"Kodi ungakhale m'chikondi mpaka kalekale?" Chabwino, kukonda munthu kwamuyaya kumawoneka ngati chinthu chachikondi kwambiri mukamawonera m'mafilimu kapena kuwerenga m'mabuku. Koma kodi pali chilichonse chotchedwa chikondi chamuyaya kapena ubale wamuyaya? Kafukufuku wambiri wanena kuti zimatero. Tonse takula kuwerenga kapena kumva nkhani za chikondi chamuyaya munthano ndi zolemba zakale (mukumbukira Romeo ndi Juliet?).
Komabe, zikafika pokumana nazo koyamba, ambiri amatha kujambula kanthu. Izi zimasiya anthu kufunsa mafunso monga "Kodi chikondi chamuyaya ndi chiyani?", "Kodi chikondi chamuyaya chilipo?" Mafunso awa amadodometsa makamaka m'badwo wa nzika zaku digito aka millennials ndi Gen-Zers. Pamene kupeza bwenzi n'zosavuta monga swiping pa foni yanu ndi zosweka zimachitika pa Snapchat, zikhoza kumva ngati akamanena za chikondi chenicheni wayamba kuiwala. Koma zimenezi sizikutanthauza kuti kulibe. Ikungotayika m’phokoso lonse. Komabe, mukachipeza, gwiritsitsani chifukwa chikhoza kusintha moyo wanu kwamuyaya.
Kodi Chikondi Chamuyaya Chimatanthauza Chiyani?
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Kodi chikondi chamuyaya chimatanthauza chiyani? Chabwino, ngati mutsatira tanthawuzo la chikondi chosatha cha dikishonale, limatanthauzira ngati chikondi chokhalitsa. Chikondi chomwe sichichepa ndi nthawi kapena kusweka ngakhale imfa. Zizindikiro zosiyanasiyana monga maluwa, maapulo, kapu, nkhunda, ndi zina zambiri, zagwiritsidwa ntchito pofotokoza kapena kuimira chikondi mu zaluso ndi chikhalidwe padziko lonse lapansi.
Chikondi chosatha ndi chikondi chomwe chili champhamvu kwambiri moti palibe chilichonse padziko lapansi chomwe chingachichotse. Ndi mtundu wa chikondi chomwe anthu ambiri amachilakalaka kapena kupita kukafunafuna moyo wawo wonse. Ndi ochepa okha omwe ali ndi mwayi omwe amatha kupeza ndi kukumana ndi chikondi chamuyaya choterocho chomwe chimakhalabe ngakhale pambuyo pa imfa ya okondedwa awo. Sizimatha, koma zimakulirakulira tsiku lililonse likapita. Ngati nthawi zonse mumadabwa ngati chikondi champhamvu chotere chingathe kuphuka pakati pa anthu awiri, nkhaniyi ikhoza kukhala ndi mayankho angapo:
“Ndi uyo,” anatero mnzake wa Steve, ndipo mtima wake unadumphadumpha asanayang’ane m’mwamba kuti awone Sheila – amene amati ndi mtsikana wokongola kwambiri m’tauniyo. Mwamuna, anali wowoneka bwino! Atavala malaya oyera ndi akabudula a denim, adalowa mu holo ya kanema nthawi yake ya 1:45 PM pawonetsero wa kanema wa tauni, pomwe Steve ndi mnzake anali atakhala pamipando yawo mphindi 20 zapitazi.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Sindikhulupirira mu Chikondi Ndi Ukwati
Pambuyo pa tsikulo, Sheila ndi Steve anayamba kukumana ndi kucheza pa khofi pa msewu waukulu. Sizinali zovuta kwambiri: makolo awo anali mabwenzi kwa nthawi yayitali, ndipo abambo ake adalowa mnyumba mwawo mosavuta, ndikutsitsimutsa mndandanda wa chakudya chamadzulo "monga kale".
