10 Ngā Tohu kei roto koe i tētahi Marena Kore Aroha, me Ngā Mea Ka Taea e Koe te Mahi Mōna

Ka mea ia tokorua "Ae" me te tumanako me te tumanako ka ārahi te aroha i hono ai rāua i a rāua i roto i te haerenga o te ao. Tērā pea he mea whakakatakata te whakaaro o te marena kore aroha i taua wā. "Āe, e kore rawa tāua e noho hei hoa o aua tokorua." Ka mea atu koe ki a koe anō, ka whakamarie tetahi i tetahi. Engari kātahi ka puta te ao, ā, tērā pea ka kitea e koe kāore e taea e kōrua ko tō hoa rangatira te mutu te tautohetohe mō ngā mea iti rawa, kua wehe kē rānei kōrua, ā, kāore i te tino mōhio, i te mārama rānei tetahi ki tetahi.

Kāore e taea e koe te mahara ki te wā whakamutunga i kī ai kōrua "Aroha ana ahau ki a koe" ki tētahi, i pupuri ringa ai, i kitea rānei he whakamarie i roto i te noho tahi. Ā, ko te kare o te mauhere i roto i te marena kore aroha, tera pea ka kaha rawa atu, kāore e taea te whakarērea, te wareware rānei. Tērā pea ka kitea e koe anō te pātai mēnā kua ngaro te aroha i roto i tō marena, mēnā rānei he wā uaua noa iho kei te pā ki a kōrua.

I te mea ka tipu haere, ka whanake haere ngā āhuatanga o te tokorua i roto i ngā tau, me pēhea koe e mōhio ai mēnā he kore aroha kei te raru koe, he aroha rānei kua huri noa i tōna āhua? Mēnā rānei he tikanga whakawhiti noa iho te ngākau aroha me te ngākau aroha e pā ana ki ngā tokorua kua marenatia katoa. Nā, me pēhea koe e mōhio ai mēnā kei roto koe i te marena kore aroha? Ka taea te noho i roto i te marena kore aroha mō te wa katoa o tō oranga? He rongoā hei huri i tētahi whanaungatanga makariri, kore ngākau aroha? Ka taea e ngā pātai te ahua mutunga kore, me te whakapoauau.

Hei whakamarie i tō hinengaro, ka tūhuratia e mātou ngā tohu o te marena kore aroha me ngā huarahi hei whakatau i taua raruraru mā te kōrero tahi me te tohunga hinengaro. Pragati Sureka (MA i roto i te Hinengaro Hauora, ngā whiwhinga ngaio mai i te Kura Hauora o Harvard), he tohunga ki te aro atu ki ngā take pēnei i te whakahaere riri, ngā take mātua, te marena tukino me te kore aroha mā roto i ngā rauemi pūkenga kare ā-roto.

He aha te Marenatanga Kore Aroha?

Kia tahuri tātou ki te pātai tino tika mō te kaupapa e pā ana ki tēnei take – he aha te marena kore aroha? Pragati Ko te whakamāramatanga o te marena kore aroha koia tēnei, "He makariri, he kore wairua i roto i tō whanaungatanga ina memeha haere te aroha, ā, kāore koe e mōhio me pēhea kōrua i tae mai ai i konei mai i tētahi marena aroha, harikoa. E whakaaro ana ia tokorua i te wā e marena ana, ka rite ki tētahi moenga rōhi."

"E tumanako ana rātou kia pai te haere o te whanaungatanga, kia koroheke hoki pērā i te waina pai. Engari mō te nuinga o te tangata, ko te mooni o te marena he mea tino tawhiti atu i tēnei moemoeā utopia. Kia memeha haere te wā honi, ka tere te taumaha o ngā kawenga o te marena ki te aroha i hono ai te tokorua, ā, ko te noho tahi ka rite ki tētahi wero tonu, kaua ki tētahi puna o te haumaru me te makona."

