tueke mai i te tuatahi whanaungatanga kore angitu
- He rerekē ngā tirohanga mō te moni, te taatai, me te whānau
- Te kore taurite o ngā tamariki mai i ngā marena tuatahi
- Te whai wāhi atu o ngā hoa o mua ki te ao
- Te peke i mua i te tino ora ake i te hinganga o te marena tuatahi i rahua.
Te pānui e pā ana: 10 Ngā Tohu kei roto koe i tētahi Marena Kore Aroha
Me pēhea te whakatū i te marena tuarua i muri i te 40 tau mahi
Kaua e tukua ēnei tatauranga kia aukati i a koe ki te marena tuarua i muri i te 40 tau mēnā koinā te mea e tino hiahiatia ana e koe. Ka taea te kimi i tō harikoa-ā-muri ake tonu atu mā te marena tuarua. Pērā i Sonia Sood Mehta, kua harikoa nei ki te marena mō te wā tuarua, e kī ana, "Kua rua māua marena, ā, ko ia taku hoa rangatira. Tekau mā whitu tau māua e marena ana, ā, tekau mā iwa tau e mōhio ana ahau ki a ia."
"I mua māua kua moe tāne. He tino kino taku marena tuatahi. Tokorua āku tamariki i taku marena tuatahi, ā, kāore tēnā e whakarerekē i tetahi mea. He whānau harikoa māua, tokowhā. He tino piripono tō māua hononga, kāore e taea e tetahi te kī he hītori tō māua. He atawhai te Atua. Ahakoa he aha te marena. Me kimi e koe he hoa rangatira e aroha ana ki a koe, e whakaute ana hoki i a koe."
Nō reira, ki te mea kei te whakaaro koe mehemea ka taea te marena i muri i te 40 tau, ā, ka angitu, kei a koe te whakautu. Kaua tō whakatau ki te marena anō e waiho hei kōrero pōuriuri i roto i te ngahere pōuri mena he mārama, he pono hoki koe mō ngā take e whakaaro ana koe ki te marena tuarua i muri i te 40 tau. Ko te tīmatanga pai ko te noho mahara ki te auau whakarere o te marena tuarua me te take e kore ai e angitu ngā marena tuarua.
Ka āwhina i a koe kia tū pakari, kia hihiri hoki koe ki te whakapau kaha ki roto i tō whanaungatanga. He tino āwhina tēnā i a koe me tō hoa hou. Anei ētahi tohutohu hei whakatutuki i tō marena tuarua i muri i te 40 tau:
1. Kaua e whakataurite i tō hoa o nāianei ki tō hoa o mua
Ahakoa he mea maori te hiahia ki te whakamahi i tō hoa whakamutunga hei paearu hei aromatawai i te āhua o tō hoa hou, tōna tūnga moni, tōna waiaro, tōna whanonga i runga i te moenga, tōna porowhita pāpori, tōna pono whānui, tōna momo kōrero, me ērā atu mea, kia kaha ki te whakakore i tēnei āhuatanga. Kaua rawa e whakahuatia ēnei mea i roto i ngā kōrerorero me tō hoa.
Ki te whakamahia tēnei āhua hei whai mana ki runga i tō hoa, tera pea ka hua ake he kino tuturu ki a koe hononga houKāore he hoa rangatira kāore he amuamu, nō reira, tera pea kei a tō hoa rangatira o nāianei ētahi āhuatanga e whakamahara ana i a koe ki tō hoa o mua, kāore rānei.
Heoi, mā te whakataurite tonu ka taea e tō hoa o nāianei te whakaaro kāore i te rawaka, ā, ka tino mamae. He mea nui tēnei mēnā kāore anō tō hoa kia mārena i mua. Kāore koe e hiahia kia waiho te kare ā-roto katoa 'ko taku mārenatanga tuatahi ko tana mārenatanga tuarua' hei wāhi mamae i roto i te whanaungatanga.
2. Arotakehia ō mahi
Ki te kore tō marena tuatahi i angitu, me whakaaroaro koe. Pātai atu ki a koe anō, 'he aha taku i mahi ai hei āwhina i te korenga o tēnei whanaungatanga', 'he aha rānei taku i taea ai te mahi rerekē'. Tērā pea ka mōhio koe ki ētahi mea mōu kāore anō kia mōhiotia e koe. Ā, mā tēnā koe e āwhina kia kore ai e hoki anō ki ngā hapa kotahi, kia taea ai hoki e koe te mahi i ngā mea hou mōu ake. Ko te pakeke whai kawenga he tangata e mōhio ana ki te whakaae ki ngā hua o ā rātou mahi, me te whakamahi i ēnei akoranga o te ao hei hanga i tētahi oranga pai ake.
Ko tāu mahi matatika he tiaki i ōu hiahia, me te ako tonu kia tuwhera, kia ngāwari hoki ki tō hoa o nāianei. Ki te hiahia koe kia uru tōu ake ki roto i ngā kōrero angitu mō te marena tuarua, ko te mea nui ko te whakamahi i te korenga o tō marena hei wahie e whakaoho ana i te harikoa i roto i tō tuku. Kei a koe te whai wāhi ki te 'whakahoki'. Me mahi tika.