Sheila nthawi zonse ankadziwa kuti Steve ali ndi zake. Nthawi zambiri ankangomugwira akumuyang'anitsitsa, koma ankangomwetulira mofatsa. Steve anali kusonyeza classic zizindikiro za kukhala wachikondi wopanda chiyembekezo, anali atayamba kumukonda Sheila osacheza naye kwenikweni. Mwachifundo, nthawi yawo inali yochulukirapo kuposa ma DM a Instagram, ma iPhones, ndi malo ochezera.
"Ndiye zomwe mumakonda ndi ziti?" Adafunsa Steve tsiku lina kwinaku akusewela mocha wake wa chokoleti choyera.
“Ndimakonda nyimbo, kuwerenga, kuyendayenda,” (kumene kunali mawu otchulika kwambiri) koma kenako anawonjezera kuti, “Inenso ndimakonda kulemba ndakatulo.”
Ndi zabwino bwanji zimenezo! Ndiye tiyeni timve ndakatulo kuchokera kwa inu.
"Umm…Chilichonse chinali chosiyana m'mawa uno," adayamba.
Dzuwa linawala kwambiri kuposa dzulo.
Nyenyezi zidakali m’mwamba, zinakana kuchoka!
Mpheta zinanong'onezana mosangalala.
Njuchi zinali zitapunthwa kale ndi chisangalalo choledzera,
Ndipo kodi alipo amene anaona mitengoyo ikugwedezeka?
Zosangalatsa zina zachilendo mumlengalenga. Zonse izi, kwa inu, Chikondi changa chamuyaya. ”…
"Chikondi changa chamuyaya?"
"Er, ndimomwe ndangolembera ... mukudziwa."
"Inde, ndikumva ... ndipo ... ndizabwino kwambiri ... ndimakonda."
Kodi Chikondi Chamuyaya Chilipodi Masiku Ano
Ngati njira yopita kumtima wa mwamuna idutsa m’mimba mwake, njira yolowera ku moyo wa mtsikana idutsa pamtima pake. Ndipo palibe chomwe chimachita ngati ndakatulo. Iwalani diamondi, ndimomwe Steve adapangira kulowa m'dziko la Sheila. Dziko limene ankakonda kukhalamo, dziko limene anazindikira kuti linali ndi tanthauzo langwiro kudziko lake. Steve ankakonda kusakanikirana kwa maiko awiriwa, podziwa mkati mwa moyo wake kuti kwinakwake, kalekale, iwo anali amodzi…
Anali Libra, ndipo amakonda kupanga mabwenzi ndi aliyense, makamaka osilira; ndi aulemu kwambiri moti sangathe kuthamangitsa aliyense! Koma Steve adapitilizabe kuchita bwino koyambirira, osatsimikiza pang'ono ngati kukhala m'chikondi ndi mkazi Libra zidzagwira ntchito mwa iye. Analemba ndakatulo zina zosachepera 20 kuti amusangalatse kwambiri.
Zotsatira zake, adakhala mabwenzi apamtima ndipo masiku awo a khofi adayambanso kukulirakulira. Atakambirana kwa nthawi yaitali pamasom'pamaso, anayambanso kuyimbirana foni ndi zina zotero. Ndiyeno tsiku lina Steve anafunsa Sheila ngati angakwatire.
“Sindinakonzekerebe.
“Aa, ndidikirira mpaka kalekale, ndidzakukonda mpaka kalekale, Sheila, ndiwe chilichonse changa,” anatero Steve kenako n’kumuyang’ana. “Koma chonde fulumirani!” anawonjezera akumwetulira.
Nthawi zambiri timaganiza malingaliro ngati 'chikondi ndi chamuyaya' kapena 'chikondi chikhalitsa' amapezeka mu nthano, mafilimu, ndi mabuku okha. Timakonda kuwonera ndikuwerenga nkhani zachikondi zamuyaya, komanso mwachinsinsi tikuyembekeza kuti tidzadzipeza tokha chikondi chozama chotere tsiku lina. Ndipotu, ndani amene safuna chikondi chimene chimatha moyo wawo wonse? Koma zimamvekanso ngati lingaliro la Utopian, chinthu chomwe chilipo m'malingaliro athu okha, osati dziko lenileni.