Ina tirohia pai te hunga e noho ana i roto i te marena kore aroha, ka kite koe he nui ake ngā āhuatanga o tēnei āhuatanga i te kore noa iho o te aroha. He huinga o ngā mea iti e taka ana ki te taha o te ara e tīmata ana ki te whakarerekē i te āhua o ngā kare ā-roto o ngā hoa tokorua ki a rātou anō. Hei tauira, ina kore ngā kare ā-roto e taurite ana ki te huarahi e tika ana, ka tīmata pea tētahi hoa ki te te noho mokemoke i roto i te marena.

Ka taea e tēnei kare ā-roto o te mokemoke te arahi ki te mauahara, ā, ki te kore e whakatauhia, ka taea e te mauahara te whakangaro i ngā kare ā-roto o te aroha me te aroha, ka wehea te tokorua, ā, ka whakakapia ngā kare ā-roto mahana, pōuriuri i waenganui i a rāua ki te kawa, te riri, me te mamae. Mena kua kite koe kei te tawhiti tō hoa rangatira, kei te karo i te whanaungatanga ā-tinana, kei te iti haere rānei te wā e noho tahi ana me koe, kei te heke haere rānei te whanaungatanga ā-hinengaro i waenganui i a kōrua, tera pea kei te pāngia tō marena e tētahi, e maha rānei ngā take me aro atu tonu.

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He aha te take ka kore ai he aroha i roto i te marena?

Hei whakatika i ngā take e pā ana ki a koe, me mārama tuatahi koe ki te pūtake. Tērā pea ko te kore aroha i ahu mai i ngā take kāore anō kia whakatauhia i ngā tau maha, ā, kua hua ake te mauahara i ngā taha e rua. Tērā pea ko tō huarahi ki te te taupatupatu tautohe kāore i te tino pai, ā, nō reira, ahakoa ngā tautohe me ngā rerekētanga iti rawa, kāore i tino whakatauhia.

Tērā pea nā te rerekētanga o ngā whāinga o te ao, te kore whakawhitiwhiti kōrero pai, te noho noa rānei i roto i te whanaungatanga i wehe kē ai kōrua. E kite ana koe, he maha ngā take mō te marena kore aroha, ko ētahi he mea motuhake ki te whanaungatanga o te tokorua, ko ētahi he whānui ake. Ahakoa kāore e taea te tohu i te tino take i kore ai tō marena e aroha mena kāore koe e whakaaroaro, e mahi tahi rānei me tētahi kaiwhakaora whānau, me tētahi kaitohutohu mō te tokorua, mā tēnei whakarāpopototanga mō ngā tino take e wehe kē ai ngā tokorua ka taea e koe te mārama ki te wāhi e takoto ai te raruraru:

• Kāore e whakatairanga tetahi i tetahi: I a kōrua e whakahāngai ana i ngā kawenga mahi me ngā kawenga whaiaro, kua waiho pea tō kōrua whanaungatanga hei nohoanga muri. Ki te kore kōrua e whai wā tetahi ki tetahi, ki te wareware rānei ki te maioha tetahi ki tetahi, tera pea ka kitea kōrua e mauheretia ana i roto i te marena kore aroha.
• Te rerekētanga o te kōwhiringa me te whakaaro: He mea maori noa iho te kore whakaae a te tokorua ki ētahi mea, ā, he rerekē hoki ō rāua hiahia, moemoeā, me ō rāua āhua. Mēnā kāore kōrua ko tō hoa i kaha ki te whakaae me te awhi i ēnei rerekētanga, tērā pea ka mutu e wehe ke ana i roto i te whanaungatanga
• Ngā rerekētanga kāore anō kia whakatauhia: E ai ki tā mātou i kōrero ai i mua, ka taea e ngā take kāore anō kia whakatauhia te arahi ki te mauahara i roto i te whanaungatanga, ā, ka taea hoki e tēnei te whakangaro i te aroha o te tokorua tetahi ki tetahi. Ko te rārangi roa o ngā rerekētanga me ngā take kāore anō kia whakatauhia tetahi o ngā tino take e tīmata ai te rerekētanga o ngā kare ā-roto o te tangata mō ā rātou hoa.
• Whakapono: Ko te hinganga kino pērā i te kore whakapono ka taea te whakararu i te whanaungatanga o te tokorua, ka waiho kia tū tonu. Ko te pakaru o te whakawhirinaki, te kore whakaute, te ngākau whati, me te whakamamae me te hara i muri i te whanaungatanga ka taea te mimiti i te aroha i roto i ngā here tino pai.
• Ngā taumahatanga o waho: I ētahi wā, ko ngā āhuatanga kāore e taea e koe te whakahaere pērā i te tiaki i tētahi mātua e mate ana, te whakatau i te ahotea pūtea ohorere, te ngaronga o te mahi, ngā mate hauora rānei, ka waiho pea koe kia raru i te marena kore aroha, kore ira tangata.

