"Kodi ungakhale m'chikondi mpaka kalekale?" Chabwino, kukonda munthu kwamuyaya kumawoneka ngati chinthu chachikondi kwambiri mukamawonera m'mafilimu kapena kuwerenga m'mabuku. Koma kodi pali chilichonse chotchedwa chikondi chamuyaya kapena ubale wamuyaya? Kafukufuku wambiri wanena kuti zimatero. Tonse takula kuwerenga kapena kumva nkhani za chikondi chamuyaya munthano ndi zolemba zakale (mukumbukira Romeo ndi Juliet?).
Komabe, zikafika pokumana nazo koyamba, ambiri amatha kujambula kanthu. Izi zimasiya anthu kufunsa mafunso monga "Kodi chikondi chamuyaya ndi chiyani?", "Kodi chikondi chamuyaya chilipo?" Mafunso awa amadodometsa makamaka m'badwo wa nzika zaku digito aka millennials ndi Gen-Zers. Pamene kupeza bwenzi n'zosavuta monga swiping pa foni yanu ndi zosweka zimachitika pa Snapchat, zikhoza kumva ngati akamanena za chikondi chenicheni wayamba kuiwala. Koma zimenezi sizikutanthauza kuti kulibe. Ikungotayika m’phokoso lonse. Komabe, mukachipeza, gwiritsitsani chifukwa chikhoza kusintha moyo wanu kwamuyaya.
Kodi Chikondi Chamuyaya Chimatanthauza Chiyani?
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Kodi chikondi chosatha chimatanthauza chiyani? Chabwino, ngati mutatsatira tanthauzo la chikondi chosatha la dikishonale, limatanthauzira ngati chikondi chomwe chimakhala kwamuyaya. Chikondi chomwe sichimachepa ndi nthawi kapena kusweka ngakhale ndi imfa. Zizindikiro zosiyanasiyana monga maluwa, maapulo, makapu, nkhunda, ndi zina zambiri, zagwiritsidwa ntchito kufotokoza kapena kuyimira chikondi mu zaluso ndi chikhalidwe padziko lonse lapansi.
Chikondi chosatha ndi chikondi chomwe chili champhamvu kwambiri moti palibe chilichonse padziko lapansi chomwe chingachichotse. Ndi mtundu wa chikondi chomwe anthu ambiri amachilakalaka kapena kupita kukafunafuna moyo wawo wonse. Ndi ochepa okha omwe ali ndi mwayi omwe amatha kupeza ndi kukumana ndi chikondi chamuyaya choterocho chomwe chimakhalabe ngakhale pambuyo pa imfa ya okondedwa awo. Sizimatha, koma zimakulirakulira tsiku lililonse likapita. Ngati nthawi zonse mumadabwa ngati chikondi champhamvu chotere chingathe kuphuka pakati pa anthu awiri, nkhaniyi ikhoza kukhala ndi mayankho angapo:
“Ndi uyo,” anatero mnzake wa Steve, ndipo mtima wake unadumphadumpha asanayang’ane m’mwamba kuti awone Sheila – amene amati ndi mtsikana wokongola kwambiri m’tauniyo. Mwamuna, anali wowoneka bwino! Atavala malaya oyera ndi akabudula a denim, adalowa mu holo ya kanema nthawi yake ya 1:45 PM pawonetsero wa kanema wa tauni, pomwe Steve ndi mnzake anali atakhala pamipando yawo mphindi 20 zapitazi.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Sindikhulupirira Chikondi ndi Ukwati
Pambuyo pa tsikulo, Sheila ndi Steve anayamba kukumana ndi kucheza pa khofi pa msewu waukulu. Sizinali zovuta kwambiri: makolo awo anali mabwenzi kwa nthawi yayitali, ndipo abambo ake adalowa mnyumba mwawo mosavuta, ndikutsitsimutsa mndandanda wa chakudya chamadzulo "monga kale".