"Kodi mungayambe bwanji kukondana ndi munthu ndipo nthawi yomweyo mumapempha kuti mukwatirane?" Adafunsa mwaulemu Sheila. "Ndikutanthauza, ndizoseketsa pang'ono. Mungatsimikize bwanji choncho? Mumangokhalira kukamba za chikondi chamuyaya koma izi ndizovuta kwambiri. Mukudziwa bwanji kuti ndine chikondi chanu chamuyaya kapena tanthauzo la chikondi chamuyaya?"
Steve anati: “Ndithudi? "Ndili otsimikiza kuti ndife ogwirizana nawo, ndipo ndife osakwanirana popanda wina ndi mzake." Ponena za funso lakuti "kodi chikondi chamuyaya chilipo," sindikukayika za izo. Ndimakukondani kwamuyaya.
“Ndikukayikira kuti mwina tikuchita zinthu modzikuza. Sheila anatero.
M'dziko lamakono lamasewera ochezera a pa Intaneti ndi mapulogalamu a zibwenzi, wina akhoza kudabwa ngati tanthauzo la chikondi chamuyaya likadalipo. Kodi mungakhale m'chikondi kwamuyaya? Kapena kodi tanthauzo la chikondi chamuyaya latayika mu chipwirikiti cha moyo? Malinga ndi ofufuza ndi akatswiri, chikondi chosatha chidakalipo. Chikondi chenicheni ndi chamuyaya. N’zotheka kukonda munthu kwamuyaya ndipo maganizo amenewa amakula kwambiri tsiku lililonse.
A phunziro Nkhani ya okwatirana amene akhala limodzi kwa zaka 20 ndiponso kwa amene anayamba kukondana posachedwapa inanena kuti ma scan a muubongo a gulu lililonse amasonyeza mmene amachitira zinthu akamasonyezedwa zithunzi za okondedwa awo. Chikondi chamuyaya chingakhalenso kusankha komwe mungapange kutengera kuthekera kwanu kokonda wina mpaka pamenepo. Ngati mnzanuyo wayendetsa kusintha mwa inu kapena kukuthandizani kukula ndikukhala munthu wabwino, mwinamwake mudzawakonda kwamuyaya.
N’kutheka kuti munthu amakayikira za chikondi atamva zowawa ndi imfa ya wokondedwa wawo. Zitheka bwanji khalani m'chikondi kwamuyaya, angadabwe. Nthawi zina, timatengeka kwambiri ndi malingaliro olakwika kotero kuti zimakhala zosatheka kuyang'ana mbali yowala. Chikondi ndi kutengeka mtima kwenikweni. Chikondi chamuyaya si nthano zachikondi koma kupeza chikondi choterocho m'moyo weniweni ndi chomwe chimapangitsa kuti chikhale chokongola komanso chodabwitsa.
Kodi Kukonda Munthu Kwamuyaya Kumatanthauza Chiyani?
Sheila anavomera kuti akwatiwe ndi Steve atalingalira za pempho lake kwa masiku angapo. Posakhalitsa, tsiku losangalala linafika ndipo anakwatirana. Aliyense m'tauniyo adachitcha chochitika chachikondi kwambiri pazaka khumi zapitazi. Ndipo moona, iwo ankawoneka kwamuyaya mu chikondi, osangalala kosatha. Ndi iye, Steve samafunsa kuti "Kodi chikondi chamuyaya chilipo?" Ndi Sheila pambali pake, akutsimikiza kuti zitero.