I a ia e whakamārama ana i te take e kore ai e aroha ngā marena, e kī ana a Pragati, "Ehara i te mea onge, i te mea miharo rānei te ngaro o ngā kare ā-roto mō te hoa rangatira, nā te mea kāore te iwi e aro ki te whakawhanake i tētahi te marena hauora me te harikoa te huarahi e whaia ai e rātou ētahi atu mea o te ao, hei tauira, ngā tūmanako pūtea, te tinana tino pai rānei. He maha ngā wā ka pau te wā me te kaha o ngā tāne me ngā wāhine ki te aro ki ngā tamariki, ki ngā mahi, ki te tipu whaiaro rānei. Tērā pea ka whai rātou ki te piki maunga, ki te noho hei Tumu Whakahaere Matua rānei i roto i ngā tau e rima e whai ake nei. I roto i tēnei tukanga, ka heke rawa ngā whāinga e pā ana ki te marena ki raro i te arawhata o ngā kaupapa matua. He onge te nuinga o te tangata ki te mahi ki te waihanga i te aroha i roto i te huarahi pūkenga, ā, i te mutunga, ka ako ngā tāne me ngā wāhine ki te noho harikoa i roto i te marena kore aroha.

10 ngā tohu o te marena kore aroha

Nā te mea kua mārama koe ki te tikanga o te marena kore aroha, me ngā take noa e kore ai e aroha te hunga i whiriwhiri ki te noho tahi, kua tae ki te wā ki te whakautu i te pātai i kawe mai i a koe ki konei – me pēhea koe e mōhio ai kei roto koe i te marena kore aroha? Me pēhea koe e tino mōhio ai ko te kore harikoa e pā ana ki a koe he rite tonu ki te noho tonu i roto i te marena kore aroha?

Ae, kei a koe te whakaaro mō tēnā. Ā, ko ngā tautohetohe me ngā raruraru katoa i waenganui i a kōrua ko tō hoa rangatira he nui hei whakaatu kua kore kōrua e tino aroha ana. Heoi anō, mā te mārama ake ki te āhua o te marena kore aroha ka mārama ake ai koe ki te tūnga o kōrua ko tō hoa rangatira, ā, ka āwhina i a kōrua ki te whakatau i te huarahi pai mō āpōpō. Hei reira, tukua mātou kia whakapuaki i ngā tirohanga ki ngā tohu 10 e tohu ana i te marena kore aroha:

1. Kāore e taea e kōrua te kōrero tetahi ki tetahi i ēnei rā

A te kore korero – arā, ko te kore e taea te kōrero tetahi ki tetahi – tētahi o ngā tohu tino kitea o te marena kore aroha. Ā, ka tīmata pea te ahua kāore e taea e kōrua te kōrero tetahi ki tetahi. I ngā wā katoa e kōrero ana kōrua, ka puta he tautohetohe, he tautohetohe, he pakanga, ā, muri iho ka noho puku kōrua, ka karohia e kōrua tetahi ki tetahi, pērā i te mate urutā.