Sheila nthawi zonse ankadziwa kuti Steve ali ndi zomwe akufuna. Nthawi zambiri ankamuwona akumuyang'ana, koma ankangomwetulira mofatsa zomwe zinamupangitsa kukhala wosangalala. Steve anali kusonyeza zizindikiro zachikondi zopanda chiyembekezo , anali atayamba kukondana ndi Sheila popanda kukambirana naye kwenikweni. Mwamwayi, nthawi yawo inali yambiri asanatumizire ma DM pa Instagram, ma iPhone, ndi malo ochezera a pa Intaneti.
"Ndiye zomwe mumakonda ndi ziti?" Adafunsa Steve tsiku lina kwinaku akusewela mocha wake wa chokoleti choyera.
“Ndimakonda nyimbo, kuwerenga, kuyendayenda,” (kumene kunali mawu otchulika kwambiri) koma kenako anawonjezera kuti, “Inenso ndimakonda kulemba ndakatulo.”
Ndi zabwino bwanji zimenezo! Ndiye tiyeni timve ndakatulo kuchokera kwa inu.
"Umm…Chilichonse chinali chosiyana m'mawa uno," adayamba.
Dzuwa linawala kwambiri kuposa dzulo.
Nyenyezi zidakali m’mwamba, zinakana kuchoka!
Mpheta zinanong'onezana mosangalala.
Njuchi zinali zitapunthwa kale ndi chisangalalo choledzera,
Ndipo kodi alipo amene anaona mitengoyo ikugwedezeka?
Zosangalatsa zina zachilendo mumlengalenga. Zonse izi, kwa inu, Chikondi changa chamuyaya. ”…
"Chikondi changa chamuyaya?"
"Er, ndimomwe ndangolembera ... mukudziwa."
"Inde, ndikumva ... ndipo ... ndizabwino kwambiri ... ndimakonda."
Kodi Chikondi Chamuyaya Chilipodi Masiku Ano
Ngati njira yopita kumtima wa mwamuna idutsa m’mimba mwake, njira yolowera ku moyo wa mtsikana idutsa pamtima pake. Ndipo palibe chomwe chimachita ngati ndakatulo. Iwalani diamondi, ndimomwe Steve adapangira kulowa m'dziko la Sheila. Dziko limene ankakonda kukhalamo, dziko limene anazindikira kuti linali ndi tanthauzo langwiro kudziko lake. Steve ankakonda kusakanikirana kwa maiko awiriwa, podziwa mkati mwa moyo wake kuti kwinakwake, kalekale, iwo anali amodzi…
Iye anali Libra, ndipo amakonda kupanga ubwenzi ndi aliyense, makamaka anthu okonda; ndi aulemu kwambiri moti sangakane aliyense! Koma Steve adapitilizabe kupambana koyamba, osadziwa ngati kukonda mkazi wa Libra kungamuthandize. Analemba ndakatulo zina zosachepera 20 kuti amusangalatse kwambiri.
Zotsatira zake, adakhala mabwenzi apamtima ndipo masiku awo a khofi adayambanso kukulirakulira. Atakambirana kwa nthawi yaitali pamasom'pamaso, anayambanso kuyimbirana foni ndi zina zotero. Ndiyeno tsiku lina Steve anafunsa Sheila ngati angakwatire.
“Sindinakonzekerebe.
“Aa, ndidikirira mpaka kalekale, ndidzakukonda mpaka kalekale, Sheila, ndiwe chilichonse changa,” anatero Steve kenako n’kumuyang’ana. “Koma chonde fulumirani!” anawonjezera akumwetulira.
