Te Whaea, te Mahi rānei? Te Pakanga a ngā Wahine i waenga i te Mahi me te Whānau

He pakanga tonu te whaea me ngā wawata mahi. E pāngia ana tēnei pakanga e ngā mano tini o ngā wāhine i a rātou e raru ana i ngā kare ā-roto. Nā te mea kāore he 'oti', he 'tikanga' rānei, kāore he kōwhiringa tika i konei.

Koinei tonu te kōrero a Candace Alnaji: "Ehara koe i te whaea kino nā te mea ka haere koe ki te mahi i ia rā. Waihoki, ehara koe i te mea he koretake nā te mea kua whakarērea e koe tō umanga. He mea whaiaro ngā kōwhiringa mō te mahi me te whānau – kāore he tikanga kotahi e pai ana mō te katoa. Ko te tangata e kī ana i tētahi atu mea he hē ia."

Tērā pea kei te hapu koe, he whaea hou rānei koe. Tērā pea he whaea hou koe e tīmata anō ana ki te mahi, he whaea rānei kua mutu tana mahi. Ahakoa tō āhua, kei konei ahau me tētahi kōrero hei hoatu ki a koe te tirohanga e rapu ana koe. Kia tīmata tātou i te haerenga tahi, kia kite ai me pēhea te haere a ētahi atu i roto i ō tātou hu i mua.

Te Whaea, te Mahi rānei? Te Kōwhiri i waenga i te Pēpi me te Mahi

I whakaaro ahau me pēhea taku whakaoti i te raruraru e pā ana ki te tini o ngā wāhine o te ao. Ā, whakapono mai ki ahau ina kī atu ahau kua ngaro ahau. Tae noa ki taku tūtaki ki a Jay. He tūtakitanga tūpono, he hoa tahi māua, me te ekenga tereina ki te kāinga. I mōhio ahau ko tēhea kōrero ka kōrerotia e au, me pēhea hoki taku kōrero. I pā mai ana kupu ki ahau, ā, mā ana kupu ka tuhia e au tēnei kōrero.

I pāngia te hoa rangatira o Jay e te raruraru kotahi e pā ana ki a koe: te whiriwhiri i waenga i te pēpi me te mahi. I pāngia hoki ia e ngā āhuatanga o te pouri, te riri, te wahangu, me te whakaae. Anei tētahi kōrero e tūhura ana i te whaea me te mahi, me ngā mea katoa e pā ana ki tēnei pakanga.

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"I wehi ia kei raru tana mahi i tana haputanga"

I tatari ahau mō te haora i waho o te kāreti o Mithibai ki te whakapuaki i te rongo ki a ia. I a au e pupuri ana i ngā pūrongo toto o taku wahine i tae mai ki ahau i taua rā anō, i tatari puku ahau me te manawanui i a ia e haere ana ki tētahi kauhau i roto i te kāreti.

I mua ake o te rā, i amuamu ia mō te whanoke me te ngenge, engari i tino mōhio ia kāore ia i te hapu. I tōna putanga mai, ā, i haere māua ki te tekesi, ka kī atu ahau ki a ia kāore he pūtake o tana whakapono (kāore ia i te hapu). I titiro mai ia ki ahau me te kore whakapono, ā, i haere puku mai i tōku taha, kāore i te pupuri i tōku ringa, i a māua e whiti ana i te tiriti. I ngaro ia i roto i ōna whakaaro.

Ahakoa i mua i tana neke ki tōku whare noho i Hiona, kua maha ā māua kōrero mō tēnei mea . Ahakoa he tino kaha māua ki te moe tāne, i mārama tana kī kāore ia e hiahia ki te whānau tamariki. He kairīpoata ia, ā, i wehi ia kei whakararuraru tana mahi i te wā e hapu ana ia, kei whakangaro rawa rānei i tana mahi. I mārama tana hiahia i waenga i te whaea me te mahi.

I whakamahia e mātou ngā momo mahi ārai katoa. Ahakoa i whakamahia tonutia e au he ure tāne, i runga ia i te pire. Engari e ai ki te kōrero, he rerekē te moepuku: i ētahi wā kāore e taea te ārai. Kāore e taea te ātete i te whakamatautauranga mena kāore he ure tāne i te taha tata. Waihoki, e ai ki tā mātou i kite ai, kāore e taea te whakawhirinaki katoa ki te ure pakarukaru.

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"Kāore i te kēmu i mua"

I ētahi wā, ka hokona e au he kete kete hapūtanga, ā, ka whakamātauria e ia. He momo kēmu tēnei kua tīmata mātou ki te pārekareka ki ai. Heoi, i tētahi rā, kāore i rite ki te kēmu. Kāore mātou i whakaaro me whiriwhiri ia i waenga i te whaea, i te mahi rānei.