Koma kenako, Steve atakondwerera kubadwa kwake kwa zaka 40, chinthu chodabwitsa chinachitika. Iye anakhala mwamuna wosatetezeka, popanda chifukwa chilichonse, kungoganiza kuti tsopano anali kukalamba. Wokhumudwa, wamwano, komanso wokayikira ndi zomwe kusatetezeka kudamupangitsa kukhala, ngakhale amakondana zachikondi "Ndimakukondani mpaka kalekale".
Ndipo m’nthaŵi zoterozo m’pamene kulimba kwa chikondi kumayesedwadi. Ngati muli ndi mwayi wokhala mabwenzi kuwonjezera pa kukhala okondana, mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu akhoza kukupezani pa nthawi yovuta kwambiri ndikuyankhula nanu ngati bwenzi lenileni. Mwamuna kapena mkazi yemweyo amene muli nayeyo akhoza kukukhazika mtima pansi ndi kukupangitsani kuti musamadziderere. Ndipo Sheila anachita izo mwachikondi, ndi chilakolako ndi chifundo; ndipo momvetsetsa, ndi kuleza mtima kwakukulu, kupangitsa Steve kuzindikira kuti si iye yekha amene amamukonda kwambiri padziko lapansi komanso kuti ndi bwenzi lake lapamtima.
Chikondi chamuyaya ndi mgwirizano wamphamvu ndi wosasweka pakati pa anthu awiri okonzekera kukhala pamodzi. Mwina ndi maganizo amphamvu kwambiri amene anthu amawadziwa. Kukonda munthu kwamuyaya kumatanthauza kumusamalira ndi kumuthandiza pamavuto ndi pamavuto. Muyenera kukhala bwenzi lawo lapamtima ndikusankha kuwakonda ndi kuwasamalira tsiku lililonse. Kukonda munthu kwamuyaya kumatanthauza kuvomereza ndi kumulemekeza monga momwe alili, ndi zolakwa zake ndi kusiyana kwawo, ndi kusankha kutero kwa moyo wonse.
Kodi chikondi chosatha ndi chiyani? Mwinamwake, mungapeze yankho la zimenezo m’zimene zinachitika Steve atakwanitsa zaka 50. Zinthu zikumuyendera bwino kwambiri iyeyo ndi unansi wawo tsopano. Chikondi chenicheni ndi chamuyaya ndipo zaka zonsezi ndi umboni wa izo. Pambuyo pazaka 32 zakubadwa moyo wosangalala m’banja, galimotoyo ikuyendabe mwachimwemwe; zotumizira ndi ndakatulo zikadali zabwino, zoyenera kuyenda kosatha!
Ibibazo
Kulekeranji? Chikondi chenicheni ndi chamuyaya ndipo ngakhale pangakhale zokwezeka ndi zotsika, chikondicho chimapitilira ndipo ndicho chofunikira. Mukakumana ndi zopinga zonse, chikondi chanu sichidzatha ndipo ndipamene muyenera kunyadira kuzitcha "chikondi changa chamuyaya".
Mwa kusataya mtima pa iwo. Kukonda wina kwamuyaya sikungotanthauza kuulula zinthu zazikulu kapena kusonyeza chikondi ndi kunena kuti, “Ndimakukondabe mpaka muyaya” tsiku lililonse. Ndi za kutsimikizira kudzipereka kwanu ndi kuwona mtima kwa iwo mwa kukhala nawo nthawi zonse. Simutaya chikondi chanu chamuyaya ngakhale zitachitika zotani. Mumapitiriza kugwira dzanja lawo kwa nthawi yaitali momwe mungathere.
Yankho la chimene chiri chikondi chamuyaya kapena chimene chikondi chamuyaya chimatanthauza ndi losavuta. Ndi chikondi cha moyo wanu, chomwe mukufuna kukhala nacho moyo wanu wonse. Mukufuna kuyamba ndi kutsiriza tsiku lililonse ndi iwo ndipo mumadziwona nokha nawo mu gawo lililonse la moyo wanu.
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