Nthawi zambiri timaganiza kuti mfundo monga 'chikondi ndi chamuyaya' kapena ' chikondi chimakhala kwamuyaya ' zimapezeka m'nthano, m'mafilimu, ndi m'mabuku okha. Timakonda kuonera ndi kuwerenga nkhani zachikondi zosatha, komanso mobisa tikuyembekeza kuti tsiku lina tidzadzipezera chikondi chozama chotere. Ndipotu, ndani safuna chikondi chomwe chimakhala kwamuyaya? Koma zimamvekanso ngati lingaliro la Utopian, chinthu chomwe chilipo m'maloto athu okha, osati m'dziko lenileni.
"Kodi mungayambe bwanji kukondana ndi munthu ndipo nthawi yomweyo mumapempha kuti mukwatirane?" Adafunsa mwaulemu Sheila. "Ndikutanthauza, ndizoseketsa pang'ono. Mungatsimikize bwanji choncho? Mumangokhalira kukamba za chikondi chamuyaya koma izi ndizovuta kwambiri. Mukudziwa bwanji kuti ndine chikondi chanu chamuyaya kapena tanthauzo la chikondi chamuyaya?"
Steve anati: “Ndithudi? "Ndili otsimikiza kuti ndife ogwirizana nawo, ndipo ndife osakwanirana popanda wina ndi mzake." Ponena za funso lakuti "kodi chikondi chamuyaya chilipo," sindikukayika za izo. Ndimakukondani kwamuyaya.
“Ndikukayikira kuti mwina tikuchita zinthu modzikuza. Sheila anatero.
M'dziko lamakono lamasewera ochezera a pa Intaneti ndi mapulogalamu a zibwenzi, wina akhoza kudabwa ngati tanthauzo la chikondi chamuyaya likadalipo. Kodi mungakhale m'chikondi kwamuyaya? Kapena kodi tanthauzo la chikondi chamuyaya latayika mu chipwirikiti cha moyo? Malinga ndi ofufuza ndi akatswiri, chikondi chosatha chidakalipo. Chikondi chenicheni ndi chamuyaya. N’zotheka kukonda munthu kwamuyaya ndipo maganizo amenewa amakula kwambiri tsiku lililonse.
Kafukufuku wochitidwa pa maanja omwe akhala limodzi kwa zaka 20 komanso omwe adangoyamba kumene kukondana anati ma scan a ubongo wa gulu lililonse anali ndi zotsatira zofanana akawonetsedwa zithunzi za okondedwa awo. Chikondi chosatha chingakhalenso chisankho chomwe mumapanga kutengera luso lanu lokonda munthu mpaka pamenepo. Ngati mnzanu wanu wakupangitsani kusintha kapena kukuthandizani kukula ndikukhala munthu wabwino, mwina mudzamukonda kwamuyaya.
N'zotheka kuti munthu amakhala ndi chiyembekezo pa chikondi atatha kumva ululu ndi imfa ya wokondedwa wake. Angadzifunse kuti, kodi zingatheke bwanji kukhalabe m'chikondi kwamuyaya ? Nthawi zina, timakhudzidwa kwambiri ndi malingaliro oipa kotero kuti zimakhala zovuta kuyang'ana mbali yowala. Chikondi ndi malingaliro enieni. Chikondi chosatha si chikondi cha nthano koma kupeza chikondi chotere m'moyo weniweni ndiko kumapangitsa kuti chikhale chokongola komanso chapadera.
Kodi Kukonda Munthu Kwamuyaya Kumatanthauza Chiyani?
Sheila anavomera kuti akwatiwe ndi Steve atalingalira za pempho lake kwa masiku angapo. Posakhalitsa, tsiku losangalala linafika ndipo anakwatirana. Aliyense m'tauniyo adachitcha chochitika chachikondi kwambiri pazaka khumi zapitazi. Ndipo moona, iwo ankawoneka kwamuyaya mu chikondi, osangalala kosatha. Ndi iye, Steve samafunsa kuti "Kodi chikondi chamuyaya chilipo?" Ndi Sheila pambali pake, akutsimikiza kuti zitero.