I tētahi rā, i wareware mātou ki te maka i te rākau. I muri tata mai i tētahi meneti, i ētahi meneti rānei, ka kite ahau i tētahi rārangi ngoikore tuarua i te papa tohu. Ka mea tonu atu ahau ki a ia. "Me whakamātau anō tāua. Haere ki te kawe mai i ētahi atu kete hapūtanga," tana pātai. I haere ahau ki te kawe mai i ētahi kete hapūtanga e ono māna. E rua o aua kete i whakaatu i te hua pai, e rua kāore i te mārama, ā, ko ētahi atu e rua i whakaatu i te hua kino.

I tohutohu mai tētahi hoa kia whakamātauria he toto, koinei pea te huarahi tino tika hei whakaū i te haputanga. Nā tana mahi pukumahi, i taea e mātou te whakamātau i ngā toto i ngā wiki e rua i muri mai. Ā, i ngā rā e toru i muri mai, ka tae mai te pūrongo he pai.

I taua rā anō, ka whakatau mātou ki te kite i tētahi tākuta i tērā taha o te rori mai i te kāreti. I te wā i whakaritea ai he wā hui ki te tākuta, e rua wiki kua pahure, ā, kua ngaro kē tana paheketanga. I hiahia ia ki te whakatahe . Mō tēnei, me haere mātou ki tētahi whare hauora tūmataiti.

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"I rongo mātou i te haruru o te ngākau e patupatu ana"

I te wiki i muri mai, ka whakatau māua ki te toro atu ki tētahi atu tākuta. I tēnei wā, kua ono wiki kē te hapūtanga o taku wahine, ā, ka tohutohu te tākuta kia tirotirohia ia e te ultrasound. "Kei te patu te ngākau o tō pēpi. Whakarongo mai. Kātahi ka hoki mai ki ahau," te kī a te tākuta.

E rima ngā rā i muri mai, ka hoki mātou ki te hōhipera o Lilavati mō te mahi. I rongo mātou i te tangi o te ngākau e patupatu ana. He nui te haruru, he mārama, he tere ake i te pao o te ngākau noa, ā, i tika tonu ki tōku ngākau. I muri i te tirotiro ultrasound, ka kī atu ahau ki a ia kāore au e pai kia whakamutua te pao o te ngākau. I ngana ia ki te whiriwhiri i waenga i te whaea, i te mahi rānei, engari i hoki tonu tōku hinengaro ki taua tangi wawata e puta mai ana i te mīhini ultrasound.

I tino mārama te tākuta kāore e tika kia whakamutua te hāputanga tuatahi nā te mea ka pā mai he raruraru hauora i muri mai. I tika kia tere tā māua whakatau nā te mea ka tūpono pea te ora o taku wahine ki te whakaroa. I noho puku ia mō ngā rā e whai ake nei, e mahi ana i ana mahi o ia rā, he mahi ā-ringa noa iho. Tērā pea i āwangawanga ia kei hē ia hei mātua.

I kite ahau i a ia e ruarua ana i waenga i te whiriwhiri i te pēpi me tana mahi. I tino hiahia ia ki te mahi i te mea kua tata mai tana whakatairanga. Ko te noho noa i te kāinga me te whāngai i te pēpi hou ehara i te mea ko tana whakamāramatanga mō te 'oranga whai tikanga'.

E rima ngā rā kua pahure mai i tana 'wā', nō reira i whakatau ahau ki te tīmata i te kōrero. I muri i taku tīmatanga i te kōrero, i whakakitea mai e ia kāore anō ia kia whakatau i waenga i te whaea me te mahi. I muri mai, ka kōrero ahau ki te tākuta i tino whakahē i te whakatahe.

I waea atu ahau ki tōna tuahine matua, ā, i kōrero atu ahau mō te haputanga. I kōrero ia i te "rongo pai" ki te katoa o tō rātou whānau. I tīmata te waea a taku wahine ki te tangi tonu. I whakautua e ia te nuinga o aua waeatanga i roto i ngā kupu kotahi i mua i te whakatārewatanga i te waea, me te oati ka waea atu ki te katoa, engari kāore i mahia e ia. I taua wā, kua pau te wā mō te whakatahe haumaru. Ki te whakaroa atu, ka pāngia te whaea e ngā raruraru hauora.

"Ko taku piringa whakamutunga, e tōku whaea..."

Hei whakamutunga, i haere ahau ki te huarahi whakamutunga mā te waea atu ki te nama waea o tōku whaea. He tūroro mate pukupuku ia, kāore anō kia tono i tetahi mea mā taku wahine. Kāore anō hoki ahau kia rongo i taku wahine e kī 'kāo' ana ki tōku whaea. He hononga hauora tō rāua, ā, he nui te whakaute o tētahi ki tētahi.