E noho tahi ana kōrua i raro i te tuanui kotahi me te tangata i whakaaro ai kōrua ko tō hoa rangatira i mua, engari e tino mokemoke ana kōrua. Ka haere tahi kōrua ki ngā huihuinga pāpori, ka menemene ki te kāmera, ka whakaatu i te āhua harikoa i roto i te marena kore aroha. Engari i waenganui i ngā pakitara e whā, kāore āu kupu i pai!

E kī ana a Pragati, "Ko tētahi o ngā pānga tino kitea o te marena kore aroha ko te mutu o te kōrero mō ō āwangawanga ki tō hoa rangatira. Ka kōrero kōrua mō ngā take ki ō hoa me tō whānau, kaua ki te kōrero tetahi ki tetahi. Nā te mea kua ngaro, kua heke haere rānei te tautoko kare ā-roto me te whanaungatanga e hiahiatia ana mō te whanaungatanga."

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2. Kāore koe i te pai ki te noho piripono tetahi ki tetahi

Ehara i te mea ngaro he mea nui te whanaungatanga ā-tinana me te whanaungatanga ā-ira tangata ki te āwhina i te tokorua kia mau tonu te hononga. Ahakoa he mea maori noa te memeha haere o te hiahia i roto i te wā, kei te mau tonu te hiahia ki te noho piripono – ā-ira tangata, ā-pāti hoki – ki tō hoa rangatira. Nō reira, ki te mea ka ngenge tō kiri i te whakaaro ki te noho piripono ki tō hoa rangatira, he tohu mārama tēnei kua kore koe e rongo i te hononga ā-hinengaro ki a rāua.

I mua i tō kitenga i a koe e rapu puku ana i te whakautu me pēhea te ora i te wā kāore he aroha te marena kore, kia mōhio koe, ehara te kore moe tāne i te tohu mō te hauora o te whanaungatanga. E whakamārama ana a Pragati, "I ētahi wā, ko ngā take o waho pērā i ngā huringa homoni, ngā āhuatanga hauora, ētahi rongoā, te ahotea pūtea, ngā tono mātua rānei, ka taea hoki te whakaiti i te hiahia moepuku, ā, he mea noa tēnā."

"He take āwangawanga tēnei ina tīmata te raruraru ki te hōhonu atu i te kore noa o te moe tāne. Ina mutu tō hiahia ki tō hoa nā te korenga o te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero, te kore taurite o ngā kaupapa matua, ngā raruraru whanaungatanga kāore anō kia whakatauhia, koinā te wā ka noho hei take āwangawanga." Ki te kore e taea e koe te tino mōhio ko tēhea te mea e pāngia ana e koe, pātai atu ki a koe anō:

• Kāore kau he hiahia moepuku i a koe, kāore rānei koe e hiahia ana ki tō hoa?
• He whanaungatanga kore-ira kei roto i te whanaungatanga pēnei i te pupuri ringa, te awhi, te kihi?
• Kei te moemoeā koe mō ētahi atu?

3. Kei te whakahe tonu koe tetahi i tetahi

E ai ki te tohunga hinengaro rongonui o Amerika, a Tākuta John Gottman, ko te whakahē te tuatahi o ngā mea e Tokowha nga Kaieke hoiho o te Apocalypse i roto i te whanaungatanga. Ki te kore e taea e kōrua ko tō hoa rangatira te karo i te whakahē tetahi i tetahi mō ngā mea iti, ā, ko te whakahē anake te momo whakawhitiwhiti kōrero e toe ana i roto i tō kōrua marena, he tohu āwangawanga tērā pea kei te tīmatanga koe ngā wāhanga o te marena e mate ana.

He uaua ki te rongo i te aroha i roto i te whanaungatanga e whakaititia tonutia ana e tetahi hoa tetahi, e whakanuia ana ō rāua hapa, e warewarehia ana hoki ō rāua kaha. Ae, ko te arotake whai hua e aro ana ki te āwhina i ngā hoa e rua kia pai ake te āhua o rāua anō he wāhanga nui o te whanaungatanga hauora. Engari ki te kaha te arotake, ki te kino, ā, e aro ana ki te whakaiti i te tangata kē, ka taea te hanga raruraru i roto i te marena.