Koma kenako, Steve atakondwerera tsiku lake lobadwa la 40, chinthu chachilendo chinachitika. Anakhala mwamuna wosadzidalira , popanda chifukwa chilichonse, kungoganiza kuti tsopano anali kukalamba. Kusadzidalira kunamupangitsa kukhala wokhumudwa, wokwiya, komanso wokayikira, ngakhale kuti anali ndi chikondi cha "Ndimakukondani kwamuyaya".
Ndipo m’nthaŵi zoterozo m’pamene kulimba kwa chikondi kumayesedwadi. Ngati muli ndi mwayi wokhala mabwenzi kuwonjezera pa kukhala okondana, mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu akhoza kukupezani pa nthawi yovuta kwambiri ndikuyankhula nanu ngati bwenzi lenileni. Mwamuna kapena mkazi yemweyo amene muli nayeyo akhoza kukukhazika mtima pansi ndi kukupangitsani kuti musamadziderere. Ndipo Sheila anachita izo mwachikondi, ndi chilakolako ndi chifundo; ndipo momvetsetsa, ndi kuleza mtima kwakukulu, kupangitsa Steve kuzindikira kuti si iye yekha amene amamukonda kwambiri padziko lapansi komanso kuti ndi bwenzi lake lapamtima.
Chikondi chamuyaya ndi mgwirizano wamphamvu ndi wosasweka pakati pa anthu awiri okonzekera kukhala pamodzi. Mwina ndi maganizo amphamvu kwambiri amene anthu amawadziwa. Kukonda munthu kwamuyaya kumatanthauza kumusamalira ndi kumuthandiza pamavuto ndi pamavuto. Muyenera kukhala bwenzi lawo lapamtima ndikusankha kuwakonda ndi kuwasamalira tsiku lililonse. Kukonda munthu kwamuyaya kumatanthauza kuvomereza ndi kumulemekeza monga momwe alili, ndi zolakwa zake ndi kusiyana kwawo, ndi kusankha kutero kwa moyo wonse.
Kodi chikondi chosatha n'chiyani? Mwina, mungapeze yankho la funsoli pa zomwe zinachitika Steve atakwanitsa zaka 50. Zinthu zikuyenda bwino kwambiri kwa iye ndi ubale wawo tsopano. Chikondi chenicheni ndi chosatha ndipo zaka zonsezi ndi umboni wa zimenezo. Pambuyo pa zaka 32 za moyo wachimwemwe wabanja , galimotoyo ikuyendabe mosangalala; ma transmissions ndi ndakatulo akadali abwino, oyenera kuyenda kosatha!
Ibibazo
Kulekeranji? Chikondi chenicheni ndi chamuyaya ndipo ngakhale pangakhale zokwezeka ndi zotsika, chikondicho chimapitilira ndipo ndicho chofunikira. Mukakumana ndi zopinga zonse, chikondi chanu sichidzatha ndipo ndipamene muyenera kunyadira kuzitcha "chikondi changa chamuyaya".
Mwa kusataya mtima pa iwo. Kukonda wina kwamuyaya sikungotanthauza kuulula zinthu zazikulu kapena kusonyeza chikondi ndi kunena kuti, “Ndimakukondabe mpaka muyaya” tsiku lililonse. Ndi za kutsimikizira kudzipereka kwanu ndi kuwona mtima kwa iwo mwa kukhala nawo nthawi zonse. Simutaya chikondi chanu chamuyaya ngakhale zitachitika zotani. Mumapitiriza kugwira dzanja lawo kwa nthawi yaitali momwe mungathere.
Yankho la chimene chiri chikondi chamuyaya kapena chimene chikondi chamuyaya chimatanthauza ndi losavuta. Ndi chikondi cha moyo wanu, chomwe mukufuna kukhala nacho moyo wanu wonse. Mukufuna kuyamba ndi kutsiriza tsiku lililonse ndi iwo ndipo mumadziwona nokha nawo mu gawo lililonse la moyo wanu.
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