Shirpa Tom, he kaipakihi, e kī ana, "Ko te tūponotanga o te marena i muri i te 40 tau ka whakawhirinaki ki te āhua o te tangata, me te tūtaki hoki ki te tangata tika e pai ana ki a ia. Ko te mea nui ko te marena tuarua i muri i te 40 tau. Hei whakatutuki i tēnā, he mea nui kia whakatikahia ngā mea i hē i te marena tuatahi."
Te pānui e pā ana: 20 nga huarahi e aroha ai to tane ki a koe
3. Kia pono, kaua e whakamā ki ō kupu
He tokomaha te hunga e whakahīhī ana ki te pono i ngā wā katoa. I roto i te kirimana, ka mutu ka kore e aro ki ā rātou kupu me ā rātou mahi, ka kino rawa atu ki ngā kare ā-roto o tō rātou hoa me tō rātou whanaungatanga. He mea nui kia kōrerotia te pono ki tō hoa, engari ka taea e te pono nanakia te whiu kino i roto i ngā whanaungatanga. He hoari mata rua te pono, me whakataurite ki te atawhai me te aroha.
Janet Serrao Agarwal, he kaikaute whaimana, e kī ana, "Ina tae ki te tūponotanga o te mārenatanga anō i muri i te 40 tau, me te whai huatanga o taua whanaungatanga, ko te kaha o te kare ā-roto i waenganui i ngā hoa e rua te mea tino nui, nā te mea i te mārenatanga tuatahi ka ngaro te whakawhirinaki, ā, ka puta te kawa."
"He nui ngā taumahatanga, ā-hinengaro, ā-kanohi hoki. Hei tauira, te whakaae ki ngā tamariki a tō hoa rangatira, te whakatere i ngā taura o tētahi whānau whakaranu, me te ako anō hoki ki te whakahaere i ngā mea e whakaoho ana i te whanaungatanga pērā i ngā take whakawhirinaki, i te kore whakawhirinaki rānei."
"Haunga tēnā, i tēnei wā, he motuhake ngā hoa e rua, nō reira, ko te hiahia anake kia whakaaetia, kia whakautehia ō rāua oranga takitahi. Nō reira, ko te pono me te tūturutanga ko te whakaae hoki kāore he kōrero aroha e pāngia ai koe e ngā pūrerehua i roto i tō puku, e pāngia ai rānei tō ngākau e te pao. He nui ake te tūponotanga ka arotahi te whanaungatanga ki te hoa pono."
4. Ehara i tō ara, ehara hoki i te huarahi nui
Whakarērea te huarahi 'māku ake huarahi, te huarahi nui rānei'. Ae, kua taunga pea koe ki te mahi i ngā mea i tētahi ara, te noho i tō oranga i tētahi ara i mua i te wā ka marena tuarua koe i muri i te 40 tau. Engari he ara kino tēnei tirohanga.
Te hanga i te marena kaha, ko te hokinga tuarua he rite ki te reti reti i runga i te hukapapa angiangi. He pakarukaru ngā kare ā-roto, ā, kei te koi tonu ngā motu me ngā maru o mua. Nō reira, ngana kia pai ake te noho tahi i roto i te whanaungatanga, kia pai ai te noho o tō hoa rangatira i roto i tō oranga me tō kāinga. Ahakoa he iti noa te whakarerekētanga i konei, i reira.
5. Whakanuia ngā rerekētanga
He maha ngā mea kāore kōrua ko tō hoa e whakaae. He pērā anō ngā tāne me ngā wāhine katoa. Kaua e tukua ēnei whakahē iti, ngā tautohetohe noa rānei kia waiho hei take mō ngā mamae o mua. Kaua hoki e tukua tō tuakiri ki te aata o tō hoa rangatira. marena tuarua i muri i te 40 tau, nā te mea kei te pirangi tonu koe ki te whai hua i tēnei wā. Ka waiho noa iho koe i te pouri me te kawa.
Engari, me hanga he whakawhitiwhiti kōrero pakari hei whakaae, hei awhi, hei whakanui hoki i ō kōrua rerekētanga. Ahakoa ko te marena tuarua, ko te marena tuatahi rānei i muri i te 40 tau – ko te marena tuatahi rānei mō tētahi hoa, tuarua rānei mō tētahi atu – ko te kī ki te angitu ko te waihanga i te nui o te wāhi i roto i te whanaungatanga kia tupu ai ngā hoa e rua, kia noho ko rātou tonu te tangata tūturu.
Heoi anō, ko te marena he mahi tahi, he atawhai me te haerenga tahi o te ahunga whakamua – hei takitahi, hei tokorua hoki. Kaua e manukanuka ki te auau whakarere o te marena tuarua me ngā kōrero angitu o te marena tuarua. Kaua e moe nui i runga i ngā pātai pēnei i te, 'Ka taea e au te marena tuarua i muri i te 40?', 'Kei te he angitu ake ngā marena tuarua?', 'He aha i rahua ai ngā mārenatanga tuarua?' me ērā atu. Whakamahia te kaha katoa, ā, tukua kia haere ngā mea i tōna ara tūturu.
5 Ngā Hapa Nui i Mahia e ōku Mātua i roto i tā rāua Marenatanga e 50 Tau te Pakeke
I pā kino taku marena, engari i raru tonu ahau i te matenga o taku tāne
Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.