Ko ia tawai, ko ia whakatoi, ko ia whakahihi, ka pakaru tō whakaaro nui ki a koe anō me tō whakapono ki a koe anō, ka waiho koe kia takahi noa i runga i ngā anga hua manu i te taha o tō hoa, ā, ka mutu, ka ngoikore te hononga e honoa ana e kōrua ko ia.

4. E rapu ana koe i te tautoko kare ā-roto i waho o te marena

"Ina whakaaro koe kāore e taea e koe te kōrero ki tō hoa rangatira, te noho ko koe anō rānei i tō taha, ina kore koe e arohaina i roto i tō marena, tera pea ka kitea e koe te harikoa me te tautoko kare ā-roto e ngaro ana i waho o te marena," te kī a Pragati. Tērā pea ka tīmata koe ki te whakawhirinaki ki tētahi hoa, ki tētahi hoa mahi, ki tētahi hoa tawhito rānei hei tautoko, ā, i mua i tō mōhio, tera pea kei roto koe i tētahi hononga kare ā-roto me tēnei tangata, me te kore e mōhio.

An take aronganui ka puta ina tino pai rawa atu koe ki tētahi i waho o tō marena, ā, ka tīmata te whakapuaki i ngā kōrero whaiaro mō tō oranga ki tēnei tangata. Ko ētahi o ngā tohu kua tino tawhiti koe i tō hoa rangatira,

• He nui ake tō wā e noho tahi ana me tēnei tangata i tō hoa rangatira
• Ka tohaina e koe ngā kōrero katoa o tō oranga ki a rātou
• Ko rātou te tuatahi ka waea atu koe ina puta he mea pai, he mea kino rānei, ehara i tō hoa rangatira.
• Ka kōrero puku koe ki a rātou, ka tūtaki hoki ki a rātou
• Kāore koe i te pai ki te kōrero ki tō hoa rangatira mō tō kōrua whanaungatanga e tipu haere ana ki tēnei tangata

5. Te āhua nei kāore e tika ana kia whawhaitia tō marena

Kei te maumahara koe ki te āhua o tō noho ara roa tae noa ki te pō, e tautohetohe ana, e whawhai ana, e ngana ana ki te whakamārama i tō whakaaro ki tō hoa, me te whakatau i tētahi take i whakararuraru i a kōrua? Ahakoa te whakaaro ki te haumi ki te whakatau i ngā tautohe, he ahua tino hoha, he tino ngenge rānei ināianei? He pai ake ki a koe te tuku noa i te mahi i tēnei i te uru atu ki tētahi atu whakataetae kupu ka hua ake he karanga ingoa kino, he reo nui, me te kōrero kino tetahi ki tetahi?

Ki te mea kua mutu tāu ngana ki te whakatau i ō rerekētanga me te kimi i tētahi ara waenga, koinei tētahi o ngā tohu mārama mō te marena kore aroha e tohu ana kua mutu tāu aro ki te hauora o tō whanaungatanga. Tērā pea kei te noho tonu koe i roto i tētahi marena kore aroha mō ngā take pūtea, mō ngā tamariki rānei, mō tētahi atu āhuatanga rānei, engari kāore i a koe te hiahia, te hiahia rānei ki te hanga anō i tō hononga ki tō hoa rangatira.

6. Kāore kōrua e aro nui ana tetahi ki tetahi

He tohu kino te kore aro ki te whanaungatanga, ā, ka kore e whai kiko te whanaungatanga i roto. "Ina tīmata kōrua ko tō hoa rangatira te whakaaro noa tetahi ki tetahi "ki te kore koe e mōhio ki ngā mea e kawea mai ana e te tangata kē, ka uru te whakahawea me te mauahara ki roto i tō kōrua hononga," te kī a Pragati. Ka taea e ēnei kare ā-roto kino te whakakore wawe i te aroha i a koe mō tō hoa, ā, ka wehe i a kōrua.