Nā te mea kua tino mate rawa taku whaea, kāore i taea te haere, i tono ia ki taku wahine kia kite i a ia i Kolkata ko ia anake. E rima ngā rā i muri mai, ka rere mai taku hoa wahine e hapu ana. I hoki mai ia i muri i te wiki – me te ataata, me te menemene, ā, ka hoki ki tōna āhua o mua. I kī ia – he nui tōku harikoa – ka whānau te pēpi, ka whakahaere hoki i te mahi. Koinei pea te rā tino harikoa o tōku ao (engari kāore i te tino harikoa atu i te rā i whānau ai tā māua pēpi).

I te huringa o ngā rā me ngā wiki, ka uaua haere te noho tahi a taku wahine i waenga i tana mahi me te hapūtanga, ā, ka uaua haere ngā mea i te ara (he kōrero rerekē mō tētahi atu rā). Kāore i te maha ngā wā i kitea e ia he wā mōna ake. I te wiki tuatahi o Ākuhata 2012, i waea mai taku whaea ki ahau i te 10 i te pō. I mihi mai ia kia waimarie ahau mō te pēpi, ā, i kī mai ia e hiahia ana ia ki te whakarongo ki tōku reo mō te wā whakamutunga. E rua meneti i muri mai, ka pau tōna manawa.

I te 6 o Pēpuere, 2013, i whānau mai taku tama. He mea ngaro tonu te whanaungatanga i waenganui i taku wahine me taku whaea. Engari koinei tāna e kōrero mai ai:

I roto i ngā kupu a te whaea: he whaea, he mahi rānei?

Ehara i te mea ngāwari te whakatau kia whānau he pēpi. Ka rerekē ngā mea katoa; tō oranga mahi, tō oranga whaiaro, me tō oranga marena. Mā te pēpi koe e ārai i tō oranga mahi mō te iti rawa o te ono marama. Mā tō hāputanga koe e whakaroa, ā, ka haere tonu ō hoa mahi i te tere kotahi, ki te kore e tere ake, i roto i ō rātou oranga mahi.

Ka kōrero mātou mō te whakataurite i ngā mea e rua me te mahi i roto i te hapūtanga engari pātai atu ki tētahi whaea, ā, ka kī mai ia ki a koe he aha te uaua o te mahi. I tētahi wā, me whiriwhiri koe – ko te pēpi, ko tō oranga mahi rānei. Kāore rawa he taurite.

"He mea nui te whakatairanga i te tiaki i a rātou anō mō ​​ngā wāhine e whakatere ana i ngā wero o te mahi me te whaeatanga."

I ngā marama e toru whakamutunga i mua i te whānautanga, me ētahi atu marama e toru i muri mai, me neke atu tō arotahi mai i tō oranga mahi ki te pēpi anake. Ka mutu, ko te mea tuatahi kei waenganui i te whaea, i te mahi rānei.

Ina rite rawa koe ki te hoki ki te mahi, ka pā te whakatau ki tō hinengaro. Kei te whakawhirinaki tō pēpi ki te whāngai ū, ā, me inu ia i te pounamu i a koe e ngaro atu ana i te mahi. Whakaarohia te āhua o te tangi a te pēpi mō tō waiū, engari kua rite koe ki te haere ki te mahi i roto i tētahi, e rua rānei meneti.

Kātahi ka raru koe i ngā feaa nui mō te tiaki tika i te pēpi i a koe e ngaro ana. Ka rerekē ngā mea katoa i roto i te oranga o te whaea i te taenga mai o te pēpi, ā, ko te mea tuatahi ka pāngia ko tōna oranga mahi.

Kāore i a au he mahi tūturu mai i te whānautanga o taku pēpi. Kāore e taea e au te hoki ki taku mahi tawhito, ki taku tūranga rānei, i te iti rawa i tēnei wā tonu. Heoi anō, kua homai e taku pēpi he harikoa nui ki ahau. Ko ia te ao katoa ki ahau. Engari ka teka ahau mēnā ka kī atu ahau kāore au i te pouri i taku whiriwhiri i waenga i te mahi me te pēpi.

(Kua whakarerekētia ngā ingoa hei tiaki i ngā tuakiri)

FAQs

Thoughts Final

He take uaua te raruraru "whaea, mahi rānei" me ngā pānga nui ki te hapori me te ōhanga. Mā te wero i ngā tūranga ira tangata tuku iho, te whakatairanga i te ngāwari o te wāhi mahi, me te whakarato i ngā pūnaha tautoko e tika ana, ka taea e tātou te whakamana i ngā wāhine kia angitu i roto i ō rātou oranga ngaio me ō rātou oranga whaiaro. Ka whakaratohia e ā mātou kaitohutohu te tautoko me te ārahi hei aro atu ki ngā āwangawanga e pā ana ki te whakatairanga i te mahi, te tiaki i a rātou anō, me te whakatutuki i te taurite mahi-ora whai hua. Whakaritea he hui kōrero i tēnei rā.

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Ehara tō takoha i te koha aroha . Mā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe tonu mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.