Anei te āhua o te kore whakaute i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga:

• Kāore e mihi ana ki tō hoa ina mahi koe i tētahi mea māu nā te mea e whakaaro ana koe me mahi e rātou
• Te kore e mihi ki tō hoa
• Kāore koe e mōhio ki ngā mahi a tō hoa, me te whakaaro kei te mahi koe i ngā mahi katoa hei pupuri i te whanaungatanga kia ora tonu

7. Kāore koe e aro ki tō hoa rangatira

Ko tētahi atu tohu e whakaatu ana kua ngaro te aroha i roto i tō kōrua marena, ko te korenga o te manaaki me te aro i pā ki a kōrua mō tō hoa rangatira. Ka kitea pea tēnei i roto i tētahi, i ētahi rānei o ēnei huarahi:

• Kāore koe e tirotiro ana ki tō hoa, kāore hoki e aro ki te rapu i ngā āhuatanga o tōna ao
• Kāore koe e aro ki ngā hiahia o tō hoa rangatira
• Ahakoa kei te hiahia āwhina rātou, he āhua uaua te whakarerekē i tō kaupapa/mahere hei āwhina i a rātou.
• Kāore koe e manukanuka ki te waea atu/karere kuputuhi mēnā kāore koe i tae ki te kāinga i te wā tika
• Kāore koe i te mōhio ki ā rātou mahere/wātaka nā te mea kua kore ō kōrua oranga e ōrite i ēnei rā.

I te poto, kua riro koe te whaiaro i roto i te whanaungatanga. Ko te kore aro tetahi ki tetahi kei te whakawehewehe noa iho i a kōrua. He rerekē te whai wāhi whaiaro i roto i te whanaungatanga, he rerekē te noho i tō kōrua oranga me te mea he tokorua kua marenatia engari he takakau. Ki te mea

8. Ki a koe, he pai ake te āhua o te heke mai me te kore tō hoa rangatira

Ka kitea te kore harikoa i roto i tō marena kore aroha ina tīmata koe ki te whakaaro mō tētahi heke mai kāore he hoa rangatira. "Ki te tīmata koe ki te moemoeā mō tētahi oranga kāore he mahi a tō tāne/wahine, ko te tikanga kei te mauheretia koe i roto i tō whanaungatanga, ā, e hiahia ana koe ki te mawhiti," te kī a Pragati. Tērā pea kei te tirotirohia e koe ngā āhuatanga uaua o te tukanga whakarere, kei te whakaaroaro rānei koe mō te tikanga o te whakamutu i tēnei marena ki a koe.

Ki te mea rānei kei te noho tonu koe i roto i te marena kore aroha mō ngā take pūtea, kua tīmata pea koe ki te rapu huarahi hei noho motuhake i te taha pūtea kia taea ai e koe te wehe atu i tētahi rā. Ā, ka whakakīia koe e taua tumanako ki te tumanako. Waihoki, ki te mea kei roto koe i te marena kore aroha me ngā tamariki, tera pea ka kitea e koe te whakaaro ki te tikanga o te wehenga mō tō whānau. He tohu katoa ēnei kua whakarērea e koe te āheinga ki te hohou i te rongo ki tō hoa nā te mea kua kore koe e aroha ki a rātou.

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9. He mahi nui ki a koe te noho tahi me tō hoa

E mataku ana koe ki te noho tahi me tō hoa. Mēnā ka whai wāhi koe, he pai ake ki a koe te noho ko koe anake, te noho tahi rānei me tō whānau, me ō hoa rānei i tō wā waatea. Kua mutu kē tō whakarite i ngā pō whakatā, i ngā hararei rānei nā te mea e hiahia ana koe kia kaua e noho ko koe anake. Ko tētahi o ngā tohu whakamataku o te marena kore aroha ko te tīmatanga o te whakarihariha ki te noho tahi me tō hoa.

Nā te mea pea kāore kōrua e hiahia ana ki ngā mea ōrite, kāore rānei kōrua e mōhio tetahi ki tetahi, kua tino kitea rānei ō kōrua rerekētanga, ā, kāore koe e mōhio me pēhea te whakapā atu ki te tangata e kiia nei e koe ko tō hoa rangatira. Mena koinei tō āhua, me pātai koe ki a koe anō mēnā he take tō noho tonu ki tēnei āhuatanga. whanaungatanga mutunga kore.

10. Kua ngaro te ngahau me te kata i roto i tō kōrua marena

Āhea te wā whakamutunga i mahi tahi ai kōrua ko tō hoa i ētahi mea tawai i mahi rānei koe i tētahi mea wairangi, i tētahi mea wairangi rānei, ā, ka kata noa koe kia mamae tō puku? Nōnahea te wā whakamutunga i whakawhitiwhiti kōrero ai koe i tētahi o ō katakata ā-roto, ā, i katakata pērā i tētahi tokorua e whā tau te pakeke? Nōnahea te wā whakamutunga i whakangā ai koe i runga i tētahi karāhe waina? He wā pai noa iho rānei i a kōrua tahi?

Mena ko te whakautu ki ēnei pātai ko "i tētahi atu ao", kāore e kore kua pāngia tō kōrua whanaungatanga e te kino, ā, kua kore te aroha i hono ai kōrua. Ahakoa te mamae o te ngākau, kei roto tō kōrua marena i te raruraru nui, ā, ki te kore koe e mahi wawe, tera pea he uaua ki te whakakore i te kino o tō kōrua hononga.

Me pēhea te ora i roto i te marena kore aroha?

He uaua te mōhio kei roto koe i tētahi marena kore aroha. Ko te tangata i whakaaro koe ko ia te aroha o tōu ao, kua tata rite ki tētahi tangata tauhou ki a koe. Ka taea e koe te whakaaro kua tata mutu tō marena. Engari kaua e manukanuka, kāore anō kia pau ō whiringa. Ahakoa te pouri me te koretake o te wairua, kei te whakaaro tonu koe me pēhea te ora i tētahi marena kore aroha, tera pea he tumanako kei te toe māu. Ka tohaina e Pragati ēnei tohutohu hei whakaora i tō hononga me te hanga hononga:

1. Whakaarohia te pūtake o te raruraru

Kia mārama ai koe ki te whakapai ake i te hauora o tō whanaungatanga, me rapu e koe te pūtake o ō raruraru. E kī ana a Pragati, "Kia mahara he maha ngā mea ka taea e koe te mahi hei whakatika me te whakaoti i ō raruraru i runga i te taumata whaiaro. Me tuwhera koe ki te whakaaro kei a koe anō te raruraru. Ehara i te mea kei te tangata kē te he i ngā wā katoa. Rukuhia koe ki roto i a koe anō, tirohia mēnā kua nui rawa ō mahi. Ā, i te wā kotahi, kia whakarite i ō mahi tinana me ō mahi tinana." hiahia aronganui kia kite ai mēnā kua tutuki.”

2. Kimihia ngā huarahi hei hono atu anō ki tō hoa

Ki te mea kua oti i a kōrua te mahi kia mārama ai ki te pūtake o te raruraru, ā, kei te whakaaro kotahi kōrua ko tō hoa rangatira mō te tuku atu i tētahi atu whai wāhitanga ki tō kōrua marena, tīmata mā te whakarite i ngā mea matua mō tētahi ki tētahi. Kimihia he huarahi hei hono anō ki tō hoa rangatira, hei whakaara anō i te mura kua ngaro.

"Tīmata te whakaipoipo i tō hoa kotahi i te wiki. Kia mārama ki ngā āhuatanga o tō hoa." reo aroha "Ā, kia rite ki te whakapuaki i a koe anō i roto i tēnei mahi. Mā tēnei koe e āwhina ki te whakaara anō i te ngākau aroha kua ngaro tetahi ki tetahi. Me whai kōrero hauora, tuwhera, me te whakapau kaha me te pumau ki te huri i tētahi marena kore aroha, kore ira tangata. Kia whakapau kaha ki te kite i ngā hua," te kī a Pragati.

3. Haere ki te rongoā a te tokorua

E tino taunaki ana a Pragati kia toro atu koe ki tētahi kaiwhakaora hinengaro whai raihana. "Koinei te taahiraa tuatahi ki te ora i roto i tētahi marena kore aroha, nā te mea ka āwhina te whakaora hinengaro i a koe ki te tūhura i ngā take me ngā tauira matua i whai wāhi pea ki te āhua o ō kare ā-roto mō tō hoa rangatira me tō marena," tana whakamārama.

He maha ngā wā, kāore i a tātou te mōhio ki a tātou anō kia mārama ai he aha tātou ka whanonga pēnei ai i roto i ngā whanaungatanga, i ngā āhuatanga rānei e pā mai ana ki a tātou. Mā te mahi tahi me tētahi kaiwhakaora hinengaro whai raihana ka āwhina i a koe ki te whiwhi i taua māramatanga me te aro nui ake ki te whakahaere i tō whanaungatanga me tō hoa rangatira. Mena he āwhina tēnei e rapuhia ana e koe, me rapu ngā kaiārahi mohio, mātau hoki. Te rōpū tohunga o Bonobology kei konei mo koe.

4. Hoatu he wā

Kia mōhio koe ko ngā mahi uaua katoa e whakapaua ana e koe te whakaora i tō marena Kāore pea e tere te hua. Hei tīmatanga, ka puhoi pea te ahunga whakamua. Tērā pea ka ruarua koe ki te hono atu anō ki tō hoa rangatira, ā, ka taumaha pea koe i ngā taumahatanga o ngā raruraru o mua. Ahakoa kua hipa kē koe i te whakama tuatahi, tera pea ka puta he arai i te ara. Kia rite ki te tango i ēnei me te marino, kaua hoki e ngākau pouri. Mā te whakapau kaha me te manawanui nui, ka taea e kōrua te wikitoria i ngā arai katoa, ā, ka kitea te ara ki a kōrua.

5. Whakaaetia tētahi putanga hou o tō whanaungatanga

He tohu pai tēnei kei te mahi koe ki te tuku i tētahi atu whai wāhitanga ki tō marena. Tērā pea kāore te aroha i waenganui i a kōrua i ngaro katoa, engari kua hunaia e ngā paparanga maha o ngā take, ngā raruraru, me ngā māramatanga kore. Ahakoa ka kitea pea e kōrua ko tō hoa rangatira he huarahi hei hono anō i a kōrua, me rite kōrua mō te meka kāore pea tō kōrua whanaungatanga e hoki ki tōna āhua i ngā wā tōmua.

I te mea kua nui te wai kua rere i raro i tēnei piriti, tera pea ka rerekē ngā āhuatanga i tētahi ara, i tētahi ara rānei. I tika kia tipu, kia whanake hoki kōrua ko tō hoa i tēnei wā, ā, ka pā tēnei ki te tirohanga a kōrua ki ngā whanaungatanga. Ina mahi kōrua ki te whakahoki i te kororia o te marena kore aroha ki tōna ngaronga, whakaarohia ēnei āhuatanga, ā, kia whakaae ki tētahi putanga rerekē o tō kōrua whanaungatanga, mena he hauora, he ora, ā, he harikoa hoki tō kōrua.

Ehara i te mea ngāwari te noho i roto i te marena kore aroha, ahakoa ō take, ō āwangawanga rānei. Ko te huarahi e whiriwhiri ai koe ki te whakahaere i tēnei āhuatanga ka whakawhirinaki ki te āhua o ō kare ā-roto mō te whanaungatanga, me te whakaaro rānei koe he mea pea ka taea te whakatō anō i te aroha ki roto i te whanaungatanga. Nō reira, ahakoa te ara e whiriwhiria e koe, kia tupato te hikoi.

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